Nobody shows up to man’s pool party, his response is a lesson every adult should see

Planning an event can be tricky for busy adults. Even just finding time to hang out together can feel nearly impossible, but that didn’t stop Erich Wolters from trying to get his group of friends together. It was a last-minute thing after realizing he would have the whole day to himself. No one showed.

Putting yourself out there can feel vulnerable. No one showing up after you’ve been vulnerable can be devastating. This could have easily resulted in hurt feelings and a refusal to invite these same friends to future events. Instead, Wolters led with understanding. He explains what happened in a post on LinkedIn.

“No one showed up to my pool party. Threw out a bunch of invites. Kinda last minute. But figured at least one or two would show. Girls were out of town at a horse show. Thought this could be my “hall pass” moment. Nope. Had the pool to myself,” Wolters writes. “Even cleaned up the house in case someone came inside. Wiped down the counters and everything.”

He was a man on a mission to get in some much-needed bro time on a sunny day. The sun was shining, tunes were blasting, and he had burgers to toss on the grill. Even with everything in place, ready for a good time to be had, it didn’t matter. No one came, but that didn’t matter either because Wolters refused to let it stop him from having a good time.

“But you know what? The tunes were rolling and the burger was a perfect bite under the hot sun. As adults, it’s easy to make up excuses. Run out of time and energy to make and keep relationships,” he says. “Max Herman said it best last week: ‘The male loneliness epidemic is no joke.’ He’s right. And it inspired me to get a little weird. To put myself out there knowing full well no one might show. Was it worth it? Ya. Because my friends and neighbors know I care enough to invite them. And I’m going to keep asking.”

A 2024 survey shows that 21% of people are lonely, with 73% pointing to technology as a contributor to the issue and 66% citing a lack of time with family. Sixty-two percent reported people being too busy or working too much as part of the reason for feeling lonely, according to a Harvard report.

The male loneliness epidemic may be a bit overblown, but it’s important to talk about it openly. According to a 2025 Pew Research survey, 16% of men report being lonely compared to 15% of women. There’s no chasm between the two genders when it comes to loneliness. It seems that people of all genders are feeling a social disconnect as adults.

One of Wolters’ readers points out, “This doesn’t get talked about enough. People just don’t invite each other over for something casual anymore. We used to do laundry and grocery shop together.”

Someone else writes, “This resonates for me too. I’m a huge social guy. Entertaining. Hosting. After our kids were grown and moved out our friend group changed. We moved too so that makes it harder to get together. Games night. Bbq. Hot tub night. Being social with other humans is such a need for being human. Thanks for posting this. I too will keep inviting.”

“This post really hit home for me. Over the last few years I have officially branded myself as a hermit. Life gets so busy and complicated that having time for friends becomes part of a logistical challenge. On the brighter side I just started playing golf and excitedly told my wife I made new “golf friends”. She rolled her eyes,” another chimes in.

One reader has solid advice, writing, “Get a group of regulars that you can always count on. I am blessed to have a handful of friends that will never say no, often to their detriment. This should be turned into a viral ‘challenge’. Thanks for posting!”