There are few jobs that require people to be as nattily dressed as a TV news anchorperson. One has to look good for the camera while also projecting professionalism and credibility.
“It’s part of our uniform,” Tim Pham, the morning anchor on “Up with KREM” in Spokane, Washington, told USA Today. “It’s required in TV, I guess. It’s not written on paper, but when you turn on the news, the viewer expects to see someone who is dressed professionally.”
Having to look good every day means you accumulate quite an impressive wardrobe. Pham had a large collection of 250 ties—many of them crammed beneath his work desk—so he decided to share them with any young, up-and-coming journalists who may need one.
He put the offer out to his followers on Twitter.
Young professionals/journalists: I am giving away some of my ties! 8 yrs ago I opened up my first paycheck in TV for a whopping $600! I worked 3 jobs just to get by, let alone buy ties for work. If you need a tie, DM me. All I ask is that you pay it forward one day. #PhamilyTiespic.twitter.com/QAyeoT8t6H— KREM 2 Tim Pham (@NewsPham) March 22, 2022
“8 yrs ago I opened up my first paycheck in TV for a whopping $600! I worked 3 jobs just to get by, let alone buy ties for work,” the tweet said. “If you need a tie, DM me. All I ask is that you pay it forward one day.”
Pham couldn’t believe the response.
“It did reach a lot of journalists,” Pham told USA Today. “But I also heard from people in different industries, recent college grads, a lot of seniors in college. Nonprofits even reached out to me. There was a jail that reached out to me asking about filling their closet for people leaving the prison system to then go find a job for an interview.”
Overwhelmed by the number of requests, Pham had to figure out the logistics of sending out all of the ties and some businesses reached out to help. A laundry company said it would help wash the ties. A shipping company said it would send the ties free of charge and others reached out to donate their used ties to the cause.
Pham now calls his mini charitable organization “Phamily Ties.”
Pham told Upworthy that Phamily Ties has sent out around 100 ties and handed out more than a dozen locally in Spokane since his tweet. He hopes his tie giveaway encourages young journalists to “keep working hard” and to pursue their dreams.
“They shouldn’t be counted out from a job they are qualified for because they don’t have the means to buy a tie,” he told Upworthy. “I hope this initiative encourages others to pay it forward and help the next generation coming behind us. So many people invested in me, now it’s time to do it for someone else.”
He also believes that having the right tie can help young professionals get the confidence they need to succeed.
“A tie by itself is nothing impressive, it’s a piece of fabric stitched up,” he told Upworthy. “However, when worn, it adds more than style, it boosts confidence and shows others they are a professional. Everyone should be able to walk in this confidence and professionalism, yet the cost of ties is out of budget and not a priority for journalists who make pennies in their first job.”
As for now, Pham isn’t accepting donations but is getting his partners together for another tie drive in 2023.
“I am in the early stages of developing another giveaway next year with the help of sponsors and my company to help organize a campaign/event,” he told Upworthy.
People often deride Twitter as a place that fosters negativity and creates division in America. However, Pham’s experience is wonderful proof that there are still a lot of great people out there and that social media can bring them together to help those making their way in the world.
From Pakistan to Tanzania, the most effective education solutions are community-led. Here’s how local leaders, in partnership with Malala Fund and supported by Pura, are mobilizing entire communities.
When asked to describe what Tanzania smells like, Grace Isekore closes her eyes and breathes in deep. For a moment, she’s somewhere else entirely. Tanzania is a rich tapestry of sights and scents, from the smell of sea mist that permeates the coastline to the earthy cardamom and cloves she cooks with in her kitchen. But when Grace emerges from her reverie, her answer is unexpected.
“Tanzania smells like peace,” she says, her eyes still closed. “I see a beautiful country where we are free to move, free to speak. And there is peace within the community.”
For Grace, that sense of peace isn’t just something she smells; it’s something she works toward every day. As a project coordinator with Pastoral Women’s Council (PWC), a women-led organization that empowers pastoralist communities in northern Tanzania, she has seen firsthand how girls flourish when they have the opportunity to attend school. Like scent, education not only connects girls to their own culture, but also helps broaden their horizons, realizing new possibilities for themselves and others. That transformation reshapes entire communities and ripples outward, with the potential to change countries and transform the world for the better.
Different scents, different approaches, and communities driving change
Spices in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
For Grace and others around the world, education is freedom, as well as a pathway to a stronger community. Rooted in that shared belief, Pura, a home fragrance company, was inspired to build on their four-year partnership with Malala Fund to create something truly unique: a fragrance collection that connects people through scent to communities in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil, where barriers to girls’ education are among the highest.
Using ingredients from each region, the new Pura x Malala Fund Collection uses scent to transport people to these regions directly. “Future in Bloom,” for example, invokes Pakistan’s lush valleys through notes of jasmine, cedarwood, and mango; while Tanzania’s fragrance, “Heart on Fire,” evokes the spirit and joyfulness of the girls who live there through cardamom, lemon, and green tea.
The new Collection honors the work Malala Fund does every day, partnering with locally-led organizations in these four countries to ensure every girl can access and complete 12 years of education. Each scent celebrates the joy, tenacity, and courage of the women and girls driving change on the ground, while also augmenting Pura’s annual grant to Malala Fund by donating eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection to Malala Fund directly.
Just as each country’s scent is unique, so too are their needs related to education. But with support from Malala Fund and Pura, local leaders are coming up with creative ways to mobilize entire communities (parents, teachers, elders, and the students themselves, in their pursuit of solutions, understanding that educating girls helps everyone thrive. Here’s how their efforts are creating real, durable impact in Tanzania and Pakistan, and creating a ripple effect that changes the world for the better.
Parent-teacher associations help Maasai girls and their communities in Tanzania problem-solve
A girl’s school in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Northern Tanzania, Grace’s home, is home to pastoralist communities like the Maasai, a nomadic people who have moved with the seasons to nurture the land and care for their livestock for centuries. The nomadic nature of this lifestyle creates significant and unique barriers to girls’ education. Longstanding gender roles have enabled Maasai to survive in the harsh environment and have placed great value on both women and men. Over time, as nomadic life has been threatened by the privatization of land and stationary education models have been implemented, the reality of pastoralist livelihood has shifted and introduced new complexities. Now, the sheer distance to schools is both a practical challenge and one that often comes with danger from the landscape, predators, and potential exposure to assault along the journey. Girls shoulder the responsibility of household chores and there is often cultural pressure around early marriage – both leading to boys’ education being prioritized over girls’.
“There are very, very good [pastoralist] cultural practices, which are passed from generation to generation,” says Janet Kimori, an English teacher at Lekule Girls Secondary School in Longido, Tanzania. But when cultural practices act as educational barriers, “you have to sit down and look for where you are going to assist. As a school, as an individual, the school administration—all of us will chip in and know how we are going to deal with this problem.”
PWC works to ensure girls are able to exercise their right to an education while also preserving pastoralist culture. One successful approach, the organization found, has been the formation of Parent Teacher Associations (PTAs), created with help from Malala Fund. In PTA meetings, students, parents, teachers, elders, and government officials meet, discuss educational barriers, and come up with community-led solutions that preserve and honor their culture while advancing educational outcomes.
PTA meeting in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
One recent PTA meeting highlights how these community-led solutions are often the most effective. At Lekule Girls Secondary School, the lack of fresh water forces girls to walk long distances to collect water for the school’s kitchen during the school day, and these long journeys not only disrupt class time but can leave girls vulnerable to sexual assault in isolated areas. Through facilitated discussion, PTA members landed on a solution: installing a borehole to pipe in fresh water to the school. Reliable access to water creates a better learning environment for the girls, but it also benefits the community at large, as local governments are then more likely to invest in health clinics and other community resources nearby.
With a solution in place, the PTA was then able to discuss ideas and map out a course of action. The women would raise money for the cost of the borehole, while the men would recruit workers to dig the hole and lay the pipe. Together, they would ask government officials to match their investment.
The benefits of PTA meetings within the pastoralist communities are undeniable. “The girls are talking and addressing issues in a confident way, and parents feel they are part of the resource team to solve challenges happening at school,” Grace says. One unexpected benefit: The larger cultural impact these PTA meetings have created. Thanks to the success of PTAs within pastoralist communities, the models are now being endorsed on a national level, and schools across Tanzania are starting to use them to solve problems in their own communities. When a community creates opportunities for girls to learn, everyone benefits.
Safe spaces in rural Pakistan help students and their parents connect, then drive change
Safe space for girls meeting in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
A continent away in Pakistan, the country’s northernmost region of Gilgit-Baltistan seems like a land untouched by time. The region’s looming mountains, snow-capped peaks, lush valleys and crystalline lakes draw nature lovers and landscape photographers from around the world, but living among this kind of breathtaking scenery has its drawbacks. Schools in the region are few and far between, and the area’s harsh climate often makes roads inaccessible for travel. Poverty and gender-based discrimination are additional obstacles, making school even further out of reach, and girls are affected disproportionately. Going up against these barriers requires a persistent, quiet strength that’s found in the women who live there and reflected in Pakistan’s signature scent.
Saheli Circles are how local leaders in Gilgit-Baltistan are bridging the gap between girls and education. An Urdu term for “female friend,” Saheli Circles are after-school safe spaces where girls explore subjects like art and climate change, while also developing skills that help them manage emotions, set goals, and build positive relationships. Girls study in groups, visit the library, play sports, and tackle filmmaking and photography projects, all designed to develop self confidence and teach the girls how to advocate for issues that matter to them. But the work doesn’t stop there.
“What we’re trying to achieve here will only be impactful if it trickles down to the home environment and the school environment,” says Marvi Sumro, founder and program director of Innovate, Educate, and Inspire Pakistan (IEI), the local organization that developed the Saheli Circles model and partnered with Malala Fund in 2021 to make it a reality. Ever since, Saheli Circles have grown to involve teachers, elders, and parents to encourage relationship building that’s essential for young girls and adolescents. “Our spaces can give mothers and daughters an opportunity to interact a little differently—do an art activity, or have a cup of tea together, or some good conversation,” Marvi says.
The relationship building is what makes the biggest positive impact throughout the community. Recently, one Saheli Circle was able to bring together parents, teachers, and administrators to advocate for better education at their local school, and together they convinced the department of education to hire a science teacher. Another Saheli Circle organized a fund where members of the community can contribute monthly to pay for uniforms, books, and other school expenses for the girls in their village, eliminating those small, hidden costs that are often a barrier to education for many. A third Saheli Circle was able to produce a short film about how gender-based household chores can take away valuable study time from girls, leaving them at a disadvantage. “The girls put the film together and showed it to the mothers, and the response from the mothers was just beautiful,” Marvi says.
Girls smiling in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
The education and relationship building that the girls receive in Saheli Circles connects them to larger opportunities and economic freedom that are not possible in their hometown. “For girls in Gilgit-Baltistan, education is extremely important because of the fact that we’re so far away from where the economy is, where the opportunity is. Education becomes this bridge for us, for our girls, to access all the opportunity and economy that exists in [larger cities].”
From rural Tanzania to remote Pakistan, local organizations prove every day that prioritizing girls’ education benefits everyone. Communities that lift up girls are able to secure resources like clean water and well-staffed schools, as well as build stronger relationships.
These outcomes are only possible because of the women and girls who work tirelessly in these regions to overcome barriers and drive progress. The Pura x Malala Fund Collection is a way to honor them, celebrate their achievements, and unite people the world over around a shared belief that education is freedom. Like scent, that belief can build, travel, and has the possibility to transform the world.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Since he was twelve years old, Alexander Quinones had a dream: to open a restaurant. At 19, he invested $5,000 of his own savings, along with graduation money and support from his mother, Julie Stevens, to bring that dream to life. Thus, Detroit Loves Tacos 2 was born.
And yet, that dream was on the brink of fading. The fledgling restaurant struggled to attract customers, and Quinones was making just enough to cover daily expenses and pay his one employee. Closure seemed imminent.
“We had a difficult discussion that day. We’re gonna have to close if something doesn’t give,” Stevens told WXYZ-TV.
“I felt like I was failing in life a little bit. I put all my money into this, I put all my time into this. So it really, really hurt me,” Quinones added.
That was when the young business owner did something vulnerable: he made a heartfelt plea on TikTok, where he got candid about his situation.
He said his restaurant wasn’t built on “shortcuts” or “big investors,” but instead was the result of someone “working every single day, long nights with a vision.”
“Everything is made fresh with love and ready to serve,” he added, thanking those who have already visited and urging those who haven’t to “come by and check out what we’re doing.”
19 years old with a dream . 🌮✨ We are officially just getting started at 25750 Ecorse Rd! Come help a young entrepreneur build something special in Taylor. Every tag and visit counts! #fyp#local#taylormichigan#viral#youngentrepreneur
Quinones’ story seemed to be the missing ingredient in his success. Not long after his video went viral, his restaurant was flooded with customers, and he has even sold out several times. As he adjusts to the increased demand, he hopes to remedy that soon. He is also now considering expanding the business, including opening additional locations and launching food trucks. Not bad, considering the restaurant was about to close its doors just days earlier.
Of course, it wasn’t just Quinones’ virality that made him successful. People who have visited the restaurant remark on the quality of his food.
“I just ordered catering from Detroit Loves Tacos last week for a lunch meeting at work! The corn was top notch and the beans were amazing with the big chunks of onion! We also got ground beef, chicken, and vegetarian tacos. The rice was so good too. Everyone was raving about how good it was,” one commenter wrote.
Another said, “10/10!! Hands down the best birria tacos we’ve ever had.”
This is TikTok used for good. A struggling business had something real to offer, just no visibility. The platform changed that. And bam, the community showed up, because it feels good to support someone’s dream. Sometimes, it really is that simple.
Started with a dream, a whole lot of faith, and days where I didn’t know if it would all work out… but I kept going. Seeing this on the news isn’t just a moment to it’s everything I’ve prayed and worked for. This is for everyone who believed in me, supported me, and showed love from day one. And for anyone chasing something… don’t stop. It’s coming. ❤️ More to come… this is just the beginning. 📍 25750 Ecorse Rd 🕒 Mon–Fri 11–8 | Sat 12:30–8 📲 313-633-1905 🚗 Available on DoorDash. #fyp#local#viral#taylormichigan#YoungEntrepreneur
For business owners, the thought of posting on social media can feel awkward, burdensome, and, at times, impossible to navigate in a way that feels worthwhile. But Quinones’ triumph is a welcome reminder that when it comes to finding your audience, a little authenticity really does go a long way.
People are praising two London bartenders for how they navigated a situation at their bar that raised some red flags, despite a plot twist that changed the whole scenario. In a video shared by Sam Finch, a woman ordered a gin and tonic. Soon a man approached and started dancing up on her. Finch observed that she was “not vibing with it.”
The guy kept dancing in her face, and she pushed him away with her hand. Finch asked her if she was okay, and she gave him a thumbs up. Still, he felt the situation was weird because the guy would not take a hint.
Finch consulted with his fellow bartender: “Do you think she knows this guy?”
But they kept observing and consulting with one another about whether the woman was really okay. As the man’s behavior continued, the bartenders decided to check in more directly with the woman. They asked her if she knew the man, and when he stepped forward, they firmly asked him whether the two knew each other.
The man responded in the most unexpected way: “She’s my sister.”
The bartenders burst out laughing as the reality hit them.
“You guys thought I was a creep?!” the man said.
“OMG yes, he’s my brother!” the woman corroborated. “You were going to kick him out, weren’t you?”
“Yeah, literally,” the bartenders responded as they all had a good laugh over the misunderstanding.
People appreciated seeing the scene play out for the humor in it, of course. A man annoying his sister being mistaken for a man being a creep? That’s pretty darn funny. But people also loved seeing such a good example these bartenders set for making sure someone was safe.
The commenters loved how the bartenders responded
“I think I can speak for all women when I say: Thank you, and please keep doing this. This time it made everyone laugh at the end, but there will be many times when we’ll be really grateful that we don’t have to fight alone. No need to apologize for checking in. This is how men should be! You’re great.”
“From the bottom of my heart, thank you for checking.”
“I’m certain they BOTH appreciated you all checking on her.”
“I’d rather you ask and be wrong than assume and be wrong.”
“Please don’t ever stop checking in these moments. I’m so glad this time it was a laugh!”
“Never stop noticing! Once a bartender saved one of my besties because he noticed a bad situation, thanks guyss.”
“Better to ask and have a funny ending than to not ask and wish you had. Well done gentlemen.”
As a guy who has intervened to protect a young woman from a creepy, aggressive guy… this is very good to see.
Hopefully, this encourages/inspires other young men to stand up for strangers in need – women or otherwise. https://t.co/51LTMkob5n
We see this scenario all too often: A man approaches a woman in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable, and she can’t easily get away. But the way these bartenders handled it was great. They were aware. They observed. They asked if she was okay. They kept observing even after she indicated she was, and they intervened when they were still unsure. Bravo.
Safety is a communal responsibility, and it was reassuring to see these two young men take it seriously. If we all look out for one another and speak up when we’re unsure if someone’s okay, the world will be a much safer place for everyone.
Ever wake up in the morning unsure of what you want to get out of the day? One day rolls into the next, and it’s easy to lose track of time and go on through our daily routines without any real purpose. That’s why, if we want to achieve our dreams and live the best life possible, it’s important to have a clear idea of what we’re working towards and to affirm it every morning.
Dr. Cindra Kamphoff, a certified mental performance coach who has worked with the Minnesota Vikings, USA Track & Field, and several Fortune 100 and 500 companies, created a 4-minute practice you can do every morning to have a successful day. She calls it the GRIT morning routine. “This simple GRIT routine gets my day started on the right foot!” she wrote on LinkedIn.
How to start your day using Dr. Cindra Kamphoff’s GRIT morning routine
To perform the GRIT routine, Kamphoff says that you should focus for one minute on each of the following:
1. Gratitude
“For one minute, remind yourself what you’re grateful for, the good things and the tough things,” she said in a YouTube video. Kamphoff told CNBC to envision a highlight reel of everything that has shaped your path. Think about the people you love, the blessings you’ve had in life, and the challenges that you’ve overcome to be the person you are today.
Gratitude is extremely important because it’s at the root of living a satisfied life. If you don’t appreciate the things you have in life, then it’s almost like not having them at all. A 2024 Harvard study found that gratitude is associated with greater emotional well-being, lower risk of depression, better sleep and heart health, and may even extend people’s lives.
“R is remember your purpose, or your ‘why.’ For one minute, remember and remind yourself why you do what you do,” Kamphoff says. If you haven’t found a specific purpose yet, that’s okay. Your purpose can be as lofty as creating a great movement that changes the world or as small as learning to be 1% kinder every day. Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, says that finding purpose may feel overwhelming, so it’s best to boil it down to a simple question: “What can I do with my time that is important?”
“For one minute, state at least three intentions. These are the ways you want to show up today, less about what you want to do but who you want to be,” Kamphoff says. She says to consider “who you want to be” and how you “want to show up” in the world, whether at home or at the office. Some examples include: “I will be a more patient parent” or “I will do everything in my power to avoid being distracted.”
4. Talk to yourself powerfully
“The last step is T, which is to talk to yourself powerfully. For one minute, tell yourself who you really are,” she says. She suggests that people talk to themselves with statements that include “I will,” “I can,” or “I am,” she told CNBC. If you are going to a job as a teacher, tell yourself, “I am the best teacher these kids have ever had,” or if you have a mile-long to-do list, tell yourself, “I can accomplish everything on my list and more.”
As the great Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Every morning, we begin our own journey, and the most important thing is to take that step in the right direction. With the GRIT morning ritual, hopefully, finding that direction and staying on the path is a lot easier.
It’s not always easy for teachers to come up with cohesive, compelling ways to teach their students even basic concepts. But something as abstract and dense as, say, the Circle of Fifths? Good luck!
And yet, a teacher named Benjamin Kapilow was undoubtedly up to the task.
What is the Circle of Fifths?
The Circle of Fifths visually organizes the twelve chromatic pitches in Western music into a visual, clock-like diagram. Understanding this diagram helps explain how virtually all musical elements are organized and connected. So, having mastery of it enables musicians to sight-read, aka translate sheet music, instantly.
However, music students are often instructed to simply memorize the Circle of Fifths without getting to learn how it applies to an instrument or singing, making it feel like a random assortment of conceptual ideas rather than a tool.
That’s where the “Circle of Fifths” song comes in.
In a now-viral video shared to Instagram, we see Kaplow’s entire music class grooving to a song he wrote himself to give them hands-on learning of the sight-reading concepts he had introduced earlier that week: including solfege patterns (you might know them as “do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti”) in minor syncopated rhythms, wherein accents are placed between counts instead of the strong downbeats, which gives a song a bouncy feel.
Beyond the impressive craftsmanship, what’s so endearing about this (that many viewers appreciated) is that Kaiplow had a clear “vision” for each of his students during this performance, assigning certain solos and lines to just the right person. Still, it was clearly a collaborative effort.
“I love that the teacher clearly knew their students and gave each student the line they thought they’d eat the hardest,” one person aptly put.
Another joked, “Is y’all’s teacher Lin-Manuel Miranda?”
And for those of us who still have no idea what’s going on but dig the tune, you’re not alone.
“Still don’t understand the circle of fifths, but this slaps lmao,” commented one person.
Creating DIY lesson plan songs is something Kapilow regularly does for his class because it’s fun, ensures no one knows the song already, and can readily test students’ sight-reading skills.
“Then I can target what they need to work on in the song,” he told Upworthy, adding that, technically, “Circle of Fifths” just shows up in the lyrics, since the actual lesson about it will happen later in the semester.
These days, we hear a lot about how hard it is to keep students engaged in the classroom. But then you see something like this, and it makes you remember that fun and novelty remain tried-and-true teaching tools. Bless the teachers who pour their creative juices into their curriculum and really infuse joy into what they teach.
German engineer Karl Benz is generally credited with inventing the modern car, patenting his three-wheeled “Benz Patent-Motorwagen” on January 29, 1886. However, not many know that his wife played a key part in bringing it to the mainstream. She’s also technically the world’s first car thief…before the word “car” even existed.
Bertha Benz was a constant supporter of her husband’s idea: using her dowry to back him financially and even offering her own input to make the contraption more practical. Her input was most impressive, considering women weren’t allowed to formally study engineering at the time.
As the story goes, Bertha could not sit idly by while their invention faded away into obscurity.
So, in the wee hours of August 5, 1888, she set out in secret with her two young sons, Eugen and Richard Benz. She left Karl a note saying that the trio had ventured to her mother’s home, around 60 miles away. She had failed to mention that she’d be using their automobile to get there.
This became not only the world’s first long-distance automobile journey but also a very fruitful field test, during which she encountered several mechanical problems along the way.
Luckily, Bertha was nothing if not resourceful. When a fuel pipe got clogged, she cleared it with a hatpin. She used a garter as insulation material for a frayed ignition lead. When the wooden brakes began to fail, Benz had a cobbler install leather, making the world’s first pair of brake linings. When the automobile ran low on petrol, she even stopped at a pharmacy to purchase a petroleum-based cleaning agent and use that as fuel. This essentially created the world’s first gas station.
Despite these challenges, Bertha made it to her destination twelve hours later. It was only then that she sent Karl a telegram sharing the details of her clandestine excursion. Relieved, Karl urged Bertha to rush the car’s chains back on a freight train to be shown at a car show. Instead, she drove it right back home.
All in all, Bertha’s stunt brought global attention to the Benz Patent-Motorwagen, which led to skyrocketing sales and changed history forever.
And yet, despite her remarkable contributions, she wouldn’t be inducted into the Automotive Hall of Fame until 2016. Meanwhile, Karl was inducted in 1984, a good 32 years before her.
In 2019, Mercedes-Benz released an ad that cinematically imagined what Bertha’s journey must have been like. How she must have appeared like a supernatural being to those who had never seen an automobile, how she surely endured sexist comments, and (perhaps most importantly) how inspiring she might have looked to young girls who witnessed her bravery.
The ad ends with: “She believed in more than a car. She believed in herself,” which feels like a little more than sensational marketing. As Bertha did famously say, “Before me, no automobile existed.”
Even though we don’t hear their stories as often, history is full of women just like Bertha. Women who believed in themselves enough to ignore the odds and change the world forever.
The 2003 film Love Actually is probably best known for its controversial-ish cue card scene, where Andrew Lincoln’s character professes his love for Keira Knightley by silently showing her cue cards, including the famous (or infamous) line, “To me, you are perfect.”
But there’s another scene in the film that doesn’t get nearly the recognition it deserves. It’s well-regarded, but not nearly well-regarded enough.
It’s been over 20 years since the late Alan Rickman broke Emma Thompson’s heart by buying that little office tart a necklace in Love Actually, and some of us still haven’t forgiven him.
With its overlapping love stories set during Christmastime, the film has become a holiday classic, despite some controversy over whether it’s actually any good. Some people love it, some people hate it, but no one can deny that Thompson gives an Oscar-worthy performance in one utterly heart-wrenching scene.
Of the eight “Love Actually” relationships, Harry and Karen (Rickman and Thompson, respectively) is the one that gives the film some serious gravitas. While other characters are pining or shooting their shot with varying levels of success, Harry is having a midlife-crisis affair with a modelesque coworker, while Karen shuffles their children to and fro and keeps Harry’s life running smoothly. We see him lie, we see her start to suspect, but the scene where she opens her Christmas present from Harry (a Joni Mitchell CD, not the necklace she had found hidden in his coat and thought was for her) is when we see Thompson’s acting strengths in full view.
Like, phew.
What’s so striking about the scene, however, is that it’s not dramatic in a typical way. There’s no external conflict—it’s just Thompson excusing herself from the family to process, in secret, what she’s just discovered. We see and feel her heartbreak—it’s so visceral—but that’s not what makes the scene so powerful. Heartbreak happens all the time in movies.
As Thompson explains in a BBC Radio 1 interview, it’s the fact that she can’t react the way she wants that pulls at people’s heartstrings so hard.
“I think it’s just because everybody’s been through something like it,” Thompson says. “What I think really gets to them, though, is that she has to pull herself together. It’s not that she’s upset. That’s, you know, ten a penny. But it’s that she has to pull herself together.”
It’s true. The conflict in the scene is between her wanting to break down and her wanting to keep her family’s Christmas memories happy and intact. She is a devastated wife, but she’s also a devoted mother who doesn’t want to devastate her kids. We feel the tension between those two roles and the way she swallows up her grief in order to get her kids to their holiday concert right after finding out her marriage isn’t what she thought it was.
When you think about it, it’s incredibly poignant. And though not everyone loves the film, it’s moments like this one that have helped it stand the test of time and stay on many people’s holiday watch-list.
“I think it’s to do with the fact that we’re required in our lives to repress the things that we’re feeling,” Thompson explained on TODAY. “So, you can be hit right between the eyes with some terrible piece of news, but you can’t react immediately because you’ve got your children there. It’s that thing of not showing — that’s why it hurts. That’s why it moves us.”
“If she went, ‘Oh my God! I thought you were going to give me a necklace! And now you’ve given it to somebody else,’ we would not be moved, you know?” she continued. “We’re moved because she just goes, ‘I’m not gonna do it.’ And then she makes the bed, the bed that sort of suddenly feels so empty of meaning. And then she goes down and goes, ‘Hello, everyone! Let’s go.’ That’s why people identify.”
And the way she plays it is perfect. Any actor can cry, but it’s her crying while trying not to cry, and the way she shows us her inner emotional turmoil without ever saying a single word is impressive.
If you’ve never seen “Love Actually” and want to see the Harry and Karen story, here are just their scenes:
Some people have asked whether Harry actually physically cheated or not, but “Love Actually” script editor Emma Freud clarified that he did. “DEFINITELY had an affair,” she wrote on X in 2015. “I begged Richard just to make it a flirtation, but no. The whole way.”
And did Harry and Karen stay together in the end? The film doesn’t really make it clear, but at the screening Freud answered the question: “They stay together but home isn’t as happy as it once was.” Oof. There’s just no non-heartbreaking answer to that question.
This is why we watch films, though, isn’t it? To see our humanity reflected back to us? To feel what the characters feel? To have our hearts broken vicariously so we can have a good cry without going through the actual pain ourselves?
People usually watch rom-coms for the romance, the comedy, and the happy endings, though. So here’s to Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman for giving us one of cinema’s most poignant scenes in one of its most unexpected places.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
A Somali refugee and current resident of Minneapolis, the multimedia artist and activist draws on her lived experiences to create work that explores trauma, displacement, and resilience. But like so many of the guests on Freedom to Thrive, an award-winning podcast produced by the National Immigration Law Center (NILC), Mansour doesn’t want to focus only on trauma; she also wants to celebrate the unexpected beauty she’s found during difficult experiences.
“One of the beautiful things about tragedies is that it activates hearts, and courageous people are born,” she says. For example, Mansour has noticed more Minnesotans than ever are reaching out to help the vulnerable, after the anti-immigrant crackdowns carried out by the Department of Homeland Security. “They are bringing food, they’re bringing extra clothes, they’re walking with people, and it’s just really beautiful.”
Hector Flores, co-founder of the Las Cafeteras and host of Freedom to Thrive, agrees with her. A child of immigrants himself, he has also seen how hope and hardship often live side by side.
Flores comes from a family with mixed status and is highly aware of the challenges immigrants and refugees in his community face, and how they’re affected by people’s misconceptions. “People want to know about trauma all the time, but we’re more than just undocumented,” he says. “We’re artists, singers, creatives … there’s so much richness in the culture.”
At its core, Flores’ comment is exactly what the Freedom to Thrive podcast is all about: Celebrating immigrants as complex, dynamic individuals, and challenging the dominant narrative that too often reduces them to symbols of hardship.
Launched in 2024, Freedom to Thrive explores heritage, resilience, community, and the ways art and comedy can spark social change. Now in its second season, the podcast continues to feature conversations with immigrants, policymakers, artists, musicians, activists, and more. Recent guests have included comedian Mo Amer, Grammy Award-winning singer Lila Downs, and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Viet Thanh Nguyen.
Where the first season focused on individual stories of identity and belonging, Flores says his goal for season two, where he joins as host, is to “take it to the next level” — using storytelling to highlight “the fact that we’re more similar than different.”
One recent podcast episode drives this point home. In December, Flores interviewed Bryan Andrews, a rising country music star and rural Missouri native who frequently uses his platform to speak about issues affecting immigrant families. At the heart of his message and his songwriting, Andrews says, is the idea that small-town Americans and the rest of the country, including immigrants, have more in common than they realize.
“It doesn’t matter where you’re from,” Andrews says on the podcast. “We’re all trying to make a living and we’re tired of getting railroaded by corporate greed or by politicians who don’t care.”
Rural Americans, Andrews says, are often stereotyped as racist and misogynistic but “the overwhelming majority of people in my home town have love in their hearts.” Media stereotypes often amplify differences and divide, he says, but at the end of the day, “we’re all in this together.”
Flores, who was raised in a working-class immigrant neighborhood in East Los Angeles, had similar thoughts. He says he often sees its residents stereotyped as wealthy, consumerist, and status obsessed. “That exists, but that’s not my life, that’s not my community,” he says. Like small-town Americans, people in the city “just want to work hard and take care of their families. We all want the same thing.”
Although the podcast tackles some heavy issues, each episode’s ultimate focus is how personal and collective struggles can be healed through art, driving home a message of hope and resilience:
Mansour’s episode about her experiences in Minnesota is just one of many examples. Flores asks her,
“What gives you hope for the people creating a home here?”
“The love I feel from other Minnesotans. It is trumping any hate we’re experiencing,” she replies.
CTA: Stream all episodes now on the Freedom to ThriveYouTube channel or the website,here.
The podcast has been nominated for a Webby in the “Belonging & Inclusion” category. You can vote for it to win until Thursday, April 16!
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levis Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.
However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.
“Okay, so, here’s the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don’t you come visit us?’ But let’s be honest, Grandma’s house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it’s time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”
So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.
“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.
Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.
The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle.”
Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it’s about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
