If you're not sure what to say to someone who's experienced something horrible, start here.
Every victim should have an Olivia Benson.It's *so* hard to know what to say to a friend, acquaintance, loved one, (... or stranger!), when you learn about something difficult that's happened to them. Here are some easier beginnings to talk about difficult things.
Now, I know a lot of folks watch "Law & Order: SVU" because it's fun, it's entertaining, and it's reliable. That's why I watch it!
But here's something that I was excited to find ... some really great models of how to speak to someone who's experienced a violation that has hurt them: body, soul, or both.
Hidden gems of "SVU." I love it.
"If you keep it locked inside it doesn't go away."
"You told them what he did to you. You confronted him. No one can take that away from you."
"I know that it's hard to imagine right now, but you survived the abuse. You're gonna survive the recovery."
***break for frisson of emotion***
"I understand the shame and the stigma. But keeping the abuse secret doesn't make it go away."
"Hey, listen to me, this is not on you."
"Healing begins when someone bears witness. I SAW you. I believe YOU."
Sometimes the best answer is the simplest, and that's why I decided to end on this note.
Share this with your friend to let them know you believe them. Or just revel in this helpful dialog created by a really cheesy police show! Up to you.