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Joy

They watched their wedding cake crash to the ground. The groom's reaction was perfect.

Oh, she married a good one.

a four-tier wedding cake in soft light.
Carsten Vollrath/Canva

Imagine watching your four-tier wedding cake hitting the ground before you even get a bite.

It's quite common for people to fantasize about their wedding day—the ceremony, the bridal party, the dress, the cake—and some people spend months or even years meticulously planning every detail. People even spend thousands of dollars hiring wedding planners to make sure that the big day stays fully organized and all the moving parts come together without a hitch.

But no matter how well you plan, sometimes things that simply can't be predicted happen. And how you and your beloved handle the hitches and glitches on your wedding day can say a lot.

Especially when that hitch or glitch is something major…like watching the beautiful, four-tier wedding cake—the one you spent time choosing and lots of money creating to share with your wedding guests—come crashing to the ground right in front of you.


That's what happened to one couple who eagerly watched as the caterers who were carrying their wedding cake tripped on their way into the room, sending their cake to an untimely demise in spectacular fashion.

The video, shared by @the.sarik on Instagram, is only about 10 seconds long, but it tells a whole beautiful love story in the reactions of both the groom and the bride.

Watch:

First of all, hope those waiters are OK. But secondly, staying calm and making the most of a bad situation is a huge character plus, and this groom clearly has those qualities in spades. You can see in the bride's face that she knows it, too.

"Her eyes show that she knows she got the right guy," wrote one commenter.

"The way he just called her to eat is just phenomenal," shared another.

"'Cake is still cake.' Yelling at those waiters won't solve anything, but it can ruin their whole lives," wrote another. "They know their mistake, and they can be corrected privately. May the reaction of this man be an inspiration to us all, to care for the feelings of other people more than material things."

"Of all the things that could ruin a wedding day, I'm glad the husband knew this didn't have to be one of them," shared another.

When unpredictable things do happen, it's largely the reaction of the people involved that determines whether they become tragic tales or entertaining stories. If what we saw in the video is any indicator, this couple will be telling their grandkids someday about how the guys carrying their wedding cake tripped and ruined it, and how Grandpa's response won Grandma's heart all over again.


This article originally appeared last year.

Planet

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Family

Mom shares her family's 10-year tradition of ending each day with an hour of silent reading

"This has to be one of the top nervous system regulators out there."

reading routine ,reading for kids, bedtime routine for kids, raising calm kids, parenting
via @1beccapike/Instagram, used with permission

A great way for the whole family to wind down.

Mom and business coach Becca Pike (1beccapike) recently shared a rather unconventional nightly routine that she and her family have been doing over the past decade: reading in silence for one hour.

In a video posted on her Instagram, Pike explained that her house has a hard lights-out curfew of 8 p.m. However, that curfew can be pushed to 9 p.m. if you are reading. It was something she started with her eldest child at seven (now 17), and continued with all four of her kids. Even before her young kids could read, they would still participate in the routine, and “just stare at the pictures” in their books.


The result: a pack of calm booklovers able to sit comfortably in boredom and get great sleep. All this happened by simply not ending the night with the “TV blaring” or “running errands till passing out,” according to Pike. Hence why she claimed "this has to be one of the top nervous system regulators out there."

To say parents were inspired would be an understatement.

“Love this! Trying to cultivate better sleep habits...and this is perfect,” one parent wrote.

Another added, “ Ready to start this with my 5 month old lol”

A few other parents shared their own similar routines.

“We do ‘quiet time’ for an hour before bed - rules are you can do reading, writing or drawing ❤️ it’s so lovely to do these quiet activities together and a calm end to the day.”

“What a beautiful scene! We do something similar, and it’s a great transition to bedtime ❤️”

“Love this - we have a no phones in the bedroom rule and you get an old school alarm clock ⏰”

We generally know how vital boredom is to a child’s development, helping them become more creative, better at problem-solving, more emotionally resilient, and yet, our modern world makes that unstructured time harder and harder to come by.

The truth is, relaxation only comes if one intentionally carves out time for it. Pike’s kids are not only getting to learn this firsthand, but because she herself participates. They see this kind of healthy behavior modeled by an adult, which also helps the habit stick.

There are other kid-friendly, screen-free activities—like enjoying a warm bath, listening to soft music, doing gentle stretches—that can also be effective at inspiring a sense of calm before bed, so long as they’re done consistently.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

But what’s particularly cool about this reading routine is that it can be enjoyed both as a solo activity and as a shared family experience with shared benefits. Adults are in equal need of a respite from the screens, chores, and last-minute to-dos. This simple, predictable ritual offers a shared pause button where everybody wins. Kids get a sense of autonomy (“stay up later if you read”) while parents still reinforce boundaries and rest. And for both parties, reading is reframed as a cozy privilege rather than a chore.

When modern life moves relentlessly fast and demands constant stimulation, an hour of collective quiet might be one of the most generous gifts a family can give itself.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

Sustainability

A new school for girls in India stays cool in 120 degree desert heat without air conditioning

The award-winning structure is a huge step forward for sustainable design.

schools, india, desert, architecture, buildings, design, sustainable design, sustainable architecture, women, girls
Mike Rowe/Flickr & Canva Photos
Revolutionary school building stays cool even in 120 degree desert heat—with no air conditioning

Michael Daube, founder of the nonprofit CITTA, wanted to bring a school for girls to one of the most rural and conservative parts of India. In the region known as Rajasthan, the literacy rate for women was among the lowest in the country. There were few to no opportunities for girls to learn, and, for many, the only path in life was marriage.

There was just one problem with the plan: the rural desert community called Jaisalmer had almost no infrastructure to support a building that would meet the potential students' needs, and the nearest city was 40km away. Further complicating things, it would be challenging to build a low-tech outside venue for kids to learn in because of sweltering desert temperatures that routinely reach over 120 degrees Fahrenheit.


Luckily, architect Diana Kellogg was up to the challenge.

"I was so struck by Jaisalmer, the beauty of the place and how difficult it is to build in the climate," she told Stir World. "There was something very captivating about Jaisalmer and I also learned more about the situation of women and girls in that area. I was affirmed by the fact that education is better not just for individuals, but for the society as a whole. It changes the whole dynamic in societies."

She worked closely with the community to design the school, The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School, in a way that would empower women, give girls a safe place to learn, and stand up to the desert heat.

What's incredible is that the school building is able to stay relatively cool with no air conditioning even in the 120 degree heat using both ancient and local techniques:

  • Locally sourced sandstone gives the building its golden color and helps keep heat out of the interiors
  • Lining the inner walls with a material called lime plaster reduces humidity
  • A courtyard, which is customary in India, provides shade at many times throughout the day and can also be covered by a canopy
  • A jali wall—a grid-like structure—allows air to accelerate into the courtyard creating a breeze
  • High ceilings with window vents encourage hot air to escape
  • The elliptical shape of the building encourages air flow and allows high desert winds to flow around the structure

These techniques miraculously allow the indoor spaces to remain about 20-30 degrees cooler than the outside temperature.

- YouTube youtu.be

The school building is also completely solar and wind powered, while a water harvesting system helps recycle the school's graywater and harvest fresh rainwater.

Not only does the sustainable building look and feel like an extension of its desert surroundings, it uses building techniques, materials, and technology that the girls in the region are familiar with. It's all designed to help them feel safe and unencumbered in their learning.

There are plans to expand the school in the near future, adding more buildings that will support a women's cooperative, a marketplace, a library, museum, and an exhibition space that will serve the extremely remote and rural community.

- YouTube youtu.be

Kellogg and CITTA hope that the school can become a blueprint for more just like it around the world.

School is something many kids and families take for granted as a part of their communities, but there are plenty of areas like Jaisalmer where lack of infrastructure, poverty, and gender inequality keep kids from educational opportunities. In 2015, Global Citizen estimated about 60 million kids worldwide do not have access to a formal education. The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School is a wonder of modern architecture, but it also proves that it is possible through creative engineering to bring safe educational spaces to kids no matter where they live.

The building also won several architecture awards, including a prestigious recognition in the 2023 AIA Architecture Awards. It all helps get the word out.

"The comments that have come in are heart-warming. The girls find the space to be free and comfortable," Kellogg told Stir World. In a 2023 interview with CNN, she added that she's already seen a difference in the local girls who have attended school in the building she designed.

"[I've seen] the change in the girls, from being quite shy to being these bright lights that are devouring whatever kind of information you put in front of them."

Joy

Thomas Jefferson coined a hip and funny phrase for abrupt goodbyes that still holds up today

A great phrase for when you've just gotta leave without explanation.

thomas jefferson, goodbye, name is haines, woman waving, us history

Thomas Jefferson and a woman waving.

"Irish goodbye" is a term for when someone slips out of an event without telling anyone, avoiding the awkwardness of announcing their departure. (Though the Irish didn't necessarily invent the phenomenon.) But what do we call it when someone decides to turn tail and leave a situation immediately, without any explanation at all? These days, there doesn't seem to be a name for a sudden, unexpected exit. Back in the 1800s, however, there was one, courtesy of the third president, Thomas Jefferson.

The phrase: "My name is Haines."


This may sound a bit strange, but it all stems from an unusual interaction Jefferson had while in office with a member of the opposition party. According to Monticello.org, The Weekly Picayune originally published the story in New Orleans on February 17, 1840.

The story behind "My name is Haines"

In 1805, during his second term as president, Jefferson was riding near Monticello, his Virginia residence, when he struck up a conversation with another man on the road. Amusingly, the man had no idea who he was speaking to, and as a rank-and-file member of the Federalist Party, which opposed Jefferson's Democratic-Republican Party, he had plenty of harsh words for the president.

monticello, thomas jefferson, jefferson house, virginia, famous houses Thomas Jefferson's Monticello.via Martin Falbisoner/Wikimedia Commons

The Weekly Picayune wrote:

"Haines took particular pains to abuse Mr. Jefferson; called him all kinds of hard names, ran down every measure of his administration, poked the non-intercourse and embargo acts at him as most outrageous and ruinous, ridiculed his gun-boat system as preposterous and nonsensical, opposed his purchase of Louisiana as a wild scheme — in short, took up every leading feature of the politics of the day, and descanted upon them and their originator with the greatest bitterness."

Jefferson simply listened, neither in the mood to argue nor to reveal his identity. When the two arrived at Jefferson's home, the president invited the man inside for refreshments. At one point, the visitor asked the president for his name. Here is how it was reported in The Weekly Picayune:

"Jefferson," said the President, blandly.

"The [devil]! What, Thomas Jefferson?"

"Yes sir, Thomas Jefferson."

"President Thomas Jefferson?" continued the astonished Federalist.

"The same," rejoined Mr. Jefferson.

"Well, my name is Haines!" and putting spurs to his horse, he was out of hearing instantly.

jefferson memorial, tidal basin, washington d.c., historical monuments, american history The Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.via Joe Ravi/Wikimedia Commons

Why did Haines ride off so quickly?

There are many reasons Haines may have decided to bail on the president so abruptly. He was likely embarrassed after bad-mouthing the president to his face and may not have wanted to risk any reprisal for his harsh words. And as someone who harbored deep ill will toward the president, he probably had no interest in entertaining his company. Regardless, "My name is Haines" became a popular phrase after appearing in The Weekly Picayune , and it was used whenever someone wanted to leave a situation suddenly and without explanation.

The phrase would be used until around the Civil War, but by the beginning of the 20th century, it, too, had said goodbye. It faded away rather than vanishing in an instant, as Mr. Haines famously did.