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Joy

17 people reveal the most 'wholesome secret' they've never told anyone before

"Instead of a dark one, what wholesome secret are you hiding?”

secrets, ask reddit, wholesome stories
via Pexels

Some people's secrets are dark, others are wholesome.

There’s an old adage you’ll often hear in recovery groups:

“We’re only as sick as our secrets.”

The phrase means that a secret kept in the dark grows and becomes more harmful, but when it is exposed in the light of day, its power is lost.

However, that saying only refers to the dark secrets we keep. What about the nice things we do for others without ever telling anyone? When we hold onto the positive things we’ve done for others does it make us happier because we did something without ever asking for credit?

Does doing good things in secret lead to a positive cycle of doing more and more good?


A Reddit user named @Toadsaged posed a question to the AskReddit subforum that was a bit of a departure from the usual conversation. People frequently ask people to reveal their darkest secrets on Reddit. But for a change of pace, @Toadsaged asked people to share the good things they’ve done without telling anyone.

“Instead of a dark one, what wholesome secret are you hiding?” @Toadsaged asked.

A lot of the responses were people sharing how they have anonymously helped friends, family members and neighbors who have fallen on hard times but may be too proud to ask for help. The responses are great because they show creative ways that people can help one another without making it known.

It’s also a reminder that there are a lot of people out there doing nice things that we never hear about.

Here are 17 of the best wholesome secrets that people have been hiding.

1.

"My stepmother doesn't know she's going to spend the rest of her life living with my family because I feel a sense of duty to her. My dad wasn't the best to her, and he drank himself to death immediately after a quadruple bypass. She never got to have kids because he had a vasectomy after I was born, and the reversal didn't work. The life insurance policy I guilted my dad into getting was only 50k, and it's gone. My brother completely rejected her as a mother. She's so happy when she's with my kids. And a disappointing life has taken its toll on her. I want her final years to be easy and happy, to feel like she has a family that is not ruled by alcohol." — @TheQuietType84

2.

"Every time my grandmother gave me money or paid me for doing her a favor, I always slipped the money back into her purse or hid it in her house when she wasn't paying attention. Sometimes when I had no choice but to leave with it, I'd trade it for smaller bills and hide it the next time I visited. She never knew. There were a lot of times we'd be talking over the phone or something and she'd get excited because she found money. It's nothing special, but it's something that makes me happy. And I know she's happy giving money when she can so it's a win-win! Y'all better not tell her either!" — @clumsyally423

3.

"I worked at a KFC for maybe 3 weeks back in 2005. I came out the back door one night after closing the place down to find several homeless guys huddled around the dumpster, digging through it to find the excess food we’d thrown out. That was some haunting shit… so for the rest of the short time I worked there, our excess food didn’t go in the dumpster. I just left it on the back step. Fucking Colonel Sanders could afford to take the hit so those poor bastards could eat a halfway decent meal without having to dig through garbage for it." — @risenphoenixkai

4.

"Someone close to me is too proud to accept my help so they go to a food pantry. So, I donate their favorite foods to the pantry so it stays stocked with the foods they prefer." — @Glum_Lab_3778

5.

"I buy hundreds of pounds of birdseed every year and keep all the bird feeders in the windows of the resident's rooms of our nursing home full. They all love watching the birds and think the facility provides it." — @WakingOwl1

6.

"Where I live, there is a place called the 'Blessing Box' It's a cabinet where people can drop off canned and dry goods to help feed other families. My wife and I hit some hard times financially and had to rely on the Blessing Box to feed ourselves. Made a promise to myself that if I ever came into some extra cash, I would return the blessing.

Later on, I scored a well-paying temp job and was able to catch up on a lot of bills right before Thanksgiving. Remembering the promise I made, I used my next paycheck to fill the Blessing Box to the brim with a variety of canned goods. Everything a family would need for the holiday. A few days later, the Blessing Box was featured on the local news and how an unknown donor provided enough food to feed over a dozen low-income families for the holiday. Wife and I have never told a soul that it was us." — @JQuest7575

7.

"Anytime either of my kids has a school field trip, I anonymously pay for a student that wouldn’t otherwise go due to financial reasons. I was always that kid, sitting in a strange class because my class was off doing something else. It sucked." — @SnoSlider

8.

"I 'lose' cash everywhere. Friends’ places, gently tucked into the booth at restaurants, just on the floor in a public place. I lightly believe in karma, and while it started ironically, I now full-heartedly believe that when I 'lose' a few bucks here and there, then that money goes to the person who needs/deserves it. It’s one of the few things I have thought of that has little to no chance of being caught for it. I also do the same with myself. I intentionally 'forget' cash in my jacket pockets, then it’s a nice surprise later in life." — @reynosomarkus

9.

"I got a girl in my class who was my friend a Valentine's card who never got any attention from guys. I never liked her in that way but wanted her to be happy. No joke she seemed to develop more confidence from that day and got a boyfriend a year later then got married a bit after that and is really happy.

I even heard her talking about it one day in a group setting and how happy it made her, and I had to stay really quiet because I wanted it to stay special for her." — @GroundbreakingMud537

10.

"I finished cancer treatments last spring and my work was extremely generous financially throughout the process. A sporting event was used as a fundraiser and I received $1200. Since I was almost done with treatment and bills were caught up, I gave $1000 to a student in my daughter's class who is fighting cancer too. I left it anonymously for her to pick up at school. Her mom posted a thank you on her FB page, but no one knows it was me." — @Puzzled-Mushroom8050

11.

"I often buy my friends tickets to concerts or movies and just say that I happened upon a free ticket and ask if they want to come. I never tell them I bought it just because I want them there and they couldn't afford to go!" — @Fedjito

12.

"I had recently moved into my own apartment in Manhattan after graduating and getting a very nice job on Wall St. Every Friday everyone would go dashing to the bars for Happy Hour but I'd respectfully always decline. I was a volunteer at a hospice home where I'd read, feed or just spend time with the residents there. I had been volunteering there for about 2 years and sadly saw more than a few of the folks I was close to pass away. I still think of the people there though they all must have left our world already since this was a long time ago. I'm certain we'll all meet again one day." — @BoujeeMomme

13.

"I bake food, like banana bread, cookies or brownies for the ups/ mail carriers during the holiday seasons since they’re the real Santas. I leave them in a plastic bags in the mamailboxith a little for the mail carrier/ thank you note, For the UPS people I’ll put it in a basket on our front porch with a similar note." — @DMaddsRads

14.

"I bought a poor kid in my church a left-hander's baseball glove and left it on the pew where his family sits with no note. He has since told me that it is awesome to have since he only had a hand-me-down riright-handernd he throws left. He's being raised by his grandmother who doesn't have a lot of cash and is stubborn about it—if I had left my name, she would have been angry about it and insisted on paying me back." — @KaleidoscopeWeird310


15.

"Whenever I get a raise, bonus, or if I feel like it, I leave an exorbitant tip and leave immediately after so I’m not caught. Oftentimes it’s over 400% of the bill." — @aimstothrive

16.

"I send my kid’s birthday/holiday cards from their grandparents every year. They aren’t involved in their lives but I do it in case one day they may want to be. My kids won’t have any ill feelings towards them." — @morganripley669

17.

"Every Christmas I leave a card with money in it and some gifts at the door of a single elderly woman living alone. I know she struggles financially and must be lonely. I like to think of her feeling like she has a Christmas miracle happening to her once a year." — @blacktransampinkguy

Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!


This article originally appeared last year.

Mr. Syrie's approach reframes classroom "rules."

If you've ever been around a group of 20 or 30 kids or teens, try to imagine getting them all to pay attention and stay focused for longer than 5 minutes. There's no doubt that wrangling a classroom of kids is a formidable feat at any age. Getting a group of learners to be engaged, attentive and reasonably courteous is the goal, but managing diverse personalities from various backgrounds and home environments and who have different standards and expectations of behavior isn't easy.

Some teachers take the old-school "law and order" approach to classroom management. They lay out a list of rules everyone is supposed to follow, and those who don't fall in line face consequences of some sort. But high school Language Arts teacher Monte Syrie takes a different tack—one that sees students as valued citizens of a community instead of young people to be controlled.

Syrie, who has been teaching for more than two decades, says he's always striving to make the school year better than the last one. That means regularly reflecting and reevaluating how he communicates with his students, which is how he went from standard classroom rules to reframing them as "Policies and Procedures" to tossing out the concept of "rules" altogether.

Now he offers 4 R's—Roles, Routines, Rights and Responsibilities—as a framework for classroom management.

"I think teachers are framers. We frame the room. We frame the work. We frame the day. We frame the year. We frame the entire experience–whether we want to or not," Syrie shares. "The kids look to us for the frame. What we do–or don’t do–decides the day. And, man oh man, is there pressure in that. But, there’s also possibility–powerful possibility."

teaching, classroom, students, classroom rules, education Students working on an assignment.Photo credit: Canva

Syrie explains in his book about teaching that kids respond differently when teachers frame things differently, and being greeted with classroom rules on day one evokes a specific response in kids.

"We seem to believe if we don’t get rules in front of the kids immediately, we will never get the kids where we want them," he writes. "I don’t believe in this anymore. I did, I suppose, at one point, but at this point, I believed there was a better way to 'get kids.'"

Syrie decided to reframe his classroom policies as as Roles that let kids see themselves through various lenses, Routines that tell them what to expect, Rights that give them individual autonomy and Responsibilities that help them contribute to a shared community.

teaching, classroom, students, classroom rules, education A sense of community is important in a classroom.Photo credit: Canva

So what does that look like?

Roles in Syrie's classroom include the roles of Yourself (the most important role, he says), Valued Community Member, Reader, Writer, Mistake Maker, and Reflector. He explains to the students what each of these roles entails and why it's important for kids to take them on.

Routines include daily and weekly activities such as starting class with a community check-in called Smiles and Frowns and ending class with Journey Journaling. Each day of the week also has a specific focus, such as writing, reading or grammar.

Rights include things like, "I have the right to feel safe," "I have the right to learn," and "I have the right to ask as many questions as l want." Syrie also gives students the right to eat and drink in class and the right to make mistakes without fear of penalty.

teaching, classroom, students, classroom rules, education Monte Syrie talks to a student in one of his classes.Photo courtesy of Monte Syrie

As for Responsibilities, students have a responsibility to get to class on time, know and honor the class routines, self-regulate use of electronic devices in the classroom, be a great listener, self-regulate leaving the room, take ownership of their learning, and be sensitive and respectful of others' viewpoints, among other things. Students are expected to do their best to fulfill these responsibilities and to handle any breaches (such as being late to class) with courtesy and minimal disruption to the rest of the class. If they are struggling with any of these responsibilities, interventions include reminder(s), conversation(s), parent contact, and as a last and unlikely resort, office referral.

The beauty of Syrie's four R's is that they demonstrate a sense of trust in students right off the bat, helping them see themselves both as responsible individuals and as valued parts of a communal whole. When people feel trusted and valued and are empowered by a clear balance of rights and responsibilities, most tend to rise to the occasion—even when they're in high school. That's not to say that this framing eliminates all classroom management issues, but it's a framework that encourages character development from within the students rather than exerting control from the top down. They'll be able to take this framing through their whole educational career and beyond.

teaching, classroom, students, classroom rules, education Students will take their classroom experiences with them throughout life.Photo credit: Canva

A fellow educator wrote on X, "Love this in so many ways! In these times, this answers 'how can we help learners understand the principles of a democracy?'" Imagine if we all reflected more on our roles, routines, rights and responsibilities as citizens rather than just memorizing the laws we are obliged to follow. Perhaps Mr. Syrie's rethinking and reframing of the educational experience can help us all consider a new framing for our own lives as individuals and community members as well.

You can follow Monte Syrie on X and find his book, "better: A Teacher's Journey: Project 180 Book One," here.

Popular

Millennial dad of 3 shuts down boomer parents for their 'ridiculous' holiday expectations

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

A Millennial dad has had it with his boomer dad's expectations.

A TikTok video posted by @carrerasfam is going viral, with over 300,000 views, because so many millennial parents can relate. In the video, a husband politely but firmly tells his “practically retired” baby boomer dad that he’s not taking his 3 young kids on a 400-mile drive to their house for the holidays.

Carerras Fam is a popular TikTok page about “all things postpartum and mamahood.” The husband opens the conversation with his dad by explaining all the inconveniences of taking 3 young kids on a long road trip. “I know you want us to drive down for the holidays, but it's kinda ridiculous that you want me to pack my 3 kids with their portable beds with my clothes, their clothes, the formula, everything that goes on with raising 3 kids and having them feel comfortable. Drive down for over four hours just so that we could spend some time in your house?” the husband says.

@carrerasfam

Sorry it’s just so much work. But you’re welcome to visit us #millennial #millennials #parents #parenting #parentsontiktok #boomers #millennials

It’s obviously inconvenient for the couple to pack up their kids and drive 4 hours, but it’s also unsafe because the house is not baby-proof. "I'm gonna have to run around, make sure that they don't break any of your stuff, and which you will take care of them,” the husband continues using sarcastic air quotes.

The dad brings up another great point: His parents are in good health, so why don’t they drive to their house? “You could visit. You don't have little kids,” the dad continues. “You don't have anything going on.

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

It’s clear from the phone call the dad understands that traveling with the kids and staying in a house that isn’t correctly set up for young kids will make the holiday a struggle. Instead of making memories, they’ll most likely be running around bent over trying to save their kids from breaking something or hanging out at Target buying electrical socket plugs and a bottle brush because they left theirs at home.



The video struck a chord with many millennial parents.

“First holiday with a kid… parents are confused why I won’t drive 9 hours with a 3mnth old for Christmas,” too_many_catz writes. “The ‘not baby proofed’ part hit my soullllllll. It’s so stressful having to chase your kids around and ask to close doors, move pictures, block stairs, etc. And nobody takes you seriously!" OhHeyItsIndy added.

It’s also expensive for young families to travel. “Add to it they want us to spend money on gas, airfare, etc. when we live paycheck to paycheck and rent while they own homes and live comfortably off a pension,” another user wrote.

This one hit hard: “They always act like you're asking the world of them, yet they will willingly go on any other vacation that they choose,” Mackenzie Byrne wrote.

TX Travel Chick may have hit the nail on the head with her explanation for why boomer parents expect their children to road trip it to their house for the holidays. “Because we are used to following their orders!!! REVOLT,” she wrote.

Ultimately, it would be interesting to learn why boomer parents want to inconvenience their kids when it would be much easier for them to take a trip to see them, especially if they can afford a hotel. One wonders if they are being entitled or if they’ve forgotten how hard it is to travel with young kids.

This article originally appeared last year.

Paul Scanlon shares his thoughts.

Racist jokes are one of the more frustrating manifestations of racism. Jokes in general are meant to be a shared experience, a connection over a mutual sense of humor, a rush of feel-good chemicals that bond us to those around us through laughter.

So when you mix jokes with racism, the result is that racism becomes something light and fun, as opposed to the horrendous bane that it really is.

The harm done with racist humor isn't just the emotional hurt they can cause. When a group of white people shares jokes at the expense of a marginalized or oppressed racial group, the power of white supremacy is actually reinforced—not only because of the "punching down" nature of such humor, but because of the group dynamics that work in favor of maintaining the status quo.

British author and motivational speaker Paul Scanlon shared a story about interrupting a racist joke at a table of white people at an event in the U.S, and the lessons he drew from it illustrate this idea beautifully. Watch:

Speaking up in a group setting where people have an unspoken sense of solidarity is difficult. Giving up social capital and being seen as a breaking a code of sorts is uncomfortable. But that difficulty and discomfort are not excuses for staying quiet. As Scanlon points out, our silence is not benign, it's malignant. Keeping quiet while a racist joke is being told and laughed at is harmful because it allows racism to go unchecked and white supremacy to remain secure.

racism, white supremacy, white solidarity, racial justice, anti-racism Anti-racist protest signs.Canva Photos.

An important point Scanlon makes is that not only do white folks allow harm to take place when we remain silent in the face of a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance making a racist joke, but we are actually rewarded for saying nothing. We maintain a sense of solidarity, we gain social capital, we're seen as agreeable and establish a sense of belonging. Those rewards are an insidious form of racism that many white people aren't even aware we participate in.

We have to decide ahead of time that we're going to give up that reward and embrace the inevitable awkwardness in order to do the right thing.

In a useful video based on her book Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity, Professor Emerita of Communications and Vice Chancellor for Diversity and Inclusion at the University of Colorado Denver, Brenda J. Allen, PhD, breaks down how each of us can use our privilege—whether that's white privilege, gender privilege, financial privilege, education privilege, etc.—for the good of others. Watch:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

We have to decide that ending racism is more important than embarrassment. The more people who stand firm in that decision, the less awkward it will become and the sooner we can redefine what social capital and solidarity really mean.

This article originally appeared on 6.30.20. It has been updated.

Pets

A meteorologist's cat crashed his at-home forecast and became his beloved co-host

Betty the Weathercat brought smiles and comfort to millions during the pandemic.

Jeff Lyons 14 News/Facebook

A meteorologist's cat bombed his at-home forecast and became his beloved co-host.

2020 was a weird one. While we were all doing our best to stay safe during a global pandemic, institutions that had been in our lives for decades were forced to evolve. School was hosted virtually, restaurants got rid of paper menus, and even the news was being broadcast from living rooms and home offices all over the country.

During the early days of the COVID-19 lockdowns, Indiana's 14 First Alert Chief Meteorologist Jeff Lyons set up a green screen in his living room and gave weather forecasts from home during the lockdown. Soon, he gained a surprising costar.

Although Lyons was used to broadcasting alone, he quickly gained a new partner to share the weather with—his cat, Betty.

Betty made her debut when she wanted some attention during a weather broadcast. Lyons picked up the fluffy feline and cradled her in his arms while he talked about the weather. The response was so great, the station shared a little behind-the-scenes green screen fun with Betty and the clip that ended up airing on television.

Over a million people watched the clip in April of 2020, with Lyons' forecast reaching far, far beyond his usual Indiana audience.


"I vote for all future weather reports to have Betty in them" one commenter on Facebook wrote.

"My new favorite weather guy.... and I don't even live anywhere near the area (from NJ) but how can anyone not love Betty" another added.

Betty soon became a regular on Lyons' television appearances. Sometimes, she'd just hang out and watch her human do his professional human thing.

However, like all cats, Betty didn't always like to perform when requested. (Like how they only want to sit on your lap when you're trying to work. Cats gonna be cats.)



People fell in love with Betty's cameos in Lyons' from-home forecasts. Viewers started sharing photos of their own cats on Lyons' Facebook page, and fans began tuning in from around the world to see Betty being Betty.

Pets were such a huge piece of everyone's lives during the pandemic, as people found themselves spending more time at home and less time with other living, breathing beings. Lyons' relationship with his cat personified the connection we all craved at the time, and it made people feel a little less lonely.

Sadly, Betty the Weathercat, as she came to be known, passed away in 2023. Viewers were heartbroken:


"We will love and remember Betty forever. She brought such brightness into the Covid gloom…appropriate for a Weather Cat!" wrote a viewer on instagram.

"Her onscreen joy lives on. Rest well beautiful girl" said another.

"She was quite the personality & your stories of her were such fun. Wow, 16 years is a great life. Thank you for sharing her," someone added.

Betty had been with these viewers through one of the darkest times in many of their lives, so saying goodbye wasn't easy.

But Lyons has adopted two new cats since (Bobby and Cissy), and together, they're doing their best to honor Betty's legacy. Although they don't join Lyons on broadcasts nearly as often.



"Everybody knows I'm a softie ! We couldn't resist this brother and sister team of Bobby (black cat) and Cissy (tuxedo cat) at the Vanderburgh Humane Society ! They are 4 months old orphans who have come to live with us. I'm sure they sense Betty's spirit (and a few furs) around the house," Lyons wrote in a post from December 2023.

To this day, he shares photos and videos of his new Weathercats reacting to heat waves, thunderstorms, and dry spells. Even though Betty is longer with him, she helped propel Lyons to a new level of fame and he will always be known as the Weathercat guy: a role he seems to be more than OK with.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.