Take it from a Gen Xer: midlife regrets are no fun. But what if it were possible to learn from our elders and avoid making the same mistakes? We’ve reached a moment when Gen X (and, frankly, some Millennials) has entered its silver age of wisdom and is ready to pass it on to the next generation.
In a Reddit thread titled “Middle-aged people, what advice would you give a young person to avoid going through a mid-life crisis later in life?” there have been more than 400 responses in less than a week. They range from beautifully earnest to highly practical, with none crossing into judgmental territory. Here are some of the best:
Don’t let others decide what your life should be
“Don’t spend your 20s and 30s becoming someone else’s idea of successful and then wonder at 45 why nothing feels like yours.”
“Try and become what you want to be, rather than what you think you should want to be.”
“This is it. I followed my parents’ idea of a career and success and I’m lost at 40. I should have followed my own path.”
Decisions have consequences
“Every decision you make can have life-altering consequences later on. Watch your diet, exercise, money, and mental health and constantly keep tabs on them and generally speaking, you should avoid most of the common pitfalls.”
“A good way to try to teach yourself these habits is to just make a list of brand new things you’ll do for ten minutes in a day, then track them for a week. So, say, ‘I’ll do ten minutes of walking, ten minutes of writing, and ten minutes of reading.’ At the end of the day, after doing these things, you’ll notice they were easier each time and you even felt like you could go longer in the next session. It just shows how habits are built pretty quickly and doing something only once isn’t pointless because it’s starting a whole new act.”
Reflect and ask questions
“Spend time alone, reflecting on your thoughts. I know, it seems scary. But trust me. Go to a park or some outdoor space where you can be alone. Don’t look at your phone, don’t listen to music, no distractions. Just try to be there in the moment.
Consider and reflect on any thoughts that pop into your head. Good or bad, ask yourself what are the origins of these thoughts and the meaning of them? The point of this exercise is to become more attuned to yourself and your unique life that you may not realize because we rarely give ourselves time to reflect.
Figuring out ‘what you want to be’ requires a deep understanding of yourself, and this comes from spending time reflecting on who you are.”
“The best way to self-reflect is by asking questions:
Why are you unhappy?
What causes you to feel fulfilled?
Where do you want to see yourself in 5, 10, or 20 years from now?
What’s holding you back?
What can you change now?
As you keep digging, you start to notice questions you don’t know the answers to, or try to avoid.
Those are usually the things that you slowly have to work on, maybe with a therapist, a friend, or by yourself to become a better person.”
Someday is now
“Build a life that actually feels like yours—keep growing, take risks you believe in, and don’t postpone living for ‘someday.’”
“Everything you want to do and everything you want to be is just on the other side of embarrassment. Don’t be afraid to be bad at something, we all start somewhere.”
