Right now, we are in a critical moment where more Americans are engaging with the topic of race than ever before.
There is so much work to be done, but people who aren't accustomed to thinking this much about race are struggling to condition themselves. Factor in a global pandemic, economic insecurity, and the stressors of working and schooling from home, and allies are at an increasingly high risk of burnout.
Marginalized and oppressed people need allies to learn to pace themselves. But how?
Upworthy interviewed Tatiana Mac, author of a series of tweets that went viral because she found a way to make a complicated issue coherent and digestible for the masses. She succinctly addressed eight different issues and offers advice, free of charge, for each one.
Tatiana Mac
Mac, a Software Engineer based in Portland, Oregon, describes herself as a "Vietnamese American who has started to unpack my own internalized oppression and simultaneous complicity within white supremacy. I experience racism, but not to the extent that Black folks do."
"I think that, in many ways, it feels like 'white people have entered the chat' on discussions of race," she said. "Panicked and somewhat new to these discussions, it felt like many people were riding the energy and momentum of the movement, but because they were new to these discussions, were flailing and misdirecting their energy.
As with all things in this time and age, I worried that they would go hard for a few weeks, burn out, and we'd go back to letting the status quo dominate." Mac published the tweets to "remind them that this is not a trend, this is not going away, and that if they're interested in being part of the solution, they need to establish long-term strategies and build this work into the fabric of their lives."
Mac isn't alone in these feelings. Norisha Kirts Glover, owner of NRK Construction and President of her local chapter of the Junior League, also thinks we need to be mindful of these efforts. As a Black businesswoman, she is intimately familiar with the racial issues plaguing America. She told Upworthy, "This is a marathon, not a sprint. You cannot fix something that is systemic in a short period of time. Instead of trying to fix this today, I would advise people to spend that energy being thoughtful about where they spend their time working towards systemic change."
Norisha Kirts Glover
Glover says that, typically, people are most effective when they're able to pinpoint and carry out action connected to their work or something they are passionate about. "Remember that even when you start to act, it's about pacing yourself," she said. "I have been fighting this my whole life. Be mindful that the burnout that you are feeling is small in comparison to what people have to endure every day."
Burnout looks different for everyone. Here are a few action items based on Mac's list for avoiding burnout, while trying to change the world:
1. You're asking a lot of questions, which is great! It also means that you're receiving a lot of answers, taking in a lot of information and may be overwhelmed.
Burnout bypass: Remember that you can't learn everything all at once. Make a list. Learn to find the answers yourself before asking. Read multiple sources. Sit with it.
2. Somehow, you ended up in three different book clubs, cramming for what feels like the "anti-racist test."
Burnout bypass: Set monthly recurring reminders to write short reflections on mistakes made and lessons learned. See your own progress. Build Black authors into your life, including reading fiction and non-race-based non-fiction.
Photo by Tim Gouw
3. You're confronting people. It's exhausting.
Burnout bypass: You're fired up about change and that's appropriate. But will you still be actively engaged in a few months, when fewer of your peers are? Evaluate your long-term commitments to this work and set realistic goals. Establish vocabulary to address racism.
4. You're making a lot of mistakes right now and it's embarrassing.
Burnout bypass: You're learning a lot of lessons, so sit with them. A lot of people don't make it this far out of fear of embarrassment, so well done! Now, pass your knowledge along to all the people around you, especially the ones who look like you.
5. You're talking to everyone from Twitter trolls to parents, expending energy everywhere, and much of it is wasted.
Burnout bypass: Write scripts about how to confront racism with colleagues, friends and family. Figure out your boundaries, like when you'll walk away.
According to Mac, working alongside people of color requires willingness to "opt in every day, sitting through immense discomfort, and making some embarrassing mistakes." Because of the emotional toil of this work, setting boundaries and keeping a strong vision can hold allies steady. This undertaking can be daunting, but it's also vital to our future generations. And if everyone does something, the changes will be sustainable.
Turn your everyday actions into acts of good at P&G Good Everyday.
A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
Person says they're more productive and excited when pretending their life is a TV show
"This is the one time that being delusional actually helped me."
Be the main character in your life.
A lot of the time, life can be boring. There's lots of waiting and wondering, and the mundane every-day chores can demotivate you, making you really feel the drudgery of it all. If only life were as interesting as a TV show. Wouldn't that make a big difference? For one person, doing just that changed their attitude and outlook on life for the better.
On Reddit, a poster shared that once they started treating life as if they were on a television show, they started feeling more excited to participate in the everyday and even began accomplishing more. They start each day with an episode title and end the "episode" by going to sleep. They claimed to be more excited each day to "unfold the cliffhanger I had of yesterday's episode," and would look back on their "season" (week) feeling prouder and "cooler" about their life. "This is the one time that being delusional actually helped me."
Many commenters brought up how this reframing of life and other similar tricks worked out for them, too:
“Honestly, same! Sometimes when I’m stuck, I imagine I’m in a movie and the audience is screaming at the screen and I think, what are they yelling at me to do that’s so obvious to them? Helps with indecision or hard decisions.”
“I did this a lot as a kid. It made life feel exciting for sure.”
"Framing your day as an episode is genius because it turns the boring parts into plot development instead of just stuff you have to get through…My show would be a lot of filler episodes where the main character is on the couch with his dog but honestly those are the best episodes of any series anyway.”
“Sometimes, when I need to really lock in at work. I'll put earbuds in, put on some music, and imagine watching myself work like it's a dramatic montage in a movie. I don’t know why but it helps.”
“I started treating cooking like I was hosting a show.”
“I actually love this. It is a clean trick to beat boredom and procrastination. Giving the day a title and a clean ending makes you act like the main character instead of a background extra. I might steal it.”
“I kinda do this, I try to romanticize my life by saying oh I’m just the main character of my movie. I go through the struggles I’m going through only because it's the climax of the movie, and it’ll resolve eventually.”
This isn't the first time someone stumbled upon this type of mind hack. Licensed therapists who spoke to Upworthy weighed in on the mental reframing and discussed its effectiveness.
- YouTube youtube.com
"In many ways, viewing your life as a T.V. show is just a cognitive reframe, which can be helpful when overcoming hurdles," said therapist Jerred England. "On T.V., we expect the main character to face challenges and then overcome them as they reach their goal. In many ways, that's life, too. We don't watch programs where the main character has a victim mentality, is defeated, and then lies around at home for a week. Having a mindset that expects and overcomes challenges can be truly helpful—after all, life hands us plenty of them!"
"Thinking this way can give someone a nudge out of passivity," said narrative therapist Claudia Johnson. "Rather than waiting to feel motivated, they start living 'as if' their choices matter to a bigger arc. That can foster curiosity, openness to new experiences, and tolerance of short-term discomfort."
"It can also provide some psychic distance," Johnson added. "By thinking of your life as a movie during anxious times, rejection or failure feels like part of a plot rather than evidence against your self-worth."
While both therapists said that this reframing can be helpful, it can become harmful if taken too literally.
"Believing you are the main character can lead to performing life instead of being present in it. You start going through life instead of living it by curating experiences that look meaningful on the surface," said Johnson.
"One of the dangers is that you'll start basing your worth on whether you're excited or productive. Real life isn't a movie—it's full of mundane stretches where you're just maintaining the pace," she explained. "These 'everyday' chapters are vital but never make it into the highlight reel."
"I would caution that in T.V., we like to have drama, enemies, and constant challenges. If you find too much of that in your life, you might stay in a bad situation too long," concluded England. "If your friends tell you that your life is a T.V. show, you might consider changing your work or relationships. After all, most of us wouldn't actually like to live in The Truman Show."