Shop
 Explore 

Doctor explains why he checks a dead patient's Facebook before notifying their parents

Louis M. Profeta MD explains why he looks at the Facebook accounts of dead patients before talking their parents.

overdose, Facebook, notifying parents, patients

Photo from Tedx Talk on YouTube.

He checks on your Facebook page.

This article originally appeared on June 5, 2019

Losing a loved one is easily the worst moment you'll face in your life. But it can also affect the doctors who have to break it to a patient's friends and family. Louis M. Profeta MD, an Emergency Physician at St. Vincent Emergency Physicians in Indianapolis, Indiana, recently took to LinkedIn to share the reason he looks at a patient's Facebook page before telling their parents they've passed.

The post, titled "I'll Look at Your Facebook Profile Before I Tell Your Mother You're Dead," has attracted thousands of likes and comments.

"It kind of keeps me human," Profeta starts. "You see, I'm about to change their lives — your mom and dad, that is. In about five minutes, they will never be the same, they will never be happy again."

"Right now, to be honest, you're just a nameless dead body that feels like a wet bag of newspapers that we have been pounding on, sticking IV lines and tubes and needles in, trying desperately to save you. There's no motion, no life, nothing to tell me you once had dreams or aspirations. I owe it to them to learn just a bit about you before I go in."

"Because right now... all I am is mad at you, for what you did to yourself and what you are about to do to them. I know nothing about you. I owe it to your mom to peek inside of your once-living world.”

Dr. Louis Profeta, health, death, doctors

Dr. Profeta talks his experience with the death of a patient.

Photo from Tedx Talk on YouTube.

Profeta explains that the death of a patient makes him angry:

"Maybe you were texting instead of watching the road, or you were drunk when you should have Ubered. Perhaps you snorted heroin or Xanax for the first time or a line of coke, tried meth or popped a Vicodin at the campus party and did a couple shots.”

"Maybe you just rode your bike without a helmet or didn't heed your parents' warning when they asked you not to hang out with that 'friend,' or to be more cautious when coming to a four-way stop. Maybe you just gave up."

"Maybe it was just your time, but chances are... it wasn't."

personalization, trauma, mental health, social media

The facebook app.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Profeta goes on to explain why he checks a patient's Facebook page:

"So I pick up your faded picture of your driver's license and click on my iPhone, flip to Facebook and search your name. Chances are we'll have one mutual friend somewhere. I know a lot of people.”

"I see you wearing the same necklace and earrings that now sit in a specimen cup on the counter, the same ball cap or jacket that has been split open with trauma scissors and pulled under the backboard, the lining stained with blood. Looks like you were wearing it to the U2 concert. I heard it was great."

"I see your smile, how it should be, the color of eyes when they are filled with life, your time on the beach, blowing out candles, Christmas at Grandma's; oh you have a Maltese, too. I see that. I see you standing with your mom and dad in front of the sign to your college. Good, I'll know exactly who they are when I walk into the room. It makes it that much easier for me, one less question I need to ask.”

"You're kind of lucky that you don't have to see it. Dad screaming your name over and over, mom pulling her hair out, curled up on the floor with her hand over her head as if she's trying to protect herself from unseen blows.”

"I check your Facebook page before I tell them you're dead because it reminds me that I am talking about a person, someone they love — it quiets the voice in my head that is screaming at you right now shouting: 'You mother f--ker, how could you do this to them, to people you are supposed to love!'"

— Updated June 5, 2019.

From Your Site Articles

Women working in Africa’s cocoa farms have received business education programs for 15 years. Here’s how that benefits the entire world.

All images provided by CARE & Cargill

The impact of the CARE and Cargill partnership goes beyond empowering cocoa farmers

True

Cocoa, the key ingredient found in your favorite chocolate bar, has been a highly revered food product throughout human history. It’s been used for religious ceremonies in Peru, royal feasts in England and France, traded as currency for the ancient Mayans. And considering that many of us enjoy chocolate on a regular basis (mochas and candy bars, anyone?) it seems like that love is still going strong even today.

And if you are someone who looks forward to that sweet chocolate pick-me-up on a regular basis, you likely have the women of West Africa to thank.

Women like Barbara Sika Larweh, a mother of six who works as a cocoa farmer in Larwehkrom, a community located within the Sefwi Wiawso Municipality in the Western North Region of Ghana.

care, cargill Mama Cash now empowers other women to gain independence

Nearly 60% of the world’s cocoa comes from both Ghana and Côte d’Ivoire, where Barbara and other mothers make up over half of the labor force. These female cocoa farmers shoulder the same physical burden as their male counterparts—all while also running households and paying for their children to go to school. And yet, they typically don’t receive equal income. Nor do they have access to the resources that could help them achieve financial independence.

Thankfully, positive changes are taking place. Barbara’s story exemplifies the impact of programs offered by CARE and Cargill, such as Village Savings and Loan Association (VSLA), which are small groups that offer low-interest loans to individuals living in poverty, helping them to build savings without going into devastating debt.

Through these initiatives, women, like Barbara, are equipped with vital knowledge like financial literacy to improve household incomes, sustainable agriculture practices that improve yields, and nutrition education to diversify their family’s diets.

“They came and trained me on the VSLA. I dedicated myself and volunteered so that I would be able to train my people, too,” Barbara explains.

Within the first year of using the programs, Barbara and the people she trained profited—earning her the nickname of “Mama Cash.”

This is no isolated event. In cocoa-growing communities supported by CARE and Cargill programming between 2019-2022, the number of households living below the national poverty line decreased by nearly 32% in Cote d’Ivoire and Ghana - as a direct result of increasing and diversifying income through using these programs.

Like Barbara, who today is an executive member of the Community Development Committee, more than 2.4 million women have used their success as entrepreneurs to transform into leaders and decision-makers within their communities. Whether it’s giving most of their earnings back to their families, reducing child labor, or exponentially increasing overall farm yields, the rippling effect is profound.

The impact of the CARE and Cargill partnership goes beyond empowering cocoa farmers. The joint initiatives have fostered progress on complex global issues related to social justice, such as gender equality, climate change, and food security. By improving access to quality nutrition, water, and hygiene, the joint programs have positively influenced the cocoa communities’ well-being.

Suddenly there’s a lot more to think about the next time you eat a candy bar.

Find out more about the important partnership between CARE and Cargill here.

From Your Site Articles

Facebook group rallies to reunite members with long lost childhood items

Total strangers helped this woman find her favorite childhood toy

True

Many of us associate connection with social media: connection to the world, to friends and family, and perhaps even to others who share their ideas and hobbies.

Sometimes, that connection can restore old relationships or begin new ones. For Mavis Moon, however, social media is what helped reunite her with a long-lost family member: a blue, stuffed toy dog.

Moon was raised by her grandfather, who struggled with chronic health problems. One day when they were home alone, he suffered a massive heart attack. She immediately dialed 9-1-1, and when the emergency responders who arrived on the scene recognized how traumatized she was after witnessing the event, they consoled her with a blue stuffed dog. Her grandfather eventually recovered, and from that day forward she was never without her dog. He became a member of the family.

The stuffed animal brought her security and comfort. It was such an integral part of her life that her grandfather would carry it around when she couldn’t—he could always be counted on to be in the stands at her basketball games, holding up the dog to cheer for her. That stuffed animal went everywhere she went for years, until one devastating day when she lost him at a local fair.

Keep ReadingShow less

Hawk drops snake on Texas woman, then tries to take it back in real-life horror story

File this under "things you didn't want to know were possible."

NPS/Kurt Moses (Public Domain)

Snakes are prey for hawks, but humans aren't usually involved in the hunt.

You know how sometimes you read a story that seems like it couldn't possibly be true, and when you find out it is, you think, "Yeah, I didn't actually need to know that could happen"?

This is one of those stories. And I'm only a little bit sorry for sharing it because it's also one of those stories where every detail gets more and more incredible (or in this case, worse and so much worse). I mean, it's a real-life story that starts with a snake falling out of the sky, for crying out loud. Cue the horror soundtrack.

Peggy Jones, 64, told Fox 26 Houston that she was driving her riding lawnmower in the yard of her home in Silsbee, Texas, when out of nowhere, a snake landed on her from above. Before she could even wrap her mind around what was happening, the snake coiled itself around her arm and began to strike at her face, repeatedly hitting her glasses.

That would be more than enough all by itself, but that's not where this horror story ends. The hawk that had presumably dropped the snake really wanted it back.

Keep ReadingShow less

wild nature stories

Scientists studied the bones of ancient women, and we might need to rethink 'women's work'

Women of the Bronze Age were anything but weak.

Canva

Certainly not the story we've been taught to believe

Think about the illustrations you've seen of men and women of the Bronze Age who lived thousands of years ago.

Perhaps there's one you recall from your elementary school text book — in which men are probably depicted hurling bronze spears and strangling lions with their bare hands, while the women are most likely pictured leading children around, sifting through grapes or weaving tiny reeds into baskets (presumably to hold the fruits of their husbands' labor).

Keep ReadingShow less

After a tragic birth story out of Atlanta, an OBGYN breaks down 'maneuvers of last resort'

"A shoulder dystocia, if you don't know, is an obstetric emergency."

Dr. Fatima Daoud|TikTok

OB-GYN breaks down shoulder dystocia after tragedy in Atlanta.

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains graphic details of childbirth trauma and infant loss.

A couple in Atlanta, Georgia, experienced a devastating loss that by all stretches of the imagination seems impossible. Unfortunately, the unimaginable is one of the rarest of rare birth complications that resulted in the loss of their newborn son.

Jessica Ross and her partner, Treveon Taylor, were excitedly awaiting the delivery of their first child when during the pushing stage of labor, baby Treveon Taylor Jr.'s shoulder got stuck. According to the Cleveland Clinic, shoulder dystocia is when one or both of the baby's shoulders get stuck behind a bone in the pelvis, which doesn't allow the baby to exit the birth canal.

Ross found herself in this very situation, which eventually resulted in an emergency situation in which the doctor had to dislodge the baby from the pelvis and perform a Cesarean section. It is suspected that the force with which the baby was dislodged caused the infant's decapitation.

Keep ReadingShow less

childbirth complications

'We're naming a child, not a dog': Man fights with wife over naming baby 'Zoomer'

Has the unusual baby name trend gone too far or is he stuck in the past?

via Polina Zimmerman/Pexels

A couple arguing over what to name their baby

Over the past decade or so, there has been a trend of parents choosing to give their children unique names. “We are deep in an era of naming individuality, where parents assume that having a [name] sound distinctive and unique is a virtue,” Laura Wattenberg, the founder of the naming-trends site Namerology, told The Atlantic.

There are multiple reasons for this change in American culture. One is that people have fewer children, so their uniqueness has become more important for parents. Another is that baby name data has pushed parents to go to further lengths to come up with names that won’t make them the third John or second Maria in a classroom.

The internet has also played a role in the change. People with unique names stand out online. Good luck if you’re looking on Facebook for a former classmate named Matt Smith.

Keep ReadingShow less

Woman shares eye-opening video of what a birthday surprise from an abusive partner looks like

Abuse doesn't always look like abuse.

Lindsay Goodman|TikTok

Woman shares video of what domestic abuse can look like.

Being in an abusive relationship isn't typically something people flaunt around social media or their personal lives. Abuse can be difficult to recognize sometimes, even when you're the one being abused, especially if the abuse isn't physical. Emotional and verbal abuse behind closed doors while the abuser behaves differently in public can make you feel like your own perception can't be trusted.

Lindsay Goodman reposted a video from January 2022, where she reveals the behind-the-scenes of a birthday surprise from her abusive ex-partner. Goodman's birthday is August 10, and she has been reposting the video on her birthday every year to show her growth since leaving her partner.

Without the text overlay explaining what was going on, the birthday surprise seemed like an extremely sweet gesture filmed from the ex-partner's perspective. The original video has over 2.2 million likes and more than 13.4K comments on TikTok.

Keep ReadingShow less

domestic violence