upworthy
Joy

Conversation between mic'd up 3-yr-old and 4-yr-old is a masterclass in friendship

What if grownups got to know each other like this?

two preschoolers walking in the mountains holding hands
@katyrobinbird/Instagram

We can all take a page out of the preschool friendship-making handbook.

A lot of adults find it hard to make friends past a certain age, and science even confirms that forming friendship bonds as grownups is more challenging than when we were kids.

"Sociologists have kind of identified the ingredients that need to be in place for us to make friends organically, and they are continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability," University of Maryland psychologist Marisa Franco told Boston NPR station, WBUR, adding that environments with those elements are harder to come by as adults.

"Continuous unplanned interaction" and "shared vulnerability" may sound daunting, but maybe we're just making it all too complicated.

As a sweet interaction captured between preschoolers shows, making friends doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. In fact, their conversation is pretty much a masterclass in friendship-making.

Check out this adorable budding friendship captured by mom Katy-Robin Garton and shared on her Instagram:

While most adults probably wouldn't feel comfortable asking a brand-new friend if they want to hold hands, the rest of the interaction contains some solid elements of building a relationship with someone.

First of all, research shows that walking together, especially in nature, makes conversation easier. And doesn't have to be in the beautiful Montana scenery of this video—just being outdoors in general helps.

Secondly, listen to how the kiddos ask and respond to questions. The little girl asked if the boy took naps (a totally a legit question for grownups to ask one another, by the way). But then she shared a bit about her family, tied it to a question about him and his age, and then built on his answer by sharing a bit more about herself. That kind of give-and-take is how people start getting to know each other.

And then, of course, the sweet compliment! "I like your glasses." So simple, but everyone loves a compliment. And the way she so graciously received it and with such self-assured confidence: "Me too." Now they've established that they share some tastes in common.

Finally, the "Ah, dog poop!" which is just funny. (But also, she's watching out for them both—friends gotta have one another's backs, right?)

Naturally, people are loving it.

"My god, these littles are glorious. My faith in the future of humanity has been restored 🌱🙌🏾💫💕🎆," wrote one commenter.

"They will literally have this same conversation when they’re 90. 'You take naps anymore?' 'You know you’re older than my cousin, he’s 93…,' 'I’m 93 and a half…'😂😂😂" shared another.

"I can’t even. The next time I try to make a new friend I’ll lead with “do you wanna hold my hand?” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️" wrote another.

Seriously, there's a lot we can learn from observing little ones who learn and connect without all the baggage we grownups often bring to the table. When it comes to friendship, perhaps we should take a page out of these preschoolers' book. They seem to have the basics pretty well figured out already.

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Health

'This is the face of domestic violence.' The tragedy of Megan Montgomery happens far too often.

"Megan began dying on July 23, 2017, on their first date."

via Feminist News/Megan Montgomery

Megan Montgomery and Jason McIntosh on their wedding day

If you were to look at Megan Montgomery's Instagram account, you'd see a beautiful, smiling woman in the prime of her life, her youth and fitness the envy of women the world over. You'd even see some photos of her with her husband (#datenight), with comments saying things like "Aww, gorgeous couple!"

But beneath her picture-perfect feed was the story of a woman in an abusive relationship with her husband—one that would start with his arrest shortly after they got married, and end 10 months later with him shooting her to death in a parking lot. In a Facebook post, one of the people who was out with Megan the night of her murder detailed how her estranged husband had come to their table, put his hand on her neck and shoulder, and escorted her out of the building.


She went with him willingly, but anyone familiar with abusive relationships knows that "willingly" is a subjective term. He had reportedly threatened mass violence before. Perhaps she was trying to protect the people she was with. Perhaps staying felt more dangerous to her than going with him.

The couple reportedly had a volatile relationship from the start, and at one point both had restraining orders against the other. Regardless, she was killed by the man who had claimed to love her, an ex-cop who had been arrested for domestic violence and had been bailed out multiple times prior to that evening.

In April of 2021, McIntosh, pleaded guilty to murdering Montgomery. As part of the plea deal, he received a 30-year prison sentence.

"Megan began dying on July 23, 2017, on their first date," her mother, Susann Montgomery-Clark, said in court. "Like a frog in a pot of boiling water, you gradually turn up the heat to boiling and the frog doesn't know they're dying. That's what happened to Megan. That's what domestic violence does. Anyone who met her after their first date didn't know the real Megan that he destroyed long before he killed her."


Feminist News wrote the gist of Megan's story on Facebook, sharing photos from the couple's wedding to illustrate how invisible domestic violence can be to those outside of it. "THIS is the face of domestic violence," they wrote.


But what was perhaps most striking about the post was the deluge of comments from women describing their own experiences with domestic violence. Comment after comment explaining how a partner always made them think the abuse was their fault, how restraining orders were repeatedly violated, how they were charmed and loved into questioning whether the verbal abuse or physical violence was really that bad. Story after story of how they didn't see it coming, how slowly and insidiously it escalated, how terrifying it was to try to leave.

Those of us who have not been in abusive relationships don't always understand why people don't leave them. But the dynamics of abuse—the emotional manipulation, the gaslighting, the self-esteem destruction, the fear and shame—are well documented.

Unfortunately, those dynamics can prove deadly. Domestic violence murders have been on the rise in recent years, going up 19% between 2014 and 2017. And sadly, our justice system does not protect domestic violence survivors as well as it should.

Part of the challenge of prosecuting in domestic violence cases is that victims are not always willing to cooperate, either out of fear or shame or embarrassment, or unhealthy loyalty. According to some estimates, domestic violence victims recant their testimony up to 70% of the time. That's why some are pushing for evidence-based prosecution without requiring victim testimony, much like we try murder cases.


domestic violence, woman in fear, violence against women, domestic violence cases, violent husbands, sousal abuseA woman afraid for her life.via Canva/Photos

But some, like University of Maryland law professor Leah Goodmark, argue that pushing for more law enforcement hasn't proven to reduce domestic violence rates. Addressing issues of poverty, childhood trauma, attitudes toward gender equality, and other risk factors for domestic violence may be more effective by stopping violence before it starts.

While abuse happens to both men and women, women are more likely to be victims and much more likely to be murdered by a partner. Thankfully, there are many resources for domestic violence survivors to seek help, whether you're trying to determine if your relationship is abusive or trying to figure out if, when, and how to leave. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.thehotline.org or call 1−800−799−7233) has a wealth of information on domestic violence and what to do about it. The website even has a live chat where you can get your questions answered and receive assistance making a safety plan for you and your family.

If you are afraid of your partner or other loved one, there's something wrong. No one should live in fear of the people who are supposed to love them the most.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Internet

People reveal their 'stupidly expensive' purchases that were worth every penny

Some things are genuinely worth paying good money for.

Photo credit: Canva

People share things they're happy they splurged on.

"You get what you pay for" may be a popular saying, but it's not always true. Sometimes a bargain-priced item turns out to be a quality purchase and sometimes supposedly "high end" items turn out to be no better than their cheaper equivalents. Figuring out what's worth paying extra money for and what's not is an ongoing dilemma in this age of having everything under the sun available at our fingertips.

However, some people feel strongly about certain items being 100% worth every penny, even when they cost a whole lot of pennies. So, when someone asked, "What's a stupidly expensive adult purchase that you now swear by that you would buy again in a heartbeat?" thousands of people weighed in with their favorite splurges, from the practical to the sentimental.

Here are some of the top responses people agreed were worth spending a little extra of their hard-earned money on.

socks, expensive socks, darn tough socks, cozy, clothingIf you think socks are socks, think again.Photo credit: Canva

$20-$30 socks

"I paid 80 dollars for three pairs of socks because I didn't look at the price. I just comfortably assumed I could happily afford it. That was about 6 years ago and I've just had to get rid of the first pair. Worth every penny. (Big thick merino wool ones that I wear with my work boots.)"

"I never realized how much difference there is between average socks and good socks until I discovered Darn Tough. $25+ is a lot of money for a pair of socks, and they're worth every penny. The unconditional lifetime warranty seals the deal for me. I realize this sounds like I'm trying to sell some socks, but I'm really not."

"If the word socks is ever uttered around my mother she WILL proceed to give the full sales pitch for darn tough socks and their lifetime warranty. I have these socks. I am still informed of the warranty at least 2-3 times a year by her."

"My dad was a mail carrier and would buy these special socks from their supplier. I swear the bottoms were almost an inch thick. They felt like wearing slippers and were so soft. He swore they were like 20 bucks a pair, which was crazy in the early 2000’s. He bought me a few pairs one year and I wore them for like 5 years and was devastated when they eventually ripped or got lost."


mattress, good mattress, good night's sleep, quality bed. restYou spend a third of your life on a mattress, so you want it to be a good one.Photo credit: Canva

A good mattress

"A high-end mattress Like, borderline 'do I need to finance this?' expensive. I used to think any mattress would do, but once I got one that actually supported my back and kept me cool at night? Life changing. I sleep like a pampered cat now. No regrets."

"Yes!!! In 2012, I bought a Stearns & Foster mattress set that I could barely pay for. I think it ran me around $1200? And it still feels wonderful 13 years later. It also has a 25-year warranty."

"As someone about to replace their mattress, this is a sign from the universe to splurge. There’s the old saying: spend money on the things between you and the ground (mattress, shoes, etc)."

"For folks that want this kind luxury: The Kirkland Signature mattresses at Costco are made by Stearns and Foster and they usually go on sale around once per year. Got a queen in 2024 for ~925 bucks."

bra, expensive bra, bra fitting, getting a bra that fits, bra sizeA good quality bra that fits is priceless.Photo credit: Canva

A decent bra (that fits well)

"As a woman, decent bras. The outlay is painful up front but the whole point is, nothing afterwards is. No digging in. No weird cup spills. No loosening throughout the day until it's pointless. No exposed wires after a week. No torn hooks after a couple of washes. Buy a good bra. You deserve it. Your girls deserve it. Your back deserves it."

"I used to go to a place that went as far as tailoring your bras. They closed. All the bra shops closed. The knowledge of fitting bras is disappearing. It is Very sad for all of our breasts. If you get the right fit you feel like you're not wearing anything."

"Good bras are sooooo worth it. Changing from an ill-fitting bra to a properly-fitted one makes most women look like they lost 10-20 pounds!

My favorite gift for a new college grad, a special birthday, to celebrate a new job or a divorce is a trip to Nordstrom (or a specialty lingerie store) for a fitting. I buy them at least 2 perfectly fitted bras.

"Before the Nordstrom visit, many friends poo-poo the idea as unnecessary saying ' my bras are fine.' But as soon as they're wearing the new bras regularly, they can't believe how much [more] comfortable they are, and how many people comment, asking them if they lost weight."

"I’m a horticulturalist, so I bend and move a lot for work. I finally ditched my old Target bras that were loose and itchy. I splurged on bras made for gardeners from Duluth Trading, and oh my lord, why didn’t I do that sooner!"

professional movers, moving, hiring movers, bras, good brasProfessional movers make moving so much less stressful, physically and mentally.Photo credit: Canva

Professional movers

"Professional movers. Greatest luxury item I’ve ever spent money on."

"I moved for work a few times and the company would come to my house and pack everything up. They would individually wrap every plate and cup, it was crazy."

"Even just having plenty of energy to direct what rooms to put boxes in, being able to unpack essentials as all your stuff is brought in is worth its weight in gold."

"Yes! We packed, but paid for movers. Planning on doing it again next time cause that was so freaking worth it! We moved to another apartment in the same city so it wasn’t a long trip, but even still they had that entire apartment packed, moved and unloaded in like 7 hours with an hour lunch break so really done in 6 hr. It would have taken me and my husband probably 6 hours to just move the sectional, some shelving & the washer and dryer."

cleaners, professional cleaning services, house cleaners, splurges, worth itCleaners save time, stress, and sometimes even relationships.Photo credit: Canva

Cleaning services

"Monthly cleaning service!!!! Best non-required use of my money to date."

"Same here! I do bi-monthly. I was killing myself working 9+ hour days and trying to keep a clean house. I haven’t cleaned a bathroom since."

"I didn’t realise the mental load that cleaning carried or the weight of resentment for having to do it until I outsourced it. Best decision I’ve made in a long time."

"Yard service for me. Instead of a couple sweaty hours followed by a couple days of bad allergies, I now send a couple texts, transfer some money, and it's done."

cat, pet, vet, vet bills, veterinarianVet bills can be painful, but are 100% worth it.Photo credit: Canva

Vet bills

"The vet bill for my rescue cat's teeth removal. $5,000 all told. Ended the agony of stomatitis and saved his life. That was about 7 years ago and he's sitting on my lap right now. 🥰"

"$750 for anti-venom in 2007. She finally passed in 2019. I was a teenager when I foot that bill, it was everything I'd saved. Never regretted it for a second."

"I had a cat with a dead kidney and paid around $7k throughout her extremely short life because of her congenital kidney disease. She passed at 19 months after her dead kidney was removed and the remaining kidney started failing. It took all of the money I had left from my divorce and was saving, plus any other savings I had, and I still had to put some on credit.

I would do it again to get those extra months with her when she was feeling really good. I don’t think she had actually ever felt good before her nephrectomy. I love her and she saved my life, so I did what I could for her."

"We spent about $900 for an at-home euthanasia for our cat. We didn’t want him to be stressed out and scared in his last moments. 1000% worth it. This was after spending about $9k trying to save his life. Kidney disease/cancer can just f__k right off."

"Ours was $350 when we REALLY couldn’t afford it. Never again any other way. I love the idea of the lighting of the candle in the vet’s office for those in need, but home is the way to go."

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Community

'Ordinary' video of a neighborhood street Sunday has people raving about America at its best

"It takes a village. This is wonderful."

Image via Canva

Neighborhood spends a Sunday evening together gathered and creating community.

Growing up in a connected neighborhood can, arguably, create the best childhood. Core memories and a sense of community are created through neighborhood kids riding bikes, playing games in the cul-de-sac, spending time together in backyards, and having porch chats with parents. These days, neighborhoods like that are becoming a rarity.

But TikTokers The Butan Fam (@thebutanfam), a family of 5 living in Southern Florida, shared a sentimental video of their neighborhood getting together on a Sunday to have dinner together on their street. Its wholesome, "gold old days" vibe has viewers reminiscing about their childhood neighborhoods.

"POV: You won the neighborhood lottery. This is just a random Sunday on our street," she captioned the video. Set to "The Sound of Peace" by Damluhe, the camera pans to her street at dusk, revealing an idyllic scene of community.

@thebutanfam

We decided to have dinner together. #Neighborhood #bestneighbors #lifeinthesuburbs #SuburbanLiving

In the caption, she wrote, "We decided to have dinner together." The entire neighborhood came out to spend time together on a lovely Sunday night. Dads and moms are gathered together in a group talking, while one dad and his kids are shooting hoops. The camera pans to a group of kids sitting on the sidewalk together painting on canvases.

Essentially, everything seems right in the world. Families are together and socializing with their neighbors in a safe setting, and viewers are loving how connected and present everyone is.

@thebutanfam

Stay at home mom Chronicles! #lifeonarandomtuesday life on a random Wednesday. #Life. #StayAtHomeMom.

One viewer commented, "You got that 2003 type neighborhood."

Another added, "Now THIS is COMMUNITY. The America we all want."

Another wrote, "I grew up in a neighborhood like this. Kids all hung out, parents got a long, one of the best times of my life."

In another comment, a viewer added, "You guys are RICH rich. Community is amazing 😭", and The Butan Fam replied, "Yes we are! The things money can’t buy!"

One person noted that with so many envious people, the same sense of community can be found if you initiate it. "For everyone watching this wishing it could be you… you could be the first villager. The first to host a barbecue. The first to put the basketball net in the street. We need to be individually responsible for creating community," they wrote.

Kids playing, neighborhood, community, village, neighbors Happy Music Video GIF by Chrissy MetzGiphy

Others noted, ""It takes a village. This is wonderful." Another recalled how they miss this sense of community that they had in their childhood. "This reminds me of growing up in the 80s. I felt so free to go outside and just enjoy the day. Now in my 50s I don't really go out like that anymore. It feels like people are much more guarded and definitely less friendly. I miss the simpler days," one wrote.

In an Instagram response post, The Butan Fam shared, "Never in a million years did I think my last video would go mega viral (14 million views on TikTok 😱). I was just soaking in the moment in my neighborhood and decided to share it with you all. Thank you so much for the love," they wrote. "No, it’s not AI and no, I won’t be sharing my exact location. I have to keep myself safe lol. But I do want to say this. Florida is an incredible state. I’ve lived all over South Florida. I was born and raised in Fort Lauderdale and have lived in so many different cities across the state, including just 30 minutes from Orlando."

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