One doesn’t have to be Gen X or a Boomer to remember the magic that was The Golden Girls, an NBC TV show that ran from 1985 to 1992. It sparked the idea that perhaps as women age, their retirement plan could look more like friends rooming together, rather than senior living facilities.
A co-housing expert in New Mexico is testing out this idea. Groups of women, ranging in age from their 50s to early 70s, have been attending retreats on a sprawling ranch to workshop ideas and share what works and what doesn’t, from logistical and emotional standpoints.
Living like a ‘Golden Girl’
In an article for AARP, Christina Ianzito shared that Elizabeth White facilitates the retreats that ask the question, “Could you really live like The Golden Girls?” Ianzito explained that “the goal is to determine whether anyone wants to take the leap from ‘Sounds nice’ to ‘Let’s do this thing.’”
This leads to a series of practical questions, which Ianzito lays out: “What if someone gets sick? What will the neighbors think? How do you manage the housekeeping? Could guests visit? What if a housemate turns out to be difficult to live with? Is there an easy way to leave if it doesn’t work out? And after weighing all those difficult questions, would they want to give shared living a try?”
The participants of the $1,500 retreat (and their concerns) varied widely. Ianzito shared, “Among them are Michelle Harper, 57, an education professor who’s thinking about creating a multigenerational household; Ariel Morvan, 59, a life coach in Arizona; and Martha Morrill, 67, a never-married artist who signed up at the last minute because, as she puts it, she was ‘at a crossroads.’”
Midlife wisdom school
The property itself is part of the passion project Modern Elder Academy (MEA), which Chip Conley founded. Ianzito explained that Conley is a 65-year-old “entrepreneur and author of Learning to Love Midlife.” He described MEA as a “midlife wisdom school.” It offers workshops on topics such as navigating transitions and cultivating purpose at its Santa Fe–area and Baja California campuses.
Upworthy had the honor of speaking with Conley, who said right off the bat that he believed “The Golden Girls may have been onto something long before the rest of us caught up.”
He shared his inspiration to create MEA: “I founded Modern Elder Academy because I realized we were living longer lives without necessarily having a roadmap for navigating them. We’ve added years to our lives, but we haven’t done nearly enough to add meaning to those years.
“Our culture is obsessed with youth, and yet some of our greatest opportunities for growth, connection, and reinvention happen in the second half of life. I wanted to create a place where people could rethink what it means to grow older, not as a period of decline, but as a time of possibility. At MEA, we believe aging is something to aspire to, not something to fear.”
Independence is key
Regarding what they’ve learned from the workshops, Conley leaned into the importance of independence for any aging community. “The Golden Girls concept taps into something incredibly important: the desire to remain independent without becoming isolated. There’s a beautiful distinction between living alone and being lonely. Many women want to maintain their autonomy while also having companionship, laughter, emotional support, and a sense of community woven into their everyday lives.
“The potential upsides are enormous. Imagine having friends nearby who know your story, celebrate your wins, notice when you’re struggling, and share the ordinary moments that make life meaningful.”
He noted that there are downsides too. “Of course, communal living isn’t automatically easy. Sharing a home requires communication, healthy boundaries, financial transparency, and the ability to navigate differences. Friendship and compatibility as housemates aren’t always the same thing.”
The ‘Bettys’
Conley shared a guest post from one of the “Golden Girls housemates” that he published on his blog Wisdom Well. One of their first participants, Robin Tefft, reported that she and her fellow experimenters called themselves the “Bettys,” after The Golden Girls cast member Betty White who played the lovable ditz, Rose.
What she found was insightful. “It’s not about living in a house together, it is about living in a community. We created our own formula for living together harmoniously. Rather than rules, we lived by mutually established values, norms, and communication. It is a model based on freedom, not dogma,” she recalled.
Tefft also shared that she was thrilled with the outcome. “The result is that we grew in ways we didn’t expect. For me, it was a soul-enriching experience that will leave an indelible mark on my heart. At the end of the month, I returned home a different and better person. It is my intention to continue the growth.”
‘Questioning the script’
Conley explained that how we approach aging seems to have shifted. “I think we’re witnessing a profound shift in how people approach the second half of life. Previous generations were often handed a fairly predictable script: work hard, retire, slow down. But Gen X and Boomers are increasingly questioning that script. What if the second half of life isn’t about winding down? What if it’s about becoming more fully ourselves?
“One of my biggest concerns is that we’re not preparing socially or emotionally for our increased longevity. We talk a great deal about retirement savings and healthcare, but not nearly enough about purpose, friendship, belonging, and the relationships that sustain us.
“We need to start thinking about our social portfolios with the same intentionality we bring to our financial portfolios. And perhaps most importantly, we need to stop treating aging as a problem to solve and start recognizing it as an opportunity to grow.”
