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Lots of people go by 'he.' Lots of people go by 'she.' And, some people ... don't.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a very good reason to stop using the phrase "ladies and gentlemen."

Here's a fact about gender that you may not know: Being "male" or "female" isn't the only way a person can be gendered.

(Confused? Don't worry.)


If you're hearing this for the first time, here's some context.

You probably didn't blink when I called you either a “lady" or a “gentleman" at the top of this post because most of us refer to ourselves as either “male" or “female."

But the titles "Mr." and "Ms." don't cover everyone. Some people don't identify as either gender. The word for them is non-binary, as in neither "male" nor "female."

Wondering what you say when referring to people who are non-binary?

It's simple: Instead of using "he/him/his" or "she/her/hers," you use "they/them/their" or other gender neutral words.

At this point, I have to mention...

Upworthy has a confession to make.

The staff here had a hard time understanding this concept.

At first, we didn't know what to do. But, thanks to a few queer folk who work at Upworthy, we've learned more about queer identity and gender.

To those taken aback by it, it's new to many of us too. There's more to understanding gender in-depth.

Two things about us play an important part in our identity.


One part, our sexual orientation, is a big part of who we are. Whether gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual, our orientation indicates the gender we desire — or don't, if you're asexual.


The other big part who we are is our gender identity.

  • Most of us are cisgender: born as the gender we identify as.
  • And transgender people are assigned the incorrect gender at birth.
  • Non-binary or gender neutral people don't identify as either gender.
  • And some — like genderqueer people, for example — identify as a combination of both.

As with orientation, gender has a broad range. It's not a couple of boxes on a form. Gender is much more like a spectrum.


It seems complex, but it's actually pretty simple.

But, Upworthy folks still had a hard time getting it right. Me included.

We employ a few queer and other LGBTQ folks here at Upworthy. One employee happens to identify as gender non-conforming. This was the first time others and I had met someone like them.

Since this was new to us, a lot of us failed at respecting this person and their identity by misgendering them. We failed miserably, and often. We had some pretty superficial reasons for it too:

"Calling one person 'they' is grammatically confusing."


"It's hard to remember to say the right words."


Seriously — grammar, everyone!

Bottom line:

True.

Using neutral pronouns like "they," "them," and "their" with our colleague took a little getting used to, but we're getting there.

(Justin Vivian Bond is a singer who is trans and gender non-conforming.)

Everyone's orientation and identity are facts. They aren't decisions. If someone's telling you what they prefer to be identified as, make an effort to use the right words. Like Justin said above, life isn't easier for those who don't identify the way the majority does. Let's try not to make it harder for them.

Watch the full video below for some more insight into how we learned from our company-wide mistake:

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But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

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Kudos to the heroes who had 90 seconds to save lives in the Key Bridge collapse

The loss of 6 lives is tragic, but the dispatch recording shows it could have been so much worse.

Representative image by Gustavo Fring/Pexels

The workers who responded to the Dali's mayday call saved lives with their quick response.

As more details of the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse in Baltimore emerge, it's becoming more apparent how much worse this catastrophe could have been.

Just minutes before 1:30am on March 26, shortly after leaving port in Baltimore Harbor, a cargo ship named Dali lost power and control of its steering, sending it careening into a structural pillar on Key Bridge. The crew of the Dali issued a mayday call at 1:26am to alert authorities of the power failure, giving responders crucial moments to prepare for a potential collision. Just 90 seconds later, the ship hit a pylon, triggering a total collapse of the 1.6-mile bridge into the Patapsco River.

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Yale's pep band had to miss the NCAA tournament. University of Idaho said, 'We got you.'

In an act of true sportsmanship, the Vandal band learned Yale's fight song, wore their gear and cheered them on.

Courtesy of University of Idaho

The Idaho Vandals answered the call when Yale needed a pep band.

Yale University and the University of Idaho could not be more different. Ivy League vs. state school. East Coast vs. Pacific Northwest. City vs. farm town. But in the first two rounds of the NCAA basketball tournament, extenuating circumstances brought them together as one, with the Bulldogs and the Vandals becoming the "Vandogs" for a weekend.

When Yale made it to the March Madness tournament, members of the school's pep band had already committed to other travel plans during spring break. They couldn't gather enough members to make the trek across the country to Spokane, Washington, so the Yale Bulldogs were left without their fight song unless other arrangements could be made.

When University of Idaho athletic band director Spencer Martin got wind of the need less than a week before Yale's game against Auburn, he sent out a message to his band members asking if anyone would be interested in stepping in. The response was a wave of immediate yeses, so Martin got to work arranging instruments and the students dedicated themselves to learning Yale's fight song and other traditional Yale pep songs.

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