Being a mom is often a thankless job but it’s also one that feels nearly impossible to do while still maintaining balance in other aspects of life. This is especially true for moms that also work outside the home.
They’re somehow fitting in 40+ hours a week at an 8 to 5 while also keeping up with appointments, activities, special events, groceries, and housekeeping. Then there’s the matter of fitting in time with your partner if you have one while also finding time for your friends and yourself.
There just simply doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for working moms to do all that is expected of them. But many working moms grew up with working moms who somehow seemed to have this work-life balance thing all figured out. One mom took to the internet to demand to know the secret that moms from the 80s and 90s are keeping around this common struggle.
The mom uploaded a video to her account, FamPhiji to express her confusion on how her own mother was able to do everything while never appearing stressed.
“Am I the only mom that’s actually confused at how her own mom was able to do this? How are you able to wake up, get yourself dressed, get me ready, take me to daycare or school, go to work, work a full shift,” Phiji asks, “Get off, pick me up, take me home, make sure I was fed, make sure I was bathed, put me to bed, wake up and do it all again?”
Other moms shared Phiji’s confusion on how their working moms were able to keep up with everything while maintaining their sanity.
“They had a different batch of 24 hours,” one woman claims.
“They had real coke in their coke, energy drinks [keep] me standing,” another mom jokes.
Others were more serious with their answers as they lamented about what moms in the 80s and 90s went through.
“Honey, it took me til adulthood to realize my mom was depressed,” a commenter reveals.
“I don’t think they had time for themselves. I think they just kept moving and never even stopped to think about how exhausted and miserable they were,” someone suggests.
A mom from the generation in question chimed in to confirm the suspicion of others: “There was no balance. We just kept moving cause we knew what had to be done,” she said.
So, maybe it wasn’t magic or a super secret extra set of hours. Maybe it was the more likely scenario that they, too, were absolutely overwhelmed and exhausted but we didn’t notice because we were children.
One day our own children will be asking how we made it all work and that’s your time to tell them the truth—that work-life balance is a pretty much a myth (though it’s a bit more real in other countries…).
Wherever you live and work, though, it takes equal partnership to make a household run smoothly and something will always get put down. It’s up to you to prioritize what you need to hold, what you can delegate, and what you can set aside for another day.
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
Watching kids grow up is one of the great honors of parenthood, but it comes with many bittersweet moments. For one man, it was letting go of a nine-year-long bedtime routine he had created with his preteen son. Redditor YoTeach68 shared his gut-wrenching and all-too-familiar parenting story with his fellow dads. He explained that he…
Watching kids grow up is one of the great honors of parenthood, but it comes with many bittersweet moments.
For one man, it was letting go of a nine-year-long bedtime routine he had created with his preteen son. Redditor YoTeach68 shared his gut-wrenching and all-too-familiar parenting story with his fellow dads.
He explained that he was a divorced dad with 50/50 custody. One way he made the most of his time with his son was by continuing a cherished bedtime routine they had done since his son was just two years old.
“We developed a whole bedtime routine that included me reading aloud to him, then talking about our day (highs and lows, that kind of thing), then me singing the same three short songs to him (songs that I learned at a summer camp when I was a kid, and the camp where he currently goes) while rubbing his back,” he shared.
As a single dad, he acknowledged that some nights were harder than others. He also knew things wouldn’t be this way forever, adding, “Obviously I couldn’t be singing to him and rubbing his back his whole life.”
After getting advice from fellow dads on when it would be appropriate to cut it off, the consensus was to let his son decide.
Parent of pre-teen/ late grade school aged kids. light up every time your kid walks into the room. This is going to teach them that attention is not earned, it is just part of being in loving, caring relationship. And that attention is going to be returned back to you when they turn into a teenager. Because the number one issue parents of teams report to me is the indifference of their teenager toward them. Follow for more tips on how to have a better relationship with your kids. #parentsofteens#teeangers#raisinggoodhumans#raisegoodkids#respectfulparenting#discipline#teachrespect
Unfortunately, when the time finally came, he shared how he knew it was time.
“He’s 11 now, and over the past two weeks or so he’s been telling me each night that he was just going to go to bed after giving me a quick hug and that I didn’t need to read to him or anything,” he explained.
Sensing the change, he decided to talk to his son about it.
“I finally sat him down and asked him if he felt he was outgrowing the bedtime routine, and he said yes. I told him how much the bedtime routine had meant to me, because I have no memories of my own parents putting me to bed (I do have memories of a cassette player in my bed that read books aloud). I told him I hoped it had meant something to him. I asked if he would indulge me and let me put him to bed one last time, and he obliged.”
The two then did their final bedtime routine together.
“Last night we went through the routine one last time (and I even pulled out one of his favorite picture books from when he was about 5). We talked about our day. I sang the songs. I rubbed his back. Then I kissed him on the cheek, told him I would cherish the memories of putting him to bed the last nine years, turned off his light, and closed his door behind me).”
Many dads shared their emotional responses to the story:
“Welp I’m f*cking crying on the toilet as my wife and my son nap lol.”
“❤️ that was lovely. My daughter is 5 and we put her to bed with a routine every night. Sometimes it’s fun and lovely and sometimes it’s a struggle. And sometimes it’s both. And part of me is looking forward to her doing to bed herself and part of me knows I’ll miss it.”
“I’ve been thinking about this a lot with my boys lately. They’re still young, and still love the bed time routine with me and their mum. But I’m already getting emotional over the idea that one day, like you, I’ll have to do it one last time. Treasure the memories forever, as I’m sure you will. I don’t really know what else to say, but…yeah, this made me feel things even more. Kudos.”
“Lying in bed now with my snoring 4 year old, after doing our bedtime routine and this post hit hard. Giving him a big hug and kiss before I leave as always but I’m going to do it more mindfully. Hopefully he still wants me to do this until he’s 11 too. You are a great dad.”
“Damn, f*cking onions.”
A therapist explains how dads can cope
Hillary Pilotto, therapist and founder of Better Balance Counseling, Ltd., told Upworthy that this transition is a normal (albeit painful) experience that many parents face.
“At 11, kids are right in the middle of the individuation process; developmentally, they are supposed to be pulling away,” she explained. “Wanting more independence, more privacy, more of their own identify separate from mom and dad. That’s not rejection. That’s healthy.”
And this may bring some relief: it’s actually a sign of good parenting.
“A child who feels secure enough in their attachment to say ‘I’m ready to do this on my own’ is actually a sign that the bedtime routine worked,” she added.
While these may be “good” things, Pilotto acknowledged that none of that makes it easier for the parent.
“There’s a grief in these transitions that doesn’t get talked about enough,” she shared. “It is not a dramatic loss; no one died, nothing went wrong, but something real is ending and it’s okay to feel sad about that. I tell parents: you’re allowed to mourn the little kid even while you’re proud of the one standing in front of you.”
She recommended that other parents take notes from the dad who shared his story if they are going through a similar transition.
“The best thing a parent can do in these moments is what the dad did; honor it. Name it,” she said. “Show your kid that transitions matter and that it’s okay to feel two things at once. That’s a lesson that will stay with them long after the bedtime routine is gone.”
It can be tough for parents to see their kids on the receiving end of unkind comments. But sometimes, we’re reminded that many kids have unshakable confidence—and actually have a thing or two to show us about what resilience really looks like. Recently, a mom named Maren Droubay shared that her young daughter Emmie was…
It can be tough for parents to see their kids on the receiving end of unkind comments. But sometimes, we’re reminded that many kids have unshakable confidence—and actually have a thing or two to show us about what resilience really looks like.
Recently, a mom named Maren Droubay shared that her young daughter Emmie was the target of some mean-girl bullying. A few girls had apparently told Emmie, “We don’t even like you.” Ouch.
But apparently Emmie was completely, totally, undeniably unbothered. And Droubay was so proud of her response that she shared it on Instagram.
Holding a very apropos princess wand, Emmie recited the words:
“Well, guess what? My family thinks I’m a princess, and I’m super kind and nice…If you don’t think that, that’s okay because that’s what I think of myself, and that’s who I actually am…I know who I am.”
“I hope someday I can be as confident as she is,” Droubay wrote in her video. She added in the caption that this was “one of those moments where you realize you might be doing at least one thing right as a parent.”
Indeed, viewers credited Droubay for Emmie’s delightful resilience.
“That is the product of some A-plus parenting and a village that has poured confidence into this babygirl. May we see more of this in our kids. All of our kids,” one viewer wrote.
Another added, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if all parents talked to their children like this and they all thought they were super nice and kind. Good job, she is a sweet little princess! 🌟”
While Droubay told Upworthy that Emmie’s self-esteem comes rather naturally (“she has always been a confident girl”), she nonetheless has proactively worked to “encourage” it, mainly by “speaking to her with love.”
“One thing I learned in college that really impacted me is that children form their sense of self in the first five years of life,” recalled Droubay. “I have tried to make them feel loved as much as I can because of that. We love the new Cinderella and so ‘have courage and be kind’ has been a repeated phrase for me with my children.”
That is a sentiment shared by experts like parenting educator Samantha Moe, who said that words of affirmation “help children feel valued and reinforce their positive qualities.” That said, many parents might be concerned, and rightfully so, that too much praise could cause a child to seek external validation. In the video below, Moe explained that even consistent “I love yous” can offer a self-esteem boost without causing dependence.
Since the encounter, Droubay has spoken to the other girls’ parents, and all is well. Her stance: “Little girls are just kids! Not every kid has the tools to be kind and is still learning. Every parent is doing their absolute best.”
And even better, Emmie has gotten to see the incredible impact her video has had and has apparently “cried happy tears” because of it. All in all, it’s a pretty happy ending. It has inspired Droubay to offer these words of encouragement to fellow parents:
“Your children only have one brief childhood, and then they go out into the world as adults. Our words have deep impact on who they will be. Every action we take as parents affects their lives—obviously I mess up as a parent all the time—but we have the power to speak love, kindness, and condolence into our kids—so why not?”
Back in 2022, True, a five-year-old under the care of social services, was dropped off at Children’s Nebraska in Omaha for a seven-hour heart procedure. No parent, guardian, or caseworker was to be found. True had been struggling with complications from a previous open-heart surgery for his congenital heart disease, a condition that caused parts…
Back in 2022, True, a five-year-old under the care of social services, was dropped off at Children’s Nebraska in Omaha for a seven-hour heart procedure. No parent, guardian, or caseworker was to be found.
True had been struggling with complications from a previous open-heart surgery for his congenital heart disease, a condition that caused parts of his heart to be underdeveloped. Unfortunately, his caseworker had COVID-19 at the time, leaving True to face the surgery alone.
A fateful encounter
After spotting him in the pre-op room, pediatric cardiac anesthesiologist Dr. Amy Beethe “could not stop staring” at the sweet child’s face throughout the surgery, CBS News reported.
“It just took me back that this four-year-old kid was undergoing heart surgery and no one was there,” she told KETV.
Despite already having six children of her own, Beethe couldn’t shake the connection she felt to True and called her husband Ryan to discuss making him their seventh child.
“I just said, ‘we need to have a talk when we get home and I need ya to have an open mind,’” Beethe recalled.
Though initially “hesitant,” Ryan nonetheless agreed that “it just felt right.” A year and a half later, True was adopted.
“It didn’t take long to fall in love with him and know that we needed him in our family,” Ryan told KETV.
The story doesn’t end there, however
Beethe and her husband knew that True had five siblings in the same foster care situation and not only worked to get them adopted into stable homes, but also into homes within Beethe’s community—including her sister, her sister-in-law, and a coworker. This ensured the entire family stayed in close contact.
The couple even adopted True’s older sister, Laney, bringing the family to eight children in total. While the now 10-year-old will need a full heart transplant in the future, he won’t be facing those challenges alone.
The effects of sibling separation in foster care
Sibling separation is recognized as a significant, yet common issue in the child welfare system. It is estimated that between 53% and 80% of siblings in foster care are separated from one or more of their brothers or sisters. This is either because the foster home is not large enough to accommodate them, because of different care needs, or because of the timing of their removal. It makes an already traumatic situation worse—potentially leading to long-term mental health issues, substance abuse, academic struggles, difficulties maintaining close relationships, and a lasting feeling of rejection.
The fact that Beethe could keep all six siblings together is nothing short of a miracle. She hopes their story will inspire others to consider taking in a foster child: “They are like a little flower bud that just blossoms. If more people would do it, it would change the world.”
Pregnancy cravings are one of the many bizarre things experienced during pregnancy. From sweet to salty, they run the gamut of tastes. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that an estimated 50–90% of women experience pregnancy cravings and noted that they often begin at the end of the first trimester and become most…
Pregnancy cravings are one of the many bizarre things experienced during pregnancy. From sweet to salty, they run the gamut of tastes.
A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that an estimated 50–90% of women experience pregnancy cravings and noted that they often begin at the end of the first trimester and become most intense during the second trimester.
A June 2025 study on pregnancy cravings found that pregnant women tended to crave cold foods rather than hot ones. They also preferred “crunchy” textures over foods described as “smooth” or “creamy.”
To all the moms out there – what’s the strangest thing you’ve craved during pregnancy? 🤯🎙️ full episode all about pregnancy nutrition with @Glucose Goddess out everywhere now. LINK IN BIO or search ‘On Purpose Glucose Goddess’ to watch on YouTube #pregnancyjourney#motherhood#pregnant#moms#pregnantlife
Moms on Reddit opened up about their intense and strange pregnancy cravings, sharing the crazy combos they couldn’t get enough of while pregnant. These are some of their salty, sweet, and super-weird cravings:
Salty cravings
“There’s a mom and pop restaurant almost 45 minutes from my house, and very much out of my budget, that has the most AMAZING dry rub boneless wings- and their ranch is house made. I want to BE the chicken wing, I swear to god it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.” – Disastrous-Radish504
“I just about had a meltdown at work when the fast food place forgot ketchup. I actually walked through the entire office asking if anyone had ketchup packets stashed away somewhere, ransacked the break room…I finally went down to the cafe in the building and asked to buy just ketchup. The guy took one look at me and just started pouring it into a container, free of charge, he could see my big belly and my face and pretty sure he knew exactly what was up.” – superherostitch
“McDonald’s hamburgers (like the super basic one that comes in a happy meal) with no cheese and extra extra extra extra extra extra pickles.” – glory87
“Anything with lots of avocado, lemon, meat, and olive oillllll 🤤.” – PitchGlittering
“My favorite craving was Olive Garden’s salad, I ate it every day for a week it was so intense, my weirdest was my craving for McDonald’s fish fillets 🤢🤢🤢 I still can’t wrap my head around it because I think they are so gross, fish and cheese is the worst but man I’d ask my husband every other day to stop after work and get me at least 2, for a solid month. Ugh.” – CoffeeTvCandy
“The first time I found myself eating beef jerky in my car in a gas station parking lot without any recollection of purchasing it was when I realized I needed to buy a pregnancy test. I’d been vegetarian for over 8 years at that point and now for over 30 years aside from that pregnancy.” – Visual-Fig-4763
Sweet cravings
“Watermelon and fruit in general the first trimester. Then smoothies and milkshakes second trimester. I think I just wanted all the foods third trimester, but could only eat a few bites at a time.” – Jusmine984
“Blood oranges. I just couldn’t stop eating them. Also helped that we lived in Florida. So I was like a blood orange hoarder for 9 months. Would make my husband go to random farms to pick up oranges on his way from work.”- Senior_Tangerine3083
“Chocolate chip pancakes.” – soul-searcher3476
“Cinnamon Toast Crunch lol. I’m not a cereal person but i was when pregnant.” – tiredmillienal
“Oooooh I’ve got some funny ones. I had a lot of cravings, but ironically my most intense ones weren’t for food. Except at the end- at the end of my first pregnancy, I VIOLENTLY craved snow cones. Bought a literal whole machine yo make them. At the end of my second, it was popsicles, so I was in heaven at the hospital 🤣🤣🤣 was like ‘please can i have a popsicle?’ And the hospital was super happy to bring me all the popsicles I wanted LOL.” – Darkovika
“Mine was orange juice. For about the first 8 weeks, even before I knew I was pregnant, I was going through a half gallon a day.” – ButterflyTangerine
Crazy combination cravings
“With my first: all the cheeseburgers and those weird candy orange slice candies. I’m 32 weeks with my second and I’ve consumed nearly all the heirloom tomatoes the world has grown. That’s why your grocery store doesn’t have them. Twas meeeeeeeeee.” – heylittlefightergirl
“With my oldest I craved a mayo lettuce sandwich – yep just a mayo, lettuce on white bread.” – syaami
“Sushi. Raw fish. And blue cheese. Not even kidding. I was so nauseous all the time, and thinking about eating sushi was the only thing that got me through.” – Ok_Bumblebee_3978
“The food that slapped was Sea Salt and Vinegar chips with Sardines stuck between two crunchy chips.” – DogsNCoffeeAddict
“Vegetable sushi, stewed okra and tomatoes, and M&Ms.” – ghostdumpsters
“One time I went to the grocery store at 10 pm because I was craving salt and vinegar chips with French onion dip. Sounds gross but damn did that hit the spot at the time.” – yogipierogi5567
It seems kids are becoming less and less welcome in public spaces. For one thing, fewer Americans are choosing to have children at all. Couple that with social media, and the trend has only served to amplify the disruption kids cause in traditionally adult spaces like breweries and brunch spots. An eternal struggle exists between busy parents with no babysitter who still want to enjoy avocado toast and the folks who’d prefer to do so without noisy kids around.
But surely, one place where families are always welcome would have to be church—the original community gathering space. A place where all are not only welcome, but embraced. Even loud kids. However, this has turned out not to be strictly true either.
Over the years, many churches have separated children from the main worship space and instead provided them with age-appropriate activities. It’s a noble idea, but many parents say the practice feels exclusionary and forces families to spend that time apart. Even in the supposedly loving environment of church, there are plenty of folks who want to hear the service without the wail of a toddler in a tantrum.
Julie, a blogger and pastor’s wife, writes, “If you walk into a church that doesn’t have a heart for kids, you’ll know almost instantly. Congregants will look annoyed at childlike behavior and sounds, they’ll strongly discourage children from staying in the worship service, and folks will appear generally disinterested in them.”
One church is going viral for its cleverly worded “new policy” when it comes to noisy kids attending services.
Many churches don’t allow children in the main worship area, or at least frown upon it. Photo credit: Canva
First Baptist Union in Union, Mississippi, recently posted an announcement on its Facebook page regarding loud kids at church.
“There have been updates to the Loud Kid Policy at FB Union,” the post read. “If you have a loud kid, then this is for you. I know it might ruffle some feathers, but we had to do the right thing.”
The whole memo has to be read to be fully appreciated, but in short, church leaders announced they would offer “five” options for families who wanted to visit with loud children. With a little clever wordplay, all of the options amounted to the same thing: Bring them.
“We believe the sound of children in worship is not a distraction. It is evidence of life, growth, and the future of the church. If your child makes noise, you are not bothering us. You are blessing us.”
The post was a viral hit. Not only was it re-shared hundreds of times by the Union community, but it also reached far beyond Mississippi. The original memo and slight alterations of it were posted by churches across the country.
Reactions were largely positive. Many parents and church members chimed in to comment on how much they appreciated the tongue-in-cheek gesture:
“I’m not even a member of FBC so I’m unsure as to why I’m seeing this, however, this is great. A pastor once said that a church without children is the signs of a dying church. Bring in the little ones!!”
“A friend shared your post with me and wow! What a relief! Someone from leadership [at my church] called me and told me that my 18month old foster son was very distracting and then he asked me 1) Do I know we have a nursery? And 2) Why am I not utilizing it. I was livid.”
“I once heard a preacher say, ‘If I can’t preach over a crying kid, it’s time for me to stop preaching,’ when someone got up to take a loud child out of the sanctuary.”
“Not a member but I love this. When I first came to our church I was so worried cuz all of my kids are loud. When they would be loud id look at the older adults and would see smiles. Now I bring our baby in and they all love seeing him. Its so nice not to feel like I can’t sit thru a service because my baby is fussy.”
However, not everyone was on board with the sentiment, especially as the announcement began reaching a wider audience. After New York Times columnist David French reposted it, a few folks took umbrage.
“I don’t love it at all. If your child is being unruly, loud, or disruptive during a church service, you should be considerate of everyone else and step out with them. If they’re old enough, they should be disciplined appropriately. Assuming it’s acceptable to let a child scream and whine through the service is ridiculous.”
“No. When the Word of God is preached, we should have an environment that eliminates distractions. I have 5 beautiful children, but if they’re starting to fuss, or just be a normal 2-4 year-old, we remove them and take them to children’s church or out in the foyer.”
With its post about loud kids at church, First Baptist Union unintentionally sparked a fascinating debate about the presence of children in public, even in family-friendly spaces. Whether we like it or not, children come pre-packaged with noise, movement, and disruption—and it’s not always the result of poor parenting. Whether you find their childish chaos beautiful and invigorating or extremely annoying is a matter of personal taste.
One thing is for sure. With more and more breweries outright banning children and airlines separating young children from their parents during the seating process, thereby sparking wars in the economy section, it’s refreshing to see at least one place take a stand and allow kids to be seen and heard. No matter how loud.
Few people spend more time with kids than teachers. From the classroom to the playground, teachers have deep and intuitive insight into what their students’ relationships are like with their parents, and many teachers can tell when parents are invested and truly care about their kids.
In a Reddit forum, member @allsfairinwar posed the question: “Teachers of Reddit: What are some small, subtle ways you can tell a child’s parent really cares about them?”
Teachers from all education levels shared their insight. From elementary teachers to high school teachers, these educators offered their firsthand experience with students that informed them about their relationship with parents at home. These are their most powerful observations.
Hit It Bang Bang GIF by Eddie & Laura Burton Realty Group Giphy
“When the parent stops and actually looks at their kid’s art/work/listens about their day before heading home. I know everyone gets busy but damn don’t shove the art your kid is proud of right in their bag without first looking at it. We do the same piece of art for a week. They spent 2 hours on that, spare 2 minutes to show them their effort is worth something to you.” —@Worldly_Might_3183
“When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens.” —@homerbartbob
“When the parents are familiar with the child’s friends and talk to their child’s friends, I know they’re listening to their child talk about their day at school. Or when parents let slip that they got a full recap of something I said or that happened at school. I know they are having conversations with their child at home, and paying attention.” —@Pinkrivrdolphn
“When the kid is happy/quick to tell their parents about things. Not just serious or important things, but just random bullsh*t. Do I care about Minecraft? Not really. Do I care that my kid cares about Minecraft? Very much. Lay it on me kid. Spare no detail.” —@IJourden
“They let their kids fail and experience natural consequences. Good parents are preparing their children to be adults, and part of that is learning responsibility and accountability. Let your kids make mistakes and learn from them!” —@oboe_you_didnt
“You can tell a lot about home life based on students behavior the week leading up to a break. If they are happy/excited/giddy/endearingly obnoxious I know they are going somewhere safe to someone who cares. The students who don’t have that are often increasingly anxious/angry/withdrawn/acting out.” —@pulchritudinousprout
“The moment that a parent greets the child at the end of the day is very telling. Some parents clearly want to know all about their child’s day and connect with them, some don’t.” —@Smug010
“When I make positive contact home and the parent speaks glowingly about their own kid. It’s great to hear.” —@outtodryclt
“A few years back, I heard a parent ask their kid if they found someone to be kind to today. That made a real impact on me. Now I try to remind my own kids to ‘find someone to be kind to’ if I’m doing drop off and/or ask ‘Who were you kind to today?’ after school.” —@AspiringFicWriter
“When a student asks for help, they actually need the help. They are not doing it just to get your attention.”—@Typical_Importance65
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“It doesn’t always mean everything is perfect at home, but a child who is well-groomed is always a good sign. That doesn’t always mean the most fashionable clothes or perfect hair, just that the child is clean, their clothes are clean and appropriate for the weather. Also when a child knows how to celebrate their own wins and isn’t afraid of making a mistake or being wrong- that shows that their parents have modeled good emotional regulation.” —@itscornelectric
“They get them services when they’re struggling. I work with kids with disabilities and the learning outcomes/experience of school (and by extension, the greater world) for kids who have their needs met is far different to those who don’t. The number of parents who respond to a teacher saying ‘I think it might be worth John seeing an OT/a speech therapist/ getting his eyes checked’ with something along the lines of ‘f*ck you, what would you know?’ Is astounding. The parents who make appointments, share information from specialists with the school, and are proactive about their children’s abilities or disabilities – their kids see such improvements.” —@prison_industrial_co
“They ask thoughtful questions. Even something that seems routine to adults like, ‘How is/was your day?’ I’m in elementary, and it’s appropriate for kids to talk mostly about themselves. Kids who ask thoughtful questions are doing so because it’s consistently modeled. It’s also not very common (again, age appropriate egocentrism) so it stands out.” —@mundane-mondays
“When you know they’re being exposed to reading at home. Maybe they can read at a higher level or they’re mastering their sight words. For students with learning disabilities, the kids are trying their hardest to read, using context clues, using pictures and making up a story, or even making different voices for characters. When I was in a low functioning Autistic support room, this one little boy couldn’t form words, but he made noises is different voices and used dramatic face expressions on each page to represent characters talking.” —@Mediocre-Bee-9262
“Accountability. A good parent knows that their kids isn’t perfect and if the kid does something wrong (like hitting or bullying other kids) they don’t look for excuses, or for how the other kid provoked that behavior, but helps their kid understand why their behavior was hurtful.” —@SadlyNotDannyDeVito
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.
Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she’s within earshot but out of sight. These aren’t your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they’d never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.
In a viral Instagram post that’s garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child’s back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one’s true self.”
In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she’s listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:
“I’m just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.
“She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She’s always telling me, ‘Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,’” says Zephi), before concluding that she’s amazing.
“She’s amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.
People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”
Another parent shared a powerful example:
“My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, ‘He’s very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.’ The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, ‘Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.’”
Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I’d be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”
“Stop, I was just thinking last night, ‘When I have kids, I’m going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,’” another enthusiastically shared.
Children believe that conversations between adults are more u201cauthenticu201d and honest. Photo credit: Canva
Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.
“This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There’s something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they’re being genuine because they’re not saying it directly to you.”
This effectiveness stems from children’s innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child’s self-image.
These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara’s dad’s comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”
Yet, it’s crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.
Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”
The viral response to Mulwanda’s video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It’s heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn’t experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:
“To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more. If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” – Namwila Mulwanda
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
Raising a child on a cruise ship might not be the most conventional parenting choice, but it certainly comes with a view.
Just ask Ben Featherstone, who, in between singing sets aboard the MSC Virtuosa, lives with his wife and their two-year-old daughter, Piper. He documents their adventure along the way for his growing social media audience.
This globetrotting lifestyle wasn’t necessarily something Featherstone originally envisioned. In fact, when he first learned he was going to become a dad, he assumed his cruise ship performing days were behind him. The cruise line he worked for at the time didn’t allow family members to stay onboard, and understandably, fatherhood seemed incompatible with months at sea.
On a whim, he auditioned for a different cruise line. When the contract offer came through, it included an unexpected twist: immediate family members were allowed to stay onboard for up to four weeks at a time. Suddenly, what felt like an ending became a brand-new beginning.
So, Featherstone and his wife decided to give it a go. Their current routine looks a little something like this: every other month, he performs for three days while at sea. During the remaining days of that stretch, the family explores whichever port they’ve docked in—whether that’s a sun-soaked Mediterranean town or a bustling European city. After those weeks onboard, Piper and her mom, who thankfully has flexibility in her own work schedule, return to London for four weeks. Then the cycle repeats.
“Little did I know this [audition] would lead me to create a whole new lifestyle,” Featherstone shared in a video clip.
And for little Piper, life is anything but dull. When she’s not toddling through charming cobblestone streets in a new country, she’s taking full advantage of the ship’s amenities. There are water parks, splash zones, live entertainment, and seemingly endless holiday-themed festivities throughout the year. She also attends the ship’s baby club, where she socializes and plays with other children her age from all over the world. In many ways, the ship has become its own tiny, ever-changing village.
In one particularly heart-melting moment shared online, Featherstone’s castmates serenade Piper for her second birthday as crew members gather to celebrate. The video captures how this unconventional life still manages to create a sense of community. Though constantly on the move, Piper is surrounded by familiar faces who cheer her milestones and help create memories that will last a lifetime.
“What an amazing life!” one viewer commented. It’s kind of hard not to agree.
Of course, the lifestyle isn’t without its challenges. As Featherstone candidly told People, “raising a 2-year-old is quite hard either way.”
Parenting doesn’t suddenly become effortless just because there’s an ocean view. There are still tantrums, sleep schedules, and picky eating to contend with, plus the logistical puzzle of traveling with a toddler. During the four weeks when Piper and her mom return to London, Featherstone deeply feels their absence.
Still, for this family, the trade-offs feel worth it. Instead of choosing between career and parenthood, they’ve found a creative way to blend both—proving that sometimes the most custom-made paths lead to the richest experiences.
