+
upworthy
Love Stories

Women are celebrating 'self dating' using Miley Cyrus' 'Flowers' as their anthem

"When you're the boyfriend you've always wanted…"

self dating, women, tiktok

Self-dating is one of TikTok's latest trends.

Miley Cyrus' official music video for her new single "Flowers" is less than two weeks old, and it's already racked up a whopping 108 million views on YouTube. The smash hit also broke Spotify's record for the most streams in a single week, knocking K-pop superband BTS and their hit song "Butter" out of the top spot.

There's a reason "Flowers" is making waves. It's not only a catchy tune, but an empowering one, especially for women who've been socialized to believe they need a significant other to make them happy.

While most post-break-up songs are filled with heartache and lament and perhaps a bit of resentment, "Flowers" takes a different tack. While Cyrus sings about not wanting a relationship to end, she ultimately realizes she can give herself what she wants from a partner and it's incredibly liberating.


The song has become an anthem for an already existing TikTok trend of women celebrating "self dating." Rather than waiting around for someone to ask them out, women are taking themselves out—to coffee, to dinner, to bookstores, to the movies—showering themselves with love and attention and enjoying their own company.

For instance, this woman did the "date night challenge," which involves having your date blindly choose between two activities written on cards, but she did it for herself.

@justlikegilmoregirls

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do #barnesandnoble #readersunite #bookwormsoftiktok #bookdate #romancebookstiktok

Another woman demonstrated the connection between "Flowers" and Bruno Mars' "When I Was Your Man," showing how the former song appears to be a direct response to the latter. (And her caption, "Dating yourself is top tier," hit home for a lot of women, as did "When you're the boyfriend you've always wanted.")

@yourtorontolatina

Dating yourself is top tier 💗 #boyfriend #funny #selflove #selfcare #dating #loveyourself #fyp #foryou #trend #viral #flowers #mileycyrus

Some TikTok users have made self-dating into an art, sharing their whys and hows with other women.

@desireefiggins

#fyp #datejar #selflove #selfcare #dateyourself

This woman even committed to only self-dating for an entire year. She shared how she did it and what she learned about herself in the process. "Treat yourself exactly how you'd treat a partner," she shared. Excellent advice for us all.

@zabby1

Replying to @faithyyy this pretty much sums it all up! Treat yourself exactly how’d you treat a partner 🤎

As someone who has been happily married for two decades, I can attest that self-dating isn't just for singles. Self-care is empowering no matter your relationship status, and taking deliberate time to get to know yourself and give yourself what you know you need may even make you a better partner.

@bryntaponn

10/10 highly recomend. #fyp #mileycyrusflowers #selflove #selfdateideas

Having a special someone can be wonderfully fulfilling, but the idea that we need someone else to make us feel fulfilled is problematic in all kinds of ways. In my experience, the more healthy, happy and whole we are on our own, the more we are able to contribute to a relationship. So whether we're single or attached, regularly treating ourselves to a self-dating routine is a win-win for us and for whoever we may eventually end up with—even if that person is simply ourselves.

Doctors say a lot of us are showering more than we need to.

A few times in recent years, celebrities and social media influencers alike have made waves by sharing that they don't make their kids bathe every day. For some parents, that was totally par for the course, but for others, letting a child go more than a day without bathing was seen as a travesty.

Doctors have made it clear that kids don't need to bathe daily, with some going so far as to recommend against it when they are young to protect kids' delicate skin.

But what about grownups? Most of us don't take baths regularly as adults, but what's the ideal frequency for showering?

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

In a thermostat war? The ideal room temperature for work is warmer than you might think.

And it's not just a stereotype that men and women tend to differ on this front.

Photo (left) by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash, Photo (right) by Sean D on Unsplash

How warm should an office be for optimal productivity?

For a species that evolved in a wide range of climates and conditions and had little ability to choose the temperature around us until recently, humans are awfully persnickety about our thermostat settings. Some of us are so sensitive to temperature fluctuations we can tell if someone has raised or lowered it by a degree or two—a reality that set the stage for many a workplace thermostat war.

If you think 68 degrees is the optimal room temperature in the office and start sweating at your desk when it hits 72, you're not alone. And if 68 degrees has you putting on your parka and begging the office manager for a nice, balmy 77, you're also not alone.

Obviously, there's a huge range of preferences, but is there an optimal room temperature for work productivity? And if so, what is it?

Keep ReadingShow less
Sergio Reis/Youtube

Odds are you’ve heard Wally de Backer, aka Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.”

It’s the Australian musician’s biggest commercial hit, selling more than 20 million copies since its release in 2011, making it one of the best-selling digital singles of all time. Not to mention it inspired several amazing covers, which you might have also stumbled upon.

The music video, in its poignant simplicity, is every bit as iconic.

Gotye stands naked facing the camera, as featured singer Kimbra faces him. As they sing, they are slowly “painted” into and out of the background of geometric shapes using stop motion animation. There’s a very Wes Anderson feel to it that adds so much to the story told in the song, making it all the more memorable.

All this to say…it would be a challenge to recreate the magic that’s so inherent in the original. And yet, one dance company has clearly understood the assignment.

Keep ReadingShow less
Education

How one goat herder started humanity's centuries-long coffee craze

The world's favorite drink has a rich, robust history.

Representative Image from Canva

Goats are the GOAT for discovering coffee.

Had a cup of coffee today? If yes, you are part of the world’s 4.83 billion coffee drinkers. That’s approximately 60% of our entire adult population.

Coffee is virtually everywhere, in various different forms. A dark roast americano at the press of a button at home. Fancy lattes at the nearest coffee shop, of which there are two more across the street. The cheap, diluted stuff from the gas station. The possibilities are endless.

Coffee is so commonplace now that it’s almost hard to fathom a time before it…a time when people had to either take a nap or surrender to being tired all day (those were the real dark times).

But just like every modern day convenience, coffee has an origin story. And a pretty interesting one at that.
Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Meals on Wheels launches new initiative in effort to keep seniors and pets together

"I think most people would feed their pets before they feed themselves. So, this helps minimize that from happening."

Meals on Wheels now includes pet food to keep seniors and pets together.

Pets make amazing companions. They not only keep you company but it's been proven that they are great emotional support. Many senior citizens take comfort in having a furry friend around when they're living alone or caregiving for an ailing partner.

But having a pet can become a financial burden that not all elderly people can afford. Instead of doing the unimaginable, giving up their pet, some elderly people will go without eating to make sure their pets have food. Many senior citizens are on a fixed income, causing them to make difficult financial decisions including forgoing important medications and feeding their pets.

Programs like Meals on Wheels make sure that elderly individuals are eating at least one hot meal a day, and it's free of charge. Meals on Wheels is a national program that reduces elderly hunger while also helping to provide elderly people living alone with human contact.

Keep ReadingShow less
Representative images from Canva

Could have been worse. At least it wasn't a rooster.

There’s always that one wedding guest, isn’t there?

For Amy and Harry, their problematic wedding guest wasn’t even technically invited…or human.

As seen in a hilarious now-viral video posted to Instagram by Something Borrowed Films, Amy and Harry’s wedding photographer, the bride and groom stand before the officiant, surrounded by loved ones and the picturesque green fields of their outdoor ceremony venue.

All seems straight out of a fairytale as the officiant begins to ask if anyone has any objections to the partnership. When out of nowhere, a loud “MOOOOOOOOOOO” rings through the air.
Keep ReadingShow less