Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.
There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.
For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.
Riz W Sign GIF Giphy
And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.
"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.
"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."
"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."
"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."
Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva
People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."
"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"
"Described this millennial to a T."
"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"
"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"
"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"
"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."
"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"
"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"
Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.
You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.
This article originally appeared last year.
Ava's Kitchen leaves a bit to be desired in the customer service department.
Toddlers can be a handful, but they're also the absolute best, with their tiny little adorableness, their burgeoning vocabulary, and their slowly evolving understanding of the world. Their imaginations are something else, and spending time in a wee one's world is always an unpredictable treat. Being the parent of a toddler is a unique joy that only lasts for a fleeting season, so you have to take full advantage of it while you can. And one dad has clearly done just that.
Christopher Kyle is father to Ava, who at 18 months old treated her dad to a meal at her sit-down restaurant. Only according to Kyle, the service left much to be desired. In a post on Instagram, Kyle shared a photo of Ava in her play kitchen while he sat waiting for his food in a tiny chair at a tiny table.
The father/customer wrote:
"So I tried to support another Black Owned Business for lunch today. It's called Ava's Kitchen, just opened end of April. It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner.
First off, I asked why there are balloons on my chair, and it's not my birthday? She talm'bout, mind yah business; those are Mommy's.
I been waiting on my order to get done for 45 minutes, and I'm the only customer here. She was making good progress at first, then she stopped for 20 minutes to go watch Paw Patrol.
Paw Patrol Dog GIF by Xbox Giphy
Overall the customer service could be better, but the cook is a cutie; so I'll give her another chance. Let's not give up on Black businesses so fast after one mistake. 💕"
People absolutely loved this dad's humor and clearly stellar parenting skills. Anyone who has sat through a tea party—or any activity with the wee ones—knows that for all of its cuteness, toddler play is an exercise in patience and endurance.
Upworthy shared Kyle's story on our Instagram page and our readers did not disappoint.
Some played right along with the game:
"Starting a restaurant is tough.. give her a chance ❤️❤️"
"I mean, she started a restaurant during a global pandemic, give her a break 😂"
"Is she taking reservations?"
Fans of Paw Patrol had some words:
"Paw Patrol is a must watch so 🤷🏾♀️😂"
"I died at Paw Patrol 🤣🤣🤣 that's my show though. I don't have kids I just watch it just because lmao."
"Paw Patrol break is mandatory. Too cute! ♥️"
Others just gushed over the entire scene:
"Love EVERYTHING about this!! The adorable owner, the customer's humor and the incredible love."
"That's the cutest restaurant owner I've ever seen. The dad's face is priceless! 😂👍❤️"
"LoL the story is funny & beautiful!!! This warms my heart!! This babygirl will grow up to have such a healthy look at men (in any capacity) as long as she & her Daddy keep such a beautiful bond!! Happy Father's Day (early) Keep encouraging her to do her thing and her confidence will continue to soar!! I just love this!! 😍😍😍"
Since that post went viral, Ava and her dad have had some other creative adventures, including building things at Home Depot's free kids weekend workshop:
Will Ava be a restaurant owner, a carpenter, or something totally different when she grows up? Who knows, but with her dad's support, no doubt she'll build success wherever she ends up.
This article originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.
Making these 5 simple changes will get your teen to share more with you
Raising teens is not for the faint of heart, and getting them to share more than "fine" when inquiring about their day can feel nearly impossible. But communicating with your teen doesn't have to feel like a trip to the dentist. If you make just a few small adjustments, you'll notice that conversations start flowing more smoothly.
Before we proceed, I'd like to ease your mind. As a therapist who has spent more than a decade working with teens, I can tell you: they're listening. It may not seem like it, especially if you have a boundary tester, but they hear what you tell them and know that you're trying to protect them. But there is a common theme to their complaints: they don't feel heard, they feel like their parents talk at them instead of to them, and a big one is that they fear being judged, subsequently disappointing their parents.
Heated conversation in the living room.Photo credit: Canva
Teenagers are in a unique stage in not only brain development but also social, emotional, and biological development as well. There are a lot of things going on inside their brains and bodies that need to be acknowledged. From the ages of 12-18 kids experience a psychosocial developmental stage called "Identity vs Role Confusion," according to famed psychoanalyst Erick Erikson. During this stage of development, teens are figuring out who they are and what they believe in, independent of their parents.
This is also a time when they pull away from their parents to seek more advice and validation from their peers, which is generally where the breakdown happens. "Fine" becomes the standard answer to nearly any question a curious parent hoping for a glimmer of communication can think to ask. If you want to avoid the dreaded "fine," here are some things you could try to get your teen to open up.
Carpooling with friends, enjoying the ride! 🚗📱😊Photo credit: Canva
Trap them in the car
Kidding. Don't actually "trap" them in the car, but if you want to get a few extra words out of your teen, the car is a great place to dig a little deeper. We still want to approach topics with care and thoughtfulness, but I've found that when the teen isn't pressured to have eye contact or see their parent's expression to something they've said, they tend to tell you more. But it's on you to know what to ask. Instead of, "How was school?" ask a more probing question.
Sometimes, asking them to tell you about something exciting, funny or interesting that happened will result in them spilling a lot more details about their day. If you know they've been struggling with a class or teacher, feel free to ask them if the teacher is still being a turd. It may sound silly, but little things like that let them know you're on their side and frees the air for them to voice grievances.
Try not to make talks into a production
This well-intentioned method of having big conversations can really stifle communication with teenagers. Sitting them down at the kitchen table across from both of their parents to talk about sex or drugs can feel a lot like getting called into the principal's office. Important talks don't need to be formal; they can happen just about anywhere. And if you didn't start off having chats like that early and often, you can start now.
If there's a way for you both to be busy while talking, it will help dissipate any nervous energy that might come up. This means chatting while cooking dinner together, putting together a puzzle, or pulling weeds takes the formality out of the conversation and you might even be surprised with their own questions.
Mother and daughter sharing a thoughtful moment at home.Photo credit: Canva
Put your tool belt away, you're not Bob the Builder
When your teen finally opens up about an issue, they don't always want you to fix it. In fact, jumping right into "fix-it" mode can be a quick way to get your teen to clam up, especially if fixing it means having some harsh words with the person you feel hurt your child. Believe it or not, teenagers are capable of problem-solving! They've been watching you do it all their lives.
A great way to build on the trust that comes with open communication is by asking your child how they want to be supported. You can do this by asking, "Do you want my advice or do you just want me to listen?" This question goes a long way because it's showing them that you trust them to not only know what they need in the moment but to fix their own problem. It will also help build their confidence when interacting with peers outside of the home.
Mother and daughter enjoying a tablet together on a cozy bed.Photo credit: Canva
You were once a teenager—but you're not now
Parents all over are guilty of this, myself included. It's natural to see someone going through something similar to what you experienced and automatically pull on your imaginary suspenders, breathe deeply and say, "Back in my day." Yes, the anecdote might be relevant. It might even be helpful, but if they didn't ask or expressly give permission after you've asked, it's not a bad idea to keep it to yourself.
If every time your teen comes to you with a problem you relive your glory days, they'll suddenly have far fewer problems that they need help addressing. They want to know about your life as a teenager, which lets them know a different side of you, but they don't want to know when they're actively struggling. They'll ask when they're ready for you to pull out those suspenders and a good piece of straw to chew on.
Practice your poker face
You know that high-pitched noise your ears sometimes make for seemingly no reason? There have been more than a few times that I've wished for that temporary break in hearing when my own teens overshared details about their personal lives. But when your teen is opening up about something important to them, it's not the time for judgment. That includes your face.
Instead of a wide-eyed gasp, practice with a friend or partner reacting to the most ridiculous information with a straight face and curiosity. This will help if your kid comes home from a sleepover with Ronald McDonald red hair or when they tell you that they snuck into the liquor cabinet and got sick from too much tequila. Learning to keep a neutral face will also help them feel safe if something more life-changing happens, like a teen pregnancy, drug use, or coming out as LGBTQ.
Two friends enjoying a heartfelt conversation on the couch.Photo credit: Canva
Learning to keep the judgment off of your face and out of your voice will go a long way. Following their confession by identifying and validating their feelings will help to disarm the defenses they likely put up before they spilled their secret. Not sure what to say? Something like, "That must've been scary. How are you feeling now?" works well because it allows them a chance to reflect. The point is for them to feel heard and supported. Of course, some of these revelations may require consequences if there's something egregious that occurred, but for the most part, this is unlocking a sacred sharing of trust and information.
Bonus: Your child's business is theirs to share, not yours
This is one that many parents are guilty of whether it's good news, bad news or embarrassing news. Some parents have a bad habit of sharing their teenager's information without their permission and, sometimes, without thought about how their child may feel. During my work with teens, this came up a lot. Teens were mortified that their great aunt knew they'd had their first kiss or started their period.
Sharing smiles and stories in the park. 📱😊Photo credit: Canva
A good rule to follow to maintain trust in this area is to ask if you would want that information shared about you. If you're unsure, ask your child. If you are sure, ask your child. Basically, anything beyond them having a stellar report card should be a quick check in with your kid. Maybe they wanted to share the news first or maybe they don't want anyone to know the news at all. Keeping things under wraps until your teen gives the okay will preserve the trust and communication you've worked so hard to build.
This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.
Cecily Knobler
Warren and Sandy pose for a photo.
At 91 years old, many feel the odds are against them for falling in love with someone brand new—especially once they’ve moved into a senior living facility. And yet…
Sandy and Warren were married for over 50 years. The thing is, not to each other. They each lived full, beautiful lives with their spouses but lost them years ago. Life went on with both of them having fulfilling years brimming with kids, grandkids, friendships, volunteer work, and church. Perhaps they each thought new love, like lightning, couldn't possibly strike in the same place twice.
That is until one day when their eyes locked. They were on the Reserve at North Dallas Senior Living facility van, en route to their respective churches (his, Northpark Presbyterian; hers, Trinity Fellowship). The van driver, Chad, asked if they knew one another, and they didn't. But just like that...they did.
"The very first thing I noticed about him," Sandy shares, "was his head full of white hair. It was beautiful! A little bit later on, I noticed his piercing blue eyes." She laughs and adds, "I'm not sure what he thought about me!"
Warren jumps in as they're on speakerphone. "She just enticed me! Her overall appearance and her hair all nice." Here, Sandy (who is all of us in this moment) eggs him on. "My smile?" And he concurs, "It's terrific and so welcoming. And I thought that was outstanding. So one thing led to another and we seemed to gravitate toward each other."
Warren and Sandy happily post after signing their marriage license. Photo Credit: Mickie McGregor
Two weeks later, on Valentine's Day to be exact, Sandy was having breakfast in the dining hall. Warren asked if he could join her at her table. Sandy beams, "Ever since, we've been an item!"
They were essentially the prom king and queen of the senior home. Their time together began to multiply. They "Netflix and Chill," of course, but they go out, too. Warren was especially excited to take her to a Casa de Vida gathering, which is an Alzheimer's respite program where he volunteers every week through his church.
Each minute spent together was making them more and more certain they'd found their "person." One day, as they were cruising (with Sandy on a walker) down the long hallways that lead to the elevator, Warren had something on his mind. "I don't know what got into me, but I decided I'd been meaning to tell her something. She was getting ready to get on the elevator and I said, 'I think I'm beginning to fall in love with you.' That kind of shocked her!"
Sandy jokes that at the time, she said "Do what?" Because it was the elevator and many others might soon be joining them, she told Warren, "Okay, let's talk about this tomorrow! So we did…and here we are."
Sandy poses for a photo.Cecily Knobler
Next thing they knew, they were ordering wedding bands! Their love is so strong, it kind of blurs the details of the actual proposal. Sandy shares, "We were sitting on the couch and it seemed like we were talking about cuddling and I probably said something to the effect of, 'Well I want more.' There was no big proposal, we just kinda knew we loved each other and wanted to be together and live together. So that's how it kinda happened."
So, he didn't get on bended knee? Sandy laughs, "No, because he might not be able to get back up!"
They will be joined by many of their family members (who Sandy points out "highly approve" of the union) at a private ceremony with Warren's pastor. The celebratory reception at The Reserve will be held soon after, which they love for both sentimental and practical reasons.
"Since most people who live there don't drive," Sandy pointed out, "having it there will enable them to come. But it will also enable me, if I want to come to my apartment and take a rest."
They both agree, holding back joyful tears, that their meeting was divine intervention. Sandy shares, "We know that God has put us together. We're very thankful for that and feel blessed. For whatever time we have left, we want to be together and share our memories and our love."
Sandy and Warren fell in love post 80. Cecily Knobler
"We'd love to be a good example to other couples," Sandy imparts. "And my advice to everyone is—to never, ever give up."
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