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The 4 most ridiculous arguments people use to defend Bill Cosby, presented by Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer defends Cliff Huxtable in the court of public opinion. See if you can answer the question at the bottom of the page.Disclaimer: This is satire. She's not defending him for reals.

On a recent episode of "Inside Amy Schumer," Schumer came to Cosby's defense ... and brilliantly highlighted how weak the arguments defending him are.

In the sketch, Schumer plays Cosby's defense lawyer in a pretend trial in the "Court of Public Opinion." She used the segment to highlight the problems with the arguments people have used to defend him over the past year as 30 different women have come out publicly to share their stories of assault.

The thing that Schumer so brilliantly emphasizes with this sketch is why people want to believe that Bill Cosby is innocent, despite overwhelming claims otherwise.



Argument #1: "The Cosby Show" was so much fun.

All clips via "Inside Amy Schumer."

The quality of a TV show has nothing to do with what the actors did off-screen. You can still feel nostalgic when you think of "The Cosby Show." But using that nostalgia as a reason why Bill Cosby couldn't possibly have drugged and raped dozens of women over several decades just doesn't compute.

Argument #2: "I'm tired of hearing about it. The women all have the same story."

When other crimes are committed, if 30 people have the same story about a person committing a crime, that can be incriminating against that person. Not a reason to dismiss the charges.

Argument #3: Cliff Huxtable is basically America's dad. He can't be guilty.

Bill Cosby is not "basically" Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable. Huxtable was a character Cosby played on TV. Huxtable didn't allegedly drug and rape women. Cosby on the other hand...

Argument #4: We don't want to punish ourselves for loving a show with a bad guy in charge. So, he can't be bad.

This right here is my favorite argument (inasmuch as you can have a favorite argument in a story like this). It shows how much people who defend Cosby and other high-profile men who might have committed similar crimes prefer to pretend the accusations don't exist so that their mental picture of high-profile image remains untarnished.

Denial is why so many people don't believe all the women coming forward. In most of these cases, the statute of limitations is up and almost none of the women can pursue formal charges in an actual court.

So, remember, Bill Cosby and Cliff Huxtable are two different people.

Separate the two.

Cliff Huxtable was America's dad. He was a fictitious character created for a television show. He is not Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby is a famous comedian with a history of alleged (and witnessed) serious, disturbing behavior. Cosby has a history of attacking people who disagree with him, once bullying a graduating college football player to tears for not having a flawless GPA (even though Cosby has never earned an undergraduate college degree and got his masters and doctorate under suspicious circumstances). He made staff members of "The Late Show with David Letterman" watch him eat curry (it's too weird to make up). He is not Cliff Huxtable.

When people defend Cosby, there are two things you should ask them:

1. What's more important?

Is it more important that we, the audience, enjoy a trip down nostalgia lane with an episode of a TV show starring a horrible human, or is it more important that we acknowledge the accusers making these numerous claims, allowing them to be heard?

The women who have come forward may never get a trial, but at least we can hear them out with objectivity and compassion in the court of public opinion. These women had the same feelings about Cosby that most of us did, and they trusted him enough to be alone with him.

2. Would you think twice before accepting a drink from Bill Cosby?

(And if you're not a woman, would you want your sister or daughter or female friend to accept a drink from him?)

Yeah. That's what I thought.

The "defense" rests. Thank you, Ms. Schumer, Esq.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

I have plenty of space.

This article originally appeared on 04.09.16


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