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Teacher goes viral after sharing signs of 'subtle bullying' she sees in her classroom

These behaviors might be harder to spot, but just as important to stop in their tracks.

bullying at school, indirect bullying, how to stop bullying, how to spot bullying
@stillateacher/TikTok

Whetehr subtle or over, bullying cannot be tolerated

When we think of bullying, we might first picture wedgies, dunking heads in toilets, stuffing folks in lockers…the kind of stuff you’d see in virtually every kid’s movie in the 90s.

But in real life, bullying can be much more insidious.

Ms. C, a teacher who previously went viral for sharing the high school cliques that have endured the test of time, recently coined a term for this type of behavior, which she called “subtle bullying,” and explained what it might look like in a classroom.

“Here's what it looks like, a student that is less popular, maybe has a disability, will be talking and a kid who is a bully will be looking at all of his friends across the room and snickering and making little faces,” she says in the video.


“I will lose it if I see that,” she continues, saying that while she is “chill” with a lot of things, like cursing, eating in class, student’s addressing her by her first name, even sass to a certain degree, this is her “number one” behavior that will not be tolerated.

To address the issue, Ms. C usually stands “directly by the bully's desk and stares them in the eyes the whole time that other student is talking.” Or she’ll throw them out of the room. The only other time she might do that is if there’s a safety threat. And it seems clear that in her opinion, subtle bullying is a safety threat.

“If you are a teacher and you are not fiercely protecting your most vulnerable students, what are you doing?” she concludes.

@stillateacher basically we’re gonna learn and respect each other #teacher #teachertok #teachersoftiktok #highschoolteacher #teacherlife ♬ original sound - Ms. C

Subtle bullying, according to Ms C, also includes “racism, sexism, homophobia,” which warrants “an intense one-on-one conversation” that hopefully resolves the issue. But if it doesn’t, she gets others involved until the student recognizes the comment was “unacceptable.”

Ms C’s video got a lot of comments from fellow teachers confirming how common this type of bullying is, or anecdotes from folks who were on the receiving end of it.

“The subtle bullying is such an issue. I saw it so much when I subbed,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I’m so glad you can actually spot subtle bullying like that. My teachers would actively tell me it wasn’t happening when I’d try to talk to them about it.”

“Subtle bullying is so bad! We did karaoke in class and had to stop because of popular bullies 'encouraging' and recording,'' one person shared, while another wrote, “Subtle bullying for seven years took me most of a decade to get over. Ruins your self confidence. You are changing lives!”

Subtle bullying might be harder to spot, but it’s every bit as damaging as physical violence or name-calling, and therefore every bit as important to address. In a follow-up video, Ms C. offers a helpful tip for teachers when it comes to spotting this type of behavior.

She suggests giving students a survey where they answer if there’s anyone one they’d rather not sit by (tell them it is completely confidential). If there is a student who has been bullying others, their name will come up repeatedly. Obviously it’s not a foolproof perfect strategy, but it’s a starting point.

The one constant in bullying, whether it’s subtle or overt, is that it’s not acceptable. And it’s the responsibility of the adults in a child’s life—parents, faulty, teachers—to make sure that it doesn’t become a habit that carries over into adulthood.

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There's a new personality type called the 'otrovert' and one major trait sets it apart

"I feel seen for the first time in my life!"

crowd, unique, personality type, nonconformist
Photo Credit: Canva

A person stands out in a crowd.

So many of us have the desire to compartmentalize our personality traits into neat little boxes. "Oh, she's such an INFJ. Oh, he's such a Gemini." Some of it is rooted (well sort of) in psychology, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, based loosely on Jungian ideas. Others rely on arguably less scientific data like stars and "rising signs." Humans aren't usually that simple.

That said, there's still value in understanding one's own personality and inclinations. Here's a confession: I've taken countless personality tests because I just couldn't figure out if I was an extrovert or an introvert. Neither description quite fit, and as someone constantly trying to understand what makes me tick, this has been frustrating.

Turns out, there are other options. The term "ambivert" got popularized in the 1930s (after being coined by Edmund S. Conklin in 1923), and it refers to a person "who has features of both an introvert (someone who prefers to spend time alone) and an extrovert (someone who prefers to be with other people) in their personality."

@tedtoks

Replying to @Factura🛄 now knowing what an ambivert is, how would you describe yourself? #ambivert #introvert #extrovert #adamgrant #psychology #TEDTalk #worklife

But for those who still don't quite relate, meet the otrovert. Just recently, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski published The Gift of Not Belonging, in which he discusses his coined term to describe a whole new type of personality. In an Insta-reel captioned "What is an Otrovert?" Kaminski mentions the polarization of introverts and extroverts. "When Jung invented the terms extrovert and introvert, he saw them as two fundamental orientations of the personality. I see the otrovert in the same way. A personality trait that faces away from the group."

He continues, "Extroverts and introverts are inherently communal, while the otrovert is an outsider to the group. In itself, it is not a problem or condition, nor is it a diagnostic label. It simply means that while most people learn to develop a sense of belonging to a specific group through social conditioning, otroverts remain social but not communal."

In writer Sarjna Rai's piece, "Struggle to Fit the Mold? The 'Otrovert' Personality Explains Why" for Business Standard, they write: "Unlike introverts or extroverts, otroverts are not defined by where they draw their social energy. Instead, the concept captures people who constantly feel like outsiders, and tend to look in a different direction altogether, not necessarily aligned with the rest of the group."

While it's impossible to group people into perfect categories, Rai explains that Kaminski claims the main thing that sets otroverts apart is their "reluctance to conform to group norms."

Writer Avery White lists signs one might be an otrovert in the article "7 Signs You Might Be an Otrovert" for VegOut. Among them is preferring "high-signal conversations and low-maintenance relationships." They give this as an example: "You’ll happily spend three hours exploring one idea with one person—and then not speak for weeks without either of you taking it personally. In other words, low pressure, low expectations, high connection.

Another on the list—and this is a big one according to Kaminski—is: "You can look extroverted in public—yet feel fundamentally 'other.'" This is actually the crux of the term, and in fact, what Kaminski formed The Otherness Institute for: as their website says, "those who feel they don't belong."

The site also shares that recognizing aspects of this type in yourself and others (if it applies) will help "balance between your individuality and your function as part of the social matrix that determines your well-being. The experience of otherness in a togetherness-minded world can be emotionally bruising. Often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, otherness may lead individuals to feel strange, lonely, and unwelcome in groups. Left unidentified, otroverts' non-belonging can result in a frustrating, futile lifetime effort of trying to 'fit in.'"

Some Redditors are scrambling to figure out if they fit into this category. In the subreddit r/INTP (referencing one of the Myers-Briggs personality types), the OP asks, "Maybe I am an 'otrovert?'" Under this, they write, "Dr. Kaminski described the otrovert child as 'neurotypical, friendly, curious, well-adjusted, and often popular' yet 'they resist being pressured into group activities.'"

While this can seem inconsequential in childhood, joining the peer group "becomes critically important" in adolescence, said the psychiatrist, and teens "start to gauge their self-worth based on the group’s ranking of popularity (or unpopularity).'

"Membership in a group, no matter how lowly, is better than being an outsider," he added. "Otroverts, however, are comfortable with being outsiders and find it impossible to feel like insiders, regardless of how welcome they are.'

There are a handful of commenters who feel seen, but many push back, claiming the term could easily apply to other personality traits. One writes, "I think it's easy to resonate with this description... but as some warning noted, there aren't enough studies done about this term that people should be running to adopt it. I resonated with it after reading about it... But I have ADHD and persistent depressive disorder... both of which coincide with the descriptions of an otrovert."

Time will tell if this new term sticks, but for now, it's helping a lot of people feel more understood.

This article originally appeared last year.


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Gen Xers and Millennials share the 'distinct smells' from the '90s that defined the decade

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights."

90s smells, scents of the 90s, bath and body works 90s, cucumber melon, runts, runts candy
Images via Reddit/Dove04

Gen Xers and Millennials describe what the '90s smelled like, from Bath & Body Works' Cucumber Melon to banana-flavored Runts.

The '90s were a decade like no other. With TV psychics, parachutes in gym class, and iconic TV shows binged during sick days, the era was packed with uniquely memorable moments that Generation X and Millennials still feel nostalgic about today.

Beyond the epic CDs and cartoons, the '90s were also defined by specific scents. Gen Xers and Millennials on Reddit recently discussed the nostalgic smells of the decade—from specific foods like banana-flavored Runts to the distinct scent of roller-rink carpet and classic Bath & Body Works fragrances. Here's what they had to say:

@jennaabarclay

‘90s bath & body works scents WITH the ‘90s label 🥹 the nostalgia hit so hard and I’m so happy #90s #bathandbodyworks

"Cigarettes and this [roller rink] carpet….Ahhhhh memories." - Battlerapschef

"And teen spirit." - UbermachoGuy

"5 year old Runts in the quarter vending machine. Banana." - 9829eisB09E83C

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights." - Heatherjjjjjjjj

"This nasty [Glad Country Garden] potpourri spray. I can hear the very specific sound that spray made with its thick *ss pressed button. CHSHHHHH." - abby-rose, Constant-Net-4652, D4FF00

"[Victoria's Secret] Love Spell." - a_solid_6

" McDonald's happy meal toys had a certain smell that I can remember to this day. Probably poison." - ogmoss

"CK one everywhere." - snn1326j

"Clove cigarettes and espresso. Especially for goths." - Lost_Balloon_, Vesper2000

"Let's not forget Drakkar Noir." - Technical-Donut-7354

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LA Looks hair gel." - FarAd1429

"Electronics. The smell of cathode ray monitors and TVs, Blockbuster VHS tape boxes, the inside of Nintendo cartridges when you blew the dust out, etc." - oceanicwhitetip

"Fresh vinyl from blowup furniture." - Asterclad

"Herbal Essence." - barcham22

"The 90's had a number of unique smells. Especially if you were a kid. Lots of toys had these weird off gassing smells, like the creepy crawlers set. Sort of a sweet plastic smell. We also had the blessing of grandparents old Christmas decorations that smelled different from the stuff manufactured overseas today. The things our grandparents stored were probably slightly toxic but had a very, very nostalgic energy to them. You could almost smell the past." - TrillDough

"Like dew evaporating off the pavement." - zekerthedog

"Nautica, Cool Water, Hugo Boss, Curve and Polo Sport." - GurrenLagann214

"Apple shampoo, mall food courts, and movie theater popcorn." - thatmattschultz

@tara_town

The smells of our childhood 🥰 #90s #2000s #millennial #nostalgia

"Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers or Gap Grass." - Apprehensive-Stay196

"The smell from traffic…inescapable. Before catalytic converters were regulated you could smell transportation on you. Go stand in a busy covered parking garage and you will get a hint of what the cities smelled like." - h1storyguy

"LEMON PLEDGE!!!!!" - BlackDynamite58990

"I remember many girls almost choking us with their vanilla perfume. God it was sickening." - fettoter84

"Little incense candles inside incense warmers. Bong hits filtered thru a shampoo bottle stuffed with dryer sheets. Ralph Lauren Polo. JOOP! Any cologne/perfume sample from a magazine. Marlboro Lights. Empty Busch Light cans. And the sweet sweet smell of slacking..." - Live_Past_8978

"The inside spine of a plastic VHS tape cover." - canoe4you

"Wet JNCO's and wet barefoot sandals with a mix of Polo or Pear Berry Splash and cigarette smoke." - xxMalVeauXxx

"Fruitopia." - No_Tart686

"Go into a old school bowling alley and that's exactly what 90's smelled like." - ItsBal707

"And Extra chewing gum." - Ill-Emu-1121

"Sbarro pizza in a mall. That weird smell of water from a hose in the heat. Sunblock. The smell of a new Gameboy game." - Eris_Balm

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Animals & Wildlife

Woman says we are 'severely underreacting' to octopuses, then proves she's not wrong

"However impressed or fascinated you are by octopuses, it's honestly probably not enough."

octopus, octopuses, wildlife, ocean life, marine life
Photo credit: Canva

Octopuses are just wildly interesting creatures.

What creatures have eight legs, nine brains, and dozens of fun and fascinating facts about them? Octopuses, of course. (Wait, is octopuses or octopi? Octopodes, perhaps?)

However interesting we think our suction-cupped, cephalopodic friends are, we're probably selling them short. That's the contention of Sarah, a comedic content creator on TikTok who's been sharing everything she's learned about octopuses, because they're far more bizarre than we might think.

"However impressed or fascinated you are by octopuses, it's honestly probably not enough," she says. "We are severely underreacting to octopuses collectively."

Once you see her video, it's clear she's not wrong.

@sarahmakesmelaugh

Octopuses are fascinating and I DO want to hold a tiny guy if possible just putting that out in to the universe 😬🐙#creatorsearchinsights #octopus #weirdanimals #animalfacts #didyouknow

With a hilariously understated sense of humor, Sarah shares facts like the idea that octopuses don't have tentacles, as many of us have been led to believe, but arms instead. Tentacles have suckers only at the end, while an octopus's arms have them from top to bottom.

"They decorate their front yards with shells and other shiny things they find in the ocean," Sarah says, adding, "I wonder if they judge other octopuses for how they decorate their front yard. Like, is there an octopus HOA?"

Sarah points out that The Beatles' song "Octopus's Garden" was inspired by this delightful fact.

Many of us know that octopuses are smart, but we may not know that they have a brain in each arm in addition to the brain in their heads, which is shaped like a donut. They can solve mazes and complete tricky tasks. And if their beak can fit through a hole, so can their whole body.

"So a fully grown giant Pacific octopus, which can literally be 30 feet long, can fit through a hole the size of a lemon," says Sarah. "And I don't care for that, particularly. I would never say that to an octopus's face because, evidently, they can recognize us, which I find unsettling. Note to self: Do not be mean to an octopus."

Because each arm has its own brain, it can operate independently, complete with its own sensory system.

Octopus, octopus arms, ocean life, marine life, octopus brains Each of those arms has its own brain?Photo credit: Canva

"I feel like they're smarter than us," Sarah says. "Are we confident they're not smarter than us? For instance, they will prank their prey. You know the joke where like old men will tap you on one shoulder, but surprise, they're at the other shoulder? Octopus do that. If they're hunting a shrimp, they'll tap it on the faraway shoulder so the shrimp runs directly into them. Like, 'gotcha!' I don't want octopus to do gotcha."

On a positive note, Sarah shows some examples of exquisitely colorful octopuses, though some of the most "fancy and beautiful" ones are also highly venomous.

That may have been the end of Sarah's video, but she wasn't finished. There's a part two that features blanket octopuses, the female superheroes of the sea. And that's not even the wildest part:

@sarahmakesmelaugh

Replying to @LalainID did yall know about the blanket octopus and didn’t tell me? Except those of you who did thank you 😂 #octopus #animalfacts #science #learnontiktok #learnwithme


A male blanket octopus is basically an inch tall and the female can grow to over six feet. The males can fit inside the pupil of the female's eye. What?! Basically, their only job is to produce sperm, which just raises way too many questions.

Sarah also talks about the mimic octopus, which she calls "the Jafar of the ocean" because it's basically a sorcerer (and one of them genuinely looks like Jafar from Aladdin).

That wasn't all. Even after the second video, she still wasn't done. Part three was every bit as fascinating, terrifying, wonderful, and chuckle-worthy as the first two (and also slightly NSFW in the most PG way possible):

@sarahmakesmelaugh

More Octopus species, this could go on forever y’all 😂 #octopus #weirdanimals #learnwithme #funfacts #creatorsearchinsights

The blob octopus? Who even knew? The eighth-arm situation is too much. Sarah was 100% right. We are, collectively, not reacting to octopuses nearly as strongly as we should be.

You can follow Sarah (@SarahMakesMeLaugh) on TikTok.

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6th grader's science fair project answers age-old question: 'Do cat buttholes touch everything?'

The world needs to know.

cats; pets; cat lovers; cat parents; cats on counters; cat butts, pets, animals, humor, funny, science
Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners are a special breed. Sometimes when dealing with feline friends, they have unique questions that even Google can't seem to answer. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but in 2021, one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, then a sixth grader, bravely pondered a question few (if any) have been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

cats; pets; cat lovers; cat parents; cats on counters; cat butts, pets, animals, humor, funny, science The scientific method as it was meant to be used. Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader was homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to his mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

The experiment

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

cats; pets; cat lovers; cat parents; cats on counters; cat butts, pets, animals, humor, funny, science What are you planning on doing with that lipstick?Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on

Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).


"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that, as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Huzzah, science!

cats; pets; cat lovers; cat parents; cats on counters; cat butts, pets, animals, humor, funny, science You want me to sit on that?Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

cats; pets; cat lovers; cat parents; cats on counters; cat butts, pets, animals, humor, funny, science High five for an A+! Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

The best part of the story? Even with her Ph.D. in animal behavior, specializing in feline behavior, Kerry learned something new. The power of science!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Body Image

This plus size figure skater is uplifting girls everywhere with her astonishing moves

An incredible display of grace and athleticism.

figure skating, skater, ice skating, plus size, inspiration, girls
Canva Photos

Figure skater Laine Dubin doesn't fit the stereotypical mold, and that's why young skaters love her.

The winter Olympic viewership numbers don't lie: Figure skating is one of the most beloved sports in the world. Honestly, is there anything more beautiful and graceful? It's got the gorgeous aesthetics of gymnastics and dance combined with an almost other-worldliness as the skaters glide and fly around the ice. There's a reason people can't seem to look away from the rink when the Olympics roll around every couple of years.

However, the sport of ice skating comes with certain expectations or even stereotypes of what the skaters body should look like. For women, most high level skaters are almost always extremely petite and slight. It stands to reason that this body type must be a requirement to perform at a high level, right?

Wrong. Laine Dubin is one skater who's out to prove that there's no "right way" for an athlete to look.

figure skating, skater, ice skating, plus size, inspiration, girls There's no one right way for an athlete to look. Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

Dubin, most recently a student at Quinnipiac University where she was a standout on the skating team, began posting videos of her routines online in 2018. Believe it or not, she didn't set out to start a body-positive revolution—she just wanted to document her progress and free up some space on her phone.

But almost instantly, she began to develop a following. No one had ever seen anyone like her pulling off the moves that she could, all with so much personality and showmanship that sucked people in. Not only that, but Dubin displays outstanding power and grace on the ice. If you've only ever watched the "prototypical" Olympic skaters perform, what Dubin does almost looks impossible. It's really amazing to behold.

One clip in particular recently went mega viral to the tune of over 30 million views:

@lainedubin

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLLLLLL🏆🥇 🎥 @Emma #figureskating #figureskatingtiktok #iceskating #iceskatingtiktok #plussizefigureskater #figureskatingtiktoks #iceskater #figureskater #adultfigureskater #adultsskatetoo

Dubin has undoubtedly found her people on social media. The responses to her videos could bring tears to your eyes. Not only are viewers in awe of her skill on the ice, they find so much hope and inspiration in what Dubin is doing:

"Ok but as a bigger Asian girl who has always dreamed of ice skating this made me tear up 😭 so proud of you"

"I NEVER see plus sized rep in figure skating, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE THIS IS SO COOL!!"

"the fact no one knows how absolutely impressive this is especially with girls our size I love ice skating I've been a fan forever the power and strength you need to pull your up and spin like that"

"wait! someone with my body type figure skating?!!! like a GODDESS may I add, this makes me feel so seen, and like, maybe I could do this with some practice as well!!!!!???"

"As a plus sized girl who had the idea of figure skating shot down, thank you for making the lil girl in me happy and I'm so damn proud of you. You're awesome."

Comments just like these roll in on Dubin's videos every single day. But that doesn't mean that general attitudes across the sport are ready to change.

Women skaters, especially, are mercilessly mocked, fat-shamed, and picked apart by viewers, coaches, and even judges of the sport. Five-time Olympic medalist Tessa Virtue has dealt with people nitpicking her body her entire career, calling her either too fat or too muscular. Bronze medalist and two-time US National Champion Gracie Gold had to take a hiatus from the sport to get help with an eating disorder. One of the most promising young figure skaters in recent memory, Yulia Lipnitskaya, was forced to retire at just 19 due to anorexia along with injuries.

There are a lot of factors that contribute to this major problem. The norm is for female skaters in competition to wear incredibly skimpy dresses and outfits that accentuate their form and technique, which would make anyone self-conscious about their body. Canadian skater Kaetlyn Osmond adds that less body mass also helps them achieve sky-high jumps on the ice.

@lainedubin

my first rain skate but it was in my coaching skates😪 #figureskating #iceskating #adultfigureskater #plussize #figureskater 🎥 bry

Dubin is living proof, though, that a plus-sized body can be athletic, graceful, and beautiful. It means so much to all the kids who think they shouldn't bother pursuing their love of the sport because their own body type will never allow them to fit in.

“It’s just people seeing representation in the media of themselves being represented first,” Dubin told US Figure Skating in 2023. “That’s what will make people feel validated and that’s what will lead to change with body inclusivity in the skating space.”

The way she's racking up millions and millions of views, it's fair to say she—along with other plus-sized skaters—could have a real, tangible impact on the next generation of skating athletes. The official Olympics Facebook page even shared one of her clips, exposing her moves and her message to a new, massive audience. She was also interviewed on Behind the Skates on YouTube:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Keep up with Dubin and watch her progress, play, and fashion on TikTok and Instagram and visit her Linktree for even more.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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