Rachael Rifkin

  • 85-year-old woman in senior home brings down the house with Fleetwood Mac ‘Landslide’ cover
    A woman sings "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac at karaoke.Photo credit: Cecily Knobler
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    85-year-old woman in senior home brings down the house with Fleetwood Mac ‘Landslide’ cover

    On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn’t wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended.…

    On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn’t wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA’s “Mamma Mia,” David Lee Roth’s “Just a Gigolo”—you name it, they sang it.

    When it was Wade’s turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:

    “Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
    ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you.
    But time makes you bolder,
    Even children get older,
    I’m getting old too.”

    A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, “Never stop feeling the music.”

    I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, “I’ve been singing since I was a small child. I’ve loved music all my life.”

    As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)

    bands, carole wade, music, old friends, singer
    Carole and her band mates. Carole Wade

    They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like “Me and Bobby McGee,” “Seven Bridges Road,” and “Whole Lotta Love.” She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn’t hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.

    They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, “creating goo.”

    Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.

    Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. “If you’re down on a certain day, it will bring you up.” She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.

    Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, “They remember the music, and the time. It’s a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life.”

    A man sings “Just a Gigolo” at The Reserve karaoke day.

    There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.com quotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”

    As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Millennials are growing concerned about their Boomer parents being glued to their phones
    Millennials are fed up with their Boomer parents always being on their phones.Photo credit: Images via Canva
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    Millennials are growing concerned about their Boomer parents being glued to their phones

    Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents’ frustrating phone use. On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents…

    Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents’ frustrating phone use.

    On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.

    “My parents are on the very young end of being ‘boomers’. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones,” they wrote. “I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos).”

    phone, boomer, boomer phone, phones, phone habits
    Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcu00edas Giphy

    They went on to add, “The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say ‘Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.’ But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? ”

    The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.

    “I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I’m listening for that they have my attention,” one commented. “And to think that it’s coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains.”

    phone, no phones, phone gif, boomer phone, parents phone

    Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy

    Another shared, “My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table.”

    Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. “I’ve noticed this with my parents. It seems like I’ve switched places with them. I’m trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more,” one commented.

    Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents’ phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. “It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish,” another shared.

    phone down, put phone away, put away phone, phone addiction, no phones

    Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy

    Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. “I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don’t like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him,” one Millennial shared.

    Another added, “I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it.”

    no phone, no phones, phones away, put phone down, boomer phone

    Chicago Pd Nbc GIF by One Chicago Giphy

    However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. “My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context),” they wrote. “I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about ‘playing on my phone too much’ when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age.”

    Other Millennials pointed out that it’s not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. “I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era,” another noted. And another Millennial quipped, “Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness .”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Gen Xers are rewatching ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ and it hits differently than they remembered
    Gen X re-watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and some are debating it didn't age well.Photo credit: Images via Wikipedia/Canva
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    Gen Xers are rewatching ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ and it hits differently than they remembered

    One of the most iconic movies from the 1980s is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The film premiered in 1986, and is the epitome of Gen X pop culture. Recently Gen Xers (those born between 1965 and 1980) have been re-watching the childhood classic with their Gen Z kids…and it’s not quite what they remembered. In…

    One of the most iconic movies from the 1980s is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The film premiered in 1986, and is the epitome of Gen X pop culture.

    Recently Gen Xers (those born between 1965 and 1980) have been re-watching the childhood classic with their Gen Z kids…and it’s not quite what they remembered. In a Reddit community of Gen Xers, member dilatanntedad shared his thoughts after a recent viewing, and it has Gen Xers passionately dissecting it.

    Ferris Bueller did not age well,” he wrote. “I (m53) watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off this weekend with my kids, ages 9 and 10. Of course there are the iconic lines like ‘Life moves fast…’ and ‘Bueller, Bueller, Bueller…’ but the more I watched, the less fun it was.”

    “To be honest, at the end I agreed with Ferris’ sister: why does he get away with all this shit when she never could? He’s a rich privileged white boy who punches down, tricking and taking advantage of pathetic school administrators, restaurant workers, younger kids at school, his parents, and even manipulates his best friend,” he wrote, before adding, “He has no empathy for others and does everything for his own enjoyment.”

    He ended his post with a final thought: “I know I’m a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, but I’m no longer amused by his antics. And I don’t think Ferris Bueller could be the hero today that he was in the Reagan 80’s.” He then followed up with a comment about his kids’ thoughts: “To be clear, my kids laughed a lot. And I did too. I was just uncomfortable with the overall message.”

    His fellow Gen Xers had a lot of opinions to add in, noting that it may not be the film that aged poorly…but them. “I think part of the charm is that at the time it was fun to watch and we could half-identify with the antics,” another Gen Xer wrote. “Watching it from today’s lens, it seems clear that he was likely peaking, destined for very little or mediocrity at best. His privilege came from his two very hard-working, square, corporate parents.”

    ferris bueller, ferris buellers day off, ferris bueller gif, 80s movie, 80s ferris bueller
    matthew broderick film GIF Giphy

    Tthe comment got a meaningful reply: “This. It’s less that the movie aged poorly, it’s that we aged and see it from a totally different perspective. At 16 I wanted to be Ferris. Care free, everything works out, hot girlfriend, zero responsibilities. Looking back at people I went to high school [with] who were close to that, aren’t exactly successful in life. So we see what that behavior leads to and no longer idolize it.”

    Many Gen Xers feel the movie is cinema gold to this day. “I still love it. Stop acting like a boomer ,” one wrote. Another added, “This movie is the GOAT. It aged like wine.” Another agreed: “The movie aged fine. We’re the ones that aged out of its target demographic.”

    ferris bueller, ferris buellers day off, ferris bueller gif, ferris gif, ferris bueller quote

    john lennon film GIF Giphy

    However, Gen Xers championed Cameron as the film’s most redeeming character. “My kids thought it was great. I’ve always considered Cameron to be the actual protagonist of the story – he’s the one who experiences character growth and conflict,” one commented.

    cameron, ferris bueller cameron, cameron from ferris bueller, ferris buellers day off, cameron gif

    Ferris Buellers Day Off 80S GIF Giphy

    A fellow Gen Xer added, “That is critically accurate. Without Cameron, this movie is a fable. Ferris learns nothing and does not change. He is the narrator—we know this because he talks to the audience and is definitely aware he’s in a movie. Someone else pointed out that Ferris is Cameron’s manic-pixie dream girl. That’s a good way to look at it. Another is that he is the wise mentor figure (like Ben Kenobi) and Cameron is following the heroes journey. We just don’t see his confrontation with his father as the REAL confrontation is internal.”

    While Gen Xers may not all agree on the movie’s current-day relevance, many had fun theorizing where Ferris may be today, with one noting, “I bet Ferris would use AI to write his English papers :/.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Frugal people share their 35 splurges that are worth ‘every penny’
    Frugal people share their shopping tips and what is worth splurging on.Photo credit: Image via Canva
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    Frugal people share their 35 splurges that are worth ‘every penny’

    Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on. On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow…

    Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on.

    On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow frugal shoppers: “What’s one thing you splurge on that’s worth every penny?”

    Frugal people spilled on the things they don’t mind dropping money on. These are 35 splurges frugal people say are worth “every penny.”

    splurge, splurging, frugal splurge, splurges, money splurge
    Celebrate Parks And Rec GIF Giphy

    “For me, it’s a solid pair of boots and a good mattress. If my feet and back are shot, the whole day’s downhill from there. I’ll eat leftovers and skip takeout all week if it means I’m sleeping right and walking easy. Also decent coffee and laundry service are creeping up the list too.” —WildRootKitchen

    “Air conditioning. I make money so I can be comfortable, not be uncomfortable so I can save money.” —strwbrymocha

    “AC/Heat, always. I’ll never bat an eye at a higher utility bill so long as my sleep goes uninterrupted.” —MediumBullfrog8688

    “A house cleaner. Maybe that doesn’t sound frugal, but for the mental health benefits I get from knowing every two weeks I will come home to a spotless house, it’s something I will continue to prioritize over many other expenses.” —mzmonarda

    “Gym membership, mattress and pillow, running shoes, quality ingredients from supermarket.” —LoudSilence16

    “I have a method for splurges on unfamiliar items. I’ll buy a tool from harbor freight or a cheap version of something I’m interested in to see if I actually need the item or if I’m interested in it. If I use it a bunch and it breaks, then I splurge on a high quality version. If it just sits somewhere either because I didn’t need it as much as I thought or I wasn’t as interested as I thought, then I’m only out a few bucks. Example: I really enjoy cooking, I wanted to learn how to make sausage. I bought a cheap sausage stuffer on amazon for like $30. I used the hell out of it and it broke broke a couple years later. I did some research and bought a LEM 5lbs sausage stuffer that was like $120 and now I have a high quality piece of equipment that works WAY better than my POS amazon stuffer and it will likely outlive my great grandchildren. Also, name brand hardware like faucets. Learned my lesson from buying cheap faucets. Now I’ll just buy Moen.” —40ozT0Freedom

    “Darn Tough Socks.” —gregarious119

    “Smartwool for me.” —Natural-Run9072

    socks, sock gif, quality socks, splurge socks, sock
    Socks GIF Giphy

    “I live in rural South Carolina. It’s worth it to me to pay for quarterly pest control service from a professional. There are a lot of insects, rodents, reptiles, etc.” —snarkker

    “Vacations.” —Proud_Trainer_1234

    “An ergonomic desk chair. Back pain is no joke. I only wish I had done it much sooner. Not 20 years into my desk job. At least I should have another 20 years with a good chair and no back pain. I spent $700 on my chair and it was worth every penny. The frugal me shopped around but this was the cheapest one I could find new, some outlets were selling the exact same chair for over $800. 10 year warranty on the chair was a nice bonus too. My husband found the exact same chair secondhand for $100 so now we match. His doesn’t have a 10 year warranty but that’s OK for $100.” —Bunnyeatsdesign

    “Buy a second pair of good boots and rotate them. Letting the leather air out a day before wearing the shoes again really help extend their life. I have two cats. I feed them the best grain-free food they will eat. Not only does this extend their life span, the daily litter box collections are much smaller than if they get grain.” —Childless_Catlady42

    workout, fitness, exercise, lifting, fitness gif

    Alfred Hitchcock Workout GIF Giphy

    “I tend to indulge myself when it comes to exercise stuff. The gym classes that I’ll actually go to, the races, the equipment, the good clothes & shoes. I know that everyone talks about a good mattress for their back, but for me, no mattress is as effective as yoga and weight lifting. As long as I keep my core strong, I don’t have back spasms. And running has been amazing for my mental health along with physical, and helped me make some amazing friends. Totally worth every penny.” —kaizenkitten

    “I dedicate a decent portion of my budget to ‘self care’. Think massages, pedicures, manicures. It’s the one thing I forward to it every month, as it’s some of the only downtime I have right now.” —YesChef__

    “Professional Movers. Stop asking your friends ( especially over 30) to help you move! It’s not worth a six pack of beer and some pizza.” —1tiredmommy

    first class, business class, travel, first class gif, luxury travel

    First Class GIF by Slice Giphy

    “Business class/first class — never once have I regretted it. We live reasonably the rest of the time, but when it comes time to travel, this is an indulgence that we grant ourselves.” —Weekly_Leg_2457

    “Just here in case nobody said tattoos yet. Good work ain’t cheap & cheap work ain’t good.” —Clear_Beat5117

    “Reverse osmosis filter. Makes tap water taste good again.” —wonminus1

    “Ethical meat. I feel better about eating it, I’m supporting local farmers, and the taste and quality blows supermarket meat out of the water. At this point, I am perfectly happy only eating meat a few times a week (my husband and I are both former vegetarians) and making sure that when we do eat it, it comes from animals who only had one bad day. (This goes for eggs, too – pasture raised/certified humane whenever it’s available. We don’t eat much dairy for health and animal welfare reasons.)” —dzwonzie

    tires, tire, tire gif, good tires, quality tires

    Fly Rotate GIF by Ilves Motors Giphy

    “Tires too.” —Pessimistic_Penguin2

    “I’m frugal to the max most of the time, but come spring I spend money on flowers, shrubs, things for gardening. That’s my guilty pleasure. I listen to audiobooks from my library. I haven’t watched tv in years because trying to get local channels is impossible. So no streaming service, no cable, but I’m content. I can splurge without feeling guilty like I’ve saved up for it.” —Garden_Lady2

    “Furniture. Well made, excellent cushions, materials…both indoor and out.” —ildadof3

    “Ice cream.” —Clutcha15

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • A pro wrestler left the ring mid-match to stop security from manhandling a boy with Down syndrome
    Shawn Michaels stopped a performance in front of 13,000 to help a fan in need.Photo credit: Mandy Coombes – Flickr: WWE – Birmingham 210695 (19), CC BY-SA 2.0 & David Seto, CC BY 2.0,
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    A pro wrestler left the ring mid-match to stop security from manhandling a boy with Down syndrome

    Professional wrestling in the 1990s was really something else. Dominated at the time by the WWF (now WWE), stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and The Undertaker were larger than life and some of the most popular public sports figures in the world well before The Rock and John Cena hit…

    Professional wrestling in the 1990s was really something else. Dominated at the time by the WWF (now WWE), stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and The Undertaker were larger than life and some of the most popular public sports figures in the world well before The Rock and John Cena hit the scene.

    And then there was Shawn “The Heartbreak Kid” Michaels, who was perhaps the biggest star of all during his heyday. Known for his extraordinarily cocky and vain character, Michaels was a terrific performer both in the ring and on the mic, making him a beloved fan favorite.

    wwe, wwf, shawn michaels, stone cold steve austin, wrestling, pro wrestling, sports, down syndrome, special needs
    Peak Shawn Michaels was larger than life. Giphy

    In one iconic moment from a 1997 match, Shawn Michaels stopped and left the ring mid-match when he noticed a security scuffle taking place just a few feet away.

    The 1997 King of the Ring Pay Per View event featured Shawn Michaels taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin, pitting two of the sport’s biggest stars against each other for what would become a legendary showdown.

    Just a minute or so into the match, Steve Austin stops to stare outside the ring at some kind of disturbance. Michaels quickly clocks what’s going on and slides out of the ring. He saunters over to a group of security personnel who seem to be roughly grabbing at and restraining a young boy. Michaels gently shoves them aside and offers comfort to the boy, who it becomes clear has Down syndrome.

    It would have been the perfect heartwarming moment…if Steve Austin hadn’t run over and immediately started “punching” Michaels in the head! The performers resume their match in the ring for another minute before Michaels again exits and finds the boy. He waves off the security guards and gently escorts the boy down the aisle and safely away from the ring, effectively breaking character in front of the crowd of 13,000 stunned onlookers.

    Once they’re a safe distance from the ring, Michaels hands the boy over to some other officials and a woman who comes running after him, and then returns to the match.

    As a show of respect, Steve Austin holds the ropes open for his opponent to return to the regularly scheduled match, which went on to be an all-time classic.

    In professional wrestling, there’s a concept called “kayfabe“— it means that at no point are the performers or the production to ever, ever indicate that what’s taking place isn’t real.

    We all know that professional wrestling like WWE is staged and mostly scripted. While the athletic stunts are impressive (and the falls really do hurt), the wrestlers in the ring aren’t really fighting each other. It’s all a giant soap opera, with dramatic storylines written that build anticipation for the big showdown.

    What’s so unique about pro wrestling is that this illusion is never broken—especially not in the 90s. Performers like Shawn Michaels were never to break character in interviews or fan interactions, and absolutely never during a live match, let alone one of the main events of a Pay Per View performance!

    Think kayfabe is silly? Tell that to the wrestlers. In 1975, a trio of wrestlers were involved in a horrific plane crash. One of the wrestler’s, Mr. Wrestling, survived and made it to the hospital, where he proceeded to lie to the doctors:

    “While lying in a hospital bed, and with no way of knowing if his compatriots were alive or dead, Mr. Wrestling provided his true name…and then lied about his job to preserve the illusion of wrestling. He knew that if word got out that a good guy, the owner of the company’s brother and three bad guys were all on the same plane, it could ruin that illusion forever,” according to Uproxx.

    A wrestler named Junkyard Dog once became “blinded” during a match and wore dark glasses and a walking cane in public for months afterward, even claiming that he could not see his newborn son. One story goes that the “blind” Junkyard Dog was once sitting ringside at a match when a fan jumped the barrier with a gun close by, and JYD was legitimately torn about whether to stop the man and break kayfabe (luckily, police officers intervened first, but can you believe he really had to give this decision serious weight?!).

    wwe, wwf, shawn michaels, stone cold steve austin, wrestling, pro wrestling, sports, down syndrome, special needs
    Junkyard Dog took kayfabe extremely seriously. Giphy

    Kayfabe also means that, no matter what’s going on around the production, the show must go on. In 1999, a wrestler named Owen Hart died in the ring after some acrobatics equipment sadly malfunctioned. The others wrestlers were ordered to continue performing the rest of the show with Hart’s blood still drying on the mat.

    For Michaels, and Austin to a lesser extend, to break that illusion of reality in order to help a fan showed a tremendous amount of compassion.

    The match has over 12 million views on YouTube, striking a cord with viewers both for the performance and for the amazing display of integrity and warmth by Shawn Michaels. Commenters shared their admiration in droves:

    “Shawn Michael protects the special kid like a caring father. Respect.”

    “Shawn Michaels taking the time to make sure that young man got out of the ring side safely is one of the best things Ive ever seen in wrestling. A legend in the ring and out.”

    “The way Shawn loving blanketed the boy with love to keep him out of the ring and content at the same time was so angelic”

    “How great of shawn was it to break character and go help that disabled olympian kid. What a great guy.”

    “Stone Cold holding the ropes for Shawn Michaels out of respect for what just happened is the greatest breaking kayfabe moment in the history of the WWE. … Stone Cold acknowledged what just happened and how much he had respect for what Michaels just did.”

    Police and security personnel often have extremely poor training on dealing with people with disabilities, which can lead to unnecessary violence. When the young man at this WWF event hopped the railing, he unknowingly put himself in a lot of danger. Shawn Michaels stopping the live performance, breaking character, and helping the boy out with warmth and compassion may have prevented a tragic outcome.

    This article originally appeared [time-difference] ago. It has been updated.

  • Frugal people share 14 ‘hacks’ that were a waste and didn’t save money
    Frugal people share hacks that didn't actually save them money.Photo credit: Canva
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    Frugal people share 14 ‘hacks’ that were a waste and didn’t save money

    Americans have saving money on their minds. According to a 2025 Vanguard survey, 75% of Americans didn’t save as much money as they intended to that year. Additionally, 84% of Americans included a financial goal in their 2026 New Year’s resolutions. But less than half of Americans are actually saving money. A 2025 Pew Research…

    Americans have saving money on their minds. According to a 2025 Vanguard survey, 75% of Americans didn’t save as much money as they intended to that year. Additionally, 84% of Americans included a financial goal in their 2026 New Year’s resolutions.

    But less than half of Americans are actually saving money. A 2025 Pew Research poll found that just 47% said they were able to put money away.

    One method for saving money is to adopt a frugal lifestyle. However, not all frugal “hacks” are effective money-savers, as frugal people on Reddit have shared.

    “I see a lot of advice about extreme couponing, driving across town to save a tiny amount on gas or groceries, and spending hours chasing the absolute lowest price on everything,” one person explained, adding that they tried doing some things to no avail.

    They added, “It just wasn’t worth the time or mental energy. I’d spend 30–45 minutes planning to save a few dollars, while ignoring bigger expenses (housing, food habits, and recurring subscriptions), that actually moved the needle.”

    More frugal people shared the money-saving hacks they tried that ultimately weren’t worth it. From gas to food and DIY repairs, these are the things frugal people wouldn’t recommend trying to save money on:

    Household and repairs

    “Not every DIY is cheaper. It often only is cheaper if you need something that cannot be mass-produced. And even then, buying the materials is often more expensive than modifying an existing product.” – discolored_rat_hat

    “Our rule of thumb is if you can fubar it 3x and still save significant money try it. If you’re going to lose money if you aren’t perfect buy it or hire someone. For example a bathroom remodel was quoted at 42k. We priced out the things needed at 5k, that meant if we (we mostly being my exceptionally handy husband, I just design and paint) messed up we could try 8 times and still be ahead. He did a beautiful job and it was just about 6K all in. The dishwasher broke. The part that was probably but not for sure the problem was 150. A new dishwasher was 400. We bought a new dishwasher. It’s worked out great.” – MsLaurieM

    “Fixing my car myself ended up with a friend breaking it more. I did replace the battery just fine, but even that took way longer than it was maybe worth.” – greatexpectations23

    Gas

    “Driving around to find cheaper gas is pretty ridiculous. Like, I get filling up before going near the airport car rental, and not filling up at rest stops if possible, but otherwise just keep an eye out for what on your way. For me, it’s cheaper to fill up in Delaware, but I only do so if I’m down that way shopping. I don’t purposely drive out of my way.” – MissDisplaced

    “Driving with windows down to save on gas instead using your car’s AC. The majority of fuel consumed by your car is used to overcome air/wind resistance. The drag created by driving with open windows burns way more fuel than your car’s air conditioning.” – OCsurfishin

    “Gas savings is the biggest thing. My car had a 20 gallon tank. Even a 20 cent price difference would only save me $4. If I get gas every other week at most that’s $100 a year. But a 20 cent difference is huge. It’s literally not worth it to try to save a couple cents per gallon.” – no_sight

    Food

    “Money wise, raising animals like chickens for the eggs, can be a money pit. But it depends on a lot of factors like the money you put to build the coop, the feed you are giving them, the treats, the time you spend taking care of them, etc.. In season, you can sell the extra eggs. But for a few months, it’s possible you don’t have any egg at all. So you need to buy them. Or put a light in the coop. But, you have happy animals and you know your eggs are not coming from a factory.” – Brayongirl

    “Baking bread. Although I’m a great cook, I’m not good at making bread. I’ve tried dozens of recipes. I then tried a bread machine. Nope. I’ve accepted defeat. There’s nothing like a good crusty baguette, so I’ll gladly pay $5 and save myself the aggravation and cost of ingredients.” – DareWright

    “Making (laundry detergent, yogurt, cheese, whatever) from scratch. If it takes more than 3 steps and/or 2 hours I’ll just use less and/or coupon for it. Between procuring the ingredients/equipment needed, the labor involved with execution and clean up, and then the learning curve of possibly making a sh*tty end product, I’m ok with paying for the convenience of a consistently good product.” – PutNameHere123

    “Buying plastic containers for meal prep always resulted in the containers becoming worthless within a year or so due to warping or other things happening. I now use all glass containers and have been using the same containers for well over 4 years.” – greatexpectations23

    “Going to three different supermarkets and comparison shopping. In general, I stick with just purchasing what I need at supermarkets that provide a good value. Yes, maybe going across town will save me 40 cents on onions this week. Better that I buy everything at one location and save the time and mental energy.” – pianoman81

    Additional expenses

    “I stopped buying things because they were ‘on sale’. If it was something I didn’t need often, it was not worth the purchase price. I also stopped buying things I don’t have room for or did not plan to use within the current month. It just was not worth trying to find storage for it.” – tetcheddistress

    “Credit card churning. I know it can save money and I did do it for a while but the mental headache wasn’t worth it for me. I just use a single cash back card with another as a backup and use it for everything. Keeps all my spending in one spot to help with budgeting and the mental load decrease is so much nicer.” – OutsideImmediate9074

    “Couponing, at least these days, is often not worth it! It encourages you to buy brand name when usually genetic/store brand is cheaper even after coupon, and is generally the same formulation. Most coupons these days are like 35 cents off 2 boxes of $4 cereal meanwhile generics are like $2.50 without a coupon. If you’re brand-loyal that might be a hot take, but our house is fine with generics. Physical coupons have gotten crappier and less frequent, usually in favor of moving to e-coupons. E-coupons are hard to stack and often have restrictions/limits that make them hard to use. The pennysavers in my area have half the number of pages that they used to, and are basically only P&G products and stamp ads lol. The dollar value of the coupons haven’t been changing but everything has been getting more expensive, making them less useful than ever before. The time spent organizing, clipping, and putting together matchups is honestly just not worth it these days. To me, I see couponing as a job. If I’m not making/saving at least minimum wage from it ($8 savings per hour spent clipping/organizing/shopping) it’s not a worthwhile use of my time.” – YouGotToMugatu

  • ‘Tsundoku’: The 146-year-old Japanese word for your pile of unread books
    Tsundoku will change the way you think about your books.Photo credit: Canva
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    ‘Tsundoku’: The 146-year-old Japanese word for your pile of unread books

    Let’s take a look at that growing stack of books in your room. You know the one: the pile that seems to grow faster than you can read it. It might look like neglect, but it actually says something about your curiosity and hopefulness. Did you know there’s a Japanese word for this? It might…

    Let’s take a look at that growing stack of books in your room. You know the one: the pile that seems to grow faster than you can read it. It might look like neglect, but it actually says something about your curiosity and hopefulness. Did you know there’s a Japanese word for this? It might just change how you see your book pile from now on.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    A girl reads a book indoors. Photo credit: Canva

    Enter the world of “tsundoku” (積ん読). This Japanese term describes buying books you intend to read but end up stacking around your home. Unopened, unread and collecting dust—not mistreated, just waiting for the right time.

    The history behind the “Tsundoku Sensei”

    The word “tsundoku” comes from Japan’s Meiji era, a time when books and reading were becoming more popular. It combines “tsunde-oku,” which means to pile things up and leave them, with “dokusho,” which means “reading books.” The result is a word that perfectly captures an experience every book lover knows well.

    The earliest use of the word dates to a Japanese satirical text from 1879, notes bibliographer Mori Senzo. It described a teacher whose shelves were packed with unread books. The word was a gentle joke, carrying no malice—a connotation that remains today. Professor Andrew Gerstle adds that “tsundoku” still carries no stigma in Japan.

    Tsundoku vs. Bibliomania: A meaningful distinction

    Both “tsundoku” and “bibliomania” involve collecting books, but the reasons behind them are different.

    “Bibliomania” describes an excessive obsession with collecting books, often for their rarity, beauty, or the pleasure of owning them rather than for reading. A bibliomaniac focuses on obtaining desirable volumes—such as first editions or illustrated works—valuing the collection itself above the books’ contents.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    A woman reads on a train. Photo credit: Canva

    “Tsundoku,” on the other hand, is about wanting to read the books you buy, even if you haven’t gotten to them yet. Maybe you picked up a book because a friend recommended it or because something new caught your eye. The stack grows not out of obsession but out of the hope that you’ll read them all someday.

    That difference matters. A “tsundoku” pile isn’t just a collection; it’s a sign of your curiosity and your goals. It shows not only who you are but who you want to be.

    Your brain on “tsundoku

    So why do we keep buying books when we have a pile of them we haven’t read yet? The answer has a lot to do with how our brains work.

    Buying a new book triggers a dopamine release, the same neurochemical associated with anticipation. The pleasure hits the moment your credit card is swiped. Reading can wait, but “later” often never comes.

    Your unread books are like little promises to yourself. They represent the “aspirational self.” Each one is a version of you who has finally read Anna Karenina, finished The Secret Lives of Color, or learned something new from The Trauma of Everyday Life. That future self feels close, just waiting for you to catch up. So the pile grows, full of hope and possibility.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn more, even if your curiosity sometimes outpaces your reading speed. The desire for new ideas is a good thing.

    The “antilibrary” concept

    Italian novelist and philosopher Umberto Eco practiced a more extreme version of this habit. His personal library contained more than 30,000 books, most of which he hadn’t read. Eco celebrated it. He referred to his collection of unread books as an “antilibrary”—a clear reminder of all the knowledge he had yet to discover.

    tsundoku, japanese, books, reading, history
    Every unread book on your shelf is a little promise to yourself. Photo credit: Canva

    Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of The Black Swan, expanded on Eco’s idea of an antilibrary. He argued that you should maximize your library’s space by keeping books on topics you know little about. “Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary,” he says.

    An antilibrary is a “memento sciendi”—a representation of all you have yet to learn. Rather than a failure, a shelf of unread books signals intellectual humility: “I know what I don’t know and want to learn more.”

    Tsundoku” meets the modern world

    “Tsundoku” is now found far from Japan. The idea lives on in gaming culture, where players build libraries of unplayed games on platforms like Steam—sometimes dubbed “Steamdoku.” As cartoonist Ronnie Filyaw put it, “Tsundoku is collecting books you won’t read. Steamdoku is your Steam library.”

    Then there’s BookTok, TikTok’s beloved part of the Internet dedicated to all things literary. On BookTok, reading is a shared social experience. Creators turn the act of collecting books into engaging content, often filming their towering “to-be-read” (TBR) piles. Here, an unread stack becomes a form of individual expression and a way to connect with fellow book lovers.

    This digital domain has had a remarkable impact on the publishing world. NPD BookScan reports that a group of writers rule BookTok and have enjoyed lucrative rewards: 80 authors with large BookTok followings saw their collective sales more than double in one year, rising from nine million copies in 2020 to 20 million in 2021.

    The irony, of course, is that the gap between books bought and books read may be wider than ever. Despite the boom in book buying, reading is on the decline. A survey from the National Endowment for the Arts found that only 48.5% of American adults read at least one book in 2022. That’s a noticeable drop from 52.7% in 2017 and 54.6% in 2012. The numbers for fiction are even more stark, with just 37.6% of adults reading a novel in 2022—the lowest rate in the survey’s 30-year history.

    “Tsundoku” lives in the space between wanting to read and actually finding the time to do it. Life gets busy, but the desire to read and keep learning is always there. Your bookshelf is waiting, ready for you to choose a book and begin.

    Embracing “tsundoku” as an act of optimism

    Remember, every unread book on your shelf is a promise to your future self. Each perfect, unbent spine represents an inquisitiveness that hasn’t found its moment yet.

    At its core, “tsundoku” is about optimism. Every new book you buy shows you believe there will be time for new ideas. The world is full of stories, and there’s always more to learn.

    So the next time someone questions your growing stack of books, remember: there’s a name for your habit. Book lovers in Japan have used it for over a century. You’re not alone in believing that, one day, those books will be read.

    And if some books stay unread? That’s okay. The pile is still proof of your curiosity and your commitment to keep growing. “Tsundoku” is a sign of hope and the drive to learn, not a sign of failure.

  • 8 fascinating ways parenting norms in other countries differ from the U.S.
    Other countries approach parenting very differently than we do in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva
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    8 fascinating ways parenting norms in other countries differ from the U.S.

    Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is credited with the idea that each of us is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The same could be said about the way we raise our kids. Each family has its own values, traditions and way of doing things, but we can’t help adopting…

    Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is credited with the idea that each of us is the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The same could be said about the way we raise our kids. Each family has its own values, traditions and way of doing things, but we can’t help adopting certain norms from our neighbors and the culture that surrounds us.

    That’s why it’s so fascinating to compare parenting in the United States with parenting in other countries around the world. Here are a few things American parents might be surprised to learn that parents and societies around the globe do differently:

    1. No kids menus

    Most American restaurants feature an altered menu for children, usually with simple foods like grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, or cheeseburgers.

    In many—perhaps even most—other countries, children are expected to eat smaller portions of what the adults are eating, even if it’s spicy or complex. In countries like Germany, many restaurants offer a menu item called a “robber’s plate,” an empty plate that allows kids to steal bites from their parents.

    america, asia, europe, africa, cultural differences, parenting, kids, dads, moms, children, parenting strategies
    A plate of dinosaur chicken nuggets and ketchup. Photo credit: Canva

    2. Homeschooling is rare

    According to Pew Research, about 3.4% of American children are homeschooled. That’s a relatively small percentage, but accounts for millions of kids. American parents are keen on homeschooling for many reasons, including distrust of the moral instruction in public schools or worries about the “school environment.”

    American parents who move abroad are often surprised to find that homeschooling is extremely rare or even illegal in most other countries. Its popularity is growing in the United Kingdom, but even there, only about 100,000 children are currently homeschooled. In places like Germany and the Netherlands, children are required by law to attend school.

    3. Some kids are allowed to drink alcohol

    The legal drinking age of 21 is strictly enforced in America, with little to no exceptions. What goes on in people’s private homes is anyone’s guess, but legally speaking, the rules are pretty black and white.

    In many countries around the world—including Australia, France, Canada, and Ireland—the legal drinking age is 18, and the overall approach to alcohol is far more casual. However, there are numerous exceptions in several of these places. In the U.K., for example, 15-year-olds can have a beer or glass of wine with dinner at a restaurant as long as they’re supervised by an adult. At home, almost anything goes, with the minimum legal drinking age on private premises in the U.K. being five—although doctors strongly advise against this.

    4. Postpartum care

    In America, it’s common for mothers to leave the hospital about 48 to 96 hours after giving birth, depending on the delivery method and any complications. In the past, new moms would get a single postpartum checkup about six weeks later, although standards have recently changed to encourage earlier support.

    Giving birth in other countries around the world can be drastically different. In the U.K., new mothers can be discharged from the hospital as soon as six hours after an uncomplicated birth, which is one of the fastest turnarounds in the world.

    In China, however, it’s common for new moms to “sit the month” and take 30 to 40 days of confined rest at home or in a “birth hotel.” South Korea, meanwhile, sends about 85% of new mothers to a joriwon, a specialized postpartum care facility, for about two weeks.

    5. Independent kids

    In the U.S., kids are spending less time outside. Some estimates say only about 6% of children regularly play outside unsupervised, and around 11% walk or bike to school alone, a number that has fallen dramatically over time.

    This is a stark difference from many other cultures around the world, where kids frequently exercise more day-to-day independence. In most European countries, at least 40% of kids walk or bike to school. Japan is famous for children as young as six taking the subway and running errands independently, thanks to high levels of social trust.

    “We don’t hover and helicopter kids here like American parents,” a U.S. parent living in Switzerland wrote on Reddit. “Kids walk to school on their own in elementary. They can take public transportation on their own, and parents don’t worry.”

    6. Bedtime differences

    Americans march to the beat of their own drum in the evening, with kids, on average, going to bed early—and almost always in their own beds.

    About 90% of American kids under 10 are in bed by 9 p.m. Bedtimes around the world, however, vary greatly, with countries in Southern Europe like Italy and Spain allowing kids to stay up past 10 or 11 p.m. for late dinners and socializing. In other places, bedtime is much more rigorous. Kids in Germany and New Zealand have some of the earliest bedtimes around.

    Co-sleeping is also a major difference. Sharing a bed with your infant is on the rise in America, but it’s still recommended against by the American Academy of Pediatrics. However, the U.S. doesn’t hold a candle to countries in Asia, Africa and Latin America, where more than 70% of young children share a bed with their parents.

    7. Bilingual kids

    About 20% of kids in the U.S. speak more than one language, usually because someone at home speaks it regularly. In many other countries around the world, learning multiple languages is far more common.

    According to Quartz, “Almost every country in Europe requires students as young as six to learn a foreign language, usually English. Even more impressive, over 20 European countries (including France) require students to learn two foreign languages in school for at least one school year.”

    America is far from the most monolingual country, however. Places like Hungary, Japan, South Korea, and Brazil place little importance on kids learning English or any other foreign language.

    8. Greeting and talking to adults

    It’s common in America for kids to be shy around adults or to have their interactions guided and supervised by a parent. In many other countries, kids are taught from a young age to formally greet adults as a show of respect.

    “Greeting and talking to adults is taught early on,” wrote one U.S. parent who raised their children in Spain. “My boys always note how awkward some of their US peers are when talking to adults or public speaking. Looking into someone’s eyes when speaking is another thing they noted.”

    It’s fascinating to consider alternative approaches to parenting that would seem completely inappropriate in America but tend to work just fine in many other parts of the world. American parents would probably have a hard time letting their six-year-old walk to school independently without drawing suspicion from neighbors or law enforcement. It just goes to show that not every interesting idea can be implemented everywhere, and that our unique cultures shape the way we raise our kids, for better or worse.

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