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People freak out when he hits her in public. Watch what happens when she hits him.

Plenty of these social experiments are floating around lately, but this one really made me stop and think. It's pretty hard to ignore the extremely different reactions you see between the two scenarios. Check below the video for the why that's missing from the experiment. Trigger warning: Scenes of violence between a man and woman.

Have you ever noticed that when women are being abused, people are more likely to intervene...

(Although, not often enough, if you ask me.)


...but when people see a woman harassing or abusing a man, people tend to laugh it off?

"LOL wimmen be cray!" — guy in the red

BUT! Did you know there's a social structure in place that allows for this double standard of gender violence to exist?

Tell 'em, Joe!

That social structure, my friends ... is called PATRIARCHY.

Patriarchy is why:

  • Men are expected to be big, tough, macho dudes who hit things and are allergic to feelings.
  • Women are expected to be maternal, nurturing, emotional ladies who are delicate and love babies.

These gender roles are bad for everyone.

  • Patriarchy blames women who are abused by men for provoking their "natural male aggression."
  • Patriarchy hurts MEN, too. It says that men must be strong, which is why many male victims of domestic abuse feel they can't ask for help.

Just how big is the problem of gender violence? Here are some stats on the same scale — seconds AND per year.

Abuse in seconds:

Abuse per year:

Too much.

What can we do? How can we care? This is a quagmire of gender yuck.

The answer, my friends, is FEMINISM.

Feminism: A movement that seeks to achieve social, political, and
economic equality for people of all genders.

Feminism seeks to dismantle the patriarchy. You don't even have to ask it to! (But you can!)

Yep.

Remember how feminist folks want equality, even for dudes? Making what happens in this video a thing of the past is *exactly* what those feminists are talking about.

So there you have it. Gender violence is a problem; feminism wants to solve it. So let's all dismantle the patriarchy together.

Who's with me???

If you need help, please don't be afraid to reach out. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or (800) 787-3224 for TTY.

Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


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Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy asked his Senate colleagues the questions millions of Americans have after a mass shooting.

Another school shooting. Another mass murder of innocent children. They were elementary school kids this time. There were 18 children killed—so far—this time.

The fact that I can say "this time" is enraging, but that's the routine nature of mass shootings in the U.S. It happened in Texas this time. At least three adults were killed this time. The shooter was a teenager this time.

The details this time may be different than the last time and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that. But there's one thing all mass shootings have in common. No, it's not mental illness. It's not racism or misogyny or religious extremism. It's not bad parenting or violent video games or lack of religion.

Some of those things have been factors in some shootings, but the single common denominator in every mass shooting is guns. That's not a secret. It's not controversial. It's fact. The only thing all mass shootings have in common is guns.

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Joy

Meet Eva, the hero dog who risked her life saving her owner from a mountain lion

Wilson had been walking down a path with Eva when a mountain lion suddenly appeared.

Photo by Didssph on Unsplash

A sweet face and fierce loyalty: Belgian Malinois defends owner.

The Belgian Malinois is a special breed of dog. It's highly intelligent, extremely athletic and needs a ton of interaction. While these attributes make the Belgian Malinois the perfect dog for police and military work, they can be a bit of a handful as a typical pet.

As Belgian Malinois owner Erin Wilson jokingly told NPR, they’re basically "a German shepherd on steroids or crack or cocaine.”

It was her Malinois Eva’s natural drive, however, that ended up saving Wilson’s life.

According to a news release from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, Wilson had been walking down a path with Eva slightly ahead of her when a mountain lion suddenly appeared and swiped Wilson across the left shoulder. She quickly yelled Eva’s name and the dog’s instincts kicked in immediately. Eva rushed in to defend her owner.

It wasn’t long, though, before the mountain lion won the upper hand, much to Wilson’s horror.

She told TODAY, “They fought for a couple seconds, and then I heard her start crying. That’s when the cat latched on to her skull.”

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