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People freak out when he hits her in public. Watch what happens when she hits him.

Plenty of these social experiments are floating around lately, but this one really made me stop and think. It's pretty hard to ignore the extremely different reactions you see between the two scenarios. Check below the video for the why that's missing from the experiment. Trigger warning: Scenes of violence between a man and woman.

People freak out when he hits her in public. Watch what happens when she hits him.

Have you ever noticed that when women are being abused, people are more likely to intervene...

(Although, not often enough, if you ask me.)


...but when people see a woman harassing or abusing a man, people tend to laugh it off?

"LOL wimmen be cray!" — guy in the red

BUT! Did you know there's a social structure in place that allows for this double standard of gender violence to exist?

Tell 'em, Joe!

That social structure, my friends ... is called PATRIARCHY.

Patriarchy is why:

  • Men are expected to be big, tough, macho dudes who hit things and are allergic to feelings.
  • Women are expected to be maternal, nurturing, emotional ladies who are delicate and love babies.

These gender roles are bad for everyone.

  • Patriarchy blames women who are abused by men for provoking their "natural male aggression."
  • Patriarchy hurts MEN, too. It says that men must be strong, which is why many male victims of domestic abuse feel they can't ask for help.

Just how big is the problem of gender violence? Here are some stats on the same scale — seconds AND per year.

Abuse in seconds:

Abuse per year:

Too much.

What can we do? How can we care? This is a quagmire of gender yuck.

The answer, my friends, is FEMINISM.

Feminism: A movement that seeks to achieve social, political, and
economic equality for people of all genders.

Feminism seeks to dismantle the patriarchy. You don't even have to ask it to! (But you can!)

Yep.

Remember how feminist folks want equality, even for dudes? Making what happens in this video a thing of the past is *exactly* what those feminists are talking about.

So there you have it. Gender violence is a problem; feminism wants to solve it. So let's all dismantle the patriarchy together.

Who's with me???

If you need help, please don't be afraid to reach out. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or (800) 787-3224 for TTY.

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Anne Hebert, a marketing writer living in Austin, TX, jokes that her closest friends think that her hobby is "low-key harassment for social good". She authors a website devoted entirely to People Doing Good Things. She's hosted a yearly canned food drive with up to 150 people stopping by to donate, resulting in hundreds of pounds of donations to take to the food bank for the past decade.

"I try to share info in a positive way that gives people hope and makes them aware of solutions or things they can do to try to make the world a little better," she said.

For now, she's encouraging people through a barrage of persistent, informative, and entertaining emails with one goal in mind: getting people to VOTE. The thing about emailing people and talking about politics, according to Hebert, is to catch their attention—which is how lice got involved.

"When my kids were in elementary school, I was class parent for a year, which meant I had to send the emails to the other parents. As I've learned over the years, a good intro will trick your audience into reading the rest of the email. In fact, another parent told me that my emails always stood out, especially the one that started: 'We need volunteers for the Valentine's Party...oh, and LICE.'"

Hebert isn't working with a specific organization. She is simply trying to motivate others to find ways to plug in to help get out the vote.

Photo by Phillip Goldsberry on Unsplash

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