"Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."
Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.
But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.
John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."
Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.
1. Getting an annual doctor visit.
young woman visiting her doctor
This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”
2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.
Woman at the dentist
"Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it's better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.
As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn't want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.
…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.
“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.
Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.
Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.
Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…
3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.
an image of STD tests
“If you're uncomfortable with your GP, or you don't have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it's better to know,” he said.
4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot."
A man having just got a vaccine.
"We're talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you're under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It's three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.
And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.
5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.
Image of pills
For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.
Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.
6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.
Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent.
John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month."
"It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that's important," he added. "But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time."
7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.
Woman holding a cellphone
“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?" he said. "I don't care if it's any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you're under no contract—you have so much freedom.”
Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.
8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.
There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time.
This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.
“You don't need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever... you don't need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu... All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like 'My List.' And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.
What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.
“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.
Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.
“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”
You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.
Watch the full video below:
@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound - John
This article originally appeared on 12.10.23
Louis M. Profeta MD explains why he looks at the social media accounts of dead patients before talking their parents.
Losing a loved one is easily the worst moment you'll face in your life. But it can also affect the doctors who have to break it to a patient's friends and family. Louis M. Profeta MD, an Emergency Physician at St. Vincent Emergency Physicians in Indianapolis, Indiana, recently took to LinkedIn to share the reason he looks at a patient's Facebook page before telling their parents they've passed.
The post, titled "I'll Look at Your Facebook Profile Before I Tell Your Mother You're Dead," has attracted thousands of likes and comments.
"It kind of keeps me human," Profeta starts. "You see, I'm about to change their lives — your mom and dad, that is. In about five minutes, they will never be the same, they will never be happy again."
"Right now, to be honest, you're just a nameless dead body that feels like a wet bag of newspapers that we have been pounding on, sticking IV lines and tubes and needles in, trying desperately to save you. There's no motion, no life, nothing to tell me you once had dreams or aspirations. I owe it to them to learn just a bit about you before I go in."
"Because right now... all I am is mad at you, for what you did to yourself and what you are about to do to them. I know nothing about you. I owe it to your mom to peek inside of your once-living world.”
Dr. Profeta talks his experience with the death of a patient.
Photo from Tedx Talk on YouTube.
Profeta explains that the death of a patient makes him angry:
"Maybe you were texting instead of watching the road, or you were drunk when you should have Ubered. Perhaps you snorted heroin or Xanax for the first time or a line of coke, tried meth or popped a Vicodin at the campus party and did a couple shots.”
"Maybe you just rode your bike without a helmet or didn't heed your parents' warning when they asked you not to hang out with that 'friend,' or to be more cautious when coming to a four-way stop. Maybe you just gave up."
"Maybe it was just your time, but chances are... it wasn't."
The facebook app.Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Profeta goes on to explain why he checks a patient's Facebook page:
"So I pick up your faded picture of your driver's license and click on my iPhone, flip to Facebook and search your name. Chances are we'll have one mutual friend somewhere. I know a lot of people.”"I see you wearing the same necklace and earrings that now sit in a specimen cup on the counter, the same ball cap or jacket that has been split open with trauma scissors and pulled under the backboard, the lining stained with blood. Looks like you were wearing it to the U2 concert. I heard it was great."
"I see your smile, how it should be, the color of eyes when they are filled with life, your time on the beach, blowing out candles, Christmas at Grandma's; oh you have a Maltese, too. I see that. I see you standing with your mom and dad in front of the sign to your college. Good, I'll know exactly who they are when I walk into the room. It makes it that much easier for me, one less question I need to ask.”
"You're kind of lucky that you don't have to see it. Dad screaming your name over and over, mom pulling her hair out, curled up on the floor with her hand over her head as if she's trying to protect herself from unseen blows.”
"I check your Facebook page before I tell them you're dead because it reminds me that I am talking about a person, someone they love — it quiets the voice in my head that is screaming at you right now shouting: 'You mother f--ker, how could you do this to them, to people you are supposed to love!'"
— Updated June 5, 2019.
This article originally appeared on June 5, 2019
He has quite a bit to say.
When you're a kid you rarely have a lot of say in what you get to eat for dinner. The adult in your house is the one that gets to decide and you have to eat whatever they put on your plate. But one little boy is simply tired of eating chicken and he doesn't care who knows it. Well, he cares if his mom knows.
Lacy Marie uploaded a video from her doorbell camera to TikTok her son. The little boy is caught on camera taking the trash out venting about always having to eat chicken. He rants all the way to the trash can, being sure to get it out of his system before he makes it back into the house.
"Chicken. No more chicken. Tell me you like, we have chicken every day. Eat this, eat that, eat more chicken, keep eating it," the 10-year-old complains. "It's healthy for you. Like, we get it. We have chicken every day."
Apparently the little boy doesn't think eating chicken every day is good for his gains at the gym as he says he works out. He does not care about lean protein and likely doesn't care about whatever science is behind chicken being a healthy food to consume for muscle development. He. Doesn't. Want. Chicken. And it seems like the commenters under the video are on his side.
"Give that man a steak," one person says.
"My dud has been married for 25 years and he's had enough," another jokes.
"Every single day of his years?! Really mom?," someone laughs
"I'm thinking you need to give chicken a break. He's been eating it everyday of all of his years," a commenter writes.
Even Sam's Club got in on the jokes saying, "chickens hearing this," with two eye emojis with an open mouth. Poor little guy, the internet is on your side, maybe you'll get some burgers instead.
Check out the video below:
10-year-old caught on doorbell cam venting!! #hilarious #nomorechicken #heworksout
A hilarious conversation about "the vagina zone" turned into an important message about patriarchy from mother to daughter.
Belinda Hankins and her 13-year-old daughter, Bella, seem to have a great relationship, one that is often played out over text message.
Sure they play around like most teens and parents do, but in between the joking and stealing of desserts, they're incredibly open and honest with each other. This is key, especially since Melinda is a single parent and thus is the designated teacher of "the ways of the world."
But, wow, she is a champ at doing just that in the chillest way possible. Of course, it helps having an incredibly self-aware daughter who has grown up knowing she can be super real with her mom.
Case in point, this truly epic text exchange took place over the weekend while Bella was hunting for tampons at the store.
Here's how Belinda introduced it on Facebook:
"THIS was the highlight of my parenting week. Sending my 13-year-old daughter into the store for (whispers) 'feminine hygiene products,' and having the following text exchange."
Let's give this the fanfare it deserves.
Act 1: The "right" aisle.
Every woman, whether she's 13 or 30 has said or thought "THEY'RE NOT HERRREEEEEE" while standing in an aisle, desperately searching for period products. It's like they're trying to make it a scavenger hunt for which we did not sign up.
Act 2: Everything is a lie.
Act 3: Success! Well, sort of.
That's right, Bella. Vagina, like Voldemort, is a word some people refuse to invoke because they're terrified what great, untamed powers doing so might unleash.
Act 4: The truth.
Only a truly great mom could put this in such a way that inspires laughter and fist-pumping agreement at the same time.
Act 5: Smash the patriarchy!
A brilliant conclusion, mom/daughter solidarity AND an accurate map that illustrates what women encounter on a daily basis? If this exchange were a stage play, it would receive five stars.
And many others have agreed; the Facebook post has already been shared over 57,000 times in just two days.
So hip-hip-hooray for moms like Belinda who are candid with their kids on issues big and small and teach them how to be strong using humor and real talk.
The more hilarious conversations like Belinda's and Bella's about vaginas and the patriarchy that there are in the world, the better.
This article originally appeared on 09.14.16
"Don't feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK."
The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.
Butcher had been battling Ewing's sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher's memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.
"It is with great sadness that we announce Holly's passing in the early hours of this morning," they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. "After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above."
Butcher's message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.
We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.
Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she's learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.
"It's a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young," she began. "I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That's the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right."
Butcher's poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:
1. "I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. ... Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It's OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people's days."
2. "Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. ... I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I'm watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more."
Holly Butcher shares a big smile for the camera.
Photo courtesy of Remembering Holly Butcher/Facebook used with permission.
3. "I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things…until your body doesn't allow you to do either of them… Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn't your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is."
4. "Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people."
5. "This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn't have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves ... strange! ... but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. ... Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas."
6. "Use your money on experiences ... or at least don't miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water."
7. "Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn't meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo."
"Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them..." Holly Butcher.
Photo courtesy of Remembering Holly Butcher/Facebook used with permission.
8. "Listen to music ... really listen. Music is therapy."
9. "Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that."
10. "Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?"
11. "Travel if it's your desire, don't if it's not."
12. "Work to live, don't live to work."
13. "Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy."
14. "Don't feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK."
15. "Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have."
16. "Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life."
Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.
"What a wise soul she is," someone concluded. "I'm off to donate my blood."
Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️
If you are in the U.S. and inspired by Butcher's message, consider finding a blood donation center near you. You could save a life.
This article originally appeared on 01.08.18
A college student who was fed up with his classmate has gone viral for calling out his own ignorance
Don't judge a book by its cover.
You know that feeling you get when you walk into a classroom and see someone else's stuff on your desk?
OK, sure, there are no assigned seats, but you've been sitting at the same desk since the first day and everyone knows it.
So why does the guy who sits next to you put his phone, his book, his charger, his lunch, and his laptop in the space that's rightfully yours? It's annoying.
All you want to do was walk in, sit down, get out your notebook and (try to) pay attention. But now? Now you've got to talk to a stranger about moving their stuff and there goes your day, already bogged down with petty annoyances.
Sound familiar? It should.
We've all got so much to do these days that interacting with people we see every day — not our friends, but our classmates, fellow commuters, co-workers, the people in line for coffee with us every day — can feel like a burden.
So, when these people do something we perceive as annoying, like putting their stuff on our desks, we don't have the time or the energy to assume their intentions or think about the lives they're leading.
But if we stepped out of ourselves for a second, we might just realize that we're all much more connected than we think, that our preconceived notions of others are usually just that — preconceived. And, often, inaccurate.
That's why this Twitter story about a guy who learned an important life lesson from a classmate he was frustrated with is going viral.
It's the perfect example of that "don't judge a book by its cover" adage we should have all learned in preschool but sometimes forget. And it starts the exact same way as this post — with a college student groaning on the inside as he sees someone's stuff on his desk.
If not for this one day running late, McFall may have never realized what his classmate was trying to do. And he may have continued to think of him as annoying, maybe telling others about "the weird guy who was always trying to take up my space"... when all the guy was really trying to do was be kind.
We all misinterpret the actions of others sometimes. It's easy to do that!
But if there's one thing this story reminds us, it's that it's important to stop and remember that while you're living your life, other people are living theirs, so assuming best intentions can do us a great favor.
That's why we should step outside of our bubbles and engage with the world on a regular basis.
You could make a new friend. You might brighten someone's day.
But most importantly, getting out of your own head, checking your own biases, and giving others the benefit of the doubt will make you a more compassionate person.
You don't have to engage with everyone you meet, but the next time someone smiles and offers you a high-five?
Maybe just take them up on it.
This article was originally published on April 16, 2018.