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Education

Incredible new instrument empowers paralyzed people to play music with their eyes

eyeharp, music for people with disabilities, zacharias vamvakousis

Fourteen-year-old Joel Bueno jams on his EyeHarp.

Playing an instrument can have incredible benefits for people with disabilities. The repetition and memorization required to play an instrument stimulate learning. It helps people to improve their focus and calms their anxieties. It also provides them with an important emotional and creative outlet while putting them on an equal social footing with people who may not live with the same struggles.

The problem is that some people with disabilities that affect their limbs and coordination aren’t physically able to play an instrument. But all of that is changing due to the work of a Greek professor, Dr. Zacharias Vamvakousis.

In 2008, a musician friend of Vamvakousis got into a serious motorcycle accident that threatened his ability to play the guitar.

This inspired the professor to look for ways to combine his computer science skills with his passion for music. “I realized that the technology was there, but that nobody had done anything about it,” he said according to Christian Science Monitor.


It led to Vamvakousis developing the EyeHarp for his final project for the master’s degree in music technology he was pursuing in Barcelona. He then pursued and earned a Ph.D. in digital musical instruments for people with disabilities.

The EyeHarp is a gaze-activated instrument that can be played by simply moving one's eyes. According to its website, it offers the “same expressive qualities as any traditional instrument.”

Musicians can play the EyeHarp by downloading and installing the software and using the program with an eye-tracker camera. Notes appear on the screen in a color-coded wheel that can be played by moving one’s eyes.

Players are given the option to choose whether to use a pentatonic or heptatonic scale and can practice with or without rhythm. The app has a gamification mode where players can test their skills and be scored on their accuracy.

The EyeHarp has made music accessible to people with cerebral palsy, spinal cord injuries, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, muscular dystrophy and amputations. It can also be played by people with intellectual disabilities.

Currently, there are around 650 EyeHarp players in the world. One of its most enthusiastic supporters is 14-year-old Joel Bueno, who says that the instrument brings him joy and allows him to express his emotions with others.

“The way Joel plays this instrument and flourishes is mind-blowing,” Tamar Zamora, a musician who was accompanied by Bueno said. “Seeing him enjoy himself and brimming with happiness on the chair is extraordinary.”

Bueno’s mother, Laura Bueno, believes that the instrument has opened a world of possibilities for her son.

“We knew certain activities like playing soccer or music would be impossible for Joel,” Laura said. “When EyeHarp appeared, we felt, my God, if we can do this we can do anything.”

Although Vamvakousis has already allowed hundreds of people to experience playing music who wouldn’t have otherwise, there is still a lot more work to be done. In 2019, he created the EyeHarp Association, a nonprofit that’s goal is to further develop the instrument and have it available to as many people as possible for the lowest piece.

“I wanted to make all this available to anyone,” Vamvakousis said.


Sponsored

3 organic recipes that feed a family of 4 for under $7 a serving

O Organics is the rare brand that provides high-quality food at affordable prices.

A woman cooking up a nice pot of pasta.

Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.

By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.

Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.

O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.


“We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”

With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.

Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)

O Organic’s Tacos and Refried Beans ($6.41 Per Serving)

Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 20 minutes

Total time: 22 minutes

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 packet O Organics Taco Seasoning ($2.29)

O Organics Mexican-Style Cheese Blend Cheese ($4.79)

O Organics Chunky Salsa ($3.99)

O Organics Taco Shells ($4.29)

1 can of O Organics Refried Beans ($2.29)

Instructions:

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].

3. Add taco meat to the shell, top with cheese and salsa as desired.

4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.

tacos, o organics, family recipesO Organics Mexican-style blend cheese.via O Organics

O Organics Hamburger Stew ($4.53 Per Serving)

Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 7 hours

Total time: 7 hours 15 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 ½ lbs O Organics Gold Potatoes ($4.49)

3 O Organics Carrots ($2.89)

1 tsp onion powder

I can O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 cups water

1 yellow onion diced ($1.00)

1 clove garlic ($.50)

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 tsp Italian seasoning or oregano

Instructions:

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.

3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.

4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.

5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!

potatoes, o organics, hamburger stewO Organics baby gold potatoes.via O Organics


O Organics Ground Beef and Pasta Skillet ($4.32 Per Serving)

This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 25 minutes

Total time: 27 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 tbsp. olive oil

2 tsp dried basil

1 tsp garlic powder

1 can O Organics Diced Tomatoes ($2.00)

1 can O Organics Tomato Sauce ($2.29)

1 tbsp O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 1/4 cups water

2 cups O Organics Rotini Pasta ($3.29)

1 cup O Organics Mozzarella cheese ($4.79)

Instructions:

1. Brown ground beef in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks.

2. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder

3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.

4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

5. Remove the lid, sprinkle with cheese and allow it to cool.

o organics, tomato basil pasta sauce, olive oilO Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil.via O Organics

Family

Texas UPS driver proudly explains why he never helps his wife do any chores

“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”

J.R. Minton's video has over 6 million views.

Even though America has come a long way in gender relations over the past few decades men are still far behind women when accepting domestic responsibilities.

A recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women aged 15 and over spend 5.7 hours daily on domestic tasks, whereas men spend 3.6 hours, a 37 percent difference. Women with a 35-hour week devote 4.9 hours daily to home chores and child care, compared to men's 3.8 hours.

In a world where men still trail behind women when it comes to work on the homefront, a Texas UPS driver is going viral for a TikTok video where he urges men to reconsider how they think about domestic responsibilities.


In a video with over 6 million views, J.R. Minton proudly says he doesn’t “help” his wife with jobs around the house. “I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” Minton, 32, began his clip.

Warning: Strong language.

So, why does Minton refuse to help his wife?

"Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view their relationship to domestic responsibilities and their wives. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

The video received raves from women in the comments. Sadly, many used the video to share that their husbands have fallen short of Minton’s level of understanding. "My husband sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet," Human Robot wrote. "I am sending this straight to my man he needs to see this," JJsMom added.

"Yep! My husband and I recognize it’s BOTH our kids and BOTH our house, therefore BOTH our responsibility," Sweetheart wrote.

Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he was raised much differently and wants to right the wrongs of his past. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com

Minton knew that his philosophy on marriage was necessary when a woman at Target praised him for doing the “bare minimum." “I was wearing the baby, and I had two kids in the cart, and this lady comes up to Brittany, and she’s like, ‘Oh my God. Is this your husband!? Look at him. You should take a picture of him,’” Minton said. “I get so much credit for doing nothing. How low is the bar?"

Minton responded to his viral video with a heartfelt follow-up to everyone who loved how he cared for his wife and family. “I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone,” he said. “However, I’d like to take a second to say: I am not special. I am no ‘unicorn.’ I am normal.”

“Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary,” he continued. “Every father and husband we know (that seems to come up short) is fully-capable — yet unwilling.” He added that there was one thing that separates dads who do their part and dads who don’t: “Effort.”


This article originally appeared on 10.16.23

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

Photos by Eddson Lens (left) and Big Bag Films (right)

Librarians and bass guitar players were both mentioned as "good people" professions.

Have you ever noticed that the majority of people in certain jobs seem to be a bit nicer that most other people? More solid? More honest? A little more high-level humans overall?

While there's a wide range of personal diversity in every profession, there are some careers that seem to either attract or produce exceptional people. Exceptions to the exceptional exist, of course, but there are some jobs that people are calling out—with many people in agreement—as having the "coolest, most honest, most together people."


Park Rangers

People who care about nature, protect our public lands and help educate the public about good stewardship? Not surprising that Reddit users would call those folks solid human beings.

"Park rangers are some of the coolest, most genuine people you'll meet. They care deeply about nature, are always willing to help visitors, and have fascinating stories about the wildlife and landscapes they protect." – Sexy-Ass18

"Seconded. First thing I ever wanted to be was a park ranger, because the ones I knew were just the coolest." – belligerentoptimist

"Can confirm all of this. One of my best friends from high school is a LEO ranger and actually now in a fairly major role at Yellowstone. She is seriously the coolest individual, absolutely one of the best humans ever. She went to school for wildlife education or something like that, but has gone to FLETC training and basically ran the internal prison at Yellowstone for a while. She is one of the most badass people I know. She told me once that they have millions of visitors per year. All of those visitors bring all of their problems (domestic abuse, drugs, alcoholism, theft, etc) to the parks with them, so.... the park had a prison for holding people until they could be turned over to other law enforcement. They also had particular people who would deal with visitors who died in the park, including liaising with families, helping arrange to get remains returned home, etc. And that happened regularly. Apparently national parks are a major suicide destination, which is incredibly hard on the rangers who have to deal with it. She told me stories about deaths at the Grand Canyon when she was there.... It was exactly as bad as you imagine it would be to deal with suicides at the Grand Canyon. They do not leave them there, so.... Yeah. And people have to clean it up. It's absolutely insane all that goes on in the major parks that nobody thinks about." – SpectrumDiva

"One of my college friends is a park ranger. He's just the coolest guy. Always feel lucky when we get to hang out, get our kids all mixed up.

That being said, he's raising fearless heathens. One picked up a snake and was like "it's ok, we have the antidote in the truck." while waving it at my poor, defenseless city kids. They just ran away haha. Park ranger friend made his kid put the snake back and gave him an earful about not harassing wildlife and city people." – ButtWhispererer

Librarians

Lots of love for librarians out there.

"Honestly, from my anecdotal experience...librarians. Smart, consistently know how to deal with the greater public, great resources of knowledge, and live for the truth." – SirVeritas79

"I have always loved the way they talk to me when I have a question. I never feel stupid or bad for asking. They really are a 'people person.'" – SillyGayBoy

"YES! Agree! My wife and I have a couple of friends who are librarians and they are probably some of the smartest, most patient and kind people we know. And none of them are 280 years old, which used to be the stereotype I had of librarians because that was all I ever saw growing up. One of those friends is married to a childhood buddy of mine - they are both in their late 40s - been together since their 20s. When they first met I was shocked that someone so young was a librarian lol but also thought it was awesome. I’ve told them both many times that they can’t ever get divorced because we are keeping both of them ha ha

"Seriously though librarians are community treasures and a way underrated profession. 💯" – Intrepid_Detective

"I worked at as a children's librarian assistant for 3 years. It was awesome. People there were so chill, easy to get along with. Best office environment ever. Good stable government job, no need to constantly apply for grants or hustle. And knowledge all around." – kathmhughes

"As a librarian, I've often remarked that the best part of the profession is other librarians." – thatbob

Bass Players

"Bass players in a jazz band...best job in the world I might add." – myobservationonly

"Bass players in general honestly. Which is a tough thing to admit as a guitarist." – tintedwithrose

"As a pianist who usually plays right next to them...agreed. Bassists are my homies." – Casul_Tryhard

"As a drummer I totally agree. My bass player is probably the most talented member of our band, but he'd rather put everyone else in the spotlight. Also, even though he's super frugal he will gladly pay for dinner and drinks and buy us tickets to shows. He's a great guy and I'm really proud to say he's my friend." – Childish_Calrissian

"Most of the bassists I've met are kind, selfless people. I think there's something about the role of the instrument itself that attracts the kind of people who enjoy holding it all together without needing the attention and adulation that comes with it.

Of course, being a bassist myself, this could be complete bias lol." – the_alt_fright

"Singer here. It’s true. Every bass player I’ve played with is an exceptional human. My wife is one and she’s my rock. The bassist I played with on Saturday has his own non-profit for homeless outreach. My main bass player makes incredible falafel wraps when we carpool, with sourdough pita from scratch." – cha-do


Toll Booth Operators (but only in certain places, apparently)

Oddly enough, some toll booth operators in certain countries and specific places in the U.S. got a shout-out for being utterly delightful.

"In Japan, for some inexplicable reason, tollbooth operators. Everytime I take the freeway, those people are the friendliest, cheeriest, just overall nice people I meet in a month. Zero clue why." – festoon_the_dragoon

"It's actually the same here in Ireland. Always wondered why but they are super friendly every time you go through." – 5Ben5

"The toll booth operators on the Mackinaw Bridge are all super nice." – HalfaYooper

"I’ve actually had pretty positive experiences for the most part while using tolls in the northeast US! Pretty shockingly friendly people. To the point where my partner and I were like, 'how do you think they stay so cheery while literally sitting in the middle of a highway for hours on end?'" – Outandabout2023

"A few weeks ago I was driving to Topeka, KS and the toll booth operator was so friendly and asked me if I was doing anything fun in Topeka while I was there. I told her I was just picking up a movie from Vintage Stock but she was so friendly and the best part of my mini road trip from KC. I’ve actually never had an unfriendly Kansas toll booth experience." – i_n_c_r_y_p_t_o

Geologists

"Every geologist I ever met has been a pretty interesting, humble and enjoyable person to be around. Somebody who works in the field will probably reply back and disagree, lol." – LittleKitty235

"My father was a geologist, in the 70s he quit working for (major US oilco) because they wanted him to falsify data. So, yeah, they're honest. My dad told me once that it was one of the most romantic of the sciences...it wasn't the study of rocks but of how planets are formed, and therefore life. I so miss him." – WorldBiker

"Came here to say Geologist and surprised to see it near the top. We are awesome haha!" – Latchkey_Wizzard

These responses also prompted a flood of geologist puns, which pretty much rocked:

"They probably had a good foundation growing up."

"Agreed. Very down to earth and grounded in reality."

"I think they just don't try to find faults in people."

"They're good at digging beneath the crust of a person and seeing what's on the inside.'

"Generally speaking, rock solid people."

"They focus on having good mantle health."

"At their core, they accept the fluid nature of existence."

"They’re really gneiss, and don’t take friendship for granite."

"They’re truly sedimental people."

"There has to be one or two who are full of schist though, right?"

"I bet they dig these comments!"

Local Beat Newspaper Reporters

"Print reporters who’ve covered the same community their whole lives are pretty amazing people. People like to glom together all media, but reporters with a civic drive are some of the most curious and honest people I’ve ever spent time around. If you want people who really want to get to the bottom of a story and operate from facts/evidence, these are people to pay attention to. We owe a lot of what we actually know for sure in society to the labor local reporters." – SenorSplashdamage

"Very true, but they're all nearing extinction. The ones I know are just struggling to make it to retirement.

I've been a media guy for nearly four decades. Print reporters are good people." – Lincoln_Park_Pirate

"My uncle was a reporter in the Twin Cities his entire career. He wrote for the paper and local magazine. Extremely interesting guy who has a story about everything and seems to know the history of every patch of land and building in the area." – evilhomer3k

"I live in a small-ish town (about 15,000 residents). For years, we had a local paper, but it eventually went under as it was not profitable as the world moved more toward internet news. So, for a few years, we had nothing. Then, a guy who didn't even live in the town (but it was where he grew up) started an "online newspaper" and covered everything that went on (good and bad) pretty much as a labor of love and in addition to his job as a reporter at one of the much larger local papers. He makes a little bit of money from banner ads and sponsored ads, but that pretty much only covers his costs. However, he spends his time covering things in town, interviewing people, going to meetings, writing obituaries, etc. Plus, of late, he has taken some high school and college students under his wing and sent them out to report on some things in town. He is not obligated to do ANY of it - he's not profiting from it in any way, it is of no advantage to him, but he does it anyway... That speaks volumes about his character to me." – Madeline73

The human family is full of all kinds of people with a virtually endless array of personalities, characteristics, qualities and interests. But some simply stand out for their awesomeness and congregate in certain jobs, so here's to the park rangers, librarians, bass players and others who have earned a reputation for being solid human beings we can all appreciate.

A therapist shares some advice with her clients.

A good therapist has the magical ability to take our messiest problems and break them down in a way that makes sense. They have an incredible way of showing us our struggles from a fresh perspective and quite often, the answers were right in front of our faces the whole time. We just needed their help to nudge us in the right direction.

For some, a therapist's simple, sage wisdom can change their lives with just one poignant realization.

Recently, a Redditor named BuildingBridges23 asked people on the subforum to share the priceless bits of wisdom that changed their lives and over 5,300 people responded. The pithy but powerful observations they shared were helpful to many people and more than one called the thread “free therapy.”


Here are 19 of the best responses to the question: “What's something your therapist said that was life-changing?”

1. You can't fix sick

"You're going to put yourself in an early grave trying to make your mother happy. Your mother is sick, trying to make her happy is like trying to fill a bucket that has no bottom, its not going to happen unless she fixes the bucket. You can't fix it for her." — ModerateDude9


2. Other people's feelings

"I asked him, 'How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?' and he said "They aren't my feelings.'" — Wirestyle22


3. Coping with death

"'The way your parents died will never be the most interesting thing about you. It's not even the most interesting thing about THEM.' My parents died by suicide together and I was worried that it was going to consume me as an individual. I didnt want their deaths or my grief to become my entire identity." — Crazyofo


4. Being brave

"When I broke down because I was so fed up with being scared and anxious all the time, he said something like. 'You can’t be brave without being scared first.' It always stuck with me that fear, no matter how overwhelming, won’t last forever and I try to see it as a chance for me to prove to myself I can fight back and try to get through this." — AnxiousAxolotyl88


5. Change

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change." ؅— SpicyEmmaa

6. Dealing with mental illness

"Just because the mentally ill person screaming at you lives in your home instead of on the streets doesn't mean their opinion is any more true." — UnorignalUse

7. People are like colanders

"Some people are like a colander. It doesn't matter how much time, love and support you pour into them, it will never fill them up enough to make a difference." — Competitive-Watch188

8. Boundaries

"The only people in your life who will be angry because you established boundaries were the people who benefitted from you not having them in the first place." — Imagine_magic

9. Other people's anxiety

"'Be the mirror, not the sponge.' Don’t absorb other people’s stress and anxiety, show it back to them gently. Changed my life." — CariocaInLA

10. Sensitive people

"That being a 'highly sensitive person' is just how I’m built. It’s not something that’s wrong with me or something that I necessarily have to change. I just have to accept it, to learn my boundaries and needs and live accordingly." — stuttering-mime-ta2


11. For people-pleasers

"'You don’t need to please everyone all of the time. People who love you will not leave you because you disagree with them or do something they don’t like.' She nailed a lot of my behaviours back to the fact my biological dad left when I was 9 months old. I cannot cope with perceived abandonment, and will do everything in my power to keep people happy… because they might leave me." — RhiR2020

12. It's not about you

"'You aren’t that interesting.' I would have panic attacks and paranoia that people were out to get me (PTSD, etc) and would think that people were judging me in grocery stores because my toddler was crying or that my hair was messy. And honestly it boiled down to…nobody cares. We’re all trying to survive and get through the day and what someone looks like or does, we observe and move on." — jac_kayyy

13. Judgement

"We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions." — Horny_Rapunzel

14. It's simple

"'The answer is simple. That doesn't mean it's easy, but it's simple.' I was doing what I always do in difficult, scary situations that I don't want to deal with head-on; I was overthinking and over-complicating what I needed to do to be happy again. The answer was actually quite simple: I needed to tell my (now ex-husband) that I wanted a divorce." — RovenshereExpress

15. Realize your unhappiness

"At the third session with our couples counselor, my wife and I had a brief ten-minute private session with our therapist. During my session, the therapist said, 'You need to accept the possibility of a divorce. You are trying to do the right thing and be supportive, but you can't do that alone. Your wife is taking advantage of you. You can't see how unhappy you are. That will change within a year after your divorce.' Yup. She was right. My wife and I agreed to divorce during the 4th session. I am finally happy, and love my life." — BlueCollarBeagle

16. Hurt

"Just because you were hurt when you were younger, doesn't mean randoms have the right to hurt you now." — Paeliens

17. See-saw relationship

"A relationship is like a see-saw. If the other person doesn't want to participate, you can keep going, but you'll get really tired." — SendInYourSkeleton

18. Panic

"Not my therapist, but a friend told me hers said this: 'You do not have enough information to panic about that yet.' Whenever I catch myself spiraling about the unknown, I try to remember that." — Bananaphone1549

19. Heart attacks

"It wasn’t my therapist, it was my doctor, but it was life-changing. I had been 300+ pounds all of my adult life and I was in for a physical and he said to me: 'You know, the first symptom of a heart attack is a heart attack.' It was what caused me to change my life at age 54 and lose 110 pounds in 16 months and I became a runner. I have run a race in all 50 states, 26 Halifax marathons and 2 full marathons, Chicago and Boston. That one thing he said to me kicked off my decision for better health! That was 15 years ago." — BlueJasper27

@professorneil/TikTok

A father pulling his weight shouldn't be considered "helping."

Yes, we’ve come a long way regarding gender equality. But if there’s any proof that we’ve still got a long way to go, look no further than the attitudes many still have when it comes to parenting roles.

Many still consider a father as “helping out” with a mom’s inherent responsibility when he participates in taking care of children, rather than simply being an equally contributing partner. And if mom is not working, the nuclear family ideal is even more persistent…as it is assumed she is the sole caretaker of the kids with no job to distract her.

All this can make the already difficult early chapters of parenthood next to impossible…and certainly not as enjoyable as they could be for moms who find themselves both partner-less and village-less.


Neil Shyminsky, a college professor and new dad, recently delved into this issue when he explained why he still participates in nighttime feedings—even though he works a full time job and his wife is on parental leave.

Shyminsky’s video was actually a response to another video made by labor equality advocate Paige Turner, who shared that someone called her “crazy” and “selfish” for suggesting a working dad should still wake up early with a new baby to give his wife an occasional break.

@professorneil #stitch with @Paige We’re all working, we’re all tired, and we all have to work in the morning, too #parenting #work #labor ♬ original sound - Professor Neil

“So it's currently 2 a.m. and I'm awake with this little one,” he says in the clip, explaining that he’ll be “on call for another two hours or so” until he switches with his wife, who is currently on parental leave.

As Shyminsky sees it, both parents are still currently working full-time, which makes his participating in overnight activities a no brainer.

“I might have to work a full day on four hours of really awful sleep, but I mean, what's the alternative? That she has to work a full day on none?” he asks.

As he eloquently puts it: “Parenting's work, parenting's labor. Stay-at-home parents work. I have no idea why we are still having this argument. Yeah, I can't figure it out there.”

So many viewers wrote in to praise Shyminsky’s rational take.

“It is exhausting to be the only parent to wake up at night.”

“I never understood the work argument. I still have to stay awake all day to take care of the baby and other kids. I need sleep.”

“Everything you said, and also the way to bond with a baby is by caring for it. That bond is worth some lost sleep.”

Others shared how they incorporated similar strategies.

One person wrote, “My husband and I had a great plan: I would go to bed around 8:00 and he would wake me up to switch around 1:00 or 2:00. We each got 5-6 hours each night. It worked for us!”

Another added, “Yeah we definitely did full night shifts. I’d take one night and husband would take the next. Lifesaver knowing you’d get a night of sleep every other night.”

Shyminsky also told Upworthy that this in no way is considered “helping” his wife, as that implies all things parenting are technically her responsibility and that he’s “assisting” her.

“When I’m not at my job, parenting is a shared and equal responsibility. So I’m not helping with the parenting, I’m sharing in it,” he said.

So true. Parenting is a full-time job…one without pay, and one that you can’t really clock in and out of. It’s downright unrealistic to expect mothers to take it all on by themselves.

via StanChris/Instagram (used with permission)

Chris Stanley interviews Timm Hanly.

LGBTQ influencer Chris Stanley was doing on-the-street reporting on June 2nd at the WeHo Pride Parade in West Hollywood, California, when he ran into a straight guy with the best reaction to the event.

WeHo is one of the largest annual Pride celebrations in the world, drawing hundreds of thousands of people every June.

Australian TV star Timm Hanly was chomping down an ice cream cone when he ran into Stanley, who asked why he was there. He calmly told Stanley that he is “straight, not gay” and just there “for the vibes.” Hanly added that his family was visiting from Australia and it was their second day in the city.

Hanly appeared on “The Bachelorette Australia” in 2019 and “Bachelor in Paradise” in 2020 and then married his wife, Briana. The couple had a baby last October. However, his newfound domestic bliss didn’t stop Hanly from enjoying the festivities. When Stanley asked if the gays threw a good party, he adamantly agreed.


“F**king’ oath. One hundred percent. No one does it better, really,” Hanly replied. (For those who don’t speak fluent Aussie, “oath” is a very affirmative version of “yes,” like when American Gen Zers say “bet.”)

Hanly doubled down on his LGBTQ allyship when he grabbed the mic after being asked how he feels when hit on by gay men. “Oh, I love this,” he responded. “Let’s say I’m walking down the street and a gay guy is like looking at me. That’s as good as a girl looking at me. That counts. That’s as good for my ego as a hot chick looking at me,” Hanly said as Chris laughed.

The video captures what many people believe LGBTQ pride is all about love, acceptance, and having a good time. Many people thought that Hanly was the perfect example of straight allyship. “I think so many people loved it because there was zero toxic masculinity at all,” Chris told Upworthy. “He was just a dude who stumbled across something gay and admired it for what it was without any hostility involved. Something we need more of.”

“My favorite response was when he said he’s ‘just here for the vibes,’” Stanley continued.

A lot of the commenters agree with Stanley.

“And that’s how straight guys who are comfortable in their own sexuality should react to [a Pride parade],” Masterwill7 wrote. “Can Tim and his wife stay in the US and teach the men around here how to be better?” HJomckinney_added.

To further his quest to understand what Pride means in America. Stanley recently created a 22-minute short film about one of the smallest Pride celebrations in America in Morgantown, West Virginia.

“Imagine a Pride celebration so small, it’s almost a secret,” he says in the opening scene. The film explains what life is like for LGBTQ Americans in a state where intolerance is a part of life. “Everyone in West Virginia has a gay neighbor, but not everyone in West Virginia wants to talk about the fact that they have a gay neighbor,” Dustin Blankenship, from nearby Granville, says in the film.

I Went to the Smallest Pride in America! | LGBTQ+ Documentary