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Mom brilliantly explains why she 'never' wants to be a supermom

"If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable."

supermoms, mom pressure, perfect mom

Laura Danger explains why she "never" wants to be a supermom.

Many mothers today grapple with the pressure to be a "supermom"—a force of nature who can handle her role in her family while heading various community organizations such as Girl Scouts, church groups, or their kid’s athletic teams.

This idealized version of motherhood can lead to two big problems, moms that fall short of these momentous expectations can suffer feelings of inadequacy. While those who are relied upon as supermoms can become stressed and burnt out.

Educator and podcast host Laura Danger is getting a lot of love on TikTok for a recent post where she rejects the idea that mothers should feel the need to be a supermom. She even goes further by saying that any organization that needs one isn’t fit to survive.

“I will fight anyone in the street who calls me a supermom,” she begins her video. “I am not a supermom. I never want a be a supermom. I never want anyone to refer to me as so strong. Jack of all trades. We literally couldn’t do it without her. If you weren’t here, everything would fall apart.”


She then explains that when people need supermoms in their families or organizations, it's a sign that things are out of balance.

Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.

@thatdarnchat

Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.

“I never want to be so essential to an organization or a group or even my family that everything relies on me,” she continued. “I want to be important enough that I matter. I want to bring something to the table. But I do not want to be the one sustaining anything.”

If a woman is the supermom in a family, it could mean that their spouse isn’t pulling their weight. In an organization, if everything relies on one person, other members need to step up.

“I do not want to be so strong,” she said. “I want to live a life of ease. I want to be empowered to rest. I am not a supermom. I will never be a super mom.”

Danger believes that if an organization needs a supermom to exist, it probably shouldn’t.

“If you were to match the energy and effort being put in by other people and give just as much as them, and the whole thing would fall apart, you are overcompensating to a point that it was unsustainable,” she concluded. “If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable.”

The post was a relief to many mothers who feel pressured to be supermoms and never considered the idea that the entire concept is toxic.

"It’s like those job postings asking for a 'rockstar' they just mean they want someone to overwork," janisthwpdc commented on the post. "So absolutely true. It’s like telling someone they do the work of three people," Seema added.

"I love this. Women in our situation need respect to feel balance—to be able to thrive and be our best which is why we were made moms to begin with,” Megs wrote.

The pressure for people to be supermoms creates a lot of stress and zaps the joy out of parenting. The fundamental job of a mother is to love and support their child, not to be a pillar that props up their entire family and community. Given all the stress of being a parent in the modern world, it’s time we start embracing “Balanced Mom” over everything else because finding a balance between work, parenting, and community is a true superpower.

Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

Gen Z is navigating a career landscape unlike any other.

True

Every adult generation has its version of a “kids these days” lament, labeling the up-and-coming generation as less resilient or hardworking compared to their own youth. But Gen Z—currently middle school age through young adulthood—is challenging that notion with their career readiness.

Take Abigail Sanders, an 18-year-old college graduate. Thanks to a dual enrollment program with her online school, she actually earned her bachelor’s degree before her high school diploma. Now she’s in medical school at Bastyr University in Washington state, on track to become a doctor by age 22.

a family of 6 at a graduation with two graduatesAll four of the Sanders kids have utilized Connections Academy to prepare for their futures.

Abigail’s twin sister, Chloe, also did dual enrollment in high school to earn her associate’s in business and is on an early college graduation path to become a vet tech.

Maeson Frymire dreams of becoming a paramedic. He got his EMT certification in high school and fought fires in New Mexico after graduation. Now he’s working towards becoming an advanced certified EMT and has carved his career path towards flight paramedicine.

Sidny Szybnski spends her summers helping run her family’s log cabin resort on Priest Lake in Idaho. She's taken business and finance courses in high school and hopes to be the third generation to run the resort after attending college.

log cabin resort on edge of forestAfter college, Sidny Szybnski hopes to run her family's resort in Priest Lake, Idaho.

Each of these learners has attended Connections Academy, tuition-free online public schools available in 29 states across the U.S., to not only get ready for college but to dive straight into college coursework and get a head start on career training as well. These students are prime examples of how Gen Zers are navigating the career prep landscape, finding their passions, figuring out their paths and making sure they’re prepared for an ever-changing job market.

Lorna Bryant, the Head of Career Education for Connections Academy’s online school program, says that Gen Z has access to a vast array of career-prep tools that previous generations didn’t have, largely thanks to the internet.

“Twenty to 30 years ago, young people largely relied on what adults told them about careers and how to get there,” Bryant tells Upworthy. “Today, teens have a lot more agency. With technology and social media, they have access to so much information about jobs, employers and training. With a tap on their phones, they can hear directly from people who are in the jobs they may be interested in. Corporate websites and social media accounts outline an organization’s mission, vision and values—which are especially important for Gen Z.”

Research shows over 75% of high schoolers want to focus on skills that will prepare them for in-demand jobs. However, not all teens know what the options are or where to find them. Having your future wide open can be overwhelming, and young people might be afraid of making a wrong choice that will impact their whole lives.

Bryant emphasizes that optimism and enthusiasm from parents can help a lot, in addition to communicating that nothing's carved in stone—kids can change paths if they find themselves on one that isn’t a good fit.

Dr. Bryant and student video meeting Dr. Bryant meeting with a student

“I think the most important thing to communicate to teens is that they have more options than ever to pursue a career,” she says. “A two- or four-year college continues to be an incredibly valuable and popular route, but the pathways to a rewarding career have changed so much in the past decade. Today, career planning conversations include options like taking college credit while still in high school or earning a career credential or certificate before high school graduation. There are other options like the ‘ships’—internships, mentorships, apprenticeships—that can connect teens to college, careers, and employers who may offer on-the-job training or even pay for employees to go to college.”

Parents can also help kids develop “durable skills”—sometimes called “soft” or “human” skills—such as communication, leadership, collaboration, empathy and grit. Bryant says durable skills are incredibly valuable because they are attractive to employers and colleges and transfer across industries and jobs. A worldwide Pearson survey found that those skills are some of the most sought after by employers.

“The good news is that teens are likely to be already developing these skills,” says Bryant. Volunteering, having a part-time job, joining or captaining a team sport can build durable skills in a way that can also be highlighted on college and job applications.

Young people are navigating a fast-changing world, and the qualities, skills and tools they need to succeed may not always be familiar to their parents and grandparents. But Gen Z is showing that when they have a good grasp of the options and opportunities, they’re ready to embark on their career paths, wherever they may lead.

Learn more about Connections Academy here and Connections’ new college and career prep initiative here.

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