Kim Kelley-Wagner adopted her daughters from China many years ago. Like most transracial adoptive families, hers has received its fair share of questions and comments, many of which don't make her girls feel great. Most people aren't intentionally being unkind when they say these things. So Kelley-Wagner and her daughters created this photo series of things people have actually said to them as a reminder that just because something pops into someone's head doesn't mean it should come out of their mouth!
My own family was formed through international adoption. My son is from Vietnam and my daughter is from Ethiopia. I'm pale enough to be mistaken for a vampire and my husband is also white, so people understandably notice how different we look. However, I never could have imagined the things people would say to us until they actually said them.
Adoption is a real and valid way of creating a family, but it's not simple and it always involves loss for the child. I'd love it if people would stop and think before they speak, especially to my kiddos. Questions like "How much did they cost?" and "Did you get to pick them out?" are better asked: "What is the adoption process like?" But really, unless you're truly interested in adopting, they're not necessary. For kids sorting through questions and complicated feelings about adoption, words can hurt.
I'd love it if you'd share these photos to help educate others. You can do that by hitting the Facebook and Twitter buttons below!