Defense attorney shares the one big reason why she won't let her children go to sleepovers
Is she being too harsh?

Erin Bailey has taken a hard stand on sleepovers.
A mother who’s a criminal defense attorney is going viral on TikTok for a hard stance she has taken on her children going to sleepovers. For Erin Bailey of South Carolina, the answer is a big no. The reason? There are too many variables that could make her children vulnerable to sexual assault.
Bailey has a practice in Georgetown and is ranked among the Top 100 Criminal Defense Lawyers in South Carolina by the National Trial Lawyers.
"I don’t allow my children to go to sleepovers. I’m a criminal attorney and here’s why,” she opens the video. “First and primary is the S.A. [sexual assault] risk. While you may feel like you know the parents who are hosting the sleepover really well, and you know and love and trust them, that's exactly who's committing S.A.”
She adds that people who commit sexual assault are often those we trust the most. “S.A. against children is not committed by strangers in Target. It is not committed by random people on the street. It is committed by people we know,” Bailey said.
Four girls having a sleepover.
“You may know the parents, but you don't know necessarily the neighbors, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the older siblings, the friends of the older siblings," she continued.
She concludes with: "There's just too many variables, not to mention pew pews (guns) in the house, so it's just a no for us, no sleepovers."
When it comes to child sexual assault statistics, Bailey knows what she is talking about. Research shows that more than 90% of abusers are people children know, love and trust. Thirty to 40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Fifty percent of child sexual assault victims are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Her post received a lot of support in the comments from parents who share the same fears. "Attorney here too—no sleepovers, electric scooters, trampolines, or hoverboards," Buckeye wrote. "I was upset with my mom at first when she said no to sleepovers until something happened to a girl at a sleepover by the other girl's father," Hanips added.
However, some people thought Bailey was being a bit too cautious.
Four girls having a sleepover.
https://www.pexels.com/photo/girls-lying-on-bed-smiling-8790303/via Krampus Production/Pexels
"So do you just never let them go over to any friend's house? Because every single one of those things can happen without a sleepover," DallasDiscGolf wrote. "I’m glad I was allowed to enjoy my childhood. Sleepovers were a blast!" KevinJones2151 wrote.
"You sound like a blast as a parent. I'm sure you kids will have an amazing childhood," Leah added.
Bailey’s video clearly struck a nerve with the public because it has received over 3 million views on TikTok. But after all the feedback, she hasn’t changed her position.
“Childhood sexual abuse is a trauma that permanently alters the course of a child’s life,” she told Upworthy. “It is more common than most people think and most cases are never reported to the authorities. Further, most people who are abusers were abused themselves as a child. As a prosecutor and defense attorney, I have seen these cases up close and personal. Sleepovers are a small sacrifice to lower the risk for children.”
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.