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A record number of out gay athletes are playing college football this year.

Nervously standing on stage, microphone in hand, Xavier Colvin was about to share some life-changing news with his teammates.

“I don't want to disappoint my teammates or coaches or be looked at as different,” Colvin, a redshirt sophomore on Butler University's football team, later explained to Outsports of what he was thinking in the moment.

But he knew the time had come: He was about to come out as gay.

It took a while to get there, though. Colvin has dealt with bouts of depression and struggled to come to terms with his identity. His father — although loving and supportive — is macho, masculine, two-time Super Bowl champion Rosevelt Colvin. Growing up, the Butler linebacker had no role models in the sports world who were out of the closet.

Standing before his teammates in early August — not entirely sure about the responses he'd have to face — was a major step forward.

In front of his fellow Butler Bulldogs, Colvin opened up about his childhood, personal experiences in sports, and his sexual orientation.

As Outsports reported:

"It had been an amazing transformation for Colvin that had happened so rapidly, going from completely closeted to talking about being gay in front of the entire team. Colvin talked to his entire team about his upbringing, he talked about football, and he talked about being a gay man in the sport that had for so long felt like it didn't want him there."

The response from his teammates made all the nerves worth it though.

"Afterwards I got texts and phone calls,” Colvin said. “The freshmen who didn't know me came and shook my hand. And they all said, 'we’ve got your back.' They told me how proud they were of me. Not even a single negative reaction. It was all positive.”

For The Culture 🤘🏾

A post shared by Xavier Colvin (@sircolvin43) on

Colvin's coming out experience isn't just noteworthy at a personal level; it's reflective of an evolving college football landscape, with more welcoming coaches and players accepting LGBTQ athletes on and off the field.

There will be a record number of out LGBTQ players during the 2017-2018 college football season.

Kansas State's Scott Franz, Arizona's My-King Johnson, Marian's Darrion McAlister, Capital's Wyatt Pertuset, and Kyle Kurdziolek of the University of St. Francis join Colvin as out and proud LGBTQ players making this season one for the books, Outsports reported.

Every single one of them has had positive experiences coming out on their respective teams.

"I've never felt so loved and so accepted ever in my life than when I [came out]," Frantz told ESPN in July. "And ever since then it's been great. I've grown so much closer to my teammates since."

Homophobia and transphobia in sports are still very real, but progress is being made.

An international 2015 study found that, overall, 8 in 10 lesbian, gay, and bisexual athletes reported witnessing or experiencing some form of homophobia in sports. Among the six western countries in the study, the U.S. ranked worst. That's why the work being done by organizations making athletics more inclusive, like Athlete Ally, remain vital.

Still, the trend lines toward acceptance are certainly pointing in the right direction. And for players like Colvin, it's making a world of difference.

"I got so caught up trying to please others that I fell into a path of always trying to help others and not myself," Colvin explained. "Finally I became courageous enough to be myself.”

Learn more about these six LGBTQ college football players in the video by Outsports below:

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Man asks how to help his wife who works full-time with a baby at home and keeps getting the same answer

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash

There are times in parenting where you just feel kind of useless.

You can't carry the baby, take a late-night breastfeeding shift, or absorb any of the pain and discomfort of childbirth.

Sometimes the best you can do is to try to take care of your partner.

That's what brought user u/DietyBeta to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question.

"My wife watches our 1yo, works, and is 12 week pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I'm away at work?"

He says that when he gets home from work, he takes over all parenting and homemaking duties.

But yeesh! That's still... a lot to handle. No wonder his wife is stressed out.

A few folks chimed in to pat the OP on the back. After all, it's great to see a dad who realizes how much is falling on mom's shoulders and actively looking for ways to lighten the load!

Some helpful suggestions rolled in, like taking over meal prep and making her easy lunches to heat up, hiring cleaners, or paying someone to walk the dogs.

woman in black shirt lying on couch Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash


But then even more people came in to the comments asking the same question over and over: If mom is working, why isn't the 1-year-old in daycare?

u/young-mommy wrote: "Is the one year old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a child gets harder and harder as they enter toddlerhood"

u/min2themax said: "It’s nice of you to be asking how to help her but she really is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop here. It sounds like she is literally always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. Walking the dogs and making her lunches and prepping meals and doing laundry is all well and good but this is not at all sustainable."

u/alternative-box3260 said: "Have the one year old in daycare. I was in a similar situation and it’s impossible. I was able to breath after that, not before."

And u/sillychihuahua26 wrote: "She’s caring for your 1.year old while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday."

We have a legitimate childcare crisis in our country, and stories like this one really bring it to life.

Childcare in the United States isn't nearly accessible or affordable enough for most families. Period.

ChildCare Aware found that that average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year, or roughly 10% of a median family income (in 2024, it's likely even more than that — yet the actual workers at childcare centers are somehow severely underpaid).

But even that eye-popping number is conservative. Anyone who lives anywhere close to a city (or in California or New York) knows the number will be way higher. It's just not feasible for most families to put their child, let alone multiple children, in full-time care while they're young.

And yet! The percentage of households with two parents working full-time has been rising for decades. Life is more expensive than ever, and the extra income from two working parents really helps, even if it's offset by those child care costs.

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

woman in white shirt sitting on brown wooden armchair Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Now we don't know whether the OP's family can afford childcare for their 1-year-old or not, although in a later update to the post he wrote:

"As far as daycare, she doesn't want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time"

So even if you can afford childcare, there's the still the crushing guilt of shipping your child off to be raised by strangers to deal with! Classic.

(Take one guess who shoulders most of the daycare guilt — dads or moms?)

The work-from-home revolution has been a Godsend for parents in certain ways — flexibility, balance, less commuting time — but its also saddled many of them with double duty.

'Hey how about you work full-time because we need the money AND keep an eye on the kids, since you're home anyway!'

But it doesn't work like that, and trying to do both is crushing modern parents.

In fact, the Surgeon General of the United States just put out an official advisory based on the plummeting mental state of today's parents.

We know parents are having a hard time and that it's getting picked up in the national conversation. But hearing about a mom working full-time with a 1-year-old on her hip while pregnant, and a dad stuck working out of the house who's at a total loss for how to make things better really paints a pretty bleak picture.

No one should have to work full-time and parent full-time, at the same time.

A fridge full of microwavable lunches and a fleet of dog walkers isn't going to make it any better until things start changing from the very top.

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Friendship

American coworkers surprise grieving Māori man with haka after he missed family funeral

He was stuck in America for his grandmother's funeral so his friends brought New Zealand to the states.

Representative photo Gary Stockbridge|Get Archive

American friends learn haka for grieving Māori man

It's not easy living away from family, especially when you live in a completely different country. The distance can become increasingly more difficult to adjust to when tragedy strikes your family back home. It can be cost prohibitive to fly back home and depending on your employer's attendance policy, it may be nearly impossible.

Jarom Ngakuru recently faced this very situation. The New Zealander of Māori descent is living in the United States while his family still resides in his home country. Unfortunately, when Ngakuru's grandmother died, he was unable to make the trip back to the island to give his proper goodbye.

Not being able to attend his grandmother's funeral left him sad and broken. He wanted nothing more than to be there with his family. Ngakuru's friends knew how important it was for him to send his grandmother off properly so the group of American colleagues worked in secret to learn the haka.

Haka is a traditional dance performed by Māori people for important events like weddings, funerals, and significant life events as a sign of respect. The dance has been known to bring viewers to tears, and this haka is doing the same. Not just because of the haka itself, but because of everything that went into a group of American men learning a dance from another culture to honor their friend and his grandmother.

Ngakuru uploaded the video to his TikTok page with the caption, "Hardest part about living in America is that we live so far away. I couldn't make it home for my nan's funeral and I was BROKEN! So my boys at work learned the haka without me knowing and brought home to me."

See why commenters could not stop crying below:

@jaromngakuru

Hardest part about living in america 🇺🇸 is that we live so far away. I couldnt make it home for my nans funeral and i was BROKEN! so my boys at work learned the haka without me knowing and brought home to me 🇳🇿🏠 #haka #grateful #maori #newzealand #brothers #fyp #foryou

"I don't think they even understand how beautiful of an act this is," one person writes.

"There is so much depth of emotion attached to the Haka I uncontrollably cry every time. This was beautiful," another says.

"Well I'm sobbing like a baby in my office now," a commenter reveals.

"You can feel the mana [spiritual power] and the aroha [love]they have for you they know your mamae [hurt], what a beautiful tribute to you and our culture. Arohanui [deep affection] for your loss," someone else writes.

Ngakuru explains in the comments that it's his brother-in-law, who is Tongan, leading the chant. He is also the one that taught their friends the haka in a single day. What an impressive show of love for their grieving friend. There's no doubt that Ngakuru will remember this for the rest of his life.


This article originally appeared on 5.29.24

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Joy

Man attempts to rescue stray kitten and quickly discovers he got more than he bargained for

Here kitty, kitty! Oh wait, there are 12 more of you?

Photo by Dorothea OLDANI on Unsplash

It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared on 6.16.22

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Joy

Golden Retriever with peak good boy energy can't stop snuggling with strangers on a train

Can't stop, won't stop.

Photo by Andrew Spencer on Unsplash

Golden Retrievers are the ultimate good doggos.

If there's any dog breed that encapsulates "good doggo" energy, it's the Golden Retriever. Friendly, gentle, good-natured and oh-so-affectionate, Goldens have come by their reputation honestly. Even "I'm not a dog person" people tend to find themselves taken by Golden Retrievers, and a post on TikTok demonstrates why.

The video shared by @hugoandursula is captioned "my dog getting cuddles from strangers on the train," and that's exactly what it shows in the most adorable montage ever.

In clip after clip, the sweet pup snuggles into unsuspecting train passengers, winning hearts and evoking "awwwws" left and right. (If you're on the fence about getting a dog, be careful watching this video because it will catapult you right over the edge.)

@hugoandursula

Melts my heart 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #goldenretriever

The video has been shared multiple times since it was first posted in January of 2023, and every time, people can't get enough of it. In March of 2024, it was posted in the r/mademesmile subreddit, and people poured all the Golden Retriever love into the comments.

"Golden's love attention.. our Daisy would politely walk around the benches at softball and stop for anyone who expressed an interest in petting her. She was never rude, just wanted to meet new people and show some love while getting some." – michaeldpj

"They are the most 'hi i’m in the room look at me i'm here' dogs i’ve ever met." – botjstn

"I would ride in trains much more often if I was guaranteed to see an adorably squashed doggy nose in front of me. It's delightful." – Designer-Command1417

"The look on the woman's face when the dog snuggles up her is worth a billion dollars!" – Ok-Sale-8105

Reddit users were also thrilled when a "Schnoodle" appeared in the comments. A Schnoodle on social media is a cheesily heartwarming poem from u/schnoodledoodledo, written from the point-of-view of an animal, and the Schnoodle for our Golden train-riding friend here is perfectly fitting.

Look at me - the Traveler! i get to come along

being with my human is the place that i belong ;@)

am friendly with the passengers, n try n spread the JoY!

(they’re frens i haven’t met yet,

n they tell me i’m Good Boy)

so i will find an empty seat, n sit with them awhile

i get aLot of scritches, n i leave them with a smile

am tired from the journey, but i know i did my part

to leave a golden memory

inside their human heart

"FRESHEST SCHNOODLE!!" wrote one commenter, followed by "OMG a schnoodle!! I haven’t seen one in over a year. I thought they had disappeared! This has made my day!" and "Starting the day with a fresh schnoodle for brunch is highly recommended!!!"

For an extended version of one of these good doggo love fests, check out another video from @hugoandursula:

@hugoandursula

Hux making more friends..🥺💕

Again, so much love in the comments.

"Are you telling me a stranger got on the train and received all this love for free?!?!" – kirstygu

"I don’t care where that train is going I’m buying a ticket 🥺" – Angharad

"Did he cry before parting ways? I would be bawling" – Melanin. Queen

"I've never been more jealous of a person before in my life." – Carrie Thompson

One thing's for certain—if the train system wants to encourage more riders, all they need to do is get a Golden Retriever to welcome their passengers. They'd fill up those seats in no time.


This article originally appeared on 3.5.24

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5 things that people view as signs of 'stupidity' that are actually signs of intelligence

It's time to stop thinking of these as weaknesses.

Photo credit: Canva

5 things people think show stupidity but are actually intelligence

There are some people that are just inherently intelligent while others have to work at it. As we age we run into more people that have varying degrees of intelligence whether it be from post graduate degrees or just life experiences. But there are sometimes instances where we may find ourselves questioning if someone is as smart as they are letting on.

It can be due to something they said, did or just from observing their general behaviors. Is this always a fair assessment though or are we making snap judgements based on what we personally perceive as markers of a person's intelligence? Well, it seems this is a question that has been on the minds of a few individuals.

People have been asking what are signs of intelligence that are often mistaken for stupidity. The answers just might surprise you.

Knowing what people view as signs of intelligence may also serve as a means to satisfy people's curiosity on whether they appear to be smart to other people. This could be a reason this question is so popular when someone dares to release the thought into the metaphorical void of the internet. Between two posts, one shared on Reddit and the other on X, here are the top 5 things people mistake for ignorance but are actually signs of intelligence.

Confused Dogs GIF by MOODMANGiphy

1. Asking questions

Sometimes people mistake asking a lot of questions as a sign of unintelligence when the opposite may be true. People who are smart know when they aren't well informed on a topic so they don't shy away from asking questions to gain clarity or to learn about resources to obtain more information on the topic.

"Asking questions. people love to act like it makes you look dumb, but honestly, the smartest ppl are the ones who aren’t afraid to admit they don’t know everything. Like, if you’re always questioning stuff, you’re actually trying to learn, while everyone else is just faking it lol," someone shares.


Amy Poehler Question GIF by NBCGiphy

2. Being quiet

It seems that the consensus is that everything doesn't require one's opinion, especially if they aren't well versed in the area being discussed. Quietly listening instead of interjecting can also show confidence in your knowledge of the topic at hand. If it's being adequately covered by others in the conversation, your voice may not be needed–knowing the difference seems to be key in someone deemed as intelligent.

Being quiet also gives you the opportunity to learn about others, another user points out, "That phrase as well as 'You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that ratio.' Ring through my head regularly. These days, far more about others than to myself."

3. Mispronouncing a word

This may be surprising to some people but mispronouncing words can be seen as a sign of intelligence. The logic behind this is that you must be hitting the books more than engaging in mindless scrolling or consuming some other form of visual media outside of books.

"Mispronouncing a word. Just means that you have read the word somewhere and have not heard it," someone points out in a reply on X.

Elon Musk Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

4. Having an accent

There's oftentimes a misconception that people who don't speak the dominant language well or speak it with an accent are not as intelligent. This can be immigrants who have moved to the country or people simply visiting on vacation. In some situations immigrants hold advanced degrees or owned businesses in their home countries before relocating, which alone is impressive but one person adds this reminder.

"Having an accent seems to make people think you’re stupid. Reality is this person speaks more than one language, they’re not dumb."

5. Changing your mind

Some people see changing your mind as a sign of being uncertain or fickle but in actuality, it can be a sign of intelligence. When someone learns new information that conflicts with previous information and adjusts accordingly, this is seen as a positive attribute. For others, the changing of one's mind may be seen as something someone unintelligent would do.

Someone chimes in saying, "the uneducated call it flip-flopping, while some of us are willing to change our views in light of new evidence." While another clarified that they view "flip-flopping" differently, "I would only call it flip-flopping if they publicly change back and forth multiple times. I think this is often because they're trying to appeal to whomever they're speaking to rather than showing their true opinions."

Changed My Mind Hbo GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphy

Intelligence can be measured by many different standards and there's no true way for someone to immediately pick up on someone else's level of intelligence in all areas. Some people are well versed in certain topics while being clueless in another. Intelligence runs the gambit because no two people are exactly alike and no singular person can know everything with the depth of expert level research.

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