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Family

A man’s family criticized his girlfriend's weight, and he handled it with grace

"I never thought of my girlfriend as overweight."

weight shaming, family fights, grace

A couple posing near a tree.

A 29-year-old man is dealing with serious tensions within his family after they confronted him about his girlfriend’s weight and how she chooses to dress. To find out if he was in the wrong for how he handled the situation, he took to Reddit to get some clarity.

The situation started at a recent family gathering.

“While attending my (26 M) brother’s girlfriend’s birthday party at their house, my mother and my brother brought me to the kitchen and confronted me, and told me that my girlfriend needs to dress more modestly and that they have a problem with her not wearing a bra,” the man recalled.

The discussion came out of the blue for the man who had no idea his girlfriend’s style or weight was an issue for anyone. It certainly wasn't one for him. His girlfriend had previously told him that she doesn’t like wearing a bra because it makes her chest feel “tight” and “uncomfortable.”


“I’m not sure if it’s because she’s my long-time girlfriend, but even though she weighs around 160 pounds, her not wearing a bra has never stuck out to me before, and I hadn’t even really noticed until they had pointed it out to me,” he admitted.

couples, reddit, family fights

A couple posing by a woodpile.

via Rafaah Machado/Pexels

His family members then began to talk about his girlfriend in a sexualized way.

His mother said her breasts were “too big” for her not to wear a bra, and her boyfriend added that when she’s in the room, it’s the “only thing you can look at.” His brother then confessed that he had had multiple fights with his girlfriend over the woman’s body and choice of attire. “She’s afraid my brother's eyes will wander, and she secretly is afraid he likes overweight girls,” he said.

After the confrontation, the man and his girlfriend left the party.

After the family realized they left, his brother called him, and he said that his girlfriend’s “body shape or the way she dresses is anyone’s business and that if people wanted to be creepy and stare at her, that wasn’t her fault.”

His mother then got on the phone and, once again, said the girlfriend needs to show “respect” for herself and the family by wearing a bra. “I then told them how important I think it is for my girlfriend to be comfortable in the clothes she’s wearing, and if she can’t be comfortable around my family, then we don’t need to see them anymore,” he said.

Sadly, the phone call devolved into a loud argument between all 3 parties. The man asked for a “second opinion” from folks on Reddit whether he in fact was being “too brash.” The commenters overwhelmingly supported him and said he handled the situation gracefully.

"Leaving the situation was the best thing to do. I'd like to think I would have this grace too but your family is REALLY weird," the most popular commenter, ARandomWalkInSpace, wrote.

"The way you talk about your girlfriend tells us a lot about the kind of person and partner you are, and your perspective and actions in this situation are admirable. Your family is trying to pin the blame for their own problems on your girlfriend," Amandahip wrote. "As someone with a relatively large chest, it’s almost easier to dress “modestly” while bra-less or wearing low-support garments. Your family is creating a battle that your girlfriend can’t win, and the two of you leaving the situation was a graceful response."

Another noted that the family blamed the girlfriend for everyone else's inappropriate reactions to her.

"You hit all the marks,” houskeepinghoney wrote. “Those women are afraid their men can't control their eyes, which they should absolutely be able to. "So tired of people blaming women for men's actions.”

In the end, the entire experience was an excellent way for the man and his girlfriend to break out of negative family cycles.

“My girlfriend is okay. We both come from families that thrive on drama,” he wrote. “This was just a breaking point for me personally. Thank you all for your support, kind words, and confirming what I already knew.”

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From political science to joining the fight against cancer: How one woman found her passion

An unexpected pivot to project management expanded Krystal Brady's idea of what it means to make a positive impact.

Krystal Brady/PMI

Krystal Brady utilizes her project management skills to help advance cancer research and advocacy.

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Cancer impacts nearly everyone’s life in one way or another, and thankfully, we’re learning more about treatment and prevention every day. Individuals and organizations dedicated to fighting cancer and promising research from scientists are often front and center, but we don’t always see the people working behind the scenes to make the fight possible.

People like Krystal Brady.

While studying political science in college, Brady envisioned her future self in public office. She never dreamed she’d build a successful career in the world of oncology, helping cancer researchers, doctors and advocates continue battling cancer, but more efficiently.

Brady’s journey to oncology began with a seasonal job at a small publishing company, which helped pay for college and awakened her love for managing projects. Now, 15 years later, she’s serving as director of digital experience and strategy at the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO), which she describes as “the perfect place to pair my love of project management and desire to make positive change in the world.”

As a project manager, Brady helps make big ideas for the improvement of diagnosing and treating cancer a reality. She is responsible for driving the critical projects that impact the lives of cancer researchers, doctors, and patients.

“I tell people that my job is part toolbox, part glue,” says Brady. “Being a project manager means being responsible for understanding the details of a project, knowing what tools or resources you need to execute the project, and facilitating the flow of that work to the best outcome possible. That means promoting communication, partnership, and ownership among the team for the project.”

At its heart, Brady’s project management work is about helping people. One of the big projects Brady is currently working on is ASCO’s digital transformation, which includes upgrading systems and applications to help streamline and personalize oncologists’ online experience so they can access the right resources more quickly. Whether you are managing humans or machines, there’s an extraordinary need for workers with the skillset to harness new technology and solve problems.

The digital transformation project also includes preparing for the use of emerging technologies such as generative AI to help them in their research and practices.

“Most importantly, it lays the groundwork for us to make a meaningful impact at the point of care, giving the oncologist and patient the absolute latest recommendations or guidelines for care for that specific patient or case, allowing the doctor to spend more time with their patients and less time on paperwork,” Brady says.

In today’s fast-changing, quickly advancing world, project management is perhaps more valuable than ever. After discovering her love for it, Brady earned her Project Management Professional (PMP)® certification through Project Management Institute (PMI)—the premier professional organization for project managers with chapters all over the world—which she says gave her an edge over other candidates when she applied for her job at ASCO.

“The knowledge I gained in preparing for the PMP exam serves me every day in my role,” Brady says. “What I did not expect and have truly come to value is the PMI network as well – finding like-minded individuals, opportunities for continuous learning, and the ability to volunteer and give back.”

PMI’s growing community – including more than 300 chapters globally – serves as a place for project managers and individuals who use project management skills to learn and grow through events, online resources, and certification programs.

While people often think of project management in the context of corporate careers, all industries and organizations need project managers, making it a great career for those who want to elevate our world through non-profits or other service-oriented fields.

“Project management makes a difference by focusing on efficiency and outcomes, making us all a little better at what we do,” says Brady. “In almost every industry, understanding how to do our work more effectively and efficiently means more value to our customers, and the world at large, at an increased pace.”

Project management is also a stable career path in high demand as shown by PMI research, which found that the global economy will need 25 million more project managers by 2030 and that the median salary for project managers in the US has grown to $120K.

If you’d like to learn more about careers in project management, PMI has resources to help you get started or prove your proficiency, including its entry-level Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) certification program. For those interested in pursuing a project management career to make a difference, it could be your first step.
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