As one of the “inalienable rights” listed in the United States Declaration of Independence, the pursuit of happiness holds a high place in our psyches. In fact, it’s so ingrained in us that we rarely question it. Doesn’t everyone want to be happy? Of course we do. For many, happiness is the ultimate life goal.
But what if we’re pursuing the wrong thing? Actor Tom Hiddleston eloquently shared his philosophy on happiness in an episode of SubwayTakes, and the Loki star’s explanation closely aligns with what experts on the topic say.
‘Happiness is overrated. Meaning is underrated.’
SubwayTakes asks people to share their five most controversial hot takes, and one of Hiddleston’s was “Happiness is overrated. Meaning is underrated.”
“So, happiness is like a sunrise or a sunset. Bear with me…” Hiddleston said. “You’re there. It’s lovely. You’re present with it. The sun’s rising or the sun’s setting, it’s perfect. After 15 minutes, the moment is over, and it’s gone. Trying to sustain it is impossible because it’s over. And a life spent chasing the permanence of that feeling, I think, will make you unhappy because you can’t hold onto it. The moment you try to hold onto it, it slips through your fingers and is lost.”
Hiddleston shared that meaning, on the other hand, is a whole different story.
“Meaning is a structure that only you create in your own life,” he said, “an architecture with your own particular spiritual fingerprint, whereby if you’re going through a hard time, if you’re going through challenge, struggle, obstacles, suffering, or pain, only you know why you’re going through it.”
Doing something hard for the sake of your kids, or your mom, or your future is “bearable because you know what it means,” he shared. “And meaning—this is the take—meaning yields joy. Joy is deeper than happiness.”
A happiness expert’s take
Dr. Arthur C. Brooks is one of the foremost experts on this topic, having made happiness the focus of much of his research and multiple books. According to Brooks, meaning doesn’t replace happiness; it is one of its three pillars—and the one most often neglected.
“Happiness rests on three pillars: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning,” Brooks shared in a LinkedIn post. “Today, meaning is collapsing, especially for the young, because we’ve neglected the part of the brain that asks ‘why.’”
Brooks explains that modern life is so focused on the “how” and “what” questions that many people rarely even access the part of their brain that asks “Why?”
“This is a crisis,” he says. Brooks explains that we need to ask the big, complex “why” questions like, “Why am I alive?” and “Why would I be willing to give my life?” in order to delve into the pillar of meaning that leads to happiness.
How to explore meaning that leads to happiness
Here are the elements of meaning, according to Brooks, and the questions that help us find it:
Coherence: Why do things happen the way they do? (Exploring this question helps life make sense, rather than chalking events up to randomness or chaos.)
Purpose: What are my goals, and why am I moving in this direction? (This question helps give us a trajectory, so we’re moving toward something rather than flailing about aimlessly.)
Significance: Why does it matter? (This question helps us understand how our life makes a positive difference to others and the world.)
Of course, that’s simply an ingredients list for meaning, not the entire recipe. Brooks has lots of tips for finding meaning, including one that’s often overlooked: experiencing beauty.
Seeing something so beautiful that it makes you want to cry, and you can’t find the words to describe it, is one way to tap into the “why” part of the brain. That might be a beautiful piece of music or a gorgeous vista. Or it might be moral beauty: someone who touches your soul with their acts of compassion or kindness.
You can find more from Dr. Brooks on the science of happiness on his website, and see more of Tom Hiddleston’s thoughtful takes in the full SubwayTakes episode here:
