Dolly Parton was a master musician, accomplished cook, and, perhaps most importantly, an excellent communicator. Parton could masterfully handle any insult, joke, or mean-spirited words that came her way.
Communication expert Dorie Clark broke down one of Dolly Parton’s most infamous interviews with Barbara Walters from 1978. In it, Walters (knowingly or unknowingly) talked down to Parton about her appearance and upbringing.
But in true Dolly style, she defused anger and outrage with a strategy Clark calls a “label upgrade.” It’s a trick that worked well for Parton, and one Clark is sure can work for anyone during conversations that may turn offensive without warning.
The Dolly Parton and Barbara Walters interview
In the clip shared on her Instagram, Clark highlights moments from the 1978 ABC News interview between Walters and Parton.
Walters first questions Parton about her looks, stating, “Dolly, you don’t have to look like this. You’re very beautiful. You don’t have to wear the blonde wigs. You don’t have to wear the extreme clothes, right?”
Parton responded, “No, it’s certainly a choice. I don’t like to be like everybody else. I’ve often made the statement that I would never stoop so low as to be ‘fashionable’. That’s the easiest thing in the world to do.”
In another clip, Walters comments on Dolly’s family.
“Dolly, where I come from, would I have called you a ‘hillbilly’?”
Parton replied, “If you had, it would have been something very natural, but I would have probably kicked your shins or something!”
Walters doubled down, saying, “But when I think of hillbillies, am I thinking of your kind of people?”
Parton concedes, “I think you probably are.”
But Parton goes on to defend her family. “But we were very proud people. People with a lot of class. It was country class, but it was a great deal of class. And most of my people were not that educated, but they are very, very intelligent. Good common sense. ‘Horse sense,’ we called it.”
Communication expert breaks it down
Clark says Parton’s exchange with Walters is “one of the best I’ve ever seen.”
“Notice what Dolly’s not doing: she’s not denying she’s a hillbilly. A lot of people probably think she is, and she’s not getting mad at what could be read as an insult,” says Clark. “Instead, Dolly keeps the word, but rewrites completely what it means.”
Clark refers to this as the “label upgrade” strategy.
“To Barbara, ‘hillbilly’ means ‘backwards’. But 30 seconds later, it means proud people, country class, and being street smart,” explains Clark. “And Dolly does the same thing with appearance. ‘I’d never stoop so low as to be fashionable’—Dolly takes a negative frame that someone else is putting on her, and turns it into a positive.”
She adds that the next time someone talks down to you, do what Dolly did.
“Don’t argue with them. Whatever you are and wherever you come from, you can use Dolly’s ‘label upgrade’ strategy to maintain your dignity and disarm them completely,” says Clark.
How to use the ‘label upgrade’ strategy
Clark shared with CNBC that the ‘label upgrade’ strategy has two parts:
“First, you accept what they’ve said as accurate (assuming that it is—otherwise, you can dispute their premise),” she wrote. “Then, you redefine what it means.”
She offered four different examples of what that might look like in real-life:
- “You’re right, I am new here. That’s what allows me to see things that no one else notices anymore and find the opportunities you might be overlooking.”
- “It’s true I don’t have an MBA. That means I’ve had to learn through experience and working directly with our customers. That’s why I feel so confident about the features they’ll want.”
- “You’re right, I don’t know anything about engineering. But neither do most of our customers. So if you can’t explain it to me, they’ll have a hard time understanding it, too.”
- “It’s true I’ve never worked in a large corporation before. That means I’ve had to learn not just how to do my job, but how to get results, even if that means pitching in to help another department. That’s why I feel so strongly we can’t just blame the sales department.”
These examples show class, dignity, and grace in otherwise sticky conversations. The next time a conversation or exchange feels a little rude or off, do what Dolly did to defuse it and keep the words flowing in a more positive, respectful direction for everyone.
