Parenting isn’t an easy task. You’re prepared for the ups and downs, but nothing can prepare you for parenting through grief. That is not a chapter that you’ll find in the latest version of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Grief can be all-consuming, but so can parenting, and there’s no portrayal of how to navigate both.
Nicole, a mom who shares daily life content on social media, recently gave viewers a glimpse into her journey navigating the two. The mom took to Instagram, attempting to put on a happy face for her toddler who can be heard in the background asking for apple juice. She’s trying to get her makeup done so they can head to a play, but her tears are getting in the way.
Grief and motherhood
In the caption, she writes, “Because both grief & motherhood can be hard & ugly.” Nicole reveals a little later in the video, “My mom…my mom’s mom died while my mom was in postpartum with me. My mom died.” The realization of saying her mom died brings the emotion right back to the surface, causing her to pause. “My mom died,” she says, taking a beat to collect herself, “when I was in postpartum with Atticus.”
Just as she’s finishing her sentence, her toddler can be heard informing her they see a boat. Nicole doesn’t miss a beat. She keeps her response light while actively engaging with what her child is saying. She asks questions, encouraging further description of the boat. She actively listens to their responses while she clears tears with a cotton swab. Viewers can hear Nicole’s stuffy nose and see the red splotches on her face as she fights through active grief to be a present parent.
Grieving a parent is hard
Photo Credit: Canva
Nicole admits that she’s likely going to get a drink later while pulling at the collar of her shirt and holding back tears. “Oh my god, I feel like I’m going to vomit,” she shares while breathing heavily. But just when it looks as if she’s about to break out in hysterics, her child says something else, snapping her right out of the emotional moment. She ends the video with a thumbs up to convey she’s okay.
Viewers appreciated her ability to balance motherhood and grief. Others related to her struggle, with one person writing, “I lost my mother three years ago and lost my husband 8 months later. We have six children. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. You can do this. I know it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”
Photo Credit: Canva
Overwhelming support
Another person says, “Grieving while having to be a functioning mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’m sorry you’re going through it right now.”
“The way she’s balancing her pain while still being a fully present mother is something a lot of ppl can’t do, but this shows you that you can,” someone shares.
“The wiping the tears before they notice is SO REAL. We need an Oscar,” this mom says.
Someone else encourages the grieving mom with, “Just wanted to say you’re doing amazing. Im a hugger and I know not everyone is but im sending you a big hug thru the interwebs.”
Another grieving daughter writes, “Same. It’s so hard to mom without having your own mom. My mom passed a year ago on Sunday.”
