Often when you hear kids on a playground describing their dads, you catch declarations like ,”Well my dad is the strongest man on earth. Well my dad is the smartest.” If you’re lucky enough to have Dolph Lundgren as a father, both statements are pretty close to the truth. And what bragging rights!
But let’s back up. If you’ve seen Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky IV, you’d know Lundgren as Rocky’s spiky-haired nemesis, Ivan Drago. His character wanted the win just as much as our Philadelphia-born underdog. But the movie wasn’t called “Ivan,” so he was deemed the villain. (Though to be fair, the character was pretty ruthless.)
Over the years, Lundgren would become iconic for these types of roles, appearing in nearly 100 films to date. But before he became a certified movie star, he was a trained martial artist, specifically a black belt in Kyokushin karate. Even before that, he had multiple degrees in chemical engineering.
After just a few moments into his chat with Upworthy, it’s clear that Lundgren has a thoughtful vulnerability when it comes to discussing how he got where he is today, his career and his children. What’s even more refreshing is his willingness to express kindness toward his younger self.
Upworthy: Who are you rooting for in the World Cup? We must know.
Lundgren: (Laughs) “I mean, Sweden, of course. I grew up in Sweden. My wife is from Norway, so I have to root for them a little bit. I like Argentina, too, somehow. I mean, I just like them as a team. Of course, then I have the USA because —I’m American now. So, I don’t really root for anybody. Once it gets a little closer to quarterfinals, then by maybe I will see which team I like.”
Upworthy: That’s a very diplomatic answer!
Lundgren: “Thank you!”
Upworthy : With your acting career spanning so many decades, were there any roles that you played that were the most like you? Was there a part that you had where you felt like, “I’m playing myself”?
Lundgren: “I think it’s a moving target because I’ve changed over the years and so have some of the parts I’ve played. Like when I first was ‘discovered’ was in a Rocky movie. I played a Soviet fighter (Ivan Drago), and obviously I’d been a fighter a few years before. I was the European kickboxing champion. I was a very innocent and kind of a tough guy who was very lost in the in the big world of Hollywood.
And that character I played was very much like that. He was kind of used by the Soviet system. He was a tough guy, but he he felt that he was a bit lost as well. So, you know, just as an example, I played that character. And then many years later, I played that character again. And now, he’s a father. I had a hard relationship with my father. And now, I was able to sort of play my dad being very hard on his son. So, it was very personal to me, that part in Creed II.”
Upworthy: Yes, I’d imagine!
Lundgren: “Then I was able, in the movie, to actually have a sort of a happy ending, let’s say, to the relationship. Whereas in real life, I never got that opportunity with him. That was very personal as well. So, they were both very much like me.
Obviously I’ve played characters that weren’t as mirrored to me, psychologically. You know, you end up doing it as a job, and you try to put whatever you can behind it. But I think there’s always a part of me in each character, I hope, that I play.”
Upworthy: Was there a part, especially when you were rising up, that you wish you’d gotten?
Lundgren: Yeah! I had been actually living in New York. Oh, I met this girl, Grace Jones, the singer. I was living with her. And then I went to California, did that role in the Rocky movie, and then we broke up, Grace and I. But I was back in New York studying acting, I believe. And I was called up for a role in Dangerous Liaisons.“
Upworthy: Oh, wow!
Lundgren: “Dangerous Liaisons, yes. There were two roles. The other was directed by the guy who did Amadeus. His name is on the tip of my tongue. Tom Hulce was in my acting class. And he was the poorest of all the students, after me, I guess. (Laughs) And he was nominated for the Academy Award for that. I went to those Oscars with Grace, actually, in ’85—’86 and we were both there looking at each other like, ‘What the hell happened?’, you know? Because I’d been in Rocky IV, and he was in Amadeus. Anyway, that director…”
Upworthy: Miloš Forman!
Lundgren: “Yes, Miloš Forman. Yeah, I met with him, and I read a little bit for one of those characters. I think the younger lover of Glenn Close’s character. I didn’t get it, but that would have been nice.” (Laughs)
Upworthy: Because you mentioned Grace Jones, I’m just going to ask this about her. Was there ever a moment where you just went to the grocery store and went unnoticed? Because the two of you were so striking and you probably never could just go out and just be incognito, right?
Lundgren: (Laughs) “No. I don’t think so. I couldn’t, especially not with her, of course. But I mean, even if I went by myself in those days.”
Upworthy: Of course.
Lundgren: “I stood out. I was always, back in those days, usually either wearing, shorts and a T-shirt or leather pants and sunglasses.”
Upworthy: Yes! I was going to bring up the leather pants, and then I stopped myself. I’m so glad you said it, because of course! It’s iconic.
Shifting gears a bit. As you’ve gotten into your 60s, are there lessons that you’ve learned about keeping your body and your mind healthy? Anything that you would advise others?
Lundgren: “Well I’ve learned a lot. Obviously, I was very physically active from my young teens. I was a professional athlete. Not just as a fighter, but then later as an action star, which means I was doing it for a living. But I didn’t really have an inner peace. I was overdoing a lot of things. Overdoing the training, overdoing partying, you know, stunts, dabbling in steroids. I was just kind of trying to squeeze everything out of my body.
And I was thinking that there was a proportional relationship. But it isn’t, because it’s almost like a bell curve. Like at some point, you get diminishing returns. And it comes up and bites you later in life. I started pulling back a little, maybe a little too late, but I do think now I really take care of myself. I’m kinder to myself. I don’t push myself like I used to. I try to make it a pleasant experience.
I would say that I have much more of a kinder approach to myself than I used to when I was younger. Look, we all end up there. But I do know people that I’ve grown up with, or have followed throughout the years, trained with, who are still kind of punishing themselves a little too much.”
Upworthy: When you were openly talking about fighting cancer, you talked about ‘living in the moment’. Do you still feel like you’re doing that?
Lundgren: “I feel like I’ve found a spiritual path somewhere in life. I think in my 40s it started. It was actually after I got divorced and I was in a new relationship, and I was about to mess that one up, too. And that’s when I started meditating and doing therapy. I needed therapy because my dad had been kind of harsh with me, my mom, and I had all that trauma. I had to work that out. And then I think I was already on that spiritual path where (I asked) ‘how can I feel satisfied in the moment, with this moment?’
Then the cancer diagnosis made everything more extreme because then you’re dealing with your own mortality. I was very weak at times and couldn’t work out. I really had to start from scratch when it was over and build myself up like I had done when I was a 12 or 13-year-old kid. I think I learned a lot from that about what really means something, which is to love yourself. And be happy with yourself, and the people around you, the people that love you. And your family and the relationships that mean something in our lives. That’s kind of what it’s all about, you know?”
Upworthy: Speaking of family, you mentioned your dad. Was there something that you promised yourself that you would do differently as a dad than how you were raised?
Lundgren: “Of course, yeah. I have those thoughts forever, since I was a young boy. That I did not want to do what my dad had done. And I think acting is like going to therapy a little bit. You learn about yourself. You learn you have to actually access old emotions and old feelings, and you kind of learn to navigate that. They say the shadow, like Jung calls it, right? It’s the shadow. You learn about your own shadow.
That was part of not wanting to be aggressive with my kids, and not push them too much or be mean to my wife or any woman I was with. I love my mom. She was fantastic. So, I had a really good relationship with women all along.
I was afraid of being harsh on my kids, but then I was lucky enough to have two daughters. And that kind of takes the edge off it because had it been a young boy who was talking back to me and stuff, then I don’t know how it would have gone. I would have probably done pretty well. But I think it was meant to be that I had two daughters. I think that it was just perfect because then I can just be loving and caring for them and give them what I didn’t get when I was young.”
Upworthy: I’m sure you’re putting a lot of this in your memoir. What inspired you to write a book?
Lundgren: “Well, things happen for a reason, right? And I had had the cancer diagnosis. I had it in 2015, and they operated. I got rid of some tumor and I was good for a while. It came back 2020. It turned out I had been misdiagnosed and hadn’t had the best treatment. I switched doctors and they saved my life, eventually.
But I was halfway through the cancer experience when I had this offer from—there was a few publishers—to write my memoir. And there was a documentary they were filming also at the same time that I had started already. But at that point, I wasn’t sure how the cancer adventure was going to end up, and I thought, ‘Well, if this doesn’t end too well, then let me write my memoirs and at least I can have that for my kids to read. Or fans.’ So, I did it not knowing if I was going to come out of it alive, basically, and the same with the documentary.
But I think apart from that, halfway through the experience, things started getting better, and my scans got better. I had a new doctor and everything. So, then it became more of a reflection. Also trying to be kind to that young man who set out from Sweden not knowing what the future was to hold for him. And he had a lot of pride, a lot of talent, perhaps, a lot of energy and ambition. But he was kind of insecure. And I know how he made it. But I feel like I want to pay respects to him, and give him some love in my book.”
We discussed mixology and the return of fun cocktails, as Lundgren has also founded Hard Cut Vodka with his wife Emma.
Lundgren: “I love to get involved with cocktails, and I like to mix cocktails. We do bar takeovers sometimes at Hard Cut, and it’s fun to stand behind the bar and talk to people and serve them drinks. It reminds me of the movie business. It’s kind of a hospitality industry, you know?”
Upworthy: Last question. With Father’s Day coming up, do you have a message for everyone for just being a good dad or being a good parent?
Lundgren: “It’s tough to be a good parent. It’s not easy because you’re dealing with your own childhood and that impacts your own parenthood. And sometimes it’s tough to keep those separate. But I think for being a father, it’s a combination of strength and vulnerability that I think that the child needs to see. They want to feel like the father has strength and is protective, but they also want the father to be vulnerable and to understand them, and to be emotional, and to respond to emotions.
I think that is the combination that I’ve been trying to achieve. And I think that’s the most important, to give kids the gift of what is protective and strong. But at the same time, sensitive.”
