Wil Wheaton gave a perfect explanation of how to separate problematic artists from their art

A truly thoughtful response.

Wil Wheaton, art, cancel culture, artists, problematic celebrities
Wil Wheaton speaking to an audience at 2019 Wondercon.Photo credit: Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

When you find out an actor whose work you enjoy is blatantly racist and antisemitic in real life, does that realization ruin every movie they’ve been a part of?

What about an author who has expressed harmful opinions about a marginalized group? What about a smart, witty comedian who turns out to be a serial sexual assaulter? Where do you draw the line between a creator and their creation? As someone with his feet in both worlds, actor Wil Wheaton weighed in on that question and offered a refreshingly reasonable perspective back in 2021.

“Question: I have more of an opinion question for you. When fans of things hear about misconduct happening on sets/behind-the-scenes are they allowed to still enjoy the thing? Or should it be boycotted completely? Example: I’ve been a major fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer since I was a teenager and it was currently airing. I really nerded out on it and when I lost my Dad at age 16. ‘The Body’ episode had me in such cathartic tears. Now we know about Joss Whedon. I haven’t rewatched a single episode since his behavior came to light. As a fan, do I respectfully have to just box that away? Is it disrespectful of the actors that went through it to knowingly keep watching?”

And Wheaton offered this response, which he shared:

Answer: I have been precisely where you are, right now. In fact, we were just talking about this a few days ago, as it relates to a guy who wrote a ton of music that was PROFOUND to me when I was a teenager. He wrote about being lonely and feeling unloved, and all the things I was feeling as a teenager.

He grew up to be a reprehensible bigot, and for years I couldn’t listen to one of the most important bands in my life anymore.

But this week, someone pointed out that he was one member of a group that all worked together to make that thing that was so important to me. And the person he was when he wrote those lyrics is not the person he is today. And the person I was when I heard those lyrics doesn’t deserve to be shoved into a box and put away, because that guy is a shit.

This is a long way of saying that Joss sure turned out to be garbage. Because of who my friends are, I know stuff that isn’t in the public, and it’s pretty horrible. He’s just not a good person, and apparently never was a good person.

BUT! Buffy is more than him. It’s all the actors and crew who made it. It’s all the writers who aren’t Joss. Joss is part of it, sure, and some of the episodes he wrote are terrific.

At least one of the episodes he wrote was deeply meaningful to you at a moment in your life when you’d experienced a loss I can only imagine. The person you are now, and the 16 year-old you were who just lost their dad, are more important than the piece of shit Joss Whedon revealed himself to be.

His bad behavior is on him. He has to live with it, and the consequences of it.

Wil Wheaten, celebrity, wisdom, advice, knowledge
Wil Wheaton | Wil Wheaton speaking at the 2012 Phoenix Comicu2026 | Flickr www.flickr.com

16-year-old you, who just lost their dad, shouldn’t have to think about what a shit Joss Whedon is for even a second. That kid, and you, deserve to have that place to revisit when you need to go there.

I can’t speak for the other actors, even the ones I know. But I will tell you, as an abuse survivor myself who never wanted to be in front of the camera when he was a kid: it’s really okay for you to enjoy the work. The work is good and meaningful, and if nobody is going to watch it because of what one piece of shit did two decades ago, what was it all for?

I’m not the pope of chilitown, so take this for what it’s worth: I believe that when some piece of art is deeply meaningful to a person, for whatever reason, that art doesn’t belong to the person who created it, if it ever did. It belongs to the person who found something meaningful in the art.

If it feels right to you to put it away and never look at it again, that’s totally valid. But if it brings you comfort, or joy, or healing, or just warm familiarity to bring it out and spend some time with it, that’s totally valid, too.

I’ve written a lot of words. I hope some of them make sense and are helpful to you.

Wil Wheaton, Star Trek, celebrity, wisdom, thoughts
Wil Wheaton in Star Trek upload.wikimedia.org

As with practically everything in this world, the question of whether art can or should be separated from the artist is complex. It involves philosophical questions about the nature of art—where it comes from and who it belongs to—as well as questions about how imperfect a person has to be for us to reject everything they create.

In 2023, The Atlantic published a poignant opinion piece by contributing writer Judith Shulevitz, in which she suggests that art does indeed transcend the (problematic) artist. Wheaton’s response and overall take on the matter feels right, especially when we’re regarding art that is collaboratively created.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • Harrison Ford brings viewers to tears in surprisingly emotional speech
    Harrison Ford has been acting in film and television for over 50 years.Photo credit: Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons
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    Harrison Ford brings viewers to tears in surprisingly emotional speech

    Ford’s Life Achievement Award brought out his heart, humor, and humility.

    Han Solo. Indiana Jones. Rick Deckard. Richard Kimble. Harrison Ford has played characters so iconic they’ve made him a household name for generations. And he’s still acting, playing a lovably cantankerous therapist in Apple TV’s Shrinking. So it’s no surprise that Ford is being recognized by his peers with the 2026 SAG-AFTRA Life Achievement Award.

    What was surprising was seeing Ford deliver a moving, heartfelt speech at the March 1 Actor Awards ceremony—one that lacked any hint of the gruff persona so often associated with him. With humor, humility, and heart, he spoke not only to his fellow actors but to anyone who genuinely loves what they do.

    He began his speech with characteristically dry wit, joking about being there to “receive a prize for being alive.”

    “That said, it is a little weird to be receiving a lifetime achievement award at the half point of my career,” said the 83-year-old. “It’s a little early isn’t it? I’m still a working actor!”

    Ford shared that he had not been an overnight success. He spent 15 years going back and forth between acting and carpentry before finally landing a role in a wildly successful film.

    “None of this happened on my own,” Ford said.

    He thanked Star Wars creator George Lucas and Indiana Jones director Steven Spielberg. He also thanked film producer and casting director Fred Roos, as well as his manager of 30 years, Pat McQueeney, for getting him through hard times in the business.

    “They were both incredibly persistent in their support of me at a time when I really needed it,” Ford said. “I would not be here without them. They are no longer with us, but it feels important that I thank them now.”

    Ford shared that he was “a little lost” in his third year of college.

    “I was failing at school. I felt isolated and alone,” he said. “And then I found a company of people putting on plays. Storytellers. People I once thought were misfits and geeks turned out to be my people. I found a calling. A life in storytelling. An identity in pretending to be other people.”

    Then he spoke about what that life has meant to him, becoming clearly emotional.

    “The work I do with other actors is one of the great joys of my life,” he said. “My career is built on their work, as well as the work of writers, directors, and every single cast member and every crew member I’ve ever been on a set with.”

    He spoke of the “honor” and “privilege” of doing collaborative, creative work for audiences.

    “And because of that privilege, I have come to know myself,” he said. “Ours is a tough business to get into. In my case, it’s been a tough business to get out of, thank God. Because I love what I do.”

    “As actors, we get to live many lives,” he continued. “We get to explore ideas that affirm and elevate our shared experience. The stories we tell have a unique capacity to create moments of emotional connection. They bring us together.”

    Ford said that no matter what stage of their careers actors are in, they share “something fundamental.”

    “We share the privilege of working in the world of ideas, of empathy, of imagination,” he said. “Sometimes we make entertainment. Sometimes we make art. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, we make both at the same time. And if we’re really fortunate, we also get to make a living doing it.”

    And he spoke of the importance of lifting others up.

    “Success in this business brings a certain freedom that comes with responsiblity,” he said. “To support each other. To lift others up when we can. To keep the door open for the next kid, the next lost boy who’s looking for a place to belong.”

    Finally, he spoke with gratitude about his good fortune.

    “I am indeed a lucky guy,” he said. “Lucky to have found my people. Lucky to have work that challenges me. Lucky to still be doing it. And I don’t take that for granted. I want to say thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. To my peers, to my extraordinary, beautiful wife, Calista. And my family, who have given me love and courage through all of it. And thank you to SAG-AFTRA for honoring me with this prize. This is very encouraging.”

    Ford was speaking to his fellow Hollywood actors, of course, but his speech carried a powerful, universal message that resonated widely. Many people on X found themselves brought to tears by his sincere, heartfelt words:

    “Harrison Ford, known for his rugged dignity, just gave one of the most touching acceptance speeches I’ve ever heard. Just a man, reflecting on the incredible blessing it is to be able to do what you love and find your place in the world. I cried.” – @PettyLupone

    “Tears welled up in my eyes because he said it from the bottom of his heart… How wonderful it is to have opportunities that help you grow personally and professionally… Beautiful speech.” – @8MilaMila8

    “Beautiful speech. Very moving. He is a national treasure and a cultural icon indeed.” – @beingpt

    “Sobbing my eyes out. Harrison Ford is the first actor I ever became a fan of before I even understood what that meant. His body of work is one thing, but in moments like this, it’s his character that speaks, and we are so lucky to live in a world where he’s on our screens.” – @GissaneSophia

    “There’s something powerful about seeing a legend get raw like that. Harrison Ford has played smugglers, archaeologists, presidents, and heroes, but that speech strips it all back to a craftsman talking about work, gratitude, and responsibility. The line about entertainment versus art hits because it’s honest, most projects are just jobs, but every so often something transcends. And the part about keeping the door open for the next ‘lost boy’ is the real legacy move. Success isn’t just freedom, it’s stewardship. When someone who’s been at the top that long still says ‘I’m lucky,’ that’s humility forged by decades, not PR polish. That’s why it landed.” – @Dan_Brisbois

    Well said. Thanks for over five decades of entertainment and art, Harrison Ford.

  • The West Philly club teaching boys to be gentlemen
    The Distinguished Young Gentleman club teaches boys important life skills. Photo credit: Distinguished Young Gentleman/YouTube
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    The West Philly club teaching boys to be gentlemen

    Meet Dwayne Frazier, the man behind the Distinguished Young Gentlemen club—where suits, etiquette, and big dreams are the lesson plan.

    Every other week, more than two dozen boys walk into Lewis C. Cassidy Academics Plus School in West Philadelphia wearing suits, neckties, and dress shoes. They shake hands with firm grips and maintain eye contact while speaking. They are gentlemen carrying themselves with a confidence that turns heads.

    For many of them, this is their first time wearing a suit.

    @6abcmatteo

    West Philadelphia teacher Dwayne Frazier started an afterschool club where students suit up and learn how to become ‘Distinguished Young Gentlemen.’ #philly #goodnews

    ♬ original sound – 6abcmatteo

    One student puts it plainly: “The first time I ever wore a suit was when I joined the Distinguished Young Gentlemen. It feels good. I think I look handsome in it.”

    At the heart of all this is Dwayne Eric Frazier—a teacher, retired firefighter, and ordained reverend. He built the Distinguished Young Gentleman club (DYG) from scratch, transforming it from an after-school initiative into a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to impacting lives well beyond the classroom.

    Meet the man behind the mission

    Growing up in North Philadelphia, Frazier’s father taught him how to tie a necktie, polish his shoes, and look people in the eye while speaking. Those lessons stuck, following him through military service—three years of active duty in the U.S. Army and six years in the Air National Guard—and through a 26-year career with the Philadelphia Fire Department.

    After retiring from the fire department in December 2019, Frazier returned to school for his master’s in early childhood education at Lincoln University. In 2020, he began teaching elementary classes, building on his B.A. in African American studies from Temple University and an M.A. in religion from Cairn University.

    DYG’s roots go back to 1996, when Frazier coached a youth basketball team called the “Distinguished Gentlemen” and used the sport to foster etiquette among Philadelphia children. The idea stayed with him, and in 2021, with support from volunteer Gordon Stewart Harrison, he formalized it as an after-school club at Cassidy Elementary.

    Philadelphia, distinguished, young, gentlemen, mentorship
    A mentor teaches a young boy how to iron a dress shirt. Photo credit: Distinguished Young Gentleman

    He also credits Sleman Clark, a Temple University student who ran a mentorship camp in the neighborhood where he grew up in the 1970s, as his inspiration. That early experience of being seen and guided by an older person planted a seed that took decades to bloom.

    More than a suit

    The dress code matters at DYG, but the curriculum goes much deeper.

    The club meets weekly after school, with students required to wear suits, neckties, and dress shoes every other week. Frazier models this daily, viewing disciplined dress as a silent statement: “When you dress right, you don’t have to say a word—it speaks for you.”

    Weekly lessons at DYG cover a wide range of practical life skills:

    • Professional etiquette: firm handshakes, strong eye contact, punctuality, how to carry a wallet, and how to dress for job interviews.
    • Respect and character: how to treat women, emotional regulation, and self-discipline.
    • Appearance and presentation: necktie-tying, shoe-polishing, and what it means to show up prepared.
    • Career awareness: exposure to professions beyond the ones visible to kids in their neighborhood.

    Emotional intelligence is central. As Frazier says: “It’s about manners, appearances, and self-respect. Learn how to think before they speak, not react with emotions.”

    He describes the program’s core values as “respect, responsibility, reading, and resilience.”

    Impact beyond the classroom

    Field trips are where Frazier’s vision comes into full focus.

    DYG has taken students to the White House and United States Congress for civic education. In February 2024, they toured the 6abc Philadelphia newsroom, where they met the station’s general manager and on-air talent. They also visited the WDAS radio station and spoke with on-air personality Patty Jackson, who discussed what a career in broadcasting can look like.

    The most ambitious trip happened in October 2025: a multi-day journey to Atlanta. DYG spent months planning and fundraising for the trip. In July, Frazier reached out to the public on Classix 107.9 FM to explain why he chose Morehouse College as the destination:

    “I always wanted to go to Morehouse College. It’s an HBCU—it’s the only Black male college in the country—and it promotes positivity. I wanted to take the boys to see that.”

    From October 9 to 13, the group visited Morehouse College, Clark Atlanta University, the Martin Luther King Jr. Center, Tyler Perry Studios, and The Coca-Cola Company headquarters—driven by the idea: “If you can see it, you can believe it.”

    Philadelphia, distinguished, young, gentlemen, mentorship
    Dwayne Frazier is showing young men that the future is bright for them. Photo credit: Distinguished Young Gentleman

    Showing West Philadelphia elementary school students the campus of a prestigious HBCU gave them a tangible, lived sense that higher education is a path available to them.

    After returning, one student said he wanted to become a lawyer. Another added, “I act like a gentleman, I think like a gentleman, and I look like a gentleman.”

    Breaking the cycle

    Cassidy Elementary serves a community in which 99% of students qualify for free or reduced-price lunch, and 86% are Black or African American. DYG’s focus is breaking cycles of poverty and inequality by equipping boys with social and interpersonal skills. The goal is clear: to help every participant succeed in life, no matter the environment.

    Frazier clearly distinguishes between the cultural influences working against young boys and what DYG aims to build.

    “When we look at society today, and what the culture is doing to our young boys, we get to reel them back in and give them the basics,” he said in a 2025 feature for 6abc Philadelphia. “Basic things like coming on time. When you see a person, look them in the eye, shake their hand.”

    For 8th grader Safiy Salley, the program is “a very big blessing to actually be involved in something that could really change my life.” His classmate Lance Epps, reflecting on the visit to 6abc Philadelphia, said, “It shows you’re more than you’re presented in your regular clothes. I think to myself, ‘Should I wear a suit every day?’”

    That question—and the fact that a middle schooler in West Philadelphia is asking it—speaks volumes about what DYG truly represents.

    A community that shows up

    DYG relies on donations and volunteers. The organization is officially registered as Distinguished Young Gentlemen of America Inc. and holds 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Contributions help fund field trips, provide students with suits, and sustain the program week after week. If this story moved you, visit DYG’s website to donate or learn more.

    DYG shows that with one person’s vision—and a suit—lasting change is possible.

  • ‘To see within’: How the Icelandic concept ‘InnSæi’ can help you make better decisions
    A woman looks out over the crashing water. Photo credit: Canva
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    ‘To see within’: How the Icelandic concept ‘InnSæi’ can help you make better decisions

    InnSæi (pronounced “in-sy-ay”) is an Icelandic philosophical framework for understanding and cultivating intuition.

    Have you ever been in a meeting where something appeared…off, but you couldn’t explain why? That subtle feeling is the Icelandic concept of intuition known as InnSæi (pronounced “in-sy-ay”).

    While many of us dismiss gut feelings as “woo woo,” neuroscience is beginning to prove otherwise. Research from institutions like the Max Planck Institute for Human Development shows that our intuition is very real. Researchers report that intuition results from our unconscious mind processing information much faster than our rational brain. Your body senses subtle clues and patterns you don’t consciously notice, communicating through hunches and that feeling of “just knowing.”

    In our hyperconnected world, we’ve grown distant from this inner wisdom. Notifications ping, feeds scroll endlessly, and information floods in from every direction, taking us far away from InnSæi.

    To do so, it’s worth asking: what if you could reconnect with this lost sense? What if you could tap into this hidden intelligence to make better decisions, lower stress, and handle life’s uncertainties with more confidence?

    This brings us to InnSæi. Let’s explore what it means, why it’s more relevant than ever, and how you can begin cultivating it today.

    The true meaning of InnSæi

    The word InnSæi combines two Icelandic roots: Inn (meaning “inside” or “inward”) and ‌Sæi (to see, also evoking “sær,” meaning “sea”). This beautiful, poetic compound reflects three connected aspects of intuition.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    A person sits in front of the ocean with their back to the camera. Photo credit: Canva

    The sea within

    This refers to the ongoing activity of your unconscious mind: a place of imagination, vision, and quick pattern recognition that works below conscious awareness. Neuroscientist Joel Pearson describes intuition as “the learned, productive use of unconscious information.” Your mind is constantly active, continually connecting ideas, like a steady, ever-moving current. Research shows that our brains begin processing decisions up to seven seconds before we are consciously aware of them.

    To see within

    Self-awareness, also known as metacognition, is like a mirror for your mind, allowing you to clearly observe your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It helps you differentiate genuine intuition from fears, biases, or wishful thinking that can obscure judgment. Studies show that developing metacognitive skills improves emotional control and boosts decision-making. By turning your focus inward, you can block out the noise and pay attention to what truly matters in your inner world.

    To see from the outside

    This dimension represents an inner compass, or the natural competence to steer life’s uncertainties with inspired confidence. It focuses less on strict rules and more on staying true to your authentic values and deeper intuition. This compass provides clarity, focus, and fortitude, guiding you through the most chaotic times.

    Why intuition is more important than ever

    We live in an era of constant information overload. Today, an average person consumes more data in a single day than someone in the 15th century did in a lifetime. Our attention has become a limited resource, continuously pulled by content algorithms, 24-hour news cycles, and endless virtual distractions.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    Three children play with a tablet. Photo credit: Canva

    This nonstop flow of information can drown out your intuition. It creates a disconnect from your body, your internal signals, and the indicators that could guide you toward the right path. As Icelandic author and intuition expert Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir notes, “We’ve outsourced our inner expertise.”

    Intuition embodies more than just a desirable trait; it is a key part of innovation, creativity, and effective leadership. A 2017 study found that Nobel laureates see intuition as a key factor in their revolutionary findings. Similarly, business leaders often credit their most successful decisions, especially in uncertain or urgent situations, to their gut instincts.

    Intuition is like a muscle—you can strengthen it through practice.

    Four ways to cultivate your InnSæi

    1. Connect with your gut (5-15 minutes)

    Your body holds subconscious knowledge. When something feels wrong, you might notice tension in your stomach, tightness in your chest, or a sense of unease. These bodily signals often happen before you become consciously aware of the issue.

    Try this: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Put one hand on your stomach and notice its movement with each inhale and exhale. Ask yourself what you are sensing—warmth, tension, calm, or unease. Name these feelings silently or out loud. Notice any changes as you breathe and pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do this daily to make the signals more familiar.

    Ask yourself simple, honest questions: How am I feeling today? Is this decision aligned with who I am right now? Notice whether your stomach feels at ease or tense.

    With regular practice, your body’s internal signals grow clearer.

    2. Keep a daily journal (5-15 minutes)

    Stream-of-consciousness journaling is a profoundly effective way to gain mental clarity. Letting thoughts drift freely onto paper without editing or restraint creates mental space. Research shows that handwriting improves clarity and memory more than typing.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    Someone writes in their journal. Photo credit: Canva

    Try this: Set a timer for 5 to 15 minutes and write without stopping. Do not analyze, censor, or judge what you write—just keep the pen moving. If you hit a blank, write “I don’t know what to write” repeatedly until another thought appears. Afterward, briefly review what you wrote and make a note of any emotions or physical sensations you notice.

    Over time, you’ll begin to observe patterns: recurring fears, internal critical voices that aren’t yours, or repetitive thought loops. Building this awareness helps you distinguish between true intuition and mental chatter. As you write, pay attention to your body. Observe physical reactions to your ideas.

    3. Be mindful of what captures your attention

    Your focus is the gateway to intuition. It shapes your inner world and your perception of reality. Yet, we rarely notice what captures our attention during the day.

    Try this: Carry a small notebook throughout your day. When something captures your attention—a phrase, a color, or a strong emotion—immediately write it down, noting the time and place. Keep this up for a week.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    A woman writes in her journal. Photo credit: Canva

    At the end of the week, review your notebook. Select 10 words or phrases that stand out most. Write these in a vertical list on a new page. Spend two minutes simply observing the list—do not analyze. Notice if feelings, ideas, or connections come to mind. Write down any motifs or impressions that arise.

    Paying close attention to your focus uncovers the underlying influences shaping you. This can function as a strong catalyst for creativity.

    4. Cultivate flow (60 minutes)

    Flow is the magical state where you forget about time and self, fully immersed in what you’re doing. Research shows that in states of flow, the brain decreases activity in executive control regions and increases activity in sensory areas, creating space for intuitive insights to surface.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    A woman in a black dress holds a scarf in the wind. Photo credit: Canva

    Try this: Select a task that is meaningful but slightly challenging for you. Set a timer for 60 minutes. Remove all potential distractions (phone, notifications), and consider playing only instrumental music. Focus on the task without stopping to judge or edit. Afterward, take three minutes to note how you felt and any thoughts that came to you during the session.

    Gunnsteinsdóttir used this technique when developing a strategy for her work on InnSæi. She downloaded a template, set a timer, and let her vision flow onto the page. “I didn’t stop to think about what I was writing; I simply allowed what emerged to flow,” she explains. After 60 minutes, she read what she had written and made only minor tweaks.

    After your flow session, reflect in your journal: Did you lose sense of time? What would you do differently next time? Did this state help you access your inner compass?

    Charting your way forward

    In tough times, a strong InnSæi is vital. Trusted intuition anchors you and yields richer guidance.

    Begin with one small new practice: spend five minutes on intentional breathing each morning, or write a journal entry at night thinking about how your body felt that day. Keep a notebook for tracking observations that catch your attention. Schedule one 60-minute flow session each week. Track your progress in your journal and review it weekly to notice changes or patterns.

    curiosity, psychology, styles, mental, health
    A person in a white t-shirt and colorful hat sits in front of the water with their back to the camera. Photo credit: Canva

    With practice, your inner signals grow clearer. Observation becomes sharper, decisions more confident, and you handle uncertainty with ease. Your ever-present intuition is a steady guide. Will you make space to listen?

    Begin now—your inner compass is prepared to guide you.

  • Torchy Swinson, a Southern great-grandmother, gives the most iconic advice and people are riveted
    Torchy Swinson, a Southern great-grandmother, gives the most iconic advice and people are riveted.Photo credit: Canva

    Torchy Swinson, a self-described great-grandmother of seven, has figured out a formula for imparting wisdom in both a heartfelt and hilarious way. In fact, her effortless ability to chat with her social media audience has garnered her over one million followers on TikTok alone.

    Her hook is this: she begins each clip with the line, “I was gonna tell you something,” which sounds like the elderly loved ones so many of us personally know. The idea is that, perhaps, she thought of something to say, forgot it, and then remembered again. This is followed by her thoughts on life or just a story about her day.

    elderly, old woman, grandma, mother, parent
    A smiling elderly woman.Photo credit: Canva Photos

    In one viral video (with over 1.7 million views and nearly 63,000 likes), she simply talks about something she learned in school. Her Southern accent in full force, she says, “I was gonna tell you something. Y’all I’m so glad that I learned about parallelograms instead of taxes when I went to school. Cuz it comes in so handy, this parallelogram season.” She then adorably rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

    Many on Facebook can relate.

    “We were talking about that yesterday. How kids are not taught to write a check and balance it,” someone comments.

    Another commenter goes even further, writing, “The amount of times that fractions and decimals have saved my life is incredible! I am so glad they taught me this rather than investments and retirement funds. On another note, can I just say when you pop up and I hear that ‘I was gonna tell y’all something….’ it just makes my day. It’s so refreshing to hear someone else having the same thoughts and feelings regarding these insane times. I sure love you!”

    In an interview with First Alert 7, Swinson explained that her oldest great-granddaughter set her up on TikTok in 2020. Thinking she would share a joke or a poem, she rechecked a few months later to find she had become quite popular.

    @first.alert.7

    We talked to @Torchy Swinson yesterday about how she got started on TikTok tune in to the newscasts tonight to see our Hendricks Hero! community hero fyp permianbasin westtexas

    ♬ original sound – First Alert 7

    In another clip, Swinson begins with her standard, “I was gonna tell you something.” She leads us to believe this might be a serious post, but it takes a turn: “I may look alright on the outside. But inside, I’ve already had to say ‘bless your heart’ three times.”

    An Instagrammer lovingly responds, “Bless your heart every moment of every day from an old TikTok follower from way back.”

    Some of her videos cite biblical Psalms, which her audience greatly appreciates. At other times, she simply offers good old-fashioned advice about aging:

    “I was gonna tell you something. I just reached the last years of the ‘I’ll be so glad when…’ I wasted so much time on that. ‘I’ll be so glad when they’re out of diapers. I’ll be so glad when they start school. I’ll be so glad when they’re out of school. I’ll be so glad when this, when that…when we can retire.’ If I could tell you one thing, and I’m not trying to be that old wise woman giving you advice, but if I could tell you one thing. Don’t postpone joy. Find your joy in what’s happening today, cuz that’s where it lies.”

    There are over 20,000 comments just on this clip. Singer Michael Bublé writes, “You’re not trying to be a wise woman. You simply are a wise woman.”

    Another TikToker shares, “There is joy in every stage! Love it all, because you’ll miss it when it’s gone.”

  • Singing mailman serenades woman who lost her husband, and people rally to get him a life-changing gift
    An image of Lavonte Harvey serenading a woman who lost her husband.Photo credit: @bossywhit/Instagram

    Sometimes sharing joy really is the gift that keeps on giving. 

    For 23-year-old mailman Lavonte Harvey, joy was found every day along his delivery routes as he sang tunes while dropping off letters and packages. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one enjoying it. As Whitney Cumbo shared on Instagram, Harvey was her grandmother’s “daily dose of life,” especially after she had lost her husband of fifty years.

    That’s why Cumbo knew she had to ask Harvey to sing a special song for her grandmother’s birthday. Harvey agreed, and a video of his sweet serenade took off online, garnering more than 14 million views.

    It’s easy to see why it resonated with so many. Between Harvey’s angelic vocals, generous spirit, and genuine kindness, there’s so much to love here.

    “He has such a beautiful voice …… you can tell he is such a kind soul,” one viewer wrote. 

    “Renewing my faith in humanity one song at a time. What a star!!” added another. 

    But going viral was only the beginning. After learning that Harvey endured a daily two-and-a-half-hour commute, Cumbo, a financial literacy teacher, set up a GoFundMe for him. It quickly raised enough money to purchase a new truck, cutting his commute to a much more feasible half hour.

    “I’m able to walk my dog now in the morning, come home and feed him in time,” Harvey said, according to People. “I’m able to have more of a personal life. It’s not all just work-life based.”

    Harvey would later open up about his own mental health, sharing that he struggles with depression, often in silence. For him, singing was a small way to “keep pushing in healthier ways” and, hopefully, uplift others in the process.

    After being on the receiving end of such “genuine support [and] love,” Harvey was further inspired to keep spreading joy in new ways, including starting a clothing company.

    “For me, I just want to keep spreading hope,” he said, as reported by People. “Be your true, authentic self, don’t allow anyone or nay-sayers tell you who you can or cannot be. Even when no one is watching, be who you are.”

    What a lovely sentiment. You never know what magic awaits when you share a piece of your heart with the world. Whether it leads to viral fame, a new car, or simply making someone else’s day, it’s always worth it. May we all find the motivation and courage to share our truest selves today.

  • Caregivers at senior living home share the 3 hard truths they wish everyone knew
    A caregiver in medical scrubs helps an older man with a walker.Photo credit: Canva
    , ,

    Caregivers at senior living home share the 3 hard truths they wish everyone knew

    “Sometimes people forget how much we love the elderly we work with.”

    While caring for the elderly can be extremely rewarding, it comes with a specific set of challenges that aren’t often discussed. Delivering high-quality care is vital for anyone in this position, but this must come with a level of patience many of us might take for granted.

    While visiting my own mother in the senior living home where she resides, I was able to sit down for heart-to-hearts with a few of the caregivers who work for various residents. They opened up in a way I found beautifully vulnerable and surprising. Here are their stories. (At their request, I have changed their names.)

    Setting boundaries with families

    Caregiver discusses a patient with another family member.
    Caregiver discusses a patient with another family member. / Image via Canva

    A woman named Veronica shared that she often feels stuck in the middle of family disputes. “I don’t like it when I’m just trying to do my job and take care of clients and I’ve got 20 people calling me. Sisters, wives, brothers, daughters, sons, and even best friends. Everyone has an opinion. I wish they’d have family meetings and decide what to do without sticking me in the middle.”

    Another woman, Anne, added her two cents, saying, “Family dynamics are tricky. I want to respect how hard it is to age on everyone in the family, without feeling like I’m inserting myself in the drama.”

    They want to be asked about their day

    caregiving, caregivers, burnout, nursing, elderly, senior citizens
    A caregiver takes a break. / Image via Canva

    Anne shares that she sometimes feels invisible. “Sometimes I wish they would ask how things are in my life. What my hopes and wishes are. I would like it if they understood that sometimes I need a day off, or that my body hurts sometimes.”

    On a resource site for caregivers, one of the helpful tips is finding the balance between helping others and self-care. This means paying attention to their own mental and physical health needs. “Maintaining your health is crucial for being able to care effectively for your loved one. Take care of your own health by focusing on nutrition, exercise, and sufficient rest. Regular self-care routines can help you stay strong and resilient in the face of caregiving demands.”

    Mental Health America also has a few articles dedicated to self-care as a caregiver. “If you cannot remember the last time you slept properly, ate adequately, exercised weekly, or did not feel guilty about taking a sick day, then you’re probably feeling the impacts of caregiving on your mental and physical health. Ask yourself: ‘What could I do to replenish myself?’”

    They go on to give tips: “Is there any small action that could improve my life or make me feel more content with my present state? If you’re treating yourself fairly, the answer should be yes. Everyone always has some need that could be better fulfilled—caregivers are no exception.”

    Hard to say goodbye

    caregiving, caregiver, elderly, senior citizens, loss, grief
    Elderly people holding hands. / Photo by Dulcey Lima on Unsplash

    Sometimes, especially after a caregiver has worked with a person for more than a month or two, they develop a true bond. While the connection is genuinely satisfying, it can make the loss of that patient even harder.

    Mark, who has been working with senior citizens for two decades, explains how devastating the losses can feel. “I worked with a woman named Evelyn for seven years. She passed away at the age of 94. It’s especially hard because when you’re in this business, you might have three clients pass in the span of a few weeks.”

    Veronica added, “Sometimes people forget how much we love the elderly we work with.”

    These sentiments come back to decompression. Processing just one loss can be difficult. Having to do so for multiple people in a short amount of time takes extra healing time for everyone.

    The resource site also notes how important it is to take breaks when needed. “Caregiving can be overwhelming, so taking respite breaks regularly is important. These breaks can help prevent burnout and give you time to recharge. Schedule time for yourself to engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax.”

  • People share 14 words they first learned through Disney songs that expanded their vocabularies
    Disney songs help people expand their vocabularies. Photo credit: Wikipedia/Canva
    ,

    People share 14 words they first learned through Disney songs that expanded their vocabularies

    “We used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kids’ songs.”

    Disney movies have been a part of the American childhood since the studio released its first feature-length animated film in 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ever since, Disney films have been known for their catchy, clever songs.

    On Reddit, logophiles and Disney fans shared advanced vocabulary words they first learned after hearing them in Disney songs.

    “Wow we used to be UTTERLY SPOILED with the level of internal rhyme and skillful poetics that went into kid’s songs,” one person wrote.

    These are 14 vocabulary words people learned as kids from Disney songs that have stuck with them to this day:

    Genuflect

    Definition: “To bend the knee; to touch the knee to the floor or ground especially in worship; to be humbly obedient or respectful.”
    Movie: Aladdin
    Song: “Prince Ali”
    Lyrics:
    “Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa
    Genuflect, show some respect
    Down on one knee”

    Meticulous

    Definition: “Very careful about doing something in an extremely accurate and exact way; showing or requiring extreme care and attention to detail.”
    Movie:
    Lion King
    Song:
    “Be Prepared”
    Lyrics:
    “So prepare for the coup of the century
    Be prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)
    Meticulous planning (We’ll have food!)
    Tenacity spanning (Lots of food!)
    Decades of denial (We repeat!)”

    Mediocrity

    Definition: “Mediocre, of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; ordinary, so-so.”
    Movie:
    The Sword in the Stone
    Song:
    “That’s What Makes the World Go Round”
    Lyrics:
    “You must set your sights upon the heights
    Don’t be a mediocrity
    Don’t just wait and trust to fate
    And say, that’s how it’s meant to be”

    Expectorating

    Definition: “To eject from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting.”
    Movie:
    Beauty and the Beast
    Song:
    “Gaston”
    Lyrics:
    “No one hits like Gaston
    Matches wits like Gaston
    In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston
    I’m especially good at expectorating
    Ten points for Gaston!”

    Prattle

    Definition: “Trifling or empty talk; a sound that is meaningless, repetitive, and suggestive of the chatter of children.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song:
    “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
    Lyrics:
    “The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
    They think a girl who gossips is a bore
    Yes, on land it’s much preferred
    For ladies not to say a word
    And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?”

    Dote

    Definition: “To be lavish or excessive in one’s attention, fondness, or affection —usually used with on.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song:
    “Poor Unfortunate Souls”
    Lyrics:
    “Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
    True gentlemen avoid it when they can
    But they dote and swoon and fawn
    On a lady who’s withdrawn
    It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man”

    Cabaret

    Definition: “A restaurant serving liquor and providing entertainment (as by singers or dancers).”
    Movie:
    Beauty and the Beast
    Song:
    “Be Our Guest”
    Lyrics:
    “We’ll prepare and serve with flair
    A culinary cabaret
    You’re alone
    And you’re scared
    But the banquet’s all prepared”

    Pachyderms

    Definition: “Any of various nonruminant mammals (such as an elephant, a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus) of a former group (Pachydermata) that have hooves or nails resembling hooves and usually thick skin.”
    Movie:
    Dumbo
    Song:
    “Pink Elephants on Parade”
    Lyrics:
    “I can stand the sight of worms
    And look at microscopic germs
    But technicolor pachyderms
    Is really too much for me”

    Coup

    Definition: “A sudden decisive exercise of force in politics and especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group.”
    Movie:
    The Lion King
    Song:
    “Be Prepared”
    Lyrics:
    “You won’t get a sniff without me!
    So prepare for the coup of the century
    Be prepared for the murkiest scam (Ooh, la, la, la!)”

    Qualm

    Definition: “A feeling of uneasiness about a point especially of conscience or propriety; a sudden feeling of usually disturbing emotion (such as doubt or fear).”
    Movie:
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame
    Song
    : “The Bells of Notre Dame”
    Lyrics:
    “You can lie to yourself and your minions
    You can claim that you haven’t a qualm
    But you never can run from
    Nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes
    The very eyes of Notre Dame”

    Reprimand

    Definition: “A severe or formal reproof; criticism for a fault; rebuke.”
    Movie:
    The Little Mermaid
    Song
    : “Part of Your World”
    Lyrics:
    “Bet’cha on land they understand
    Bet they don’t reprimand their daughters
    Bright young women, sick of swimmin’
    Ready to stand”

    Precocious

    Definition: “Exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age; exceptionally early in development or occurrence.”
    Movie:
    Mary Poppins 
    Song
    : “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”
    Lyrics:
    “It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
    If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

    Nabob

    Definition: “A provincial governor of the Mogul empire in India; a person of great wealth or prominence.”
    Movie:
    Aladdin
    Song
    : “Friend Like Me”
    Lyrics:
    “Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
    I’m on the job, you big nabob

    Nom de plume

    Definition: “A name that a writer uses instead of their legal name; pseudonym; pen name.”
    Movie:
    Aladdin
    Song
    : “One Jump Ahead”
    Lyrics:
    “One jump ahead of the slowpokes
    One skip ahead of my doom
    Next time gonna use a nom de plume

  • Fourth grade teacher beautifully explains what grief is to her students using a vase
    Fourth grade teacher Miss Ryan Brazil explains what grief is to her students using a vase.Photo credit: Images courtesy of Instagram/@miss.brazil_28 (used with permission)

    Grief is a universal experience that touches everyone—from kids to adults. And for fourth grade teacher Ryan Brazil, she used her own recent loss to help educate and open up to her students about grief.

    In a touching video, Brazil tenderly explained what grief is to her students after they finished reading A Kids Book About Grief by Brennan C. Wood. She tells her class, “More than half our class is in tears and is being vulnerable and brave and sharing stories of their own grief.”

    She then pulls out an empty vase that she explains represents her “brain and her heart,” before adding: “I normally have more space for patience, focus, and calm. I showed them how little things that happen during the day like noise, questions, mistakes are like colorful pom poms filling up the vase. Normally, there’s plenty of space to handle those things.”

    However, due to grief, she added that she has less space—and put a crumpled up piece of black construction paper in the vase to demonstrate the space grief can occupy in a person’s heart and mind. “It can make you more tired, less patient, and quicker to feel overwhelmed. I wanted my students to understand that if I seemed off lately, it wasn’t about them. It’s just my brain and heart are doing a lot of extra work right now,” she added in the video caption. “It turned into one of the most healing moments I’ve ever had in my classroom.”

    Brazil tells Upworthy that the lesson deeply impacted not just her students, but herself. “My sister passed away recently and very unexpectedly, so I’ve been having a difficult time. I was feeling overwhelmed and in pain, and I needed a way to discuss what was happening in my brain and my heart,” Brazil says.

    So, she decided to share with her students rather than hide. “Discussing grief with my students changed something in our classroom. So many kids opened up about their own losses,” she says. “Some were more recent and some were before they were born, but they were still hurt by them. There was this release of emotions that felt like they were probably holding on to those feelings for a long time. We really rallied around each other and were there for each other. It was really helpful for me, personally. I felt understood in that moment and part of a community.”

    She hopes that her video will encourage others (including educators) to open up to students. “I am not an expert (on most things, honestly), but I don’t think that’s what kids need,” she adds. “They don’t need us to be perfect, they just need us to give them space to feel and understand that feelings are welcome. We all learned that grief isn’t something to hide. It’s something we can learn to hold onto together.”

    Expert tips for how to teach kids about grief

    Looking for more ways to explain what grief is to your kids? These are five tips from grief experts to help.

    Name the feelings, not just the loss

    “Kids often mirror our emotions but don’t always have the words for them. Instead of avoiding words like sad or angry, model using them out loud: ‘I’m feeling sad today because I miss Grandpa’,” Angie Hanson, a certified grief coach, educator, and author of Chapters of a Resilient Heart, tells Upworthy. “This helps kids name and normalize their own emotions. Grief becomes less scary when it’s spoken about openly.”

    Tip #2: Use simple, honest language

    “It is commonplace to use words like ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’ when talking about death, but these words can be confusing and add to misconceptions and anxiety for young children,” Jessica Correnti, MS, Certified Child Life Specialist at Kids Grief Support and author of The ABCs of Grief, tells Upworthy. “It is recommended to use concrete, factual words like ‘death,’ ‘died,’ and ‘dying’ even though these may feel blunt or difficult to say. Grief is a small word, but a very confusing and layered experience.”

    Create a “heart space” ritual

    “Like the vase activity, give grief a visual home. Create a small jar or box called a heart space,” says Hanson. “When they miss someone, they can place drawings, notes, or keepsakes inside. This teaches them that love doesn’t disappear, it changes form, and it’s okay to keep that connection.”

    Keep grief in the conversation, not just the moment

    “Children revisit grief as they grow. Keep their loved one’s memory woven into everyday life,” says Hanson. “Bake their favorite cookies, tell stories, or say, ‘I wonder what Grandma would think of this.’ It shows that grief isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing expression of love and remembrance.”

    Recognize that you may be grieving too

    “It is important for adults to have trusted spaces and people to confide in about their grief reactions so they can be present and available for their child(ren),” Dr. Micki Bruns, Ph.D., a childhood bereavement experts and CEO of Judi’s House/JAG Institute, a childhood bereavement center in Denver, Colorado, tells Upworthy. “At the same time, adults should normalize grief reactions and model healthy coping.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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