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48 surprisingly damaging things that men hear all the time.

Sexism hurts men too.

Earlier this December, the Huffington Post put out a wildly popular video in which women young and old repeated the sexist phrases they hear during a lifetime.

With phrases ranging from "you're so pretty" to "what were you wearing that night," the two-minute video captured what it's like to live in a culture that unfairly defines your worth based on the fact that you happen to be a woman.


Now it's the men's turn to explain the things they hear in a lifetime.

All images via Huffington Post/YouTube.

In "48 Things Men Hear in a Lifetime (That Are Bad for Everyone)," another video from the Huffington Post, men repeat the phrases that often shape how they treat women and each other. Although we don't discuss it much, men also feel that they're often viewed through a narrow lens.

Surprisingly, a lot of the comments in this video deal with stereotypes that are similar to what women face, too, just with a masculine spin.

For example:

1. Men are also judged on their looks.

To illustrate how much women are judged by their looks, the "48 Things Women Hear" video begins and ends with comments reflecting this: "You're so pretty" and "You must have been beautiful when you were younger."

While men might not hear this as incessantly as women, they're also judged on physical characteristics that they have no control over, and are often told they need to fit a stereotypical masculine ideal. This means they're judged on things like being tall, being able to grow facial hair ("You can't even grow a beard!"), and "being buff."

Scientific studies point out that women are judged more strongly by their physical attractiveness than their male counterparts, but as this video shows, men experience this too — sometimes to the point of excluding their personality and capabilities.

2. Men are told that they shouldn't do girly things.

We hammer this notion into boys' heads from a young age: what toys they should play with and what emotions they should or should not express.

Anything perceived as "girly" is off-limits. In this way, boys are discouraged from freely exploring what they might truly like.

And this doesn't change as they grow up, either. For example, while women are questioned for drinking "manly" drinks like whiskey, men are ridiculed for picking a poison that's not stereotypically masculine.

3. Men are also taught not to have feelings.

Most men don't dare get emotional, lest someone ask, "Are you on your period?" (See also "Don't be such a pussy" and "You're so sensitive for a guy.") or make insinuations about sexual orientation. Apparently, the same insults that are lobbed at women can be thrown at men for daring to show emotion at all.

Perhaps The Cure's "Boys Don't Cry" says it best:

"I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry"






Real talk, though: Expressing emotion should not equal emasculation. Both men and women would do well to remember that.

4. Women are shamed for their sexuality. Men are encouraged to do the shaming.

"Don't be a slut."

"No guy wants to have sex with a virgin."

Those were two comments featured in the "48 Things Women Hear" video that capture the sexual double standard women face. But in their video, men are encouraged to play into this double standard, too.

Men didn't make these contradictory rules up themselves. Other men and perhaps even other women have passed down such notions for generations. Plus, this video reminds us that men are even judged by similar standards to women in this regard, with people commonly asking a man, "You're still a virgin?"

Then there's the notion that men should feel entitled to whatever they want sexually, perhaps to mitigate the perception that they're virginal and therefore weak:

And the fact that most bad behavior is then excused with this cliche:

Not all men are perpetrators of rape culture, and not all women are victims of it. But both are at a disadvantage when certain notions are pushed on any gender.

"48 Things Men Hear in a Lifetime" shows more than just how sexism affects society's more favored gender. It also shows how men are taught to subscribe to sexist notions in order to come off as more masculine, as a "real man."

And sometimes those notions don't come from men themselves, but from all of us.

We can't solve sexism without men taking stock of their own beliefs and without reflecting on how women play into those beliefs as well.

Let's think twice before we say certain things about how men and women "should" act according to gender.

Watch the entire video below:

Planet

Easy (and free!) ways to save the ocean

The ocean is the heart of our planet. It needs our help to be healthy.

Ocean Wise

Volunteers at a local shoreline cleanup

True

The ocean covers over 71% of the Earth’s surface and serves as our planet’s heart. Ocean currents circulate vital heat, moisture, and nutrients around the globe to influence and regulate our climate, similar to the human circulatory system. Cool, right?

Our ocean systems provide us with everything from fresh oxygen to fresh food. We need it to survive and thrive—and when the ocean struggles to function healthfully, the whole world is affected.

Pollution, overfishing, and climate change are the three biggest challenges preventing the ocean from doing its job, and it needs our help now more than ever. Humans created the problem; now humans are responsible for solving it.

#BeOceanWise is a global rallying cry to do what you can for the ocean, because we need the ocean and the ocean needs us. If you’re wondering how—or if—you can make a difference, the answer is a resounding YES. There are a myriad of ways you can help, even if you don’t live near a body of water. For example, you can focus on reducing the amount of plastic you purchase for yourself or your family.

Another easy way to help clean up our oceans is to be aware of what’s known as the “dirty dozen.” Every year, scientists release an updated list of the most-found litter scattered along shorelines. The biggest culprit? Single-use beverage and food items such as foam cups, straws, bottle caps, and cigarette butts. If you can’t cut single-use plastic out of your life completely, we understand. Just make sure to correctly recycle plastic when you are finished using it. A staggering 3 million tons of plastic ends up in our oceans annually. Imagine the difference we could make if everyone recycled!

The 2022 "Dirty Dozen" ListOcean Wise

If you live near a shoreline, help clean it up! Organize or join an effort to take action and make a positive impact in your community alongside your friends, family, or colleagues. You can also tag @oceanwise on social if you spot a beach that needs some love. The location will be added to Ocean Wise’s system so you can submit data on the litter found during future Shoreline Cleanups. This data helps Ocean Wise work with businesses and governments to stop plastic pollution at its source. In Canada, Ocean Wise data helped inform a federal ban on unnecessary single-use plastics. Small but important actions like these greatly help reduce the litter that ends up in our ocean.

Ocean Wise, a conservation organization on a mission to restore and protect our oceans, is focused on empowering and educating everyone from individuals to governments on how to protect our waters. They are making conservation happen through five big initiatives: monitoring and protecting whales, fighting climate change and restoring biodiversity, innovating for a plastic-free ocean, protecting and restoring fish stocks, and finally, educating and empowering youth. The non-profit believes that in order to rebuild a resilient and vibrant ocean within the next ten years, everyone needs to take action.

Become an Ocean Wise ally and share your knowledge with others. The more people who know how badly the ocean needs our help, the better! Now is a great time to commit to being a part of something bigger and get our oceans healthy again.

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