In popular culture, summer is often touted as the best season of the year. Countless songs have been written about it, from “Summertime” to “Summer Breeze” to pretty much everything written by The Beach Boys. It’s the carefree season, synonymous with vacations, picnics, and all things fun.
But not everyone enjoys it. In fact, some people hate summer with the passion of a thousand suns. Some suffer from reverse seasonal affective disorder, or “summer SAD.” Others simply don’t like summer for its own sake.
If you hate summer, this one’s for you. (And if you’re a summer lover, stick around. You might just gain some insights into your friends and loved ones who get inexplicably grumpy from June through August.)
Hallelujah! The ‘ber’ months are upon us.
First, let’s briefly revel in the fact that it’s September. Do you feel the weather shifting yet? If not, it’s coming soon. The sun is rising later and setting at a reasonable time. A breezy day starts feeling a little nippy. Cloudy days happen more often and somehow just hit different.
The “ber” months always deliver. September, October, November, and December are summer haters’ best months, when cooler weather and “gloomy” days bring relief from the oppression of summer heat and sunshine. Labor Day might still technically be summer, but it kicks off the not-summer season with school and football starting, sweaters being pulled out from storage, and fall decor hitting the store shelves.
That comfort and coziness rolling in means it’s time to bid goodbye (and good riddance) to all the things summer haters loathe. Here we go…
Let’s talk about summer temps
1. The Heat
We all have different temperature tolerances, and some people are not physically or psychologically built for heat of any kind. Some of us start getting uncomfortable when temps climb above 70 degrees, get grumpy in the 80s, turn downright rageful in the 90s, and are ready to initiate the apocalypse if it hits 100.
2. The Sweat
A part of that heat intolerance is a dislike of sweating. The scientific argument, “But sweat cools you off!” makes absolutely no difference. It doesn’t feel like sweating cools you off. It just feels hot and sticky and icky and yucky and horrible and makes us hate summer.
3. The Humidity
Some of us are lucky enough to live where the heat is dry. Living in humidity is an entirely different ballgame because humid heat feels SO much hotter. Walking outside and feeling like you’ve been wrapped head to toe in a hot, wet blanket? No, thank you. Your skin feeling like you’re sweating even if you aren’t? Yuck. Barely getting relief in the shade? Awful. There’s even a smell indoors that happens in humid climates, like the furniture is all slightly molding or something. You can’t leave a chip bag open for longer than 30 seconds. It takes forever for your towel to air dry. Need I go on?
Now let’s talk about the sun itself
4. Too bright
When you have to squint when you go outside, it’s too bright. If you absolutely have to wear sunglasses, it’s too bright. When you have to close your curtains because the sun is beating in and heating up the house, it’s too bright.
5. Too much daylight
It might seem weird to complain about having too much life-giving sun, but when you wake up at 6:00 a.m. and it’s light out, and at 9:00 p.m. it’s not even dark yet, it’s too much.
6. Too much UV
We always have to worry about too much sun exposure, but we extra have to worry about it during the summer. Those ultraviolet rays are particularly intense, and we’re usually wearing clothes that expose more skin, so we have to think about it way too much.
Let’s not talk about our bodies
7. Being hot vs. being exposed
Speaking of exposed skin, summer makes us choose between wearing clothes that make us hot or having more of our body exposed than we might like. The only other option is to look like our grandmothers. All of it sucks.
8. The pressure to be tan and hairless
Summer is the worst for body consciousness. Not tan enough. Not smooth enough. Is that razor burn? Did someone inject my hamstrings with cottage cheese? Every day it’s a battle with the mirror. Give us sweater and jeans weather.
9. Finding a swimsuit
To add insult to injury, all of those body image issues get put under a spotlight when it’s time to find a swimsuit. Good luck finding one that covers everything you want covered but doesn’t look prudish, one that allows for movement but doesn’t ride up your bum, and one that tucks in all the right places but still allows you to go to the bathroom easily.
Sunscreen, bugs, and bills
10. Sunscreen sucks
It’s either sticky or greasy or smelly or doesn’t rub in all the way. And if you find one you actually like, it probably costs a gazillion dollars per ounce.
11. Bugs, bugs, and more bugs
Mosquitoes. Flies of all kinds. Bugs you don’t recognize. Bees, wasps, hornets, and other stinging things. Swarms of tiny gnats you don’t see ’til you run into them. Big hummers that you’re sure could kill you if they tried.
12. Big electric and water bills
Air conditioning has made summer infinitely more tolerable, but it comes at a cost. And so do all the flowers and greenery that have to be watered, which also make summer tolerable.
The other seasons that come with summer
13. Wildfire smoke season
More places are being affected by wildfire smoke every summer, which doesn’t help us love it more. Adding “can’t breathe the air” to the heat, sun, bugs, etc. ain’t great.
14. Construction season
Summer road trip! Oh wait, not that road. Not that road, either. Stuck at a makeshift stoplight for 10 minutes on this highway. Can’t take that route, they’re doing construction. Lather, rinse, repeat.
15. Crowds and peak pricing
It’s summer! No school! Vacation time! Except it’s vacation time for everyone, which means everywhere is crowded. And since demand is high, so are the prices. Summer = pay lots of money to stand in line behind a mass of humanity while sweating your butt off. Sounds fun.
Bring on the ‘ber months, please. Summer, don’t let the screen door hit you on your way out.
