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Women want one kind of man. Unfortunately, men want one kind of woman.

When you run an online dating platform, you get to learn all sorts of things about people. Some nice things and some ... less nice things.

Women want one kind of man. Unfortunately, men want one kind of woman.

Meet Christian Rudder.

He's the co-founder of OkCupid. It's a huge dating site. He's learned all kinds of crazy stuff about who we are when we think no one is looking.

People in general conform to stereotype far more than you would think. "It's like a 'Saturday Night Live' sketch," Christian says. Common phrases that white guys use to describe themselves include "hunting," "fishing," and "blond hair." The #1 phrase for Asian guys? "Tall for an Asian."

Some of it is, honestly, depressing.

He's examined over 30 million people's dating profiles, and he's learned all kinds of things.


How many people have sex on the first date, for example (54%). How many believe in the death penalty (39%). That sort of thing.

And then, more disturbing facts.

Like these two charts:

You read that right.

Women are looking for guys around their age. And guys are looking for nubile co-eds.

That just doesn't add up.

As for race, it turns out that black users get about 25% fewer interactions on the site than other people.

The crazy part is that he hasn't given up on all of us yet.


If Christian can look at line after line of eye-blurring, stereotype-confirming, sometimes racist, sometimes desperate data and see individual humans, each on their own journey, then surely the rest of us can, too.

Seeing ourselves in aggregate can be a wake-up call. It's a chance to question whether we're doing something we believe in or acting out of social conditioning and habit.

I never thought I'd say this, but maybe a dating site — or at least its data — can make us all a little bit better.

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Davina Agudelo was born in Miami, Florida, but she grew up in Medellín, Colombia.

"I am so grateful for my upbringing in Colombia, surrounded by mountains and mango trees, and for my Colombian family," Agudelo says. "Colombia is the place where I learned what's truly essential in life." It's also where she found her passion for the arts.

While she was growing up, Colombia was going through a violent drug war, and Agudelo turned to literature, theater, singing, and creative writing as a refuge. "Journaling became a sacred practice, where I could leave on the page my dreams & longings as well as my joy and sadness," she says. "During those years, poetry came to me naturally. My grandfather was a poet and though I never met him, maybe there is a little bit of his love for poetry within me."

In 1998, when she left her home and everyone she loved and moved to California, the arts continued to be her solace and comfort. She got her bachelor's degree in theater arts before getting certified in journalism at UCLA. It was there she realized the need to create a media platform that highlighted the positive contributions of LatinX in the US.

"I know the power that storytelling and writing our own stories have and how creative writing can aid us in our own transformation."

In 2012, she started Alegría Magazine and it was a great success. Later, she refurbished a van into a mobile bookstore to celebrate Latin American and LatinX indie authors and poets, while also encouraging children's reading and writing in low-income communities across Southern California.

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via Number 10 / Flickr

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) approved a measure last month that could pave the way for the Catholic Church to deny President Joe Biden communion. The conservative bishops hope to prevent Biden from participating in the sacred ritual because of his support for abortion rights.

Biden is a devout Catholic who considered becoming a priest in his youth. He rarely misses mass, holds a rosary while making critical decisions, and often quotes scriptures. When asked about the bishops' decision Biden said it is "a private matter and I don't think that's going to happen."

The bishops hope the new guidance would push "Catholics who are cultural, political, or parochial leaders to witness the faith."

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