It costs nothing to be kind. And yet, there inevitably will be times when we forget this simple truth. Thankfully, life has a funny way of humbly reminding us of it over and over again.
For a woman named Hiedi (@omgitsheidiii), that moment came when she realized her loud upstairs neighbor was actually an elderly woman living with Parkinson’s.
After moving in, Heidi kept noticing “bowling ball” sounds emanating from the unit above her. Naturally, she was frustrated. Though she never outwardly complained or started a fight, Heidi did record the noise and vented about it online as many of us are wont to do.
Aggravation quickly turned into empathy
But, as Heidi tearfully shared in her video, she finally did see the source of the noise: an 85-year-old woman named Carole, who was shaking uncontrollably as she struggled down the stairs to take out her recycling. The shaking was so bad, Heidi recalled, that her recycling actually spilled all over the ground.
Seeing this, Heidi immediately went over to help, and the two introduced themselves. “I’m so sorry, I have Parkinson’s,” Carole told her. She even asked if she “was too loud” for Heidi.
This, understandably, broke Heidi’s heart. Without missing a beat, she told Carole, “Nope, you’re totally fine.” Reflecting on the moment, Heidi said, “That was just the universe or God or whatever telling me that…you don’t know everyone’s story.”
Since then, Heidi took a special interest in learning Carole’s story. She learned that Carole doesn’t have any family, that the upkeep on her apartment had fallen way behind, that she is vegetarian but hadn’t had a meal that wasn’t from the microwave in years.
“We’re gonna make something happen for Carole,” declared Heidi.
And began an unexpected friendship
She became determined to help out her new friend, visiting her a couple of times each week, cleaning her home little by little, and making her home-cooked meals.
“I’ve had so many people tell me this ‘isn’t my responsibility,’” Heidi’s onscreen text read. “But why can’t I just be kind?”
“The universe/Divine put me in this apartment for a reason✨” she added in her caption. “Carole is my new ‘why’🥹.”
The sweet video series prompted some kind responses in others as well, many of whom tried to leave helpful pieces of advice:
“How about making an Amazon wish list containing things that would make life in her apartment a little bit easier for her, you would also be able to put foods and snacks that she could eat on there, meal prep items on there, and that would be an easy way to keep her name out of things.”
“Be careful raising money. She’ll lose Medicare if she crosses a threshold. And the threshold is LOW in most states.”
“Write your number on a piece of paper and put it on the refrigerator for her too. I know you put it in her phone but it may make her feel a little more at ease to call you if she needs help. Also if something happens to her phone give her a way to ‘notify’ you. Like have her knock on the ceiling 3x with the broom or something. Just a thought.”
“She most likely qualifies for that senior program where they come by and do light housekeeping. That’s at least a lil bit of assistance to you too.”
“Many cities have fee-free rides to medical appointments. With Parkinson’s, no doubt there are ADA/American Disabilities Act.”
Along with the guidance, there were many shared stories of similar experiences
“Similar thing happened to me at my last apartment. A sound that pissed me off turned out to be a disabled veteran. When we finally met, we became very close friends. This was during the Covid lockdown, and he was afraid to go to the grocery store so I would do all of his shopping, errands, etc. He confided in me that his poor wife just passed away and he felt so alone. We spent many beautiful summer days, and fall nights talking and taking walks. I miss him so much.”
“Every time I relearn this lesson I wonder how many more times I’m going to have to learn it.”
“I learned this lesson traveling the country for work. Helping others fills my cup!”
A lesson worth learning every time
It’s easy to make assumptions about the people around us, especially when we only see the small parts of their lives that affect our own. But because Heidi took more interest in learning about this person than venting her frustrations, she gained a friend. We all stand to gain the same benefits by extending the same kindness.
May this sweet story be a reminder for each of us to be a little more gentle and generous.
