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Wife is confused over how to feel about husband who 'emotionally' cheated with babysitter

Is it still wrong if it's not physical?

infidelity, emotional cheating, cheating husband
via Mikhail Nilov/Pexels

A husband is frustrated trying to explain his relationship with the babysitter.

Often when we discuss infidelity, we talk about the physical type where one partner sleeps with someone outside the relationship. However, emotional cheating is a bit more nebulous. “An emotional affair is an affair of the heart,” Dr. Jenn Mann, a licensed marriage and family therapist, writes at InStyle. “The most troubling aspect of the emotional affair, for the person who is in a committed relationship, is that it drains the primary relationship of time, energy, and focus.”

Emotional cheating is also hard on the partner who remains faithful because the situation isn’t as cut and dry as physical cheating.

A case in point is a story posted on Reddit’s Relationship Advice subforum. In this story, a wife is bothered by her husband’s relationship with the babysitter, which he swears is platonic. However, he acts like it’s something more.

The story revolves around a 35-year-old woman who has been married to a 38-year-old man for 11 years and has 2 sons. The kids are sometimes watched by a 25-year-old woman who lives in an apartment up the street. The babysitter was friends with the husband’s brother many years ago, so they’ve known each other for quite some time.

“We always invite her over when we have parties or BBQs, she gets along well with everyone,” the wife wrote. But after a while, the babysitter and the husband became rather close.

hoodies, infidelity, emotional cheating

A woman in a hoodie.

via Alena Shekhovtcova/Pexels

The first questionable encounter:

“One night, she had come over to watch our sons when our normal babysitter pulled out last minute. … she had been swimming with the boys in our pool and, at one point, said something about being cold. I was going to tell her I would run upstairs and grab her one of my sweaters when my husband took off the hoodie he was wearing and gave it to her,” the wife said.

While giving her the hoodie seemed a little extra, what he did next felt like something a kid with a high school crush would do.

“After he gave it to her, she kept it for a few days, when she brought it back, it smelled overwhelmingly like her, I asked him if he wanted me to wash it and he said no,” the wife wrote.

The second questionable encounter:

“She came over for a graduation party for one of our sons. She got a phone call in the middle of it and left for about an hour. My husband went over to check on her and she came back but seemed really upset and said something was going on with her mom health-wise,” the wife wrote.

“Later on, almost everyone had left. I was putting the boys to bed, the two of them were talking by the fire pit on this swing we have, she still seemed really upset and he had his arm around her shoulders and was clearly trying to cheer her up. None of that bothered me. What bothers me is that when I came back outside, they were both asleep on the swing with her head on him,” she continued.

After the wife woke them up they seemed “genuinely surprised” but didn’t act like they “got caught.”

Third questionable encounter:

After the wife’s initial post, a commenter said she should wash the hoodie and see how he reacts. So, she did and he threw a fit. After it was washed, he threw it on the closet floor.

“I told him I didn't think he was going to cheat on me, but I didn't like his clothing smelling overpoweringly like another woman,” she wrote. He countered that it smelled like her fabric softener because she had washed the hoodie.

That man has a lot of emotional investment in that hoodie.

Later, when the hoodie was no longer on the floor, the wife asked if it needed to be rewashed. The husband responded, “Let go of the fu***n hoodie!” he then slammed the door and went to work without saying goodbye.

“I really didn't need to make such a big deal about the hoodie. I kind of feel like he's making a big deal about me washing it, right,” she wrote.

The vast majority of commenters on the post felt the wife wasn’t overreacting and should be concerned about her husband’s relationship with the babysitter. “I felt awkward reading what you wrote and don't think you're overreacting,” Walkingwalking123 wrote. “If it was a young male neighbor, would your husband have whipped off his hoodie and handed it over? Or fallen asleep against each other? If he would, then perhaps you're overreacting. Otherwise, not.”

hoodie, infidelity, laundry

A woman puts a sweatshirt in the laundry.

via RDNE Stock Project/Pexels

A male commenter made the situation simple. The husband is either an “idiot or a gaslighter.”

“The only thing I can say is that there is nothing more romantic than a girl sleeping on you. It's not something that just happens like, ‘Oh hey, we both just were so tired we fell asleep on each other!.’ No, it's actually a very conscious effort to go to sleep while someone is resting on you. It shows a very deep level of comfort and intimacy between two people,” The HairyBanana wrote. “I would say set boundaries but I can't imagine ever having to tell my [significant other] not to fall asleep holding somebody else. Just common sense, really. You're either married to an idiot or a gaslighter. Don't know which is worse, to be honest.”

When it comes to romantic relationships, hoodies are a lot more than a jacket. According to an article reviewed by dating coach John Keegan, when a guy gives a girl his hoodie, it means a lot. It’s a symbol of his chivalry, a display of affection and a way to show other people she is taken.

For women, the hoodies make them feel closer to the guy and they enjoy that it smells like him.

When you add up the 3 questionable scenarios, giving the girl the hoodie, falling asleep with her head on his shoulder and his obsession with not washing the hoodie, they make a good case that the wife should be wary of her husband’s relationship with the babysitter.

It’s a good thing that the woman ached out to the Reddit audience for some clarification because emotional cheating can be hard to detect. Getting some unbiased advice on the situation was probably a big help in sorting out her confusion.

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Public speaking expert shares the 3 'magic' phrases that instantly make you more likable

It's all about being genuinely open and curious.

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via Canva/Photos

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.

Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

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People on LinkedIn are inventing nonsense business idioms, and they're too good not to use

"This banana's got no peel to it."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture
Photo credit: Canva

Business idioms that you can totally use in your real workplace.

It seems that the higher up you ascend in your career, the more you grow to love a good business catchphrase, buzzword, or idiom. Working in an office will have you saying things like "let's kick this off," "let's circle back on this," and "let's not boil the ocean here" in no time.

Idioms, while they can get annoying when overused (especially in the workplace), do serve a helpful purpose. They're a sort of fun shorthand, conveying a lot of meaning in a few words. While idioms act as analogies or metaphors that give more context to a situation, they also come with a lot of history: when you hear one, you remember all the times you've heard it before or even used it yourself. It instantly contextualizes what's going on and quickly helps us understand what someone may be communicating.

However, run-of-the-mill workplace idioms have gotten a little stale, to the point that many of them have become meaningless cliches. We could all use some new ones, and luckily, folks on social media are chiming in with some ridiculous creations of their own.

It all started when an X user named Tomie shared what would go on to become a hugely viral post: "I've started saying nonsense phrases at work like 'that's neither cheese nor cheddar' just to see my coworkers nod seriously like they understand."

Tomie added in another post, "Like woah there, pause the pineapples."

The post received nearly 2 million views and hundreds of comments on X. Soon, it made its way to the professional crowd on LinkedIn, where people began building on Tomie's original suggestions.

Daniel Berk added a few of his own:

"Let's not microwave the lasagna on this one."

"We might be polishing the doorknob instead of opening the door."

"This feels like we're alphabetizing water."

"Let's not put racing stripes on a parked car."

"That's a lot of garnish for no entrée."

"We're measuring the shadow, not the object."


Noah Latner chimed in with:

"Let's not settle in before we buy the house."

"That lollipop isn't worth the lick."

"You've got to put the patty on the grill before it sizzles."

"This banana's got no peel to it."

"Don't juice a pickle and tell me it's matcha."

Sally Thomas writes, "One of my finest achievements was in a previous company where the manager was full of buzzwords. I got him to adopt 'It depends how you fold your napkin' as a favourite saying."

Jennifer Connelly suggested: "Let's sauce these nugs later!"

Cameron Gibbons said, "I'm not sure where it started, but one exec at Google said 'let's double click into that' and it spread like wildfire through the org."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "That banana's got no peel to it." Giphy

Liora Kern cooked up a few idioms that paid homage to different languages and cultures:

"Dutch version:
1. That's a lot of hagelslag on a very thin slice of bread.
2. It's a three bicycles beat one car type of thing.

Belgian version:
1. We're agreeing on the fries because agreeing on the sauces is harder.
2. We're arguing over the glass instead of the beer."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "We’re arguing over the glass instead of the beer." Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Here are a few more from the creative minds on X:

"The last nail is the rustiest one."

"Two claps and the goat's up the hill"

"Let's toss this idea into the piranha bin."

"I'm pulling the porcupine here."

"This is all bags and boxes."

"The proof is in the parmesan."

"There's a rock behind every bush."

"There's more to being a dog than sleeping under the porch."

The funniest part about these made-up, nonsense idioms is that they kind of make sense.

Some of the idioms brainstormed by random commenters are variations of existing catchphrases, or combinations of multiple different ones ("It's not exactly rocket surgery."). But many are complete gibberish, and yet our brains still seek out and manage to find some semblance of meaning in them.

YouTube English teacher Aly says that "corporate English" is like its own language. Speaking the secret code with confidence, and pretending to understand it even when you don't, are key to success. In fact, one recent study found that more than half of employees regularly "pretend" to be working. So if you've ever felt self-conscious because you were in over your head at work or didn't know what the higher-ups were talking about, rest assured there's a good chance they were faking it, too.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

One commenter on Tomie's original post summed it up perfectly: "Office culture accepts nonsense when said confidently and calmly."

Another added, "The only way to survive corporate America is to understand its 90% make believe."

Delivering a totally made-up, nonsense business idiom with full confidence is one sure way to make people perk up and take notice of how brilliant you are.

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79-year-old man publicly sings Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' to his dental hygienist and nails it

"Barry Manilow will be proud."

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.

Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

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Millennials are hilariously bonding over their '90s obsession with 'psychic' Sylvia Browne

"If Sylvia was on, I skipped school."

Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams, laughing, psychic, viral videos
Photo Credit: Canva, The Montel Williams Show

People laugh while scrolling their phone. Sylvia Browne looks concerned.

If you lived through the '90s and early aughts and happened to watch The Montel Williams Show or Larry King Live, you probably remember their "resident psychic," Sylvia Browne. With her flaxen blonde hair and very short bangs, Browne claimed to be a medium for "angels" and purported to be clairvoyant when audience members asked her questions.

Of course, it wasn't just Millennials watching. Many members of previous generations would, often secretly, enjoy her segments with abandon like a sci-fi zombie B-movie. It wasn't until we had a little hindsight that we could measure her extremely confident-sounding statements and understand that...many of them simply were not true.

Near the end of last year, people who grew up in this era began making compilations of some of Browne's most outrageous, inappropriate, and often laughably wrong predictions. The trend went so incredibly viral that it has picked up steam again, and these clips continue making the rounds.

In one montage of clips, we see person after person bravely stand up and ask Sylvia questions. Often they'll ask about someone who has gone missing. Browne's answers are curt and to the point. "He drowned" seems to be a big one. To one woman who asked about her father, Sylvia matter-of-factly states, "He's alive. He's in Florida."

A common question Montel often asked after Browne's declarations was, "Does that make sense?" Usually the answer was, "No, but thank you," as the audience member gingerly took their seat.

The best part of watching these clips continue to go viral is the communal joy it's bringing to the comment sections (not to mention the nostalgia and the jokes). One person writes that their life schedule was dependent on whether or not Browne was booked as a guest that day. "If Sylvia was on, I'd skip school."

psychic, Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams., Larry King, Mean Girls Amanda Seyfried in a scene from the movie Mean Girls. Giphy, Paramount Pictures

This person jokes after seeing the woman who was told her father has been in Florida for decades: "Her dad in Florida watching this: Darn it!"

Another acknowledges Browne's go-to answer. "Sylvia, I forgot my middle name…." "It drowned." "Okay, thank you."

And here's another spin on it: "5 years ago my father went missing while climbing Mount Everest I was wonde....." "He drowned in the Titanic." "Thank you."

Over on Threads, @Robbylernan posted quite a few Browne clips, claiming, "I went down a Sylvia Browne rabbit hole last night and I laughed my a-- off for an hour."

One person on the thread reminisces about their favorite Browne moment: "The best one was when she told that reporter that the girl in the picture was kidnapped and dead and the reporter said, 'That picture is me.' And she looked at the woman and said, 'You weren't kidnapped?' BRUHHH."

Note: Her predictions weren't all completely wrong. In fact, The Daily Mail recently shared a Browne prediction that went viral during the COVID-19 pandemic. Browne reportedly stated, "In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments."

That said, skeptics debunked her claims for years. In a piece for TV Insider, freelance entertainment Martin Holmes reminds readers of the time "Browne told Louwanna Miller her missing daughter, Amanda Berry, was 'not alive,' explaining to the distraught mother, 'Your daughter's not the kind who wouldn't call.'" Holmes adds, "Berry was found alive in 2013 after she escaped years of captivity."

In 2010, Skeptical Inquirer Magazine noted, "Despite her repeated claims to be more than 85 percent correct," a study reported that "Browne has not even been mostly correct in a single case."

Wrong or right, it's the wrongness that seems to bring the most delight to those who are dipping into the nostalgia. Even Saturday Night Live got in on the fun.

Amy Poehler spoofs Sylvia Browne on SNL. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC Universal

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