Couple admits they fight in front of their kids and encourage other parents to do the same
In their 'unpopular opinion," it can be a great way for kids to learn how to navigate conflict.

There's a difference between fighting and disagreeing.
Arguments are an inevitable part of parenting. And whether or not to let kids witness those disputes in an interesting conversation that we don't hear about very often.
When disagreements turn into full on fights, with name calling and yelling, it can be a very painful and stressful experience for the kid. But if handled well, it could be a chance to see how mom and dad can navigate through inevitable difficulties, instilling an example for the future.
Nika Diwa and her husband seem to share the latter stance, sharing in a now viral TikTok that they do “fight” in front of their kids, and in their “unpopular opinion” think other parents should do the same.
In the clip, it seems that Diwa and her husband are having a disagreement, but one that never results in any kind of abusive behavior, and instead seems to end on a fairly positive note. All while their child rests in her lap.
@nikadiwa Unpopular opinion but… 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏿♂️ #parenting #conflictresolution #teachingkids ♬ Little Things - Adrian Berenguer
“It’s important for kids to learn how to navigate healthy conflict,” Diwa writes. “We let them watch mom and dad disagree respectfully and work towards unity and resolution. This helps set them up for healthy conflict resolution as they grow up.”
And here’s where we get into a bit of discourse over semantics. Diwa’s video soon spurned comments arguing that what she and her husband actually showed was a disagreement, not a fight at all. Which folks generally concurred was the healthy option. But actual fighting would have been another story.
Others noted how even non-hostile arguments could still be triggering depending on the topic. One person wrote, “I think it depends. I have a lot of trauma from listening to my parents argue about finances.”
Still, many viewers noted how this was a refreshing take compared to how they grew up. “As some whose parents always tried to hide their arguments, this is SO wonderful. Healthy conflict resolution. It’s ok to disagree,” one person commented.
And what do experts think? In her contributing article for the Gottman Institute, Melissa Benaroya, MSW, LICSW, writes that indeed, arguing in front of your kid can actually be beneficial, depending on HOW the argument is handled.
“If arguments happen frequently or they are hostile, physical, aggressive, or include stonewalling, silent treatment, or insults, it can definitely be harmful to children,” she says. “Children who are exposed to this type of conflict will often become anxious, distressed, sad, angry, and depressed.”
Children learn by watching adults
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However, she notes that “children learn to manage conflict by observing how the adults in their life manage disagreements and strong emotions,” suggesting that if parents do develop good communication strategies, ones that focus on collaboration, empathy and perspective-taking, listening and validating feelings, that it can help kids understand how to emulate a similar behavior.
No parent is going to be perfect at all times. And perhaps seeing how to handle all those inevitable imperfections of adulthood with grace and compassion is one of the greatest gifts parents can pass down to children.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.