Business idioms that you can totally use in your real workplace.
It seems that the higher up you ascend in your career, the more you grow to love a good business catchphrase, buzzword, or idiom. Working in an office will have you saying things like "let's kick this off," "let's circle back on this," and "let's not boil the ocean here" in no time.
Idioms, while they can get annoying when overused (especially in the workplace), do serve a helpful purpose. They're a sort of fun shorthand, conveying a lot of meaning in a few words. While idioms act as analogies or metaphors that give more context to a situation, they also come with a lot of history: when you hear one, you remember all the times you've heard it before or even used it yourself. It instantly contextualizes what's going on and quickly helps us understand what someone may be communicating.
However, run-of-the-mill workplace idioms have gotten a little stale, to the point that many of them have become meaningless cliches. We could all use some new ones, and luckily, folks on social media are chiming in with some ridiculous creations of their own.
It all started when an X user named Tomie shared what would go on to become a hugely viral post: "I've started saying nonsense phrases at work like 'that's neither cheese nor cheddar' just to see my coworkers nod seriously like they understand."
Tomie added in another post, "Like woah there, pause the pineapples."
The post received nearly 2 million views and hundreds of comments on X. Soon, it made its way to the professional crowd on LinkedIn, where people began building on Tomie's original suggestions.
Daniel Berk added a few of his own:
"Let's not microwave the lasagna on this one."
"We might be polishing the doorknob instead of opening the door."
"This feels like we're alphabetizing water."
"Let's not put racing stripes on a parked car."
"That's a lot of garnish for no entrée."
"We're measuring the shadow, not the object."
Noah Latner chimed in with:
"Let's not settle in before we buy the house."
"That lollipop isn't worth the lick."
"You've got to put the patty on the grill before it sizzles."
"This banana's got no peel to it."
"Don't juice a pickle and tell me it's matcha."
Sally Thomas writes, "One of my finest achievements was in a previous company where the manager was full of buzzwords. I got him to adopt 'It depends how you fold your napkin' as a favourite saying."
Jennifer Connelly suggested: "Let's sauce these nugs later!"
Cameron Gibbons said, "I'm not sure where it started, but one exec at Google said 'let's double click into that' and it spread like wildfire through the org."
"That banana's got no peel to it." Giphy
Liora Kern cooked up a few idioms that paid homage to different languages and cultures:
"Dutch version:
1. That's a lot of hagelslag on a very thin slice of bread.
2. It's a three bicycles beat one car type of thing.
Belgian version:
1. We're agreeing on the fries because agreeing on the sauces is harder.
2. We're arguing over the glass instead of the beer."
"We’re arguing over the glass instead of the beer." Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
Here are a few more from the creative minds on X:
"The last nail is the rustiest one."
"Two claps and the goat's up the hill"
"Let's toss this idea into the piranha bin."
"I'm pulling the porcupine here."
"This is all bags and boxes."
"The proof is in the parmesan."
"There's a rock behind every bush."
"There's more to being a dog than sleeping under the porch."
The funniest part about these made-up, nonsense idioms is that they kind of make sense.
Some of the idioms brainstormed by random commenters are variations of existing catchphrases, or combinations of multiple different ones ("It's not exactly rocket surgery."). But many are complete gibberish, and yet our brains still seek out and manage to find some semblance of meaning in them.
YouTube English teacher Aly says that "corporate English" is like its own language. Speaking the secret code with confidence, and pretending to understand it even when you don't, are key to success. In fact, one recent study found that more than half of employees regularly "pretend" to be working. So if you've ever felt self-conscious because you were in over your head at work or didn't know what the higher-ups were talking about, rest assured there's a good chance they were faking it, too.
- YouTube www.youtube.com
One commenter on Tomie's original post summed it up perfectly: "Office culture accepts nonsense when said confidently and calmly."
Another added, "The only way to survive corporate America is to understand its 90% make believe."
Delivering a totally made-up, nonsense business idiom with full confidence is one sure way to make people perk up and take notice of how brilliant you are.
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Photo Credit: Canva, The Montel Williams Show
People laugh while scrolling their phone. Sylvia Browne looks concerned.
If you lived through the '90s and early aughts and happened to watch The Montel Williams Show or Larry King Live, you probably remember their "resident psychic," Sylvia Browne. With her flaxen blonde hair and very short bangs, Browne claimed to be a medium for "angels" and purported to be clairvoyant when audience members asked her questions.
Of course, it wasn't just Millennials watching. Many members of previous generations would, often secretly, enjoy her segments with abandon like a sci-fi zombie B-movie. It wasn't until we had a little hindsight that we could measure her extremely confident-sounding statements and understand that...many of them simply were not true.
Near the end of last year, people who grew up in this era began making compilations of some of Browne's most outrageous, inappropriate, and often laughably wrong predictions. The trend went so incredibly viral that it has picked up steam again, and these clips continue making the rounds.
In one montage of clips, we see person after person bravely stand up and ask Sylvia questions. Often they'll ask about someone who has gone missing. Browne's answers are curt and to the point. "He drowned" seems to be a big one. To one woman who asked about her father, Sylvia matter-of-factly states, "He's alive. He's in Florida."
A common question Montel often asked after Browne's declarations was, "Does that make sense?" Usually the answer was, "No, but thank you," as the audience member gingerly took their seat.
The best part of watching these clips continue to go viral is the communal joy it's bringing to the comment sections (not to mention the nostalgia and the jokes). One person writes that their life schedule was dependent on whether or not Browne was booked as a guest that day. "If Sylvia was on, I'd skip school."
Amanda Seyfried in a scene from the movie Mean Girls. Giphy, Paramount Pictures
This person jokes after seeing the woman who was told her father has been in Florida for decades: "Her dad in Florida watching this: Darn it!"
Another acknowledges Browne's go-to answer. "Sylvia, I forgot my middle name…." "It drowned." "Okay, thank you."
And here's another spin on it: "5 years ago my father went missing while climbing Mount Everest I was wonde....." "He drowned in the Titanic." "Thank you."
Over on Threads, @Robbylernan posted quite a few Browne clips, claiming, "I went down a Sylvia Browne rabbit hole last night and I laughed my a-- off for an hour."
One person on the thread reminisces about their favorite Browne moment: "The best one was when she told that reporter that the girl in the picture was kidnapped and dead and the reporter said, 'That picture is me.' And she looked at the woman and said, 'You weren't kidnapped?' BRUHHH."
Note: Her predictions weren't all completely wrong. In fact, The Daily Mail recently shared a Browne prediction that went viral during the COVID-19 pandemic. Browne reportedly stated, "In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments."
That said, skeptics debunked her claims for years. In a piece for TV Insider, freelance entertainment Martin Holmes reminds readers of the time "Browne told Louwanna Miller her missing daughter, Amanda Berry, was 'not alive,' explaining to the distraught mother, 'Your daughter's not the kind who wouldn't call.'" Holmes adds, "Berry was found alive in 2013 after she escaped years of captivity."
In 2010, Skeptical Inquirer Magazine noted, "Despite her repeated claims to be more than 85 percent correct," a study reported that "Browne has not even been mostly correct in a single case."
Wrong or right, it's the wrongness that seems to bring the most delight to those who are dipping into the nostalgia. Even Saturday Night Live got in on the fun.
Amy Poehler spoofs Sylvia Browne on SNL. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC Universal
Xennials' "hinge" position may make them better equipped to handle the current world.
Xennials are the micro-generation that nobody knows what to do with. Sometimes they're considered Gen X; other times, elder Millennials. Members of the micro-generation are also confused about where they belong. They're way too young and optimistic to be Gen X, but way too jaded and blunt to be Millennials. If you're part of this micro-generation, chances are you've felt like you belong to both generations.
Author Kristen Shelt explains that Xennials occupy a "hinge" position between two generations, allowing them to hold two timelines at once. It's not just the fact that Xennials are a micro-generation that gives them this ability; there are several micro-generations. What makes this micro-generation unique is the time frame in which its members were born: between 1977 and 1983.
Joyful moments shared over a vintage phone call.Photo credit: Canva
Shelt shares in a TikTok video:
"Xennials had a fully analog childhood. You rode your bike until the streetlights came on. You answered the phone without knowing who was calling. You waited a week for new episodes. You were raised in a world where boredom still existed, and then right as you entered adulthood, the digital world detonated. Email, cell phones, early internet culture, social media in its Wild West era. You went from zero connectivity to full immersion almost overnight."
The author goes on to explain that the split timeline in which Xennials came of age created a "very specific internal architecture." According to Shelt, this gives Xennials the independence and cynicism of Gen X, while also giving them the reform-minded energy and emotional intelligence of Millennials.
Retro computer setup in a vintage tech room.Photo credit: Canva
Shelt explains:
"You know how to detach when necessary, but you also know how to name your feelings without imploding. You can fix a printer and cry in therapy in the same afternoon, and that's the Xennial frequency. Your field is interesting because you grew up in a world that taught you survival, and you came of age in a world that demanded self-reflection, so you learned how to run two operating systems at once. Don't depend on anyone and build community, or you'll drown. Two very contradictory types of realities."
This split causes Xennials to feel out of place and may also help explain why researchers don't have a neat generational box for the micro-generation.
Shelt says this constant in-between state is Xennials' greatest strength:
"Xennials understand both collapse and creation. You watched the old systems crack, and you stepped into adulthood just as the pressure to fix them began. You carry X realism and Millennial idealism simultaneously. This makes you natural translators for the moment we're living in."
While some people disagree about the micro-generation's name and the pronunciation of Xennial, several TikTok commenters weighed in on how the world shifted as they entered adulthood:
"'Older than your peers but younger than your responsibilities' is so spot on. 82 here and at 43 my age still shocks me, in my head I'm younger. But yet I'm everyone's tech support both older and younger around me. I can write in cursive, type proficiently and write code. I also still feel like I'm trying to teach empathy and consideration to both my boomer parents and my Gen alpha kids. We have no real guidebook on parenting as well, because many of us are trying to break the mold but when you're raise in authoritative ways, it's hard to go against all you know. You are right though - I've always felt out of place."
"Many of us were also in high school when Columbine happened. (Class of '99) I watched the whole thing unfold on a TV my teacher wheeled into our classroom. We were the last generation to go to school without being afraid of a mass shooting, and then the first to experience that fear."
Focused work session at the laptop.Photo credit: Canva
"Witnessed the Challenger explosion in school n 9/11 as we entered adulthood. Owned a cassette Walkman, CD discman, MP3 player, iPods, n now smartphones. Played Oregon trail n had AOL account. Rode our bikes til the street lights came on n now doom scrolling."
"Born in 77. This is accurate because in both my personal and professional life I have come to be known as the person that can handle conflict most effectively. And this is because my x characteristics make me understand accountability and my millennial characteristics make me able to communicate it in a kind, empathetic way."