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Too much stuff causes stress. Here are 4 simple mantras to help you declutter for good.

These short sayings can clear the mental clutter that keeps us from getting rid of things.

man and woman in an attic full of stuff
MoMo Productions/Canva

We often hold onto things for sentimental reasons.

It's no secret that Americans on average have too much stuff. Yay, capitalism!

Seriously, though, most of us bring new things into our homes pretty regularly, and if we aren't purging regularly, they start to accumulate. We fill drawers, closets, bins, basements and garages with it, and then at some point realize we're swimming in stuff and need to declutter.

The problem is, as much as we may want to pare down and simplify, a lot of us are really bad at getting rid of things. Decluttering involves decision-making, and decision-making can be exhausting. There are also psychological and emotional reasons we hold onto things, and those mental hurdles are often what we need the most help overcoming.

So along with practical decluttering tips like having a garbage bag and a giveaway box with you as you go through different areas of your home, try using these four mantras to help clear the mental clutter that makes physical decluttering difficult.


1. "Stuff = stress"

There's plenty of research that shows clutter causes stress and anxiety, and it's pretty hard not to have clutter when you have too much stuff. Keeping the why of decluttering front and center can help keep you motivated as you start to purge.

Every item in your home costs you time and energy every time you encounter it. Moving the thing from one place to another, deciding where to put it, cleaning or dusting it, or even just having it take up space in your life costs you something mentally. Lots of small things add up to a large mental load, so ask yourself—Is this item worth what it's costing me?

Stuff = stress. Less stuff = less stress. Keep that simple, freeing truth top of mind as you declutter.

2. "Maybe means no"

We've all been there with something in our hand trying to decide whether to keep it.

This notebook might come in handy sometime…

Maybe I'll want to wear this dress one day…

But I might need that gadget in the future…

Nope, nope, nope. As soon as the words "might" or "maybe" come into your decision-making process, it's a sign to ditch the thing. "Maybe" or "might" means you don't need it right now, you aren't using it right now, and you don't know if you ever will.

If you keep things on the off chance that you might need them someday, you'll never get rid of anything. The reality is there are very few things that you won't be able to get in the future if you really need it. Your home is not a general store. And you are living in your home right now, not in the future.

When it comes to decluttering, maybe means no. Every time.

3. "Things aren't memories"

This is a tough one for a lot of people to swallow, but some of us hold onto way too many things for sentimental reasons because we tie them to memories. Souvenirs, playbills, concert tickets, wedding gifts, grandma's knick-knacks—so many things that make us go "Aww, remember when…" when we look at them, but here's the thing:

Things are things. Memories are memories. Things aren't memories. You can 100% still have the memories without keeping the things.

Things might trigger memories, but you can easily accomplish that by taking a photo of the thing that triggers the memory and getting rid of the thing itself. Make a "mementos" photo album for all those "but that reminds me of that happy thing" memory triggers and pass on the things themselves.

Of course, there may be some genuinely meaningful and valuable personal treasures that you truly love and want to hold onto. But most memory-associated items aren't that. They're just things. Keep the memories. Let the things go.

4. "Keep it flowing"

This is the main mantra to hold onto as you move forward. Once you've decluttered to a point where you feel light and free and good about what you have, it's time to think about how to maintain that sense of freedom. And the key to that maintenance is, "Keep it flowing."

Rather than seeing your home as a receptacle to inevitably get filled up, see it as a channel that things naturally flow in and out of. Look at it as a flowing river, not a stagnant pond. New things will always be coming into our lives, therefore old things need to go out.

The reason we end up with so much stuff is that we fail to recognize this flow. Some of us come from a deprivation mindset, so we are afraid to let things go even when new things come in. Some of us are influenced by the "more is more" mindset of consumer society, so we keep adding without subtracting to keep a balance.

In our modern world, things come and go. Keep that flow going on purpose whenever you bring something into the house, and you won't have to do another big declutter project again.

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.


"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

@brunchwithbabs

Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

great depression, the great depression, great depression recipes, great depression food, great depression recipe
Lewis Wickes Hine/Library of Congress, Dorothea Lange/Wikipedia

Recipes from the Great Depression to make today.

The Great Depression, which lasted from 1929-1939, caused economic turmoil worldwide. Families struggled to feed themselves, and went to extreme lengths to stretch food and utilize all available ingredients.

Known as the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their resourcefulness resulted in a number of creative (and delicious) recipes that remain relevant today. Home chefs and bakers shared their Great Depression recipes on Reddit that have been passed down and are still enjoyed today to help others get inventive and save money.


From soups and stews to cakes, these are 17 Great Depression recipes to try.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Soups, Stews and More

Beef and Noodles

"My grandmas go to: Bag of egg noodles 1 can of creamed corn 1 can Campbells chicken noodle soup 1 lb ground beef. Salt and pepper to taste. Brown ground beef, add all other ingredients, add enough water or light chicken stock to cover noodles if needed. Bring to boil, and reduce to a simmer for about 15 minutes, take off the heat and let it rest 10 minutes before serving with buttered white bread. I still make this to this day. My kids loved it too. Basically homemade Hamburger Helper." - -__Doc__-

Hoover Stew

Ingredients

1 box noodles
A can of tomatoes
1 package of hot dogs, or 1 can of sausage or meat
A can of corn, peas or beans
2-4 cups water

Instructions

"Mix all ingredients together in a pot until boiling. Then simmer for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are tender. If you have aromatics, onion and garlic would be a great addition. If not, the recipe is great as is." - Josuaross54

Zaprezna soup

"Depression soup... make a roux, add salt pepper and caraway seeds. Add water to make a thick soup texture. Use an egg or two mixed with flour and salt pepper and mix together to make dumplings.. drop into the soup to cook.. This was called zaprezna soup or depression soup. We ate it often in the 60's after my dad abandoned us. Money was short but this soup was good." - User Unknown

Chipped Beef On Toast

Ingredients

8 oz. dried beef jerky
2 tbsp butter or oil
4 tbsp flour
4 cups milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Sliced homemade bread, for serving

Instructions

"Add jerky and oil to a pan over medium heat. Cook until the meat softens, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in your flour and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add milk and bring to a low boil. Allow sauce to thicken for up to 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper if you have it. Serve over homemade bread, toasted if desired." - Josuaross54

Rivel Soup

"In Ohio…My mom would cook Rivel Soup when I was a kid in 80s and 90s. She still makes it. It’s milk based with flour dough balls in it. I hate it. Sometimes they would fry potatoes and put them in the soup." - Vegetable_Record_855

Potato Soup

Ingredients

4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced (or 2 cans of potatoes)
2 garlic cloves, chopped
One carrot, sliced
A can of meat, sausage, or hot dogs (optional)
3 cups water or stock
3 cups milk
Any herbs you have on-hand
Salt to taste

Instructions

"Slice all your potatoes, garlic, and carrots. Add to a soup pot with the meat, water, and milk. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, keeping the mix at a low simmer. Then, cook for 30 minutes until all veggies are tender. Add herbs and salt, if using. Serve hot." - Josuaross54

Tuna Fish Stew

"My mother's family always made tuna fish stew. It is celery, potatoes, canned tuna fish, milk, and hard boiled eggs. Sautee the celery until half way cooked, throw in some chopped potatoes and water. Cook until the potatoes are done. Thin the stew with some milk. Throw in chopped hard boil eggs. Salt and pepper to taste Serve over stale bread. It was cheap, quick, and really filling." - RoseNoire4

@foodwanderer

Great Depression Cooking Recipe #greatdepression #recipe #cooking #frugalmeals #cookingonabudget #nostalgia #friedpotatoes #hotdogs #foodwanderer #tastetest #SplashSummerVibe

Sides

Baked Beans

Ingredients

1 package soaked dried beans, or 2 cans of beans
One tomato, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp lard
Two tbsp molasses
One cup water

Instructions
"Soak your beans, if using dried, overnight and drain the liquid. Prepare your veggies by chopping. Omit any vegetable that you do not have on-hand. Add lard to a stock pot and cook your vegetables until tender. Add the beans, molasses, and water. Cook all together with a lid on for 2-3 hours or until the beans have your desired consistency. Add more water if needed.

Milk Potatoes

"Milk potatoes. Fry sliced potatoes with salt, pepper and a bit of onion until almost done. Pour milk over potatoes and simmer until potatoes are cooked through." - kms811•6y ago

Ash Cakes

"Ash cakes got their name because different renditions are cooked in the hot white ash of your campfire. These are only 3 ingredients but are filling and have a great texture.

Ingredients

½ cup cornmeal
1 cup meat stock or water
2 tbsp lard or grease

Instructions
Mix both ingredients together in a bowl and allow to sit overnight to hydrate the cornmeal. Pat into a bread pan and refrigerate or add to your cool storage before allowing to set up. The next day, slice into 1-inch slices and fry in melted lard. Serve hot and crispy." - Josuaross54

Sweets

Potato Donuts

"Potato donuts 🍩 from depression era cooking with Dylan Hollis." - BainbridgeBorn

Wacky Cake

"If you have interest in baking, make a wacky cake. It’s a chocolate cake that has no milk, butter, or eggs, because those items were scarce during the Depression, but it is so good! The recipe I linked has more steps, but I’ve known a lot of people to literally just dump and mix everything in the baking dish." - gwhite81218

@bdylanhollis

The cake without butter, eggs or milk #baking #vintage #cooking #cake

Rice Pudding

Ingredients

1 cup rice
2 cups milk
2 tbsp butter
3 tbsp honey, maple syrup, or molasses
Pinch of cinnamon

"Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook over low heat, about 20 minutes, stirring frequently. Taste for doneness and cook an additional 5 minutes, tasting until desired consistency. Serve warm." - Josuaross54

Tomato Soup Cake

"Tomato soup cake." - AxelCanin

Water Pie

"Water pie 😋😍." - AxelCanin

Mock Apple Pie

"There was a thing for 'apple' pie made with Ritz crackers my grandmother made some time ago (she was born 1901 so def Depression life).https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9545/mock-apple-pie/ That recipe looks more complicated than the one grandma made, but there are a number of recipes online for it, including one made by Ritz, on the box." - User Unknown

Hard Time Pudding

"Batter: 1 cup flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup raisins (Optional, I hate them)
3 tsp Baking powder
1/2 cup water
Syrup: 1 1/2 cup Brown sugar
1 TBSP. butter/marg.
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 - 2 cup water

Mix together flour, sugar, raisins, Baking powder, and water. Pour into a baking dish. In a sauce pan combine brown sugar, butter, water bring to boil then add vanilla and pour over the batter. Bake at 300 º for 1/2 hour." - MsBean18

Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.
True
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.


He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

“Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.


Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

Changing the journey for a new generation

Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

“My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

“Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

“For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

Writing a new ending

After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

“Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

Learning

Communications expert shares 3 simple tricks to stop oversharing during conversations

Say goodbye to staring at your ceiling at 3 a.m. thinking about something embarrassing you said weeks ago.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations

Communication expert says these tricks can help you stop oversharing

People do all sorts of things when they're nervous during a conversation. Some people fidget, others avoid eye contact, and others get red and blotchy on their chest and neck. Then, there are also those who share way too much information at inappropriate times due to stress, nervousness, or simply being neurodivergent. Oversharing often results in feelings of embarrassment, which can result in more nervousness in the moment.

A lot of oversharing is involuntary, leaving people wondering how they can save their sanity by not doing it to begin with. Jefferson Fisher, a communications expert, has the solution for people struggling with chronic oversharing. We've all been there, even if it's not something that happens frequently. There's a moment of awkward silence, and you attempt to fill it, only to tell a story better suited for a group of friends, not a work function.


After oversharing occurs, it's often quickly followed by its best friend—overthinking. Overthinking brings along anxiety, which can drag insomnia into the mix, becoming a party of unwanted guests. But Fisher claims a few of his tricks will stop unwanted words from falling out of your mouth in no time.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a moment in the sunlit park.Photo credit: Canva

In the brief video uploaded to YouTube, Fisher lists how to combat the inclination to overshare:

1. Balance the conversation

Estimate the amount of time it took for the person you're speaking with to share information with you, then try to match the time when you share. Fisher says, "If you are taking double the amount of time that somebody used, meaning your two to their one, well then the conversation is unbalanced, and you're probably talking too much."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Feeling the stress: A young woman holds her head in frustration.Photo credit: Canva

2. Set a mental word limit

Fisher says to avoid talking too much and subsequently oversharing, practice only using three to four sentences to say what needs to be said. This will help you avoid dominating the conversation or accidentally sharing too much information in the wrong setting. "If the other person wants to know more, well, they can ask," Fisher explains.

3. Watch for cues

"If you're saying too much, the other person is going to start looking disinterested," Fisher says. "They're going to look bored, they're going to have lack of contact, and that's a great place for you to just ask a question, any question. Because it forces you to stop talking."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a laugh over coffee at a cozy café.Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to handling the embarrassment or guilt that can come from oversharing, Happiful shares how to help alleviate the vulnerability hangover, writing, "In situations where you begin noticing that pit in your stomach of regret or embarrassment about oversharing, talk about it with the person you just opened up to. It could be as simple as acknowledging it, which can diffuse any tension you feel and resolve any awkwardness."

Using grounding techniques like breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or doing something physical can all help alleviate the feelings that come from oversharing. Writing about your feelings in a journal or even chatting with a friend who understands your oversharing struggle can go a long way when it comes to reducing anxiety from sharing too much information.

No matter the reason for oversharing, using the simple techniques above just might do the trick to reduce the habit.

french, paris, france, love, romance, Eiffel Tower
Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A couple embrace. The Eiffel Tower

Leave it to the French to have the most beautiful, sexy, and sometimes non-translatable terms and phrases of endearment.

Their association with romance makes it extra ironic that the French don't often say "I love you" (or "Je t'aime"). At least according to BBC Features Correspondent Sylvia Sabes in her 2021 article, "Why the French rarely say 'I love you."


Sabes suggests that words this important shouldn't just be thrown around: "The French don't say 'I love you' because they don't have a verb to express heartfelt sentiments for the people they care about. There is only the verb 'aimer,' which means both 'to like' and 'to love.' As a result, a French person is not exaggerating when they conjugate 'aimer' to explain their relationship to rugby, a warm baguette, or the smell of lilacs."

lilacs, flowers, love, amour, beauty Close up of lilac flowers. Photo by Olha Suntsova on Unsplash

For this reason, they don't dilute the words "I love you" as often as one might think. "Naturally, then, it feels trite and rather mundane to use the same word when describing intense feelings of love for one's newborn baby, a childhood friend, or a life partner."

She further notes that the French "show" their love. (In fact, even the very words "flattery," "chivalry," and "romantic" all stem from Old French words— flatterie, chevalerie, and romantique, respectively.)

And this includes finding specific wording to show their romantic love. From literary geniuses like Victor Hugo to everyday romantics, here are some French quotes sure to grab (the right person's) attention:

"Je t’envoie l’éternité dans une minute"

Translation: I’m sending you eternity in a minute.

For the complete context of the sentence, Victor Hugo wrote in an unpublished manuscript Lettre à Léonie Biard:
"Je n'ai qu'un instant. Je t'envoie l'éternité dans une minute, l'infini dans un mot, tout mon cœur dans : je t'aime."

Translation: "I only have a moment. I’m sending you eternity in a minute, infinity in a word, all my heart in: I love you."

This was written to Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet, a woman with whom Hugo had a scandalous affair. Once they were caught, she was arrested and sent to prison.

"Un seul être vous manque, et tout est dépeuplé"

Translation: "Only one person is missing, and the world is depopulated (empty.)"

On the subreddit r/French, someone asks for French "love quotes/sentences" for a letter they're writing for an anniversary. Regarding their boyfriend, they write in part, "Our 9th anniversary is coming next month and I want to write him a letter, but I want to include some cute and/or romantic quotes or sentences in French, no matter how silly or cheesy, so he can try to translate them and I watch him go happy puppy mode again hehe."

Many came through. One suggests this line from poet Alphonse de Lamartine—meaning, "without just one person, the world feels empty."


"Tu m'as manqué dans mes rêves"

Translation: I missed you in my dreams.

I learned this one in high school French class, and what I loved is our teacher taught us we could say it to anyone — romantic partners, puppies, and friends. (Probably best not to say it to our French teachers, however.)


"Je vous aime éperdument et je vous le dis et je vous le répète, mes mots l'expriment, mes baisers le prouvent, et quand j'ai fini… je recommence."

Translation: "I love you madly and I tell you so and I repeat it, my words express it, my kisses prove it, and when I'm done… I start over."

While this is a rather long one to memorize, it would be an excellent quote for a love letter. Victor Hugo's phrasing was so uniquely and devastatingly romantic, I had to quote him twice. Again, he wrote this in Lettre à Léonie Biard to his lover Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet.

"Tu me manques."

Translation: You miss me. (Or more precisely, you are missing from me.)

Again, I remember this expression from school. And the French-to-English translation can be a bit confusing and controversial.

There's an entire Reddit thread dedicated to this one sentence. The OP states, "So this phrase has always blown my mind. I understand that this expression means 'I miss you,' but that it literally translates to what is essentially 'You lack me.' Correct? If so, my first question is, why is this expression set up this way?"

Others explain the exact translation is more "You are missing from me" than "You miss me." One Redditor sums it up nicely: "The 'me' is an indirect object. Manquer is better understood here as 'to be missing' or 'lacking.' So it is more like 'you are missing/lacking/absent to me.' Your confusion is from approaching a French phrase using an English mindset."

In whatever mindset one might find themselves, these French phrases and quotes are sure to elevate the romance. At least, worth a shot!