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This kid thought his parents were breaking up after 20 years, but he was so wrong.
Sometimes, our favorite memories of growing up are the little things.
12.12.13
The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.
Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.
Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.
Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.
“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.
The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.
The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se
The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.
No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.
A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se
Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.
The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.
Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.
As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).
A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se
This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.
A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.
At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.
Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.
When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.
The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.
Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.
The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.
Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.
The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.
“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”
“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”
Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”
The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.
via Pixabay
After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.
"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.
"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.
Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.
Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.
While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).
This article originally appeared last year.
"Hit me hard, sitting in the dark, kids are sleep and I can't stop crying, I am just a mum."
When you become a mom it can sometimes feel as if you've lost your identity. Suddenly everything is about the baby when just a short 10 months prior your main concern was if you'd have time after work to grab happy hour $2 wings before it was over. There was variety to your day and adult conversations came with ease. Your life can feel like two different timelines, broken up into before motherhood and after, though you're still very much the same person.
Of course there are joys to motherhood, but there can also be a level of under appreciation or grief over your previous life. Audrey and Nathan are parents to a young daughter and the pair have taken to singing songs that they've written in the bathroom, presumably while their little one is asleep. Audrey does most of the singing while Nathan plays his acoustic guitar.
While to someone who isn't a singer it may seem weird for them to record music in the bathroom instead of a more roomy area of the house, but bathrooms have great acoustics. Even Christina Aguilera recorded her audition for the Mulan soundtrack in the bathroom, and that catapulted her career, so the bathroom recording sessions make sense. But it wasn't the bathroom that caught people's eye, it was the talent and lyrics to one of their most recent songs.
schitts creek crying GIF by CBCGiphy
The duo released, "Just a Mom" and opened a floodgate of tears from moms online feeling seen by the reality of the lyrics. Audrey's voice is soft but full of richness while her husband strums along behind her. The first lines just go over the daily routine of a mom, but in the end it reiterates the reality that some people will only see you as "just a mom."
"I filled the dishwasher, then I got the baby out of bed. I made the breakfast and got us dressed before we left. Went on a walk downtown cause I've been worried about my looks, she fell asleep when we got home. I organized all of her books. It's just another day on this little island that we made," Audrey sings before continuing with the long list of things many moms do, including making food everyone is going to say they hate.
The lyrics, the melody, the soothing sound of Audrey's voice are a perfect combination to elicit emotion from listeners who understand the struggle. The video has been listened to over 450k times on TikTok and over 2 million on Instagram, both comment sections are filed with moms who relate to the young mom's song.
"Some may say that it's life. Everyone has to get up and get dressed and make food etc. But being a mom is different. It's the mental load you carry keeping another human or two or three or more alive and happy while also trying to keep yourself afloat. It's hard but the best hardest job in the world.," one mom says.
"In the clurb, we all fam… and sobbing. Uncontrollably sobbing," another writes.
"I think what hurt most was when I realized my friends and family started seeing me as “just a mom” instead of my self," a commenter shares.
Another mom chimes in, "Wow this, I mean could there be a more perfect song to describe how invisible it feels to be a Mom, really any Mom working or not, but especially one that stays at home. Thank you for making and sharing this beautiful song."
Happy Tears Cry GIF by Farmer Wants A WifeGiphy
While the song was aimed at moms, it did reach a few dads, causing one to vow to step up more in the house after hearing the lyrics. No one is just anything. Moms have interests, hobbies, and dreams but so often those parts of themselves feel further away as they chip away at the daily mental load. So if you have a new mom in your life, be sure to continue to see her for who she is outside of motherhood, try to recognize the load she carries and send her this song, she may need to hear it.
They're funny because they're true.
Brian Gordon is a cartoonist. He's also a dad, which means he's got plenty of inspiration for the parenting comics he creates for his website, Fowl Language (not all of which actually feature profanity). He covers many topics, but it's his hilarious parenting comics that are resonating with parents everywhere.
"My comics are largely autobiographical," Gordon tells me. "I've got two kids who are 4 and 7, and often, what I'm writing happened as recently as that very same day."
Let's get started with his favorite, "Welcome to Parenting," which Gordon says sums up his comics pretty well. "Parenting can be such tedious drudgery," he says, "but if it wasn't also so incredibly rewarding there wouldn't be nearly so many people on the planet."
Truth.
I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.
“Welcome to parenting."
via Fowl Language
All comics are shared here with Gordon's express permission. These comics are all posted on his website, in addition to his Facebook page. You can also find a "bonus" comic that goes with each one by clicking the "bonus" link. Original. Bonus.
Perception shifts.
via Fowl Language
There's no parenting advice, no judgment, just some humor about the common day-to-day realities that we all share.
When I ask him about the worst parenting advice he's ever received, Gordon relays this anecdote:
"I remember being an absolute sleep-deprived wreck, sitting outside a sandwich shop, wolfing down my lunch quickly beside my 1-month-old son, who was briefly resting his lungs between screaming fits.
A rather nosy woman walked up to me and said, all smugly, 'You should enjoy this time while they're easy.' It was the exact worst thing anyone could have said to me in that moment and I just wanted to curl up on the sidewalk and cry."
Who hasn't been on the receiving end of totally unneeded and unwanted advice? That's why Gordon's comics are so welcome: They offer up a space for us to all laugh about the common experiences we parents share.
Here's to Gordon for helping us chuckle (through the tears).
This article originally appeared eight years ago.
"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."
Playing with the contrasts between generations has become a modern pastime, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. Generation gaps have always existed, of course, but the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, sometimes creating challenges, but often resulting in hilarity.
For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.
And now, comedian Jake Lambert has compared how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.
"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.
"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he went on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."
"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continued. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."
"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concluded. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."
People felt alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."
"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"
"Described this millennial to a T."
"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"
"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"
"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"
"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."
"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"
"The Gen Z angle omg 😂😂"
Some people didn't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert nailed the generational generalities across the board—and did so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.
You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.
This article originally appeared in July.
Birthday spankings, school paddlings and more.
How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.
In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.
If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.
Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.
"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."
"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."
"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."
"Kids were basically community property."
Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.
"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."
"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."
"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."
"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."
"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."
"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."
Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.
"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."
"And a pinch to grow an inch."
"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."
"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"
"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"
"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"
School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so any names for this woefully outdated practice.
"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."
"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."
"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."
"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."
"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."
It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.
"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."
"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."
"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."
"Smoking in class at college."
"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.
Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."
"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."
Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.
"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."
"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."
" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."
"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."
"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."
Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.
"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."
"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."
"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"
"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."
"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."
People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.
You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.
This article originally appeared in September.