This guy's response to his friends pressuring him to date is on point.
Love being single? Don't let anyone talk you out of it.
When it comes to romance, I've been through just about every page in the book.
I've stayed in happy, long-term cohabiting partnerships that lasted years. I've had summer flings, one-night hookups, and long periods of serene solitude.
Each one of these experiences has been fun, fulfilling, and meaningful — solitude included.
When I say “solitude,” I don’t necessarily mean turning off my phone and escaping to a cottage in the mountains — though I’ve done that, too, and it can be wonderfully refreshing.
Photo via iStock.
What I’m talking about here is the simple choice to live a life free of romantic encumbrances, for as long as you want.
Everything in our culture screams out against singlehood, and it can be really frustrating.
Before we’re even old enough to understand what romantic love is, we’re bombarded with the idea that everyone has a soul mate just waiting to be discovered. Even as our friends reassure us that it’s important to be a healthy, self-contained person on one’s own, it’s never long before they’re asking: “So ... are you seeing anyone? What about that one guy or girl?”
We can’t avoid the stereotypes: the “crazy cat lady,” the “40-year-old virgin,” hinting that we can never be truly happy without That Special Someone to complete us.
And that’s just the pressure on the long-term romance level, too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten incredulous looks from certain male friends when I say I have no interest in grinding up on that cute girl across the club. Yes, I can see she’s attractive. If I met her at a party, I might ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. We might hit it off. We might have great sexual chemistry and fall totally in love and move in together. Or we might not.
Photo via iStock.
But none of that makes a lick of difference to me right now because at this moment I am here to get loose on the floor — so leave me alone and let me dance.
Don’t get me wrong. Dates can be fun sometimes. But right now, I don’t want to spend 20 hours a week micromanaging my personal brand on dating websites.
I already have a full-time job. Managing a dating profile feels like tweaking marketing copy and handling a brand’s social media conversations (which is pretty much exactly what it is). You know what I’d rather spend my free time doing? Almost literally anything else.
I don’t want to meet hot, sexy singles in my area. I don’t want to booty-call a complete stranger. I don’t want to have lame hookup sex where the communication is terrible and we keep trying and failing to get the rhythm right, and then afterward we talk awkwardly only to realize we don’t have any interest in each other as human beings.
If that’s what you love, then more power to you. I really mean that. It’s your world, baby.
And for all I know, tomorrow I might make eye contact with a stranger on the street, get swept completely off my feet, and return to the Couple Zone full time. It’s not likely, but hey, quantum physics tells us there’s a theoretical possibility of anything happening at any time. I’m always open to new experiences.
But if you DON’T want to be in a relationship right now, then know that someone else is on your team.
Be proud of that choice! Own it. It’s yours.
Photo via iStock.
If you don't feel like having a one-night stand, don't. If you don’t feel like making a move on that cute guy or girl in the club, don’t. If you don’t want to spend time filling out a dating profile and swiping left and right for hour after hour — you guessed it: don’t. And be proud that you didn’t.
Don’t let your friends, or your culture, or anyone else tell you what you want. You’re the only person who knows. And if what you truly want is to be single right now, that’s damn awesome.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."