Jim Obergefell fought all the way to the Supreme Court to be listed on his husband's death certificate. He won.
Jim Obergefell. Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.
Now, thanks to a unanimous city council vote in his hometown, the couple will be listed together, forever, on the street corner where they lived.
On June 21, 2017, Cincinnati renamed the block of Mercer Street "John Arthur and Jim Obergefell Way" two years after Obergefell's successful suit made marriage equality the law of the land.
"I still struggle when people call me a hero, an icon," Obergefell told WLWT5 at the naming ceremony. "I don't feel that way. I just feel like someone who loved my husband and fought for him and fought to live up to my promises."
Obergefell and Arthur were forced to take extraordinary measures to marry in 2013, since Ohio did not recognize same-sex marriage at the time.
The couple chartered a small plane that could accommodate Arthur, who was suffering from ALS, and provide for his medical needs.
The pair exchanged vows on the tarmac in Baltimore before flying home 10 minutes later.
Private planes park at Baltimore's airport. Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images.
By taking his case all the way to the Supreme Court and winning, Obergefell helped transform marriage equality from a cultural lightning rod to a virtual non-issue.
In the year following the ruling, same-sex marriages spiked 33% to include nearly 1 in 10 LGBTQ adults, a total of approximately 1 million couples.
Meanwhile, support for marriage equality has grown steadily after the ruling, following a brief dip. Over 60% of Americans now belief same-sex couples should be allowed to marry, according to a Pew Research report.
Yesterday's high court decisions, however, demonstrate that the fight for full equality continues.
Citing Obergefell, the Court ruled that Arkansas must list same-sex parents on their child's birth certificate, but also announced plans to hear a case involving a Colorado bakery owner who refused to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding on First Amendment grounds.
An anti-gay marriage protestor in front of the Supreme Court in 2015. Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.
A ruling for the plaintiff could open the door for businesses with religious proprietors to discriminate against LGBTQ customers.
Meanwhile, anti-trans "bathroom bills" continue to make their way through legislatures in 16 states. Efforts to repeal North Carolina's HB2 led to a "compromise" bill which limits local efforts to pass trans-inclusive policies.
For Obergefell, the most rewarding aspect of his visibility is hearing how his struggle to acknowledge John has inspired others.
"The best thing possible is when people recognize me and stop me to tell me a story. To thank me. To hug me." he told WLWT5.
To those whose lives were touched by the Supreme Court ruling, a small city corner must seem a well-deserved honor for a man and the husband he fought to recognize. Meanwhile, the struggle he helped lead goes on.
Here's to many more streets named for many more heroes and icons in the future.
Obergefell marches in San Francisco's Pride Parade in 2015. Photo by Max Whittaker/Getty Images.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.