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The unexpected reason why this dad is looking forward to life after raising kids.

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Whirlpool Congrats Parents

Every spring, Dan Berman and his son Matan had a tradition: They would travel to the coast of Florida for the major league spring training games.

The training games were an especially fun trip, as fans could get up close and personal with their favorite players. Dan and Matan also love traveling together, and the games were a perfect excuse to drive along the coast.

One year, however, things didn’t exactly go as planned.


The Braves, Matan’s favorite team, had started requiring people to pay money to talk with the players.

“He was incensed by this,” says Dan. “He was into the spiritual side of baseball. [He believed] that everyone should have access.”

So, rather than give up on talking to his favorite player Eddie Pérez, Matan stubbornly sat in the bullpen for an hour, watching the pitchers and catchers warming up. And when Pérez came out, Matan started yelling, trying to get his attention, and asking him to throw a ball his way. To Dan and Matan’s surprise, it worked: Pérez signed one and threw it right to a beaming Matan.

In that moment, Dan could not have been prouder. Seeing his son’s fearless determination, even at just 12 years old, offered him a glimpse into the adult Matan would one day be. He was someone who believed that no one should be left out, rules be damned — not in baseball, and not in life. It was moments like these, thought Dan, that made being a parent so special.

But parenting isn’t just about these wonderful experiences. It’s hard work, especially when you’re a dad to three rambunctious boys.

They hadn’t even necessarily planned on having three kids, but after the second, Dan’s wife wanted a girl, so they decided to have one more. Of course, they wound up with another boy.

With three energetic boys now running around the house, it could get overwhelming, Dan says. “There is always so much to do around a house with three boys that those parts of our history are almost a blur.” The laundry, the cooking, the dishes, the late night homework assignments — it may come with the territory of being a parent, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Even getting the boys to help mow the lawn was a challenge in itself. “I [had to] pull the lawn mower out, fill it with gas and start it to get their attention,” Dan jokes.

But it was important to Dan that the boys help around the house, and that included helping him with the laundry when they were old enough.

"When we give our kids everything, teaching them the basics in life, like doing laundry, mowing the lawn, seem like such simple things," he says. "But these lessons may be more impactful than of the organized group activities they participated in as kids."

Parenting requires sacrifices, too — Dan loves to cook, but he didn’t have much time for it as a Dad. “I didn't do that much cooking when the kids were younger other than unhealthy kid fare.” The meals that are fun to cook for an aspiring home chef aren't necessarily what a kid wants to eat — especially compared to macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and other kid classics.

That said, there was one thing he could make that they’d eat: eggs. “I am the egg specialist in the house [though],” he says. “I can make an egg any possible way a young boy could want it.”

Finding calm in the center of that chaos was one of the big challenges of parenting, and he didn’t always get it right. But no matter the challenge — whether it was a picky eater or an algebra assignment — Dan always found a way to make it work.

Image via Whirlpool

This May, Matan will finally don a cap and gown and walk across the stage to get his high school diploma. Dan, along with hundreds of other proud parents, reminded once more of the determination that brought them there, the sacrifices they made along the way, and the young adults their kids have grown into.

This will be a proud moment for Dan, but also bittersweet, as both begin a new chapter — Matan is headed for a gap year abroad in Israel, and Dan will be left with an empty nest.

Of course, this change comes with challenges, but Dan’s excited to focus on who he’d like to become.

“I’m ready. I do have mixed emotions,” Dan says. “I’ll be sad and I’ll have tears, but I’m ready for the next stage of life.”

While “empty nest syndrome” isn’t a clinical diagnosis, a last child leaving home can still have a mental health impact, like any major life event. An empty nest can sometimes leave parents feeling lonely or anxious. It can even feel like they’re grieving a loss.

But Dan knows the best way to prepare for a transition like this is to just dive right in.

His advice? “Start to prepare by changing routines [and] trying to find different ways to fulfill your life,” he explains. “I’ve always had other interests! I exercise a lot, I love to cook, I like to go mountain biking and things like that. I plan to just do more of it.” (And now, of course, Dan will get to be more than just an “egg specialist,” cooking the meals that he enjoys most.)

Therapist Jasmine Banks agrees, noting that empty nest transitions can be “really powerful moments of transformation.”

There are plenty of ways to encourage that kind of transformation, too. Whether it’s reconnecting with a spouse, or discovering a new passion, parents can turn their grief into motivation to lead more independent, fulfilling lives.

Many parents view caregiving as an important part of their identity — but an empty nest allows them to concentrate on who they are apart from what they do for their kids. “Use some of that freed space to reflect on [your own] needs and wellbeing,” Banks explains.

Transitions like high school graduation can also be the perfect time for kids to celebrate everything their parents do.

Even the little things — like getting dinner on the table, scrubbing stubborn grass stains out of that baseball jersey, or helping with algebra homework — all had an important part to play in getting grads in the cap and gown, though they can sometimes go unrecognized. While graduation is a rite of passage for teens, in many ways, it’s one for parents, too.

That’s why Whirlpool has created "Congrats, parents" as part of its Every day, care® campaign. By sharing meaningful, uplifting messages for parents of the class of ‘18, they’re celebrating the parents whose work often goes unappreciated:

Congrats parents and grads!

These dedicated parents deserve as many congratulations as their graduating students.

Posted by Upworthy on Tuesday, May 8, 2018

“It’s one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. [And] it never, ever, ever goes according to plan,” Dan laughs. “[Matan is] a wonderful, wonderful kid with challenging 18-year-old tendencies. I don’t have any doubt that he’s going to be a success in life.”

While walking across that stage will be an unforgettable moment for the graduating class of 2018, it’s no less momentous for the parents who supported them along the way. And the chapter ahead can be filled with exciting new adventures for both of them.

Health

4 simple hacks to help you meet your healthy eating goals

Trying to eat healthier? Try these 4 totally doable tricks.

Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Most of us want to eat healthier but need some help to make it happen.

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When it comes to choosing what to eat, we live in a uniquely challenging era. Never before have humans known more about nutrition and how to eat for optimal health, and yet we’ve never been more surrounded by distractions and temptations that derail us from making healthy choices.

Some people might be able to decide “I’m going to eat healthier!” and do so without any problem, but those folks are unicorns. Most of us know what we should do, but need a little help making it happen—like some simple hacks, tips and tricks for avoiding pitfalls on the road to healthier eating.

While recognizing that what works for one person may not work for another, here are some helpful habits and approaches that might help you move closer to your healthy eating goals.

man pulling chip out of a chip bagOur mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

Goal: Snack on less junk food

Tip: Focus your willpower on the grocery store, not your home

Willpower is a limited commodity for most of us, and it is no match for a bag of potato chips sitting on top of the fridge. It’s just a fact. Channeling your willpower at the grocery store can save you from having to fight that battle at home. If you don’t bring chips into your house in the first place, you’ll find it a lot easier to reach for something healthier.

The key to successful shopping trips is to always go to the store with a specific list and a full stomach—you’ll feel much less tempted to buy the junky snack foods if you’re already satiated. Also, finding healthier alternatives that will still satisfy your cravings for salty or crunchy, or fatty foods helps. Sugar snap peas have a surprisingly satisfying crunch, apples and nut butter hit that sweet-and-salty craving, etc.

slice of cakeYou can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by Caitlyn de Wild on Unsplash

Goal: Eat less sugar

Tip: Instead of “deprive,” think “delay” or “decrease and delight”

Sugar is a tricky one. Some people find it easier to cut out added sugars altogether, but that can create an all-or-nothing mindset that all too often results in “all.” Eating more whole foods and less processed foods can help us cut out a lot of ancillary sugar, but we still live in a world with birthday cakes and dessert courses.

One approach to dessert temptation is to delay instead of deprive. Tell yourself you can have any sweet you want…tomorrow. This mental trick flips the “I’ll just indulge today and start eating healthier tomorrow” idea on its head. It’s a lot easier to resist something you know you can have tomorrow than to say no to something you think you’ll never get to have again.

Another approach when you really want to enjoy a dessert at that moment is to decrease the amount and really truly savor it. Eat each bite slowly, delighting in the full taste and satisfaction of it. As soon as that delight starts to diminish, even a little, stop eating. You’ve gotten what you wanted out of it. You don’t have to finish it. (After all, you can always have more tomorrow!)

colorful fresh food on a plateA naturally colorful meal is a healthy meal.Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Goal: Eat healthier meals

Tip: Focus on fresh foods and plan meals ahead of time

Meal planning is easier than ever before. The internet is filled with countless tools—everything from recipes to shopping lists to meal planning apps—and it’s as awesome as it is overwhelming.

Planning ahead takes the guesswork and decision fatigue out of cooking, preventing the inevitable “Let’s just order a pizza.” You can have a repeating 3-week or 4-week menu of your favorite meals so you never have to think about what you’re going to eat, or you can meal plan once a week to try new recipes and keep things fresh.

It might help to designate one day a week to “shop and chop”—getting and prepping the ingredients for the week’s meals so they’re ready to go in your fridge or freezer.

woman holding blueberries in her handsOrganic foods are better for the Earth and for us.Photo by andrew welch on Unsplash

Goal: Eat more organic/humanely raised food

Tip: Utilize the “dirty dozen” and “clean 15” lists to prioritize

Many people choose organic because they want to avoid pesticides and other potentially harmful chemicals. Organic food is also better for the planet, and according to the Mayo Clinic, studies have shown that organic produce is higher in certain nutrients.

Most people don’t buy everything organic, but there are some foods that should take priority over others. Each year, researchers from the Environmental Working Group (EWG) analyze thousands of samples of dozens of fruits and vegetables. From this data, they create a list of the “Dirty Dozen” and “Clean 15” fruits and vegetables, indicating what produce has the most and least pesticide residue. These lists give people a good place to start focusing their transition to more organic foods.

To make organic eating even simpler, you can shop O Organics® at your local Albertsons or Safeway stores. The O Organics brand offers a wide range of affordable USDA-certified organic products in every aisle. If you’re focusing on fresh foods, O Organics produce is always grown without synthetic pesticides, is farmed to conserve biodiversity, and is always non-GMO. All animal-based O Organics products are certified humane as well. Even switching part of your grocery list to organic can make a positive impact on the planet and the people you feed.

Healthy eating habits don’t have to be all or nothing, and they don’t have to be complicated. A few simple mindset changes at home and habit changes at the grocery store can make a big difference.

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