+
More

Tempted to pull out your 'peen' in public? Ask these 4 questions first.

If you’re reading this, congratulations! Your hard work and dedication have paid off, and you’ve finally made it to the top of your respective field. You set a goal, you put your mind to it, and here you are, ready to take on anything that comes your way. Here’s to many years of continued success.

With that in mind, a quick reminder before we continue:

Nobody wants to see your dick.


Seriously. Nobody.

Is this a sweeping generalization? Sure. In fact, there’s probably somebody out there in this crazy world who would enjoy access to your penis from time to time (although probably as more of a means to an end than actually sitting back and admiring it like it's a Renoir).

But in this particular context, with regards to the position of power that you now occupy, it’s in your best interest (as well as that of literally everyone who works with you) to operate under the assumption that nobody in the whole wide world wants to see your stupid dick.

You may not have noticed during your climb to the top, but your dynamic with others in your field has undergone a significant change. You may feel like the Zack Morris of your industry, but you’re actually Mr. Belding  —  keep that in mind at all times.

Whether you’re an accountant, television host, or stand-up comedian, you’re now in a tremendous position of power, and to paraphrase the immortal saying, with great power comes great responsibility not to pull your dick out whenever you freaking feel like it.

Oh, and just because we're talking about powerful dudes here doesn't mean that men with less authority get a pass. No matter who you are or what position you hold, no one wants to see your dick ever at all. Just keep that simple advice in mind and you’ll be well on your way!

Here's a handy Q & A to briefly recap what we’ve just discussed:

Q: I’d like to have sex with my coworker, but she’s not showing me the same level of interest. Should I pull out my dick, sweeten the deal a bit?

A: No, you should definitely not do that. Pulling out one’s penis without any sort of encouragement is not only a deal-breaker, but it has also literally never been a deal-maker. Nobody has ever been glad they saw someone’s penis in hindsight.

“I had no interest in him whatsoever, but when he got me alone, locked the door, and pulled his penis out, I was like ‘Wow, that looks great  —  let’s do this’” is a statement that has never been uttered in the history of humanity. Yours will not be the penis that ends that streak.

Q: I just told a joke referencing a noteworthy television character from the '90s. An intern laughed and said that I was hilarious. Time to pull my dick out?

A: First of all, congrats on the joke. Second, no, it is not time to pull your dick out. Laughing at a joke you told, in and of itself, is not a sign that someone you work with wants to see your penis. Do not assume that it is.

Q: My new position comes with my very own personal assistant. When do I show her my dick? Immediately?

A: How about never? Maybe just, you know, never show them your dick? Yeah, let’s go with never.

Q: What if I don’t want her to touch it, just sit there and watch me touch it?

A: Well, that’s different. Just kidding, it’s actually not different at all. The answer is still never, because nobody wants to see your dick.

This story originally appeared on Medium and is printed here with permission.

Health

Relationship expert shares her advice on how to 'stop an argument in its tracks'

She has the perfect question to ask once your partner gets defensive.

Therapist Lauren Consul has one trick to stop arguments before they begin.

Arguments start to take off when one partner begins to get defensive. So, therapist Lauren Consul shared her relationship-saving tip to "stop an argument in its tracks" when one partner goes into self-preservation mode.

Lauren Consul is a couples and sex therapist who’s developed a following of nearly 160,000 people on TikTok and has received over 5.4 million likes. She is an infidelity expert and hosts retreats to help people "survive and thrive" after one partner has strayed.

Keep ReadingShow less

Becca Moore and Raul Torres having margaritas.

Becca Moore is a popular TikToker with over 800,000 followers who's known for her funny, laid-back takes on dating. Like any influencer-type she was at the Coachella music and arts festival in Indio, California recently. While she was at Coachella, she was robbed of her phone, rental car keys and wallet.

“I went to Coachella this weekend and I thought this guy was kinda hitting on me but then he just robbed me,” Becca says at the beginning of her three-minute TikTok video with over 3 million views. After the festival, she was left with no ride, money, or means to get in contact with friends and family. She was stranded in the desert.

Becca’s friend’s hotel called her an Uber so she could get to a local store to buy a new phone. The driver she was incredibly lucky to be connected with was a lot more than a guy with a car in a time of need, he was a guardian angel named Raul Torres from Fresno, California, six hours north of Indio.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Owner of plus-size dress shop gifts $700 prom dress to 'shy' teen after watching her light up

Creating moments like these is why she opened her store in the first place.

@juicybodygoddess/TikTok

Elyse Monroe found the perfect dress, then found out it costs nothing.

Adolescence is a harrowing time for body image and self-esteem all around, but few milestones are as universally daunting as finding a prom dress. Whether it’s due to budget constraints, not being able to find a dress that fits, or both, what should be a fun event is often viscerally dreaded.

This was certainly the case for Summer Lucille. Lucille told Today.com that growing up, “if you weren’t skinny, there weren’t many options, and it was devastating for me because I’ve always loved fashion.”

She recalled, “I went to my prom looking like a church lady in a suit dress with a jacket because it was the only thing that fit. It was a very sad period in my life.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

44 years ago he became her protector after a terrible act. Today, they've been reunited in love.

Betsy and Irv are finally getting the happy ending they deserve. Together.

It’s pretty safe to say that everyone loves a good love story.

There’s a whole genre of music and movies dedicated to the idea of someone being swept off of their feet after circumstances tried to keep them from their true love. Romance novels could single handedly keep public libraries and bookstores afloat. Everyone loves "love" and the story of Betsy and Irv just takes the cake. Betsy Sailor attended Penn State University as a business major, which was almost unheard of in 1978 and Irv Pankey attended the university while playing football. The pair’s paths never crossed, until an unfortunate incident bonded the two forever.

Keep ReadingShow less
@SopheAlice/TikTok

Best way to travel, really.

As they say, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”

This old adage was brought to life in a whole new way after two friends who thought they booked tickets to Budapest, Hungary, instead found themselves heading to Bucharest, Romania.

Just a minor 500-mile difference, but who’s counting?

TikToker @SophAlice posted a video of the pair realizing their mix-up, which went viral and set them off on an impromptu adventure based entirely on the comments they received.
Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

Keep ReadingShow less