What if what you thought was pure anger turned out to be an entirely different emotion that could actually help you? Michael Hunter, a popular online creator who has studied Taoist philosophy, says that this is often the case. He has specific tips for spotting it and course-correcting.
In a video posted to his social media pages, Hunter shares what he calls the “cheat code if someone pisses you off.” He explains why it happens and how the body might misinterpret it. He then shares an exact playbook to turn it around.
Anger is often code for something else
Hunter makes a big claim off the bat about the cheat code. “It’s gonna free up all that energy you’re just using to be pissed off,” he says. He continues, “Your anger, it’s a cover for vulnerability. It’s totally natural. We all do it. We feel vulnerable and anxious, and then we put anger on top of that to make ourselves feel safe. But the problem is, then you walk around being pissed off all the time.”
The good news is there’s a way to fix it. Hunter reveals, “So here’s the fix: You get anxious. Fine. Everybody does. The trick isn’t to shove it down or pretend it’s not there or cover it with anger so you feel temporarily strong. The trick is to notice that vulnerable part of you and to say, out loud with your mouth, ‘Oh, a part of me is anxious right now.’ And that one little sentence buys you distance. And suddenly, it’s not all of you that’s vulnerable and anxious. Just a part of you. And once you’ve got that distance, you’ve got room to move.”
‘I got you’
Hunter explains what to do next. “And then you can ask this very important question: ‘What would this part of me have to believe in order to feel vulnerable and anxious?’ Because usually it’s something old, something from your childhood, your parents, your teachers. Stuff you picked up before you knew better. And you don’t need to wrestle with that vulnerability. You don’t need to solve it or cure it. You just need to quietly nod and say, ‘I got you.’ And then sink down into yourself.”
The question might become, “How?” “How do you do that? You drop your awareness from your head into your heart and pretend you’re breathing in and out of your heart to anchor your awareness in your heart area. That’s you, right there…your higher self. The real you.”
Meditation walks
He offers yet another physical technique to try. “Here’s a simple, easy walking meditation. Go for a walk, take out your phone, and set the timer for one minute. Then, out loud or under your breath, pick something that you appreciate in your life and all the reasons you appreciate it. Big things, small things. It doesn’t matter.
When the timer goes off, pick another thing and go for another minute. Do this nine times, and it will completely change your state of being. And it only took you nine minutes. You’ve got nine minutes to change your state of being, don’t you? And that’s when the whole thing flips, because anxiety becomes excitement. It’s the same energy; it’s just a new channel.”
How anxiety manifests
In a Psychology Today article, psychologist and author Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., addresses anger. Similarly to Hunter, he states, “In over 30 years as a counseling psychologist, the most common emotion I have repeatedly seen lurking under anger is anxiety. A few examples of how anxiety manifests as anger are: the jealous spouse afraid of being dumped; the employee who fears they will never be properly recognized; the mixed martial arts fighter who is still afraid his father does not respect him as being tough; or the child rebelling because they fear they don’t measure up to their siblings.”
Bernstein also offers tips for managing the feeling, including counting to ten, deep breathing, aromatherapy, visualization, and journaling.
