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Photos from the 1800s were so serious.
If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?
Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.
Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.
But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.
"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain
The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.
A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.
Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island by Augustus F. Sherman.via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons
Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:
"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."
"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain
In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.
Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.
As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.
Another reason why people didn't smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn't the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.
Even wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons
So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.
Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.
Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.
This article originally appeared last year.
Young girl watching TV,; Cory and Shawn from Boy Meets World
TGIF can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. A celebration of the fact that the weekend is just around the corner, a pretty solid casual restaurant or happy hour spot from the early 2000s, etc. But to elder millennials, TGIF refers to only one thing: an epic evening of television featuring iconic sitcoms like Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, and of course, Boy Meets World. Can you believe those bangers used to all be on back to back to back?! We truly didn't realize how lucky we were in the 90s.
Boy Meets World, in particular, was an incredibly important show for me. As a curly haired, middle-class kid, it was easy for me to see myself in Cory Matthews, the flawed protagonist of the series. Cory was always worried about fitting in and being popular. He was jealous that his cool older brother and best friend had great hair and knew how to talk to girls. He was constantly screwing up and finding ways to make things right. It's what television was meant to be, and it taught me lessons that I took into my own friendships, my first relationship, and more.
As I get closer to my late-late-late 30s, I decided that I wanted to see if Boy Meets World still had the same magic I remember from when I was young. The twist is that now I have a daughter about Cory Matthews' age, a Gen Alpha kid, and I wanted to see how she'd respond to the characters and storylines that resonated with me so deeply way back when. For reference, a LOT of books, movies, and shows of my youth have completely failed to connect with her and her more modern sensibilities.
So, I sat her down and more or less forced her to watch the first season, or 22 episodes, with me. To my surprise, she wanted to keep going.
Im Right Here Look At Me GIFGiphy
Upon rewatch, it's not hard to see why. If you look past the baggy clothes and landline telephones, the lessons (and laughs) underneath are timeless. I was not expecting the show to connect with a representative from Gen Alpha, who are decidedly different from millennials when we were that age, in many many ways. But I think it works not because it reminds her of other things she likes, but specifically because it doesn't.
Here are five things Boy Meets World brings to the table that my 10-year-old is not used to seeing in her media:
1. Lessons (so many lessons)
This line from "Cult Fiction" is better than anything on YouTube or TikTokGiphy
By the end of every episode of the show, Cory has had to learn a very tough lesson. He has to learn how to be more honest, how to be a better friend, or even when it's good to break the rules.
And that's just the regular episodes, to say nothing of the Very Special Episodes. After much consideration, I say: Bring back Very Special Episodes!
Are they cheesy? Absolutely. Are they a little simplistic and surface level? Sure. But they do something not a lot of kids media does anymore which is challenge young people with complex ideas. They are great discussion starters, especially as a parent watching alongside.
In one episode, Cory and Topanga fall asleep at the school while staying late to finish a project. The next day, everyone at school thinks Cory is "the man" for, presumably, hooking up with her. The show leaves certain things unsaid, or to the imagination, but it gave us a peek into sexism and reputation that my daughter hasn't been exposed to in the usual shows she watches.
And then, of course, there's the famous episode "Cult Fiction" where Shawn joins a cult called The Center. "Daddy, what's a cult?" is not a question I expected to field from my 10-year-old, but here we are! It was challenging, in a good way, to try to explain what they are and why they're harmful, which the show itself only vaguely touches on. These episodes were successful at piquing her curiosity and forcing her to ask questions, which is exactly the point.
A lot of the media my daughter watches just lacks this substance, even if it is simplistic at times in Boy Meets World. Shows she's enjoyed like Henry Danger or Sam and Cat come across as more purely silly—and both receive dismal scores from Common Sense Media for categories like "Positive Messages" and "Educational Value."
2. An honest-to-God plot
A simple plot is still better than no plot at all.Giphy
Boy Meets World isn't known for convoluted plot twists or reinventing the narrative structure. But at least it's got a story to offer.
Gen Alpha doesn't spend a lot of time engaging with plot-based media. My daughter and her friends love to read, and to watch the films and TV shows based on their favorite books, but as a whole, younger people are getting a lot of their entertainment from YouTube and TikTok. They spend a lot of time watching Get Ready With Me videos, Try Not To Laughs, Mr. Beast stunts, or people playing video games on livestreams.
Maybe it makes me sound old, but I'll say it anyway: Story still matters! Plot is good for your brain because it forces you to put yourself in the shoes of different characters. You have to imagine what one character might be thinking in a scene that leads them to do whatever it is they do next. Characters don't always say exactly what they mean (subtext) so your brain has to fill in the gaps and try to decipher when they're lying or withholding information or their true emotions.
Not all screen time is created equal. Watching a story is an active process. It's important for our brains, and helps build empathy and social intelligence. It elicits emotion. That's definitely something that's missing from a lot of the Gen Alpha media diet.
It also keeps kids like my daughter coming back because she wants to know what's going to happen next, not because the algorithm's got her hooked with easy bursts of dopamine.
3. Extremely outdated references, fashion, and technology
Kids today don't understand how much of an icon Shawn Hunter was.Giphy
The clothes and the landlines in the show are a serious walk down memory lane, but Boy Meets World feels old in more ways than that. (Seriously, at one point the Matthews family receives a telegram, which was a stretch even for the 90s.)
Boy Meets World, at this point, almost represents a completely different way of life. Shawn carries around a "black book" of all the girls he's dated with their phone numbers written down. The celebrity cameos are completely lost on my daughter, and often on me (I mean, the Love Boat guys, really?). But it's fun to get to explain these aspects of my own childhood to her, and she gets a kick out of it, too. The strange elements are challenging, in a good way.
As a side note: The baggy jeans are the one thing that don't look out of place anymore on the show. They're so back, baby!
4. Brave choices
Remember Cory and Topanga getting hitched and living in the 'married dorm'?Giphy
BMW was not afraid to pull at the heart strings, and while the plot was usually pretty formulaic, the writers were capable of shocking you.
For example, one of the main teachers, Mr. Turner, nearly dies out of nowhere! Shawn's dad abandons him to go chase after the love of his life. And a fresh-out-of-high-school Eric finds himself dating a young, single mom. Of course, one of the most memorable and shocking moments in the show is when Cory cheats on Topanga with another girl on a school trip. Can you imagine that happening in a so-called kids' show today? It's character suicide by today's standards. But they did it anyway and somehow pulled it off. That episode is heavily debated among fans to this day.
The show also played into sitcom tropes and cookie-cutter themes and lessons, but it also wasn't afraid to wade into grey areas sometimes. One of my favorite early episodes of the show to rewatch is an episode where Cory's dad lets him stay up late to watch a big baseball game with him, and a very sleepy Cory flunks a test at school the next day. Cory's dad and teacher, Mr. Feeny, then trade jabs over whether it was right or wrong. There's no clear winner, no exact right answer, just a lot to think about. I like my daughter being exposed to the idea that there's not always a clear cut solution, and I get the sense she's enjoyed that about the show, too.
Boy Meets World, contrary to its squeaky clean reputation, also has a few episodes that Disney has subsequently banned for being too racy or controversial, including Shawn shoving his girlfriend after having too much to drink. I'd like to see any modern family-friendly show have the guts to go there and turn it into a teachable moment.
5. Good adults—mostly
Alan Matthews belongs in the TV Dad Hall of FameGiphy
Alan, Amy, Mr. Feeny, and Mr. Turner were anything but caricatures. What strikes me most rewatching as an adult is how much I relate to and still admire the core adults in the show.
Even in a lot of modern adult sitcoms, the adults are all idiots. In kids shows, it's worse, with the buffoon dad merely there for comic relief and the mom too busy and frazzled to have any idea what's going on.
Crucially, during our rewatch of BMW, I realize that every single one of the main adults screws up at some point and has to apologize for it. They do their best, they're mostly wise and responsible, but they make mistakes, too. It's so important for kids to see that, and for my daughter to know that my wife and I are the same way.
Not everything in Boy Meets World has aged well. Even I can admit that the show has its warts.
Cory's behavior isn't always great. He can be very jealous and controlling of Topanga, and there's also this running thread in the show that they are "soulmates" and "absolutely have to be together" under any circumstances. That's an idea we would likely consider harmful or toxic today. Topanga even gives up a chance to go to Yale so that she can go to the state school with Cory, which is probably not the decision I'd like my own kids to make. The boys on the show can also be a little girl crazy, to the point that it borders on misogyny or just plain gross-ness. It also leans so heavily on nerd/jock stereotypes that it ends up perpetuating them.
But the core elements of the show: the lessons, the way it never talks down to the kids watching it, the beautiful portrayals of friendship and first love. Those are absolutely timeless.
There just aren't many shows left that even attempt to do what Boy Meets World did and the way it grew up with its audience. The closest modern equivalent I've seen would have to be Bluey. Maybe that's why the show is so beloved, because it understands what made the TGIF formula work so well and has perfectly adapted it to the modern age. It hits all five of the points above, with admirable adult characters, complex lessons, and even flashbacks to the 80s!
A skeptic might say that my daughter doesn't really care about the show, she just likes getting to stay up late and spend time together. But, now that we're deep into Season Five and showing no signs of slowing down, I can safely say that the magic is still there.
Images of idioms.
I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words—a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.
The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean—but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.
If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.
Dog hard at workGiphy
Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.
Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit—sounds pretty sick to me.
What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon. Before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.
Close up of pigs.Image via Canva
This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it: Pigs don't sweat!
So...what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.
According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron.' As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs.' Thus, 'sweating like a pig' indicates that the 'pig' (i.e. iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a 'pig' you wouldn't want to eat."
A person holds a plate of bullets.Image via Canva
Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?
There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in movies biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, "Okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it."
A horse making a funny face. Image via Canva
This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!
The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out—they're really powerful, majestic creatures.
A baby with glasses sleeping on a moon pillow.Image via Canva
To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!
Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them—after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot—around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.
Ocean Seafood GIF by Lorraine NamGiphy
Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.
The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."
At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!
Chocolate pudding.Image via Canva.
Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates—but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.
This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."
According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."
Smiling horse.Giphy
I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.
But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.
A young boy blows a whistle.Image via Canva
Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.
So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.
First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness—as in the sharp sound a whistle makes—and that inference has been lost over time.
Two women laugh looking at a laptop screenImage via Canva
This phrase is commonly used to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.
The only problem is...that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement...was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.
Slice of cake.Giphy
Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")
The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it. This saying likely began in a letter from Thomas, Duke of Norfolk to Thomas Cromwell in 1538. Thomas wrote,
"A man can not have his cake and eat his cake."
The quote appeared again in 1546 in A Dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue, a book of proverbs by John Heywood:
"Wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?"
tears for fears 80s GIFGiphy
Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.
The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. According to Dictionary.com, the saying originally went "heels over head," implying upside down. The saying originated in the 1300s, took its "present form" in the 1700s, and took its present meaning in the 1800s.
Two women at a gym push an oversized envelope.Images via Canva
When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.
"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!
Parents are sharing the helpful little lies they're 'taking to the grave.'
Matt Leinart seems to have some time on his hands. A former standout quarterback at USC where he competed for a National Championship, Leinart spent seven seasons in the NFL before retiring from football. These days, he works college football games in-studio as an analyst for FOX Sports. It's a demanding job, but certainly less grueling than the rigors of being a professional athlete.
Lately, he's been leaning into his new role as a dad of three boys. "Just a Dad with a Heisman," his TikTok profile says. On his social media, you won't find a whole lot of football talk or glory days highlights. Instead, he prefers to share funny skits and musings on being a dad.
Leinart recently took to TikTok with a simple prompt: "Tell me the biggest lies you tell your kids."
"I'm not talking about Santa or the Easter Bunny," he captions the video. "I want the ones you're taking to the grave. (Don't worry I'm the only one reading the comments)"
The video quickly picked up steam on social media, racking up over 600 thousand views, and parents began chiming in. The responses did not disappoint.
@mattleinartqb Spill… #imbored #parenting #secrets #parentsoftiktok #lies
Here are some of the best replies and, I've got to be honest, they're way more creative and devious than I ever would have expected.
1. "When new teeth grow in, I told her that they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in."
2. "Every single car accident we passed was bc the kids were fighting in the back seat"
3. "When their tablets need updating I have to mail it directly to Amazon and we have no clue how long it will take days, weeks or months. In reality they are in my closet and I just want them outside catching toads and bugs."
4. "I told my daughter that whenever a kid lies to their parents they eyes glow… now if she’s lying she squints at me!"
5. "All the candy at the front at checkouts is expired. That’s why it’s up front"
I always thought it was cruel that in order to leave any store, you have to walk through a gauntlet of candies and mini-toys. I can see this little lie coming in serious handy.
The gauntlet parents must face before they can exit any store.Giphy
6. "They think the car doesn’t start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts."
7. "Our sons didn't eat cooked onions ( in casserole, etc l.). 'It's not onion. It's Japanese Clearfruit.' They cleaned their plates."
A quick Google search for Japanese Clearfruit does not yield any interesting results. Pretty clever that this parent came up with that on the fly!
8. "You don’t grow if you sleep in your parents bed."
As a dad to a 4-year-old that loves to come to bed in the middle of the night, I may steal this one.
9. "For every bite of vegetables at dinner, they could stay up 5 minutes later. But, they didn’t know how to tell time."
10. "You can only go to Chuck E Cheese if you’re invited for a party. We don’t know anyone that has had a party so…"
You have to be "invited" to Chuck E. Cheese. You can't just show up.Giphy
11. "We told our daughter she couldn’t go to Disney World unless she learned how to go potty in the toilet. We told her Mickey doesn’t allow diapers."
12. "When the ice cream truck plays music, it means they’re empty."
This one came up again and again in the responses to Leinart's post. It must have been one the Gen X kids heard over and over when they were kids, to the point that it was almost mythical.
The music on the ice cream truck means it's empty. Brilliant!Giphy
13. "We live on a lake and all our granddaughters know the lake doesn’t open until 9am. "
14. "That McDonalds has Sad Meals for naughty kids. My kids are still SILENT in the drive thru"
15. "I used to tell my kids the cops would pull us over if the interior light was on at night"
That dang interior light!
They're not all mean or meant to work in the parents' favor! Some lies and bits of deception help keep the magic of childhood alive.
16. "My son lost his tooth on the playground. I took one of my daughters [old ones] and we all pretended to search and magically found his tooth... in the snow"
17. "That if we saw the moon - it would follow us home to make sure we made it safely. My daughter believed this until like middle school and still talks about it"
18. "My younger brother thought that North Carolina was the windshield capitol of the world until he was in college because one time we were driving through the state during a really bad storm and he was a super nervous kid so my dad had to reassure him that we were safe because we were in the windshield capitol of the world."
The windshield capitol of the world! Now that's truly inspired, and all in the name of comforting a scared child.
19. "Dead squirrels in the road are just squirrels taking a nap."
The entire thread begs the question: Is it really OK to lie to your kids?
The answer is: it depends. Everyone is going to have their own idea of what's right and wrong.
“Usually, we are lying to our children out of kindness to them, because we don’t want them to be upset or have to deal with the awfulness of the world,” author Judi Ketteler told CNN. These are called prosocial lies, because they're meant to benefit the recipient. Lying to prevent your kids from finding out the truth about Santa Claus, or to shield them from a harsh realization about death—these are prosocial lies that are generally considered to be OK.
Ketteler adds that "lies of omission" are even more common and necessary when raising kids. It's when you tell them the truth, but leave out crucial information that may be painful for them or hard to process.
And finally, there are the selfish lies. The lies that give parents a much-needed break or help us avoid a meltdown or major confrontation we're not in the mood to have. The common ice cream truck lie, for example, can help us avoid a major standoff and the tears and screaming that will probably come along with it. At least, in the short term. Experts agree that it's probably not the best idea, and it would be healthier and more productive to set firm boundaries and stand by them instead of lying. But...we're still going to do it sometimes because it's funny, makes for a good story, and because our kids will one day lie to their kids because they're too tired to go to Chuck E. Cheese just like we were.
It's the circle of life.
Americans have a style and personality all their own, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just noticeable when they travel aboard. Americans often stand out because of their outgoing personalities. They are friendly and enjoy having casual conversations with strangers.
This is an endearing trait to a lot of people in more reserved cultures, although it can also come off as a little brash.
An American characteristic that isn’t quite endearing to people in other countries is that they can be rather loud. In Europe, one can always notice the Americans in the restaurant because they can be heard from across the room.
One Reddit user wanted to know the specific ways that Americans stand out when traveling abroad, so they asked the AskReddit subreddit: “What’s an obvious sign that someone is an American?”
It may not be quite this obvious, but Americans do stand out.Giphy
The post was popular, receiving nearly 6,000 responses in just 6 days. The most popular ones described how Americans' unique personalities, style of dress, dental hygiene and body language make them easy to spot.
Here are 14 “obvious” signs that someone is an American.
Americans slouch and lean.Giphy
"Apparently, the CIA trains American agents to not lean on things if they go undercover in foreign countries because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," one user wrote.
"I bet MI6 trains British agents to lean on everything if they go undercover in America because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," joked another.
Shockingly, this is actually true. The "American lean" is well-documented and, yes, a former CIA chief has said publicly that it's something the agency addresses with its operatives to help them blend in.
"MMDDYYYY," a user said.
The way Americans write the date seems normal and commonplace when you're in the US, but around the world, we're practically the only ones who do it that way. Similarly, only a small handful of countries outside of the US use the imperial system of measure.
Writing the date or using feet and inches are a dead giveaway!
"Anything under 4 hours is 'close by," someone suggested.
"Everything in Europe is around the corner if you're from the US. I can drive the whole day and not leave my state, but in Europe, I can pass through 4 countries in that same time frame," said another.
The massive geography of the United States has a big affect on how we see distance. It shows up when we travel to other countries that are more densely packed together.
"In the touristy cafe-restaurant I worked at:
If they asked me for the nicest spot we had
If they asked me my recommendation without seeing the menu first
I would walk to the table, and they would say right away ‘hey, how are you doing?’ This one threw me off a lot at first. Why is this person asking me how I'm doing?? I'm just there to take the order. I got used to it, and I think they found my awkwardness cute.
They would ask my name when I greeted them and took their order.
I'm Northern European.," explained one user.
"It’s under-appreciated just how polite, friendly, and sincere Americans are in general. It blew my mind the first time I came to the US, and I love that my children are growing up with those same values," said another.
You might expect to hear that Americans are rude and entitled when traveling, but that's not necessarily the case! In America, some friendly rapport with your waiter is expected, and Americans tend to be a more outgoing bunch that love to engage. That makes them stand out in European countries, in particular, where restaurant service is meant to be professional and efficient rather than charismatic.
Americans love huge water bottles.Giphy
"I was told, 'Americans carry water bottles around like they're worried they'll never have access to clean water ever again," one user said.
"I don't care what anyone says. If you think carrying a water bottle when walking a lot is weird, you're probably slightly dehydrated all the time and are just desensitized to it. You seriously need to drink water frequently if you want to be ideally healthy," said another.
The water bottle fad is uniquely American, for better or worse. Whether it's a Yeti, a Stanley, an Owalla, or something else, you can bet if someone is swinging a massive water bottle wherever they walk, they're an American.
"I was in Germany this past summer, and I realized smiling at everyone you make eye contact with is very American. When I went to London on the same trip, they seemed less weirded out by it but would awkwardly return the smile. I was taught to always start with a disarming smile. Never realized it was American," said one person.
Americans love tons of ice in their drinks.Giphy
"I spent a year in Europe completely iceless to the point I forgot that was a thing. I stopped at a bar in Chicago fresh off the plane and not only did I get free tap water, but water with ice. I instantly felt at home," added one person.
There is a long and fascinating history involving someone called "The Ice King" behind why Americans, and so few other cultures, love to put tons of ice in our drinks. Needless to say, it makes us stand out like a sore thumb when traveling.
"As an American man, I’ve been told repeatedly by European and Asian friends that we simply take up space (not by being fat) as though we’re entitled to it. Men in other countries apparently don’t claim the same personal space we do," one person offered.
You mean manspreading? Apparently, other cultures don't do that.
Americans value ultra-white teeth.Giphy
"It’s even more bizarre that they assume we have braces or bleach our teeth because they’re straight and white. I have naturally straight white teeth. I brush them twice a day so they stay white. I don’t do anything special to them, but I remember being in London and some similar-aged students literally making fun of me for my teeth… it’s true that they don’t naturally look like headstones in an ancient graveyard, but there’s no need to make fun," someone added.
Imagine getting made fun of for having white teeth! For one reason or another, American culture places high value on having extremely white teeth. We all know the old jokes about British teeth, but some findings show that while Americans' teeth may be whiter, Brits may be healthier overall. Something to think about.
"My friend went to Germany recently, and what people said about Americans is you can spot them a mile away because they’re the ones wearing pajamas in public. Apparently, in other countries, at least Germany, they dress a little more formally and in less baggy clothes than we do in America," someone added.
Activewear, sweatpants, pajamas — we love to be comfortable! But it does make us a bit obvious when we're out and about in other countries.
Americans wear hats... everywhere.Giphy
"Baseball cap... even on an infant riding in a pram," a user suggested.
Baseball hats are common in many countries around the world, but most people internationally only wear them outside. If someone's wearing a cap inside or at a restaurant, it's a safe bet that person is American.
"Americans are shoe snobs (they don’t think they are, but they are). Setting aside wealthier business types, Americans generally wear more on-brand, on-trend, high-quality shoes than others," someone said.
Americans' default volume is loud.Giphy
"That was my first thought. Americans yell at each other in normal conversation in public. I noticed it years ago in Europe, and now I can’t stand it in the US," another user added.
Now there's an unsurprising revelation! Just like our tendency to take up space, Americans seem to have less awareness of those around them when it comes to conversation volume, as well.
"Immediately asking someone what they do for a living when meeting them. Our jobs and work are our entire identity," one person said.
"I hate that about American culture. I'm an American and recently became a SAHM, so I don't have an answer to 'What do you do for a living?' Half the time, I add the caveat, ‘Oh, my last job was with Apple,’ so that I'm not written off as an unemployed ‘loser.’ But it really is dumb to determine a person's worth by what they do in order to afford food and shelter," added another.
There are huge differences in work culture between America and other countries. They're so big and pervasive that they show up not just while we're working, but in the way we interact with others. For example, in Europe it's far less common to be friends with your coworkers. People value the purpose they find in work and the results, but are happy to keep the majority of their life separate from their career.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.