There are two camps of people when it comes to social media use: those who love to post, and those who prefer to scroll. The choice to post is a personal one.
Some people post every day, some post seasonally, and others haven’t posted in years. People who prefer to keep their private lives off of social media often have clear reasons.
“It should not be assumed that a person who does not want to share their life publicly has a problem. In fact, some people find it quite refreshing to know that it is okay to prefer privacy in a social landscape that has become highly visible and at times intrusive,” Hannah Jones, PsyD, a psychologist with Prosper Health, told Upworthy.
Those who prefer not to share their lives online may have specific reasons for not oversharing and certain personality traits that influence their decision.
Personality traits of more private people
These are seven personality traits therapists and psychologists say they often observe in people who prefer not to share their lives online:
Personality trait #1: They’re comfortable being a little misunderstood
Much of social media is about shaping how others see us.
“People who stay private are generally okay with acquaintances not knowing the full story of their lives, even if that means someone assumes they’re boring or disconnected,” Elizabeth Bodett Dresser, LCPC, founder of Still Oak Counseling, told Upworthy. “They don’t feel the need to correct the record or prove they’re doing well, and that takes a real sense of inner steadiness,” she continued.
Personality trait #2: They’re more interested in deep connection than a bigger network
“This would maybe be somebody who is more introverted, meaning that they have a few friendships that they find meaningful and fulfilling,” Laurie Groh, MS, LPC, SAS, therapist and owner of Shoreside Therapies, told Upworthy. “Their outer circle might be more limited. They’d rather have more in-depth conversations with people than spend time sharing their lives with a lot of people,” she explained.
Personality trait #3: They have strong boundaries
“People who share less online may simply be intentional about separating their daily lives from their public persona,” Jones continued. “They may find that having a full life does not require posting it for others to consume, and in fact may find that they feel more fulfilled when they take breaks from being online,” she added.
Personality trait #4: They’re mindful of others
People who share less online may also realize that their stories involve other people. They often think about the privacy of family and friends as well as their own.
“Almost every meaningful moment involves someone else, whether it’s a partner, a child, a friend going through a hard time, or an aging parent,” Bodett Dresser continued. “Private people tend to be highly aware that posting their own life often means posting someone else’s too. Their restraint is often a form of respect and loyalty to the people they love,” she added.
Personality trait #5: They have self-confidence
“Some people post online for feedback from a broad audience because it can provide a sense of validation,” Jones added. “However, people who do not seek this external validation might not post their private lives online because they feel confident in their own perspective or well-supported by trusted close individuals who offer sound feedback and advice,” she concluded.
Personality trait #6: They’re discerning about judgment, and sometimes sensitive to it
Sharing personal information online can sometimes be a double-edged sword, and people who maintain their privacy are aware of this.
“For many people, keeping things private is a confident, intentional choice. For others, it can come from a strong awareness of being evaluated, and a wish to avoid the vulnerability of putting something out there and waiting to see the response,” Bodett Dresser added. “Neither makes someone less secure than a frequent poster. The helpful question is whether privacy feels like freedom or like hiding, because that tells you whether it’s a value or a fear,” she explained.
Personality trait #7: They’re introspective
“Some people are naturally more introverted, introspective, and self-reflective—they may also be shy, but not everyone who is introverted is shy. For people who have a rich inner world, they may value taking time to be present and process an experience privately before deciding whether they want to share it with others.”
