Amanda had a sign in her yard that read: “Mister Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the HOA.”
It’s a funny sign. It’s also, for anyone who grew up watching Fred Rogers teach an entire generation that neighbors treat each other with patience and kindness, a completely reasonable sentiment. Her HOA did not see it that way. They sent her a notice to remove it.
As she explained in a TikTok video posted to @corporate.amanda, she had suspected for a while that her HOA wasn’t exactly operating by the book. What she found confirmed it. The board hadn’t filed the required paperwork with the state to remain an active entity year over year. They hadn’t held their mandatory annual meetings. They had no minutes to show members. Technically, legally, they didn’t exist as an organization with any enforcement power.
“I know that they can’t technically do anything,” she said. “They can’t even represent themselves in court because they aren’t an entity at this time.”
Sweet petty revenge
So Amanda did not remove the sign. Instead, she spent a week driving around the neighborhood documenting every HOA violation she could find among board members’ own properties. Then she mailed the photos to each of them.
She also sent the board a formal request for five years’ worth of records — meeting minutes, audit documents, board formation paperwork — fully aware they couldn’t produce any of it. “I already know the answers to all these,” she said. “They haven’t done an audit. They haven’t done the things they are supposed to do.”
At the time of her video, they hadn’t responded to her emails in six days.
“I actually have a full-time job, and I am a mom, and I am in school,” Amanda said, “so I do have better things to do. But I am so petty that I have made this my new life mission.”
The response in the comments was immediate and enthusiastic, including from someone who works at an attorney’s office representing HOAs: “You’re absolutely right. If they got an attorney, that’d be the first thing they’d notice.”
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.
Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
A survey found that about 15% of adults have no hobbies to speak of. The same survey found that people overwhelmingly agree that having hobbies is important, and also, that they wish they had more time for them.
Anecdotally, those numbers feel low. It’s rare to find someone juggling career, a household, kids, pets, family, and friends who still manages to spend time daily in the woodshop or quietly crocheting.
“MIT Monk” says hobbies matter more than ever
Hobbies still exist, of course, but we have less time for them. Another study found that time spent on socializing, hobbies, and offline activities has decreased over the last few decades while time spent on TV and phones has shot up.
That’s a trend that severely needs reversing. It’s a simple calculus. Doing real things is good for your brain. Screens are not.
“The most successful people fiercely protect their seemingly useless hobbies,” says Sandeep Swadia. “That’s their best defense against brainrot.”
Swadia goes by “MIT Monk” on YouTube, a reference to his time spent both in Himalayan monk training and receiving his MBA from one of the world’s most prestigious Ivy Leagues. He’s also a technology executive and investor, so he meets a lot of high-performing people. His unique background makes him not only an expert in “success,” but also in inner peace and happiness.
Swadia says all of smartest people he meets have at least one frivolous hobby that they make time for. And not just CEOS and billionaires, but Nobel Prize winners too.
Perhaps even more importantly, hobbies are fun. They bring us joy, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment that’s difficult to recreate on an app or a website. Plus, they’re great for our health.
But a lot of people simply don’t know where to start when looking to take up a new hobby, even if they’re willing to make the time and put in the effort.
The “VIBE” framework for choosing the perfect hobby
Swadia says you don’t have to just hope you have a passion for something. A hobby can actually be a way to improve your life in the very specific ways that it’s lacking.
But you have to pick the right hobby for you. And Swadia says in order to pick the right hobby, you need a framework. He calls his VIBE.
Vitality
“Are you running on empty? Then pick a hobby that gets your heart rate up,” he says.
It can be fitness and exercise directly, as in implementing a workout routine at the gym or taking a group fitness class. Or you can enjoy active hobbies that have a physical side effect, like hiking.
Vitality hobbies are something fun, challenging, and non-digital to do, and they have the added benefit of improving your physical health and energy levels.
A running club is a perfect hobby that checks multiple boxes. Photo Credit: Canva Photos
Inquiry
“Are you easily bored? Then pick a hobby that forces you to be a beginner again.”
Swadia suggests learning a new language, picking up chess, or taking a formal class on just about anything. Crucially, being a beginner as an adult requires courage. It requires you to fail and face your shortcomings head on. But that’s exactly why being a beginner again is so powerful.
“Your brain doesn’t adapt or grow when you’re comfortable,” Swadia says. “A hobby allows you to struggle, to be surprised. It forces your brain to upgrade.”
Chess will make you feel like a humbled beginner, and that’s the point. Photo Credit: Canva Photos
Belonging
If you have a lot of acquaintances and distant friends, you may need to find activities that help you find deeper connections in your community.
“Try a hobby that weaves you into a tribe,” Swadia advises.
Anything group-centered works here: a book club, a running group, volunteering, etc. Anything that’s fun, challenging, interesting, or meaningful that you do specifically with other people will bond you to them in surprising and profound ways.
Expression
“Do you consume more than create? Then try a hobby that pulls something from inside of you and puts it out into the world.”
These are the classics: creating and the arts. Woodworking, painting, photography, pottery. Even cooking can be a form of self-expression.
You don’t need to be good at something in order to use it to express yourself. And getting better slowly over time is a huge part of the fun.
You don’t have to be good at art to express yourself through it. Photo Credit: Canva Photos
You don’t need one hobby per category, Swadia reminds us. Many hobbies can fill multiple needs at once. Joining a running club, for example, can improve your vitality and your sense of belonging all at once. Depending on your starting point, it can also make you feel like a total beginner (Inquiry) again.
It’s hard to go wrong when picking a hobby
VIBE is just one framework, and it can help you identify what’s missing from your life and figure out how a new activity can challenge you and make you feel more whole.
Psychology Today notes, however, that hobbies don’t have to be challenging or designed to stimulate and rewire your brain. They can also be mindless and relaxing, like coloring or reading “trashy” novels.
More important than picking the right or perfect hobby is picking one at all. Unless there are huge costs involved, you can always try something else down the road if the first one doesn’t work out. What matters is taking care of yourself in order to be at your best.
“Our 24/7 culture tells us hobbies are selfish. They’re extra. It’s time stolen from work or the people that need you,” Swadia says. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”
College students and recent graduates are entering a very difficult job market. For some, getting an interview can feel like an impossible feat, let alone getting a position. It’s not hopeless, though. In fact, career advisor Gorick Ng not only knows young college grads who have landed jobs, but also how they did it.
Ng gave some solid advice and shared the things college students did that helped them successfully land a job shortly after earning their diploma. Here are the ways those grads got their careers started:
1. Start your career training while you’re still a student
The earlier you’re on your career track, the better off you’ll be once you graduate. That said, it’s not too late to start, even if you’re a senior. Including extracurricular activities and volunteer work on your resume can help strengthen your candidacy as a new hire.
While it can be great to include activities and titles relevant to the job itself (such as being president of the coding club for software development positions), other extracurricular activities can also be included if they demonstrate leadership and planning skills (such as being a tutor or leading a party planning committee).
Listing the skills you’ve learned at internships and part-time positions helps you stand out as well. Speaking of which…
2. Know the timelines for the jobs and internships you want
While the summer is typically when internships are available, many applications need to be submitted months in advance. Some are even available year-round. It’s best to do your research to understand the recruitment timelines for internships and student jobs. Applying for and getting these positions can boost your resume when you search for full-time work.
Even if you don’t get the internship, the process of applying and interviewing can be good practice when you apply for a full-time position. It’s also an opportunity to become a familiar face and make connections.
3. Expand your network beyond your peers, and stay in touch
While you’ll make connections with other people in your major who could help you, it’s very likely that you and your immediate peers are applying for the same pool of jobs. To get an edge or a job lead, it can be helpful to reach out and develop relationships beyond your current sphere.
Become friends with older students who graduate in your chosen field. This can allow you to stay in touch with someone already in your industry who could get a job and possibly recommend you for a role once you’ve graduated. Creating and maintaining relationships with college professors or speakers in your field can also create opportunities later. Even approaching those who interviewed you for a position or internship you didn’t get can be a good connection, depending on how well the process went.
While these relationships are professional in nature, it’s important to nurture them as genuine relationships, not transactions. Leading with curiosity about them, their professional lives, and the like will help you create long-lasting allies who have a connection to the field you want to be part of. They may also be willing to act as a reference on your behalf.
4. Submit your resume within 24 hours of a job posting
Applying for a job is easier, which is a wonderful problem to have. With AI-based applications and one-button resume submissions, it has become more difficult for qualified applicants to be seen by recruiters. There is also the problem of ghost jobs clogging up job searches with positions that are either already filled or don’t exist.
With this in mind, it’s best to submit a job application within 24 hours of a posting. This can ensure your resume is near the top of the stack. You can also ask your network if there are email newsletters to subscribe to within your chosen industry. This could alert you to positions before they’re posted online.
If there is a specific company you wish to work for, check its website regularly. Applying through its official website usually gets your resume seen before applications through third-party postings.
There are also some hacks for job search websites like LinkedIn. They can help you winnow down your search to job postings listed within an hour of posting.
5. Display competence, commitment, and compatibility
Ng says that whether it’s a networking contact, recruiter, or potential employer, people want three “yeses” to the following questions:
“Can this person do the job well?”
“Is this person excited to be here?”
“Do I get along with this person?”
Ng sums this up by saying a college student needs to demonstrate the “3 Cs”: competence, commitment, and compatibility.
By showing competence through a resume, commitment through conversation, and compatibility through the professional contacts you retain, you can show an employer that you know what you’re doing, are eager to demonstrate your abilities, and can be molded into what they need.
It may seem like the public library is one of the most accessible places for people across the socioeconomic spectrum. However, people in underserved communities often face barriers to accessing the incredible benefits of the public library.
Those who weren’t raised as regular library-goers may misunderstand library policies or be afraid of incurring fees for late book returns. They may also be uncomfortable filling out the necessary paperwork or lack the digital literacy to navigate the system. That’s why a new program by the Chicago Public Library and Chicago Public Schools is so groundbreaking: it allows school children to use their school identification cards to double as library cards.
What is Chicago’s 81 Club?
The 81 Club (a nod to the city’s 81 public libraries) began in 2022 as a pilot program that allowed any child with a school ID to pick up a library card by showing up to a library in person. It led to a 63% increase in library access among economically disadvantaged students and 81% among English language learners.
Celebrating the expansion of The 81 Club, this first-of-its-kind data-sharing agreement between @chipublib and the district puts the power of our city’s 81 public library branches directly in the hands of more than 315,000 CPS students, giving them instant access with their… pic.twitter.com/7XZbf9gK6J
— CPS – Chicago Public Schools (@ChiPubSchools) April 7, 2026
After its success, the city made the program even easier by allowing students to use their IDs as cards instead of obtaining a library card, thereby eliminating major barriers to entry. The program essentially grants immediate library access to its 316,000 students.
“This partnership demonstrates my administration’s commitment to build a more equitable and thriving city by bringing all of government together to invest in our young people,” Mayor Brandon Johnson said in a statement. “By removing barriers and connecting young people to learning opportunities in every neighborhood, we are helping to ensure that students have access to the resources they need in school and beyond.”
The 81 Club gives students access to countless resources
As members of the 81 Club, Chicago students can access the system’s 6-million-item collection, digital media, online databases, and one-on-one tutoring.
“At Chicago Public Library, the library is the city’s most accessible out-of-school learning space,” CPL Commissioner Chris Brown said in a statement. “The 81 Club moves us beyond access; it ensures every CPS student can step into opportunity, with the freedom to explore their interests, the joy of choosing their own path, and an abundance of books in every neighborhood. This is how we connect schools and libraries to strengthen Chicago’s neighborhoods and support young people and their families.”
One of the major goals of the program is to improve library access to those who face the toughest barriers, such as foster youth, undocumented students, and the unhoused.
Since the original program launched four years ago, the number of students using the Chicago Public Library system has increased. A report found that 3,000 students from 390 different CPS schools activated their 81 Club accounts. Administrators hope that the expanded program will raise those numbers higher.
“The 81 Club shows what is possible when we invest in ideas that scale access and impact,” Board Chair of the Chicago Public Library Foundation Michael Fassnacht said in a statement. “This is about ensuring that every young person in Chicago can connect to opportunity, regardless of circumstance.”
America’s public library system is cherished as one of the few places where people can enrich themselves without being expected to pay. Society can only benefit by making it easier for everyone, especially our youth, to access the joy and growth that comes with having a library card.
But making your house smell good without using artificial air fresheners or sprays can be challenging.
“Keeping a home smelling fresh can be difficult because odors do not just enter and leave–they accumulate in fabrics, carpets, upholstery, garbage bins, and places with moisture,” Marla Mock, president of Molly Maid, tells Upworthy. “You have to address the underlying problem, rather than just spraying a perfume to cover it up. Plug-ins, and sprays mask an odor rather than remove it.”
Plus, keeping your home smelling good for an extended period of time can also be difficult, as many underlying odors are caused by mold, mildew, and bacteria, Kathy Cohoon, operations director at Two Maids, tells Upworthy.
Here are seven expert tips to help you stave off odors and keep your home smelling fresh:
1. Routinely clean specific areas
Eliminate odors by staying on top of cleaning certain areas in your home.
“For instance, empty your trash and clean the bins regularly, routinely check and clean areas where moisture is prone to accumulate such as dishwashers, laundry rooms and bathrooms to avoid mildew odors,” Mock explains. “You will eliminate the source of odors, and therefore your home will smell better because of that alone.”
2. Bake some fresh scents
Your pantry and refrigerator can help your home smell delicious.
“I bake a quick tray of sliced lemons with a little water, or simmer a pot with citrus peels, cinnamon sticks, and cloves,” says Jessica Randhawa, owner and head chef at The Forked Spoon. “I keep it at the barest simmer and top off the water as needed. Cooking these fresh scents replaces stale odors with a light, natural kitchen smell.”
3. Neutralize lingering kitchen odors with a vinegar simmer
The kitchen is full of sources for bad smells that stick around your home.
“If you have strong odors from cooking dishes like fish or spices, mix a cup of water and three tablespoons of white vinegar in a pot and bring it to a boil,” explains Cohoon. “Let it simmer uncovered. The acid in the vinegar neutralizes the odors in the air. For a natural fragrant boost, you can create an aromatic stove simmer by boiling water with additions like mint leaves, a lemon, and a few orange rinds.”
Which one will you try first? 🌻 #5 is a gamechanger in our home 🙌 make your home look + smell amazing with these 5 easy and inexpensive tricks 1. Place 2 tbs vanilla extract in the oven to make your home smell like cookies 2. Place essential oils on cotton balls and inside your vacuum to make your whole home smell fresh 3. And you can also place them under your bin liner to rid odours 4. Run 1 cup baking soda in your dishwasher to rid musty odours 5. And neutralise bathroom odours by mopping floors with shaving cream Hope these were helpful lovelies x #hometips#homehacks#homefragrance#homesweethome#cleantok#cleaningtiktok#cleaningtips#cleaninghacks
Fresh air is an important part of a good-smelling home.
“Air out rooms by opening windows and/or using fans; launder or replace soft goods such as curtains, throws and mats, as they absorb odors,” Mock shares. “This also prevents odors from soaking into the fabrics and keeps your home odor free.”
5. Deep clean and deodorize fabrics with baking soda
A simple pantry staple will get your fabric smelling fresh.
“Baking soda is a fantastic, non-fragranced deodorizer because its alkaline properties help absorb and kill acidic odors, grease, and oils,” says Cohoon. “To tackle smelly carpets and rugs, I recommend mixing equal parts of borax and baking soda. Sprinkle the mixture liberally over the surface and let it sit for up to 30 minutes before vacuuming thoroughly. For strong smells in enclosed spaces, I suggest putting some baking soda in a vented jar and refreshing the powder every month or so.”
6. Eliminate sneaky odor sources like smelly shoes
Shoes can be a major source of odor inside your home.
“To refresh smelly shoes, I recommend sprinkling Borax generously inside them and letting the powder sit overnight to absorb the stink,” says Cohoon. “In the morning, wipe out or vacuum the Borax powder to remove the odors.”
7. Try essential oils
Essential oils are a natural way to make your home smell good.
“A few drops of an essential oil can be great as well to give some fragrance,” adds Mock. “They neutralize odors instead of covering them up, so the space smells fresh, not scented.”
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
There are few things more frustrating than watching gas prices climb and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. Oil prices around the world are skyrocketing, and in the United States, some people are paying as much as $7 per gallon. It’s enough to make people rethink public transit and bicycles. Because of the gut-punching fuel prices, people are looking for ways to stretch their gas.
People have been turning to social media to ask how to increase their gas mileage and save money. Some of the answers are surprising, but what people find most refreshing is that real people are sharing strategies that work for them.
Using STA-BIL
STA-BIL is a fairly inexpensive product sold almost everywhere. It’s designed to be poured into your gas tank before filling up. After you fill the tank, the instructions say to let the car run for about five minutes. The solution “cleans the fuel system, prevents the buildup of gum and varnish” and helps prevent corrosion. According to the company and commenters, a cleaner fuel system allows your engine to run at its best, improving fuel efficiency.
Under the video about using STA-BIL to increase gas mileage, people shared the pain they feel at the pump. One person wrote, “Bruh I pumped $37 in a civic! CIVIC!! before it went up it was $20 for a full fill up.” Another added, “Just paid $52 in SoCal for my civic.”
Try not to be Speed Racer
In a Reddit thread about getting the best gas mileage out of your car, one commenter warns against fast acceleration:
“Accelerate slow and always be planning ahead to see if you need to continue pressing on the gas. Often times people are still blindly accelerating up to a light that’s red, traffic that’s stopped, etc. … Anticipatory braking is big in the efficiency game. If you can slow down early and avoid completely stopping at a red light that’s a win. You want to conserve as much of your motion as possible.”
Someone else added later in the thread, “If you do any highway driving stick to the right-most lane and do the speed limit (55,65, etc) via cruise control. the MPG difference at 65 mph vs 70 mph is insane.”
Idling burns gas
It’s not uncommon for people to sit in their cars and idle, whether it’s a mom trying to have a quiet moment or someone in a parking lot scrolling on their phone. While idling may be unavoidable in cold climates, when you need to warm up your car, it should be kept to a minimum outside of those situations.
“One car idling for just 15 minutes has wasted .08 gallons of gasoline. That doesn’t seem like much, but if they idle for 15 minutes every day of the year, that’s 29.2 gallons of gasoline in one year. At a price of $3.50/gallon, that’s $102 spent in gasoline to get you nowhere.”
Consider ditching the roof rack
In response to someone on Reddit asking whether a roof rack decreases gas mileage, the answer was a resounding yes. One person added, “Yes it worsens it quite dramatically actually. I don’t know the numbers off the top of my head but I want to say a roof rack alone is an observable drop, and with a luggage case it’s a ~10-15% loss.”
Car and Driver tested this theory with a 2022 Kia Carnival equipped with a factory-installed roof rack. The outlet reported being “initially disappointed in our observed fuel economy.” After suspecting the rack, they spent 10 minutes removing it.
“Upon removal, we instantly saw increased efficiency numbers, prompting us to make a second attempt at our 75-mph highway fuel-economy test,” the outlet revealed. “In the second run, we bested our prior attempt by 3 mpg (25 mpg to 28 mpg), a 12 percent increase and also better than the EPA’s highway figure of 26 mpg.”
Check your tires
This is a quick and inexpensive fix for improving gas mileage. Cars don’t alert you to low tire pressure until it drops significantly. The recommended PSI is listed on your tire, and one mechanic says keeping your tires properly inflated can help boost gas mileage.
“Keep your tires inflated to the proper pressure,” Andy’s Auto Advice said in a TikTok video. “If you run your tire pressure too low in your vehicle, it’s going to cause more friction between the tire and the road surface, thus reducing your overall MPG. So by keeping your tires at the proper PSI, it’s going to give you the optimal fuel economy for your vehicle.”
Routine maintenance is more of a long-term strategy, but Andy’s Auto Advice and other mechanics say it’s the most important.
According to the Associated Press, removing excess weight can help you get the most out of your gas tank. Apps like GasBuddy show you the cheapest gas stations near you, so use them in conjunction with these tips to stretch your dollar at the pump.
Isn’t it wild to think that spies are actually real? Governments all over the world send secret agents to other countries to steal information or conduct missions. The key element that makes a spy, of course, is the secretive nature of their work. They go undercover, sometimes even wearing disguises, and carry out their missions without attracting attention. That means they’re masters of psychology and social science rather than combat and weaponry.
In a revealing interview with Steven Bartlett on his “Diary of a CEO” podcast, former Secret Service Special Agent Evy Poumpouras shared how to get people to do what you want them to do. The key, according to Poumpouras, is to understand what motivates them. Once you know the psychological framework behind what makes them tick, you can persuade them to behave as you like.
“The biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot,” Poumpouras said in the video clip. “Steven, if I’m doing all the talking and you’re doing all the listening, you’re learning everything about me. You’re learning about what I care about, my values, my belief systems, getting a good read on me and I’m learning nothing about you.”
The former Secret Service Agent says that you should listen to determine the subject’s motivational mindset. Are they motivated by money, sex, admiration, status, freedom, relationships, or safety?
“Everybody’s motivated by something different. But I have to hear you and pay attention to you to understand what that is. Everybody’s purpose is different,” she continued. “If you give people enough space, they will reveal themselves to you.”
To be clear, Poumpouras isn’t in the business of helping people trick others. Instead, she hopes the techniques she teaches will, “Increase your self-confidence, your self-worth, and your ability to trust and believe in yourself.”
The commenters on TikTok loved the advice:
“People are so interested in themselves and want to talk about themselves… We give our power away by talking.”
“Changed my life when I was told to stop filling the silence”
“As a parent, I needed this reminder too.”
Yes, the parents came out in full force to support Poumpouras’ tip. Perhaps no one, other than espionage experts, better understands the importance of learning how to get other people to do things without threats and violence. (OK, sometimes there are threats).
It’s also a wonderful tactic because your subject will have no idea they are part of a manipulation because they are the ones doing the talking. It’s nearly impossible to give yourself away when you’re sitting in silence.
Understanding what motivates people is essential when protecting the safety of the nation’s most important assets and dealing with shady, dangerous people. But it’s not only useful for spies and double agents.
This so-called “trick” can also benefit the layperson by giving us a framework to understand people better. Knowing what motivates someone is very important, whether you’re on a date, in a business deal, or in a leadership role at work. It’s also very important when raising children or training an animal.
The data agrees. Forbes writes about the experiments of Dan Ariely, who found that, “People are much more likely to go above and beyond for tasks that they’re emotionally (rather than financially) invested in.” So, if you want people to do things that benefit you, sure you can pay them or convince them that it’s in their best interest, but you’ll have far better luck if you appeal to their core principles and desires. To do that, you first have to listen and find out what they are.
Understanding your personal motivators is also essential for making the best choices in life.
It helps us determine which actions will be genuinely beneficial. It’s also a great way to ensure that we are involved with people, organizations, and activities for the right reasons.
In other words, digging into someone else’s (and your own) core beliefs and motivation can be used for good! Not just protecting state secrets and preventing assassinations.
Productivity consultant Ashley Janssen says the key to understanding your motives is knowing your values.
“When you know what you value, you can identify how an activity or goal will support and foster those values,” Janssen writes. “When you decide to try something, consider whether it’s what you think you should want to do or what someone else has said you should do. Those conditions are often not enough to sustain a behavior or activity. It’s hard to keep moving forward on something that you don’t really care about or are not invested in.”
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
The evolution of candles from lighting necessity to scented ambience creator is kind of funny. For thousands of years, people relied on candles and oil lamps for light, but with the invention of the light bulb in 1879, fire was no longer needed for light. At that time, people were probably relieved to not have to set something on fire every time they wanted to see in the dark, and now here we are spending tons of money to do it just for funsies.
We love lighting candles for coziness and romance, relishing their warm, soft light as we shrink from the fluorescent bulb craze of the early 2000s. Many people use candles for adding scent to a room, and there are entire candle companies just for this purpose (Yankee Candles, anyone?). As of 2022, candles were an 11 billion dollar business.
With their widespread use, you’d think we’d know a thing or two about candles, but as it turns out, a whole bunch of us have been burning candles wrong our entire lives without knowing it.
Wax on wax off: avoiding the ‘memory ring’
A recent post on Twitter X started the education session:
“Just learned that my fiancé, who buys candles all the time and we literally always have candles burning, did not actually know how they work and blew out a medium first burn candle 30 minutes after I lit it when I wasn’t paying attention and ruined it,” the user wrote.
Many people had no idea what she was talking about. In fact, the original since-deleted post went viral with hundreds of people asking: Huh? So the OP explained.
“If a candle is not burned for long enough on first burn to melt edge to edge it will create a ‘memory ring.’ Once a candle has a memory ring, it will continue to tunnel and never burn all the way across.”
Now THAT’S something almost everyone has experienced. Candles are pretty expensive, so it’s frustrating when all that delicious-smelling wax gets left behind. Apparently, a short first burn (in this case, just 30 minutes) is one of the main culprits of a ruined candle.
Memory rings are also called ‘tunnels’
Tunneling is the name of the phenomenon where a narrow tube-shaped area of candle continues to burn deeper and deeper, leaving lots of “waste” wax around its edges. Experts agree that the first burn should last 2-4 hours at least to avoid an uneven or narrow memory ring. However, burning a candle for over 10 hours at a time can cause carbon buildup on the wick.
“This is why you should not light a large candle at night, which is unlikely to burn all the way across before you need to blow out to go to bed. Allow at least one hour per inch of candle width,” she went on.
So that’s why candles always end up with a hole in the middle, making us think the candle companies are just running a scam to make us go through candles faster. Nope. It’s a user error, and many people were flabbergasted by this realization.
“This is the most useful information I’ve been given my entire adult life,” wrote one person.
“This skill should be taught in schools,” shared another. “The amount I’ve wasted on half burnt candles is outrageous, the amount of times I’ve used Algebra since leaving school = 0.”
“When I worked at Pier 1 in the 90s I got to go to some candle workshop that taught us the correct way to use (and therefore sell) candles and that is probably some of the most useful knowledge I’ve carried in my head this long life,” shared another.
Well, never say ‘never,’ because here’s the good news: a tunneled candle can be fixed!
How to fix an existing tunnel
Probably the easiest way is to avoid tunneling your candles in the first place by burning them long enough upon first burn to liquify the entire top layer of wax. Again, that’s usually 2-4 hours.
It also helps to care for the wicks regularly! Good wicks allow for a clean, even burn. Trim the burnt ends before lighting the candle and, if possible, use a snuffer instead of blowing out the flames with your mouth. Using a candle warmer is another way to get an even melt; with the added perk of making the scented wax last much, much longer.
But even if you do accidentally “ruin” a candle, it can be recovered. Placing a ring of foil around the candle with just a small opening at the top for the flame will help trap heat and help the edges of the wax melt on the next burn. Once the memory ring evens out, you can burn the candle like normal again.
In fact, you can even use a candle warmer to melt the wax back to even and then resume burning. Some clever candlers even put candles on the hot pad of their coffee makers as a DIY hack.
What about indoor air quality?
The candle posts also prompted a separate discussion about candles and indoor air quality and the volatile organic compounds that are released when they are burned.
Some people equated burning candles with having a small engine running in your living room, though according to the Cleveland Clinic, there’s scant evidence that the amount of toxins released by burning candles is actually hazardous to your health, especially if you use high quality candles in a well-ventilated area.
But if you tolerate them, feel free to enjoy as recommended,—just make sure that first burn melts the wax all the way to the edges to avoid the dreaded tunneling.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
Job interviews can be stressful for even the most prepared job seekers. For some, one common question adds to the pressure: “Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
Panic can easily set in. “What if they don’t understand how I lost my last job?” “What if being a homemaker for those years hurts my chances?” Many other questions can run through your head.
Anna Papalia, a career coach, says the gap-in-resume question is usually asked for a different reason than most interviewees think.
⬇️ Employers do—and should—care about large gaps in employment. Since they invest major time and resources in screening, onboarding, and training new employees, companies must be selective about who they hire. 📄A resume gap could signal you had trouble finding a new job after a job loss, or that you have difficulty making a commitment. They may wonder what you were doing while unemployed and whether you’re trying to hide something. If you have gaps in your resume, hiring managers want to know the “why” behind that period of unemployment. 🚨More importantly, they want to be sure your absence from the workforce doesn’t imply behavioral patterns or attitudes that might make you a risky hire. 🧐What is considered a big gap in employment? According to Indeed.com, any break over six months is considered significant. ➡️How to answer “Why is there a gap on your resume?” 🔵 Be honest. It can be tempting to conceal gaps in your work history when you’re trying to present yourself in the best light possible to employers. But lying on your resume is never a good idea. Since they review so many of them, hiring managers are skilled at spotting inconsistencies and other red flags on resumes. Most verify work history and may even perform background checks. If you’re untruthful about employment dates, it’s likely you’ll be found out eventually—and you could even lose your job over it. Honesty is always the best option. 🔵 Explain employment gaps in your cover letter. In general, there’s no dedicated place on your resume to detail the reasons you were out of work for an extended period. This is where your cover letter comes in handy. Address resume gaps proactively by calling them out in your cover letter. Summarize the reasons for your hiatus—one or two straightforward sentences will do. Don’t get too wordy, since you want to keep the focus on your relevant experience and attributes and why you’re the right choice for the job. extra hard to illustrate the value you bring to a potential employer. 🔵 Highlight what you did accomplish while out of work. You may have been out of the workforce for a bit—but that doesn’t mean you sat around twiddling your thumbs. If you took on any unpaid roles or noteworthy projects during that period, be sure to say so on your resume. This shows you stayed active and engaged even though you weren’t formally in the workplace. Volunteer or caregiver roles should be listed on your resume just like a paying job. Any degrees completed or courses taken can be noted in the Education section of your resume. 📌For example: ◦ You volunteered for your community food bank. ◦ You went back to finish your degree. ◦ You brushed up on your technology skills by taking a course. ◦ You were the sole caregiver to an ailing family member. ◦ You pursued a side project important to you. ◦ You traveled extensively and explored new cultures. • 🎯Consider any transferable skills or perspectives you gained and how they make you a stronger candidate for the job. For instance, maybe you came up with a successful fundraising idea for a charity you volunteer for. Or you managed the event committee at your church and gained valuable leadership skills. Don’t hesitate to think outside of the box! #interview#howtoanswerinterviewquestions#resume#jobsearch#careertips#unemployed
In a TikTok video, Papalia explains that hiring managers are primarily asking this question to weed out candidates who don’t need a job.
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but they want to verify that you’re not just quitting every time you get frustrated,” she says.
Papalia says the interviewer wants to make sure the person wouldn’t just leave the job because they have a trust fund or a wealthy family member to fall back on. It’s to ensure the interviewee wants or needs the job, so they can say, “Great! We need a reliable person who needs a job, so this works out.”
Gaps in a person’s resume and career have become more common. It’s very likely that the interviewer has spoken with several candidates who have career gaps. They may have had one or two gaps on their own resume as well. So the stigma of having a gap in a resume is less of a red flag than in previous years.
How to answer “Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
While the insight Papalia provides may calm some fears, many may still wonder how to answer the resume gap question. Having an answer prepared ahead of time is still recommended. There are many reasons for gaps in a resume, but there are also some guidelines career experts recommend.
Keep it short and honest
No matter the reason for a gap in your resume, it’s better for both the interviewer and the job seeker not to dwell on it. For one, the interviewer doesn’t want or need your life story, and a detailed answer could be too personal. Secondly, the interviewee wouldn’t want to waste the limited time in the interview instead of focusing on what they can bring to the role, the job description, and the company environment.
Give a brief explanation—one or two sentences that get to the point. The best answers don’t go into unnecessary detail or leave room for second-guessing. Here are some common reasons for career gaps and stronger ways to respond:
Don’t: “I was laid off because…”
Do: “Unfortunately, I was affected by the company’s restructuring, and my role was eliminated.”
Don’t: “I wasn’t working because I was a full-time parent/caregiver and now I need a job.”
Do: “I took time away from my career to care for my young children/family member.”
Don’t: “I was fired but it wasn’t my fault because…”
Do: “I learned a lot in my last role, but it turned out to be challenging in unique ways and it wasn’t a good fit. While it didn’t work out, it was a good experience and taught me to be careful of the next role I accept.”
There may be different reasons, but overall, the advice is to keep it brief, impersonal, and focused on the positives.
Redirect the conversation to what you can offer
Another reason to keep your explanation short is to allow you to shift the focus from what happened then to what you can offer now. After your one- to two-sentence answer, spend most of your time discussing why you’re excited about the role you’re interviewing for. If it applies, share any relevant classes or certifications you acquired during your time away from full-time employment.
If you did any freelance or volunteer work during that time away, bring it up. It shows the interviewer you’ve been proactive and preparing for a full-time position rather than sitting around. It can be especially helpful if the work is relevant to the role.
Redirecting the focus to the job itself shifts the conversation back to the role rather than why you didn’t have one.
Remove the gap in the first place
Another way to answer, “Can you explain this gap in your resume?” is to remove the question entirely. Simply include a section explaining why you weren’t working during that time frame. Much like with a verbal answer, it can be brief and avoid personal details.
“Family care leave” is a valid answer. It can apply to childcare, caring for a sick loved one, or even yourself. Just be sure to make it clear that you’re ready and motivated to get back to full-time work.
Even if you were taking care of yourself… you’re a part of your family so it’s still family care leave. Also, sharing our own health issues or other challenges can activate biases in the hiring managers. We do not need to share details. ANOTHER IMPORTANT TIP: you don’t need to explain every gap. I usually say that if it’s more than a year ago or less than a year, just leave it be. #resume#cv#career#jobsearch#learnontiktok#greenscreen
Gaps in employment that are under six months usually don’t require an explanation. That said, you should still have an answer prepared if your resume includes multiple short gaps.
Eliminating those gaps preempts the question, and most interviewers will respect your privacy. It also reinforces that you’re proactive and intentional in your job search.
Those searching for work should mind the gaps, but there’s little reason to feel too tripped up about them.
