People in their 20s stereotypically think that they know everything. A few years out of high school, and they’ve got it all figured out. They’re amazed by how out of touch their parents are. Have they learned anything over all those years?
Then, someone in their twenties hits their mid-30s and realizes they were clueless all along. They actually still have a lot to learn. The funny thing is, if someone in their 50s tried to explain this to someone in their 20s, it’d most likely go in one ear and out the other.
A Redditor on the Random Questions subforum asked people 40 and over to preview what life has in store for those in their 20s: “What’s something people in their 20s won’t truly understand until they hit their 40s?” Responses center on the importance of healthy habits, how priorities shift, and appreciating your back while it doesn’t hurt.
Here are 13 of the best responses to things that people in their 20s ‘won’t truly understand’ until they hit their 40s
1. You will feel the effects… eventually
“The effects of the stupid sh*t we do to our bodies.”
“That whole, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ thing is bullsh*t. Every physical injury, every bit of abuse, every weakness turns into bigger issues as you age. You pay for it all. Not saying you should just live life in plastic bubble, but every abuse is a debt you have to pay back in the second half.”
2. Use sunscreen
“Take care of your skin NOW!! Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen every single day. Your face one day you will not recognize you’ll have to learn all new makeup that works for you so you don’t look like the crypt keeper. All new skin care. It’s starting all over again really.”
“Sun damage. It collects over time then BAMM! Your skin seems to show all the signs at some point over 40 and the signs are all there.”
3. The last time
“That you never know when this time is going to be the last time.”
“This is so true and so terrifying.”
There is a last time you pick up your child because they’ve grown up, but you won’t know it when it happens. There’s the last time you kiss your first love, the last time you have dessert with grandma, and the last time you take your childhood dog for a walk. It’s a great reminder to savor every moment because you never know when it’ll be the last time you experience it.
4. Trauma doesn’t go anywhere
“Childhood trauma will follow you all through your life until you actually do something about it (aka go to therapy, etc.).”
“This. I’m 33 and in trauma therapy at the moment.”
5. New characters show up along the journey
“Life happens in phases, and each phase has its own, unique cast of characters.”
“Absolutely, this is spot on. I’d add that the phases (at least for me) were bookended by major life events, marriage, parenting, bereavement. One chapter closed while another opened.”
Recently, Upworthy ran a story about Campfire Theory, which is a unique way of looking at friendships. The theory posits: “Imagine you are sitting around the campfire. Throughout the night, people come, and people go. Some pull up a chair for five minutes before heading home. Some stay for hours telling stories.”
The idea is to appreciate everyone who stops by the campfire, no matter how long, while understanding that most attendees are here for a few hours and then go on their way. So, we shouldn’t feel bad when some people fade away; instead, keep tending to the campfire. “Keep inviting. Keep gathering. Keep making space. Keep adding another chair. Keep creating warmth. Because while one person may quietly step away… Someone else is looking for a place to belong.”
6. Sneezes can be lethal
“It is possible to wreck yourself sneezing, to the point you require physical therapy to recover.”
“Omg I’m in my thirties and sneeze attacks already hurt my back when I’m lying down.”
7. 40 isn’t old, to a 40-year-old
“That the 40-year-old generally does not think of himself as old. I’m almost 40, and in my head I’m still basically the same person I was at 25. Obviously I have kids, more responsibilities, and hopefully somewhat better judgment, but I don’t walk around feeling like an older man. Then every so often I catch myself in a mirror and notice some gray hairs, the creases around my eyes, whatever, and there’s this brief moment of ‘when the hell did that happen?’ I think when you’re young you imagine that getting older will feel like gradually becoming an old person. It really doesn’t. You mostly just continue feeling like yourself while the guy in the mirror slowly stops agreeing with that self-assessment.”
“You’ll waste your 30s thinking you’re old and then you realize you don’t want to waste your 40s thinking the same thing. And also, that life is much shorter than you thought in your 20s.”
8. Enjoy your 20s
“This is the best time of your life. You might not realize it now, but the training wheels are still very much on. Never again will your body or mind be as forgiving of your fuckups as they are right now. You might be broke, but that limits the scope of the trouble you can get into until your brain matures a bit more. When you’re older you’ll have the weight of other people’s lives on your shoulders until the day you die.”
9. Perspectives change
“That your perspective, the things you like or dislike just changes. It’s almost like you’re not in control of it. E.g I used to watch horror films, now I cant understand how gruesome horror films are enjoyable. Or I used to have to go out every weekend. I would go round my mates at 10pm for pre drinks then go into town by midnight and get home at about 5am. Now going out at 8pm is too late.”
10. Make good choices now
“Be the best version of yourself you possibly can be right now so you don’t carry any guilt or bad feelings 20 years later. The terrible choices you make, the people you hurt and the regrets will stay with you if you make enough of them, even when you find peace and have everything you ever wished for back when you were younger.”
11. Start investing early
“Start putting even minimal amounts of money into the s&p 500 for beer later.”
“Compound interest!”
12. Your brain isn’t fully formed
“I think that’s a thing that is commonly touted, but then your brain fully develops, and you look back and realize, ‘Ohhhh wow! My brain was just a wee bebe brain.’”
This poster is right; according to the National Institute of Mental Health, the brain isn’t fully formed until a person reaches their mid-to-late 20s. The last part to mature is the prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse control, planning, and decision-making. So, you could say the average person isn’t completely in their right mind until around 30.
13. You don’t know what you don’t know
“Until you hit your 40s, you’ll never understand how little you understood before.”
“You are not, in fact, wise yet.”
“Nor will you ever be.”
