One grandmother has found a way to help her daughter out from miles away.

This tech-savvy grandma can tell you all about AutoRap and JibJab.

For Lisa Carpenter, the day her daughter announced her pregnancy was both amazing and heartbreaking.

Lisa was thrilled to become a grandmother and wanted to be in her grandson's life — but her daughter lived more than 800 miles away.  

"They had our first grandson [Brayden] in 2008," Lisa says, "which was fabulous news when they announced the pregnancy but horribly hard on my heart as I simply could not comprehend how I would survive as a long-distance grandma."


Lisa, Jim, and their three daughters. All images via Lisa Carpenter, used with permission.

Lisa and her husband, Jim, settled in Colorado Springs after their wedding 35 years ago.

They raised their three daughters — Brianna, Megan, and Andrea — with the majestic beauty of Pikes Peak as the backdrop to their lives. While two daughters settled close to home, one moved to Arizona and started her own family there.  

As their kids got older, Lisa and Jim faced what so many others have: a family that’s spread out and grandkids who are too far away to see often.  

Brayden, Camden, and Declan pause playtime for a quick photo.

Refusing to let distance prevent her from building a relationship with her grandkids, Lisa turned to tech to bridge the gap.

As part of her coping mechanism, she started blogging about her experience. Eight years later, she's built a community and inspires other grandparents to find inventive ways to connect with their long-distance grandkids.

First, she started with Skype. But when baby #2 was born, the joy of Skype was quickly overshadowed by a basic challenge: How do you get two kids to sit in front of a screen for any significant period of time?

Enter: FaceTime.

"FaceTime is much easier," Lisa says. "Now all three boys can take turns with the phone with Gramma and PawDad [the name one grandson gave his grandad when he got a bit mixed up trying to say grandpa]. Sometimes we see a lot of ceilings as they walk around the house talking, or they don't quite get their faces on the screen and it's an arm or belly we're viewing."

A little FaceTime action.

She gets to pitch in and take some pressure off her daughter, too. "We typically FaceTime while mom's making dinner so it keeps them busy while she's prepping," Lisa explains.

The phone gave Lisa a lifeline to remain involved as a long-distance grandparent.

She receives texts often, with photos of the boys around the house. And it’s not a one-way street: Lisa and Jim use apps like JibJab to make little videos and show the kids that grandparents can be silly, too. She even persuaded 9-year-old James, her oldest daughter’s stepson, to remix "Old MacDonald" with her using AutoRap.

Lisa and James share a sweet moment.

Still, there have been challenges.

"I would like to Skype, FaceTime, just plain talk on the phone more often than works for my daughter's schedule," Lisa shares. "I was first offended by that and it took me a bit to realize I need to be considerate of the time it takes to interact from afar."  

Brayden, Camden, and Declan cheesing during Easter festivities.

Now, instead of being frustrated, Lisa appreciates the time that her daughter puts in to keep her connected with the little ones in between visits.

Hiccups aside, maintaining a digital connection has been incredibly rewarding.

When her youngest grandson was causing mild mayhem during his brother’s baseball game, it was grandma to the rescue. Her daughter let him FaceTime with Lisa, and from 800 miles away, she gave her daughter the break she needed to watch her other son play.

James has a model moment.

But her favorite memory is of a little message her middle grandson shared. He left her a ToyMail message — they call them "snorts" — that said "Hey, Gramma! I hope you're having a good day! Love ya!"

"That was it. And that made my day," says Lisa.

Lisa and Jim get some in-person time with the three boys.

Lisa — and the many grandparents like her — are proof that the stereotype of the tech-illiterate grandparent is more than a little outdated.

"Being able to stay in touch from afar is the only way I survive as a long-distance grandmother," says Lisa. "I know some grandparents who move to be near their grandkids, and that's something my husband and I simply won't do for a variety of reasons."

"Having the ability to FaceTime and text and share this and that via various apps and such keeps me from regretting that decision, keeps me feeling like a relevant — and remembered — force in the lives of my beloved grandsons."

Correction 5/25/2017: Daughter Brianna's name has been corrected.

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Today, I'm a 35-year-old man with a flame shaved into my beard. If the '80s movies I love so much are any indication, this is a sure sign I'm going through some kind of existential crisis. Next week, when the semester starts and I begin teaching again, it will not be strange if my colleagues start to worry about me just a little. A sports car or a neck-jerking pivot to physical fitness — that's an understandable response to the realization that life is fleeting. But a large meticulous flame carved out of facial hair? What does one do with that?

At this moment, though, I'm showing my face proudly to a woman wearing a swimsuit with a taco cat on it. We have only recently met, but she's telling me that she's so into my "fade" that she wants to kiss it. Then she does, blowing a raspberry into my cheek so hard that her hat falls off. Neither of us can stop laughing.

"Live Mas!" she yells with the excitement of someone who's never had trouble fully seizing the moment.

"Live Mas!" I shout back without any irony. There is no irony here in Palm Springs, where, for four days only, hundreds of people celebrate their love for Taco Bell.

Here, there's only swimming and hot sauce-themed leisure wear, and the warm pleasant feeling that comes from eating too much and knowing that you're with your own people. Even if the only thing that connects you is a love for a fast food giant that feeds you when you're hammered and shameless at 2 a.m.

We drank the Baja Blast! My Taco Bell fade and my friend's specialty manicure!Mark Shrayber

What does it mean to Live Mas? This is a question I am forced to ask myself over and over during my 24-hour stay at "The Bell," where I have stowed away as a friend's plus-one. We are, of course, both politely pretending that I'm a full-on guest with all the perks that entails, but we also both know that I wouldn't be here eating unlimited quesadillas poolside without her.

So maybe that's the first thing Live Mas means: To build strong lifelong connections which you can, with some luck, exploit to your benefit. :) :) :)

But this is too cynical an interpretation, because everyone here is so happy. Happy that they've gotten a reservation; happy that they can cool off in a room themed after an iconic Mountain Dew Drink, and happy that they can share their own personal story of what Taco Bell means to them. (Though there's no formal essay contest — I've checked.)

Me: This room won't be that cool. Also me: OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE COOLEST ROOM I'VE EVER BEEN IN!!!Mark Shrayber

Snatches of this story float around the "Fire" pool, where all the entertainment is concentrated: One couple canceled their trip to Prague because "Prague will always be there" — a brave stance considering climate change; another met last year on Tinder after the girlfriend's Taco Bell senior photos went viral; at the opening ceremony on Thursday, where sauce packets were cut instead of a ribbon, a city official brought others to tears with both her Taco Bell fashion and a memory of how her parents would feed an entire family with 19-cent-tacos from the first-ever Taco Bell in Downey, California.

Oh, I forgot one: The guy who skipped out on Prague? He got a giant bell shaved into the side of his head, so he might have to miss out on a black-tie event happening later this week. But it's all good. Bring on the nacho fries.

I make fast friends with four women who are here for a bachelorette party, the bride overwhelmed with good vibes and prosecco. This year, for her 30th, she rented a party bus. Inside? $100 worth of Taco Bell that her fiancee was worried might not be consumed.

"But little did he know," she shouts in the hot tub where we're "cooling off" after a long day of 108-degree sunning, "we ate it all!"

A bachelorette party and a birthday! We're really living it up (but also staying hydrated.)Mark Shrayber

Others whoop it up at the twist, but we all get it. Though there's no essay contest, I don't mind telling you that when my first boyfriend dumped me 14 years ago, I stuffed my face with chalupas. When I lost a job I really loved four years ago, I once ordered so much Taco Bell that the delivery app of my choice informed me I'd exceeded the maximum number of items they could comfortably fill in one order. We get it — though none of us can truly explain it.

There are, if you look at the The Bell from a literary perspective, many other writers who deserve this experience more than me. They could talk about the blue of the pool. Or the insouciance of youth. Draw parallels between marketing stunts such as this and the end-stage capitalism. Or envision a "Demolition Man" future where Taco Bell is fine dining and none of us know how to use the three shells in the bathroom to get ourselves clean.

And I wish these writers could be here to paint you these landscapes, but what you've got is me, a literal Taco Bell super-fan, and what I'm doing is eating and getting sunburned and taking a synchronized swimming class with the Aqualillies, who refer to themselves as "the world's most glamorous water ballet entertainment," but have very little idea of what to do with 10 eager recruits who can't stay afloat or on beat.


G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!!Photo courtesy of Taco Bell.

"It's okay," one of the instructors comforts me just before the Tacolilies (the name of our "team") are invited to perform our watery version of "Senorita" — which was supposed to be two minutes long, then 1:15, and has now been judiciously cut down, due to talent, to about 45 seconds — in the bigger pool. "We regularly teach five-year-olds. And you're doing much better."

Usually, I would take offense at such blatant reads, but today I'm unbothered. I'll continue to be so right until I get home and discover that I've left all my electronics on United Flight 5223 (if anyone wants to get them back to me). And even then, I rage at myself for all of five seconds before checking that I've still got what's important: A certificate that says I did not drown while doing water ballet.

It's still there. As is my phone, which is blowing up with messages from people who took pictures of me in what Taco Bell calls its "power suit," and which is best described as "cult outfit, but kinda make it fashion." I bought my husband one, too, and I look forward to the argument we're going to have about holiday cards later.

This is "Live Mas."

I've never been so happy to match with someone else in my life. MaMark Shrayber

Or maybe it's the moment another stranger tells me that we'll be friends forever. Such friendships are forged quickly when you've got less than 24 hours to make lifelong connections and I'm pleased to get the full experience.

"We may never meet again," he says while we're swimming, "but we'll always have this time together."

Then we establish that he lives just across the park from me in San Francisco.

"Aw, man," he says, floating away to take pictures of the people he came with, "I've got lots of close friends I never see because they live across that damn park."

But the sentiment holds.

We Live Mas it on.

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