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Pop Culture

Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

millennials, regrets, millennial life lessons
via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers

Dad breaks down in joyous tears after finding out daughter won four awards at school

"I've never been an academic student. I've never reached those highs before."

Photo credit: Canva

Dad breaks down in tears after daughter won four school awards

Kids are constantly surprising us. It's one of the perks of being a parent, watching your child learn new things as they grow all while making us proud. This can be especially true for parents who may not have had the best childhood or may not have been the best student. One dad attended his daughter's awards ceremony at her elementary school and left in tears after being overwhelmed with pride.

In a video uploaded to social media, Ralmon McAfee is seen with tears streaming down his face and we soon find out why. It's not just because his daughter was the recipient of four awards but because he didn't expect a child he created to be smart enough to receive academic awards.

Photo credit: Canva

While parents often do their best to raise their children with more resources and opportunity than they had, it can be hard to overcome the negative thoughts left over from childhood. Clearly this emotional dad was still holding on to the belief that he wasn't intelligent as a child and therefore unintentionally expected his child to experience what he had in his childhood educational settings. This makes the emotional response all the more intense for the man.

The video was originally uploaded at the end of the school year to TikTok but has recently been reshared on Reddit where it has gone viral again.

@mr.review832 PROUD FATHER NEVER HAVE I EVER RECEIVED ANY OF THOSE AWARDS .....BUT FOR MY SEED MY FLESH BLOOD TO DO IT !!!!!...I COULDNT BE ANYMORE HAPPIER!!!! #fypシ #GRADUATION ♬ original sound - RAMBO

"Call me soft. Call me what y'all want. But I never expected my child to receive four awards. And I've never, and I've never been a academic student. I've never reached those heights before. Call me weak, call me lame but I'm crying because I never thought that could come from me and I'm proud of my daughter," the dad says.

Photo credit: Canva

He wasn't the only one exuding excitement. People who viewed the video were happy the dad got to experience seeing his daughter succeed in a way he didn't achieve as a child and didn't know that his children could. As the video was ending the proud father told viewers he was headed back to work to continue to provide for his daughter. Viewers hope he told everyone at work all about his daughter's awards so he had others to share in his joy.

One person says, "I hope he told everyone at work, gotta share the excitement he has for his girl!" before another responds, "You kidding?! He's probably told all his colleagues, his boss, AND EVERY client or customer he's served that day! And rightly so. Every parent is or should be proud of their kids' achievements, no matter how small or big. I was and still am when my kids achieve things. And mine are in their 20's and 30's."

Photo credit: Canva

The video made another dad cry right along with him, "I’m a 6’4 275 lb semi jacked dad bod dude that cries during Disney movies. This dude is the FURTHEST from lame and weak of “soft” (imagine thinking kindness towards others is a bad thing).A real man isn’t afraid to show their emotions, communicates, and has empathy and love for others and their accomplishments. He has it in spades. F-ck anyone else who says otherwise. I’m so happy for him and his daughter. F-ck now I’m tearing up lol."

"This is the opposite of weak in my books. This is a father who is so secure in his masculinity that he is not ashamed of crying over his daughter’s achievements. This is strength I’m so happy for this guy and his little star," another writes.

Photo credit: Canva

"'I never thought that could come from me.' Man that's so deep and heartbreaking. He thought that his makeup, his DNA, was 'bad' and wouldn't allow for someone to be academically inclined. He's having a revelation about humanity and it's beautiful. I hope he knows now that he always had, and likely still has, the potential to be whatever kind of person he wants," someone says.

Another tears up at the dad's thought about himself saying, "The thought that in his mind she accomplished something that he feels or was made to feel like he couldn’t. Now he knows that he does have it in him. Also that he’s nurturing something beautiful in his daughter.As a minority we buy into these narratives that tear us down. I’m so happy to see in this day not only that he got to experience that with his child but that he is able to show emotion for it. Some much going on in this video


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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Family

'Shut your mouth.' New grandma offers spot on advice to being a non-toxic mother-in-law.

“Nobody cares how you did it."

@wendygimpelrealtor/TikTok

She brings up good points.

We all know the typical image of a mother-in-law is…less than positive. And that is obviously because for many, many people out there, having an in-law who’s controlling, passive aggressive, narcissistic, and altogether unpleasant is a very real experience.

However, there are MIL’s out there, like Wendy Gimpel, who provide not only a soothing counter narrative, but also a bit of tough love advice for those who need to hear it.

In a video posted to her TikTok, we see Gimpel nuzzling her newborn grandchild, whom she is watching over while her son and “his beautiful wife” are off enjoying a date night. Immediate brownie points.

@wendygimpelrealtor Be the best grandparent you can be! be supportive. Do the dishes make the food clean the kitchen fold the diapers do their laundry. Change the sheets love with an open hand. #grandma #grandparents #supportiveparents #over50 #relationships #family #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel


Gimpel went on to explain how her algorithm kept exposing her to folks around her age who apparently have “estrangement issues” with their children, which prompted her to say a few words.

“All I want to say is, our job as grandparents, in my opinion, is to help our kids be the best parents they can be. We already did this. We had our chance. And if we did it right, or at least partially correct, we get to do this!” she said, gesturing towards the little one.

She then added that “Nobody cares how you did it,” she says, referring to raising children, because they aren’t the ones doing the childrearing anymore.

“His wife gets to do [it] the way she wants to do it. ... I just want to do what you want me to do, and I’m not going to give you unsolicited advice. If you want to ask me something, I’m happy to share how I did it, but because I did it a certain way doesn’t mean you need to do it a certain way.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Let’s do better 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #grandparents #over50 #relationships #family #over50 #foryoupage #fyp ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

She used the example of cloth diapers, saying, “you wanna do cloth diapers? Let’s do cloth diapers. Show me how to do ‘em. I’ll air dry them. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I just wanna do what you want me to do.” How refreshing is that?

And then Gimpel really drove her point home, bluntly telling people what to actually do if they want to be good grandparents.

“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand. Don’t expect anything in return and maybe you’ll have a relationship with your grandkids. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Just to be supportive and helpful and just to be involved, that’s my goal ... They are their own family unit now: they need to do what works for their family.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Pick your battles, be the glue, love your village 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #family #relationship #over50 #genx #relationships #foryoupage #fyp #pickyourbattles ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

Unsurprisingly, millions of viewers found the video, and loved the sentiment, particularly the “no one cares how you did it” part.

“‘No one cares how you did it.’ SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK,’” one person wrote.

Another said, "If you offer a workshop, I have a few grandparents to register.”

Perhaps part of this need to insert input comes from a fear of being seen as obsolete. But honestly, it’s not so much that former methods are invalid, it’s just a completely different world (grandparents didn’t have to concern themselves with digital hygiene, for one thing). And point blank, is it more important to be right? Or to maintain a healthy connection with our loved ones? Sometimes it really does boil down to that simple question.

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Humor

A comedian's mom has the most adorable reaction to being name-checked in her son's comedy show

"Do you think she's trying to be rude?"

TikTok

Gareth Reynolds and his mom

Gareth Reynolds, stand-up comic and co-host of the popular podcast The Dollop (alongside comedian Dave Anthony,) is one of the funniest working comics out there. His jokes are stellar, but it's the improvised audience reactions that really resonate with tons of fans.

At a recent comedy show in Eugene, Oregon, he asks an audience member, "What do you got?" (after presumably talking about pets). A woman answers that she has a dog. But what she says next is bizarre, hilarious, and completely unexpected, even for the most seasoned comedians. "She's a weiner-pit. Like your mom." She then elicits a self-satisfied laugh, like she's been waiting forever to say those words.


@reynoldsgareth

Unbelievable. #weinerpit Garethreynolds.com for tickets to all upcoming shows

It takes the audience a minute to even understand what just happened, but shortly after, they begin laughing. Gareth responds, "What the F---?" and the audience goes wild. He gathers himself and says, "Let me walk you through my favorite part of what just happened. First of all, the no waiting for me to respond at any time." He then makes punching gestures and says, "But also. She took her mask off like Maverick does in Top Gun." He mimes ripping a mask off and says, calmly — 'Weiner pit. Like your mom.' And then put it back on like her mission was done."

It's later that the real comedy gold is mined. Gareth decides to show his mother, Pam, the video, explaining, "You're involved in this. I want to get your reaction." She watches the clip a couple of times, while holding a small fan to her face. Gareth repeats the line, "She's a weiner pit. Like your mom."

Video may not be suitable for younger readers.

@reynoldsgareth

My mom’s reaction to being called a weiner pit…

Pam busts out laughing in the most adorable way — her English accent only making it all the more delightful. "That's really funny! A weiner-pit! Like your mom?" She then stops for a moment and asks, "Do you think she's trying to be rude?" Gareth explains that yes, she was trying to be rude, to which Pam questions, "So what does she think, I'm like a little pit bull?"

Gareth pauses. "Oh Mom. No. Think about it. A weiner pit." The words are said a few more times until Pam has an "aha!" moment. "Oh like a willy!" This is affirmed. "But where's the pit?" Gareth, in the most gracious way possible, says — "You are the pit."

Pam, still a bit confused, repeats, "Willy pit," followed by the most engaging giggle, possibly ever heard. Gareth realizes he must further explain, which he does. "Not as funny now, is it?"

She looks up at him again, still smiling. "That IS rude. Well, I think I'll have to track her down, have a word with her, tell her it's not true." Never once does Pam break her grin.

Upworthy spoke to Gareth, who admits that he had no idea the fan had planned to heckle him, or as he put it (referencing his boxing metaphor earlier,) do a "rope-a-dope." With regard to his mom, he shares, "She is always this adorable and I rarely show her stuff. Sometimes my family will show her a thing, or if it involves my family, I'll show her."

Though back in 2020, Gareth shares, "I did a whole series with her called Pamdemics." This made the already popular comedy-mom even more lovable to his fans, and he knows just when to use it. And although Gareth might be biased, after being asked what else he has to say about his mom, his answer is what many of us might be thinking: "I guess only that my mother is truly the loveliest."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com



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